bullshit galore

call me poa

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

breaking my silence: there’re a few hills i will always die on and one of them is that jazz gobbled up almost all of the tall genes in the family. a few month after her 17th birthday her body decides it’s Time To Be Tall and all of her sleeping sequoia genes activate all at once like sleeper agents.

danny was supposed to be the same height as maddie, but then he got zapped by the insane amount of electricity and ectoplasm. at first his organism was just too busy keeping him alive and kicking but after a few years unilaterally decided that yes, actually, it was done growing, don’t ask again.

[ccoralilj-deactivated20260517]

hanguang-jun got his birthday present

[30foolish]

Yilling laozu to trophy wife pipeline✨

[teaboot]

God I love Apothecary Diaries. Maomao is like a dog with a mouth full of Lego bricks to me. Babygirl don’t eat that

[teaboot]

So imagine you go to a brothel and when you get there it’s full of beautiful women but then also there’s this dog. And when you ask “hey what’s with the dog” they’re like oh the dog, we love the dog, everybody loves the dog, the dog collects rocks from the yard. And you’re like “okay” but later you find the dog gathering piles of rocks and cementing them into a beautiful river-stone wall to protect the building. And you’re like “I didn’t even know dogs could do that”. And they’re like “that’s nothing, check this out” and then the dog starts doing multiplication with the rocks. You’re like “what the fuck” and they go “nahh she’s just getting started”. And they start giving the dog complex mathematical formulas that the dog answers by laying out the rocks. And you go “holy shit that’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen”. And they go “it’s the smartest dog in the world” and you’re like “wow that’s amazing”. And then you look outside and the dog is eating the rocks. And you’re like “can the dog eat rocks?”. And they’re like “no”

[teaboot]

One day you find out the dog went missing. “We don’t know where the dog went but we miss the dog”, the beautiful women tell you. A year later the dog comes back. The dog is accompanied by the Duke of wales. “My gardener stole this dog but now I would like to buy it”, he says. “The dog has built me a beautiful castle and solved the viscount’s mysterious murder.” You aren’t sure how the dog did that by stacking rocks but you’re still incredibly impressed. The beautiful women are so happy to see the dog again. “Did you know that the dog can ride a bike?” The Duke asks. You look at the dog. The dog is obviously concealing a mouth full of gravel

[elisabethdeep-blog]

This is the post that enticed me to watch apothecary diaries and now that I am watching apothecary diaries I am constantly pointing at the very deliberately cat-coded character, whose name is 'cat-cat', and shouting 'this dog can EAT ROCKS?'.

[teaboot]

I’ve gotten so many messages about this post because Maomao is EXPLICITLY cat-coded with cat motifs and cat associations with cat jokes but the truth is there was no energy I could think of that captured her baffling aura like a large old farm dog dog eating a rock. Cat eating plastic? Cat opening doors? Cat eating legos? No, she is my grandpa’s very clever old sheepdog who would roll his eyes at you and tiredly and patiently perform very human tasks as you asked him to like a 56 year old underpaid chain-smoking senior retail colleague and then turn around and try and eat a rock. In a world of elegant show-breed cats she is a cat yes but also The Most Dog cat there ever was. And she’s eating rocks

[teaboot]

Yeah actually, one day you give the dog a bath and it’s the most majestic giant Norwegian forest cat you’ve ever seen in your entire life. But☝️it’s still an absolute FIEND for eating rocks

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

has it ever been even confirmed in universe that pariah dark is a ghost king or did everybody just decide to call him that for the lolz

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

some rando pulling up to the eyeball council, putting a crown on their head and going “I am a king of ghosts now” and everybody just going along with it would be incredibly funny

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

has it ever been even confirmed in universe that pariah dark is a ghost king or did everybody just decide to call him that for the lolz

[sapin7]

another version of me

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

I get what you meant but coming Val to a rabid raccoon is uncomfortable to compare to

I… may not have worded the post well, I think? Because I wasn’t comparing Valerie to a raccoon, I was comparing Danny. I think even in the show Valerie treated the ghost problem akin to a pest infestation (if I remember correctly, she even called Danny a pest several times? At least in my translation), so, yeah. I apologise for not wording it clearly enough, this reading wasn’t my intention at all. I will correct the post’s wording, but existing reblogs are out of my hands, unfortunately. :( Thank you for reaching out, though!

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

valerie being into theory crafting is so incredibly funny. like, yes, girl, go prowl around graveyards and hack into the police records to figure out ghost boy's human identity, i'm sure it will have absolutely no impact on you whatsoever.

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

Dani and her identity issues is such a juicy concept. Vlad created her to be a perfect replica of Danny, a copy so flawless that it could be mistaken for an original. Even if she’s a failed experiment, she was made in an image of a boy Vlad is obsessed with, still created from the same matrix as all the other ones. Her likes, dislikes, inspirations, hobbies, everything was purposefully engineered to be as near perfect facsimile of Danny as Vlad could possibly get. How, after all of that, can you even trust yourself? How can you look at your dreams and fears and insecurities and not see a mirage in a broken mirror? What does she has that wasn’t planted, wasn’t written into her that makes her a person and not another horrific failed experiment that shouldn’t have existed in the first place?

But at the same time, what does it mean to be a person? Twins, despite quite literally being copies of each other, are still their own distinct selves. A lot of people have similar drive, and goals, and temperament, and yet nobody would call them the same. What makes a person? The looks? The personality? The memories that have shaped you into a person you are? And who can even judge that? Who has the right to decide your existence if not you?

[cfich]

Boys will be boys)

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

man, valerie is so fucking funny. danny accidentally got her dad fired, and she immediately went and picked up a gun to hunt him down as if he was a rabid raccoon. truly an exceptional hater ❤️

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

you know, for a fandom that loves it's angst extra crunchy, spectra is incredibly underutilized. like. she's so fascinating as a character, both from the plot and narrative perspective. she's so incredibly scary and cruel and dangerous, and not because she has op powers or looks monstrous (though that definitely helps). it's because she's both smart and perceptive, because she's observant and extremely careful with her words, every sentence carefully weighted and considered. she doesn't fight, she doesn't threaten, and yet, aside from vlad and dan, she's the only one who's shaken danny almost to a point of no return. how many deaths, do you think, have occurred in the schools she’s been to that were never ruled as a murder?

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[tumblgang]

She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

[skuubasally]

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

[luckytaters]

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

[saudadesinfinitas-deactivated20]

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

[drayaintshit-deactivated2019030]

☝🏾😂

[callmedeku24]

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

[emeraldmercury]

Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her

[haiku-robot]

idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[jacobmick]

Because wise, I am.

[seymonecristina]

Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys

[silverslipstream]

Reblogging Madame Zeroni because I would hate for my great-great grandson to get hit in the head by running shoes

[mesooph]

running in circles

[strawbunyy]

become the dawn

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

Look, while yes, Guys in White have an insane angst potential, you kinda have to admire them at least a little bit for their ardent dedication to Being Absolutely Fucking Awful At Catching Ghosts. Which is quite literally their governmentally mandated job, by the way.

Like, not a SINGLE win under their belt, none at all. They’re funded and supported by the government, have the newest and most cutting-edge technology and weapons, were literally trained for the job, and yet a bunch of fourteen year olds with zero experience are infinitely better at ghost-hunting than they are. JACK FENTON is better at ghost-hunting than they are. Scratch that, they’re so pathetic at doing their job that some hippies with an extremely anxious Scooby-Doo rip-off perform better than them. The closest they came to catching a ghost was when they ambushed a teenager who maybe, possibly, at certain angles looked kinda like Phantom, if you squint a little and tilt your head just so. They failed to contain a fucking Freakshow, and he’s not even a ghost, he’s just some guy!! They didn’t even catch that guy, funnily enough; Danny practically hand-delivered him to GIW and yet they lost him in what? A few months??

Useless ass motherfuckers.