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@relvetaninnflight
if Lwaxana and Ishka met, I bet Ishka would have found Lwaxana like five options for profitable marriages by lunchtime and Lwaxana, after learning that only recently have Ferengi women been allowed to wear clothes in public, would organize a gift of thousands of elaborate Betazoid dresses to help get the women's fashion industry on Ferenginar off the ground
Ok but what if Ishka and Lwaxana got married.
Would they be naked? Would they be clothed?
There are 7 main story structures that can help you grab your reader's attention from page one and hold it until the end of your novel. I explore them here.
Seems about right.
FUCKHANDS MCMIKE
Breathing. It’s BREATHING.
that is one of the most ominous noises i have ever heard.
wow.
And you people post videos of weird sounds in the woods. I tell you wind chimes are wonderful things.
Psst, hey, Marilyn Monroe’s image as a freewheeling sexpot was a carefully constructed lie. The real Marilyn Monroe was a roiling tragedy and her life was an indictment of our society as a whole. She was orphaned after her mother had a schizophrenic breakdown, bounced around between foster homes where she was sexually abused, and married a 21-year-old at 16 to get out of being sent to an orphanage. Hugh Hefner published nude photos of her without her consent that were taken when she was 23 and desperate. She suffered severe anxiety and depression, which she coped with by drinking and using barbiturates, and was already a full-blown addict when she became famous in the mid-50s. Her career was one of exploitation, condescension and alienation, and she killed herself at 36. That Hugh Hefner, a man who was at best an unpleasant footnote in her life, felt entitled to be buried next to her is one more humiliation in a pop cultural landscape we should all be ashamed of.
“Please don’t make me a joke… I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one… I want to be an artist, an actress with integrity..”
- Marilyn Monroe, last taped interview, days before her death
She deserved better than this
Can I just also say, in addition to all this, that I’m still pissed off about the fact that Joe DiMaggio swooped in and gave Marilyn a Christian funeral before her Rabbi could return from a trip overseas? ‘Cause that shit is fucked up.
So many men who claimed to be in love with her, and not one could fucking respect her wishes, even in death.
“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.”” — Marilyn Monroe
Also:
As one of the biggest Ella Fitzgerald fans, she literally helped desegregate her performances. Ella was not allowed to play at Mocambo because of her race.
Ella Fitzgerald: “I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt… she personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him – and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status – that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman – a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.” thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg (Source: dmvnessa)
ALSO:
In August 1956, Monroe began filming The Prince and the Showgirl, with Laurence Olivier staring and directing. The production was complicated by conflicts between him and Monroe. He angered her with the patronizing statement “All you have to do is be sexy” and his attempts to get her to replicate Vivien Leigh’s interpretation. She became pregnant and miscarried during the production, which heavily worsened her depression and increased her drug abuse.
A L S O , I will never forget watching a documentary about her once and, speaking about her marriage with Arthur Miller, the narrator said, verbatim: “America’s Brain had married America’s Body”. Like, literally, because he was a famous writer, he was entitled to personhood; she, being an actress, and a beautiful woman, was reduced to being “a body”. I have never been more enraged with her portrayal in the media. If you want to be dismissive of her, literally come for you.
She was also chronically ill her whole life: she suffered from endometriosis with pain so debilitating that a clause was written into her contracts accounting for the days when she would not physically be able to work during her periods.
She was on courses of strong medication, had invasive surgery to try and limit the damage caused, and despite trying for a baby numerous times, suffered many miscarriages because of her condition. The miscarriages especially sent her into deep depression, since she desperately wanted to be a mother.
There is speculation that the condition may have been one of the triggers in her drug dependency as well, because when you have endo, you will take whatever you can to stop. it. hurting.
Marilyn Monroe was smart and strong as hell in a world that saw her as a sexy doll and nothing more.
She deserves better
Alexandra Dillon
These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:
1.
“Okay, and who’s the president?”
“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”
“It’s okay, you know who he is.”
2.
“Who’s the president?”
“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….
“Yup, good enough.”
3.
“And who’s the president,”
“Not fuckin’ Obama!”
“I feel ya.”
4.
“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“
“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”
“Oh, well, alright then.”
5. (My personal favorite)
“Who’s the president?”
“Ew.”
“Good enough.”
My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.
lol me too , lady
What do editors do all day? Not edit!
The appalling travesty that was BBC’s Sherlock has infested the Sherlock Holmes fandom like a malignant tumour so I want you all to know how awesome the OG literary Holmes was:
The literary Sherlock Holmes was an autistic coded character before people knew what autism was.
The literary Sherlock Holmes was an explicitly aromantic character before people had a word for that.
Literary Holmes solved mysteries not merely for the intellectual stimulation but also out of a genuine desire to do good. He cared deeply about every client. HE WAS NOT A HIGH-FUNCTIONING SOCIOPATH! He could definitely be insensitive and blunt but he was not callous or unfeeling.
Literary Sherlock threatened to beat a guy who was being creepy with his own stepdaughter.
Literary Sherlock learned to grow past his misogyny after a woman outsmarted him.
In particular, he was always respectful to Mrs Hudson, never belittling or talking down to her (the otherwise enjoyable Guy Ritchie films screw this up too). In fact, they got along so well that they were actually a very popular ship back in the day.
Literary Holmes would NEVER call Watson an idiot. He was his only friend who he loved and respected, even if he did get frustrated with him sometimes. He didn’t need to belittle others to feel powerful.
Literary Holmes and Watson broke into a corrupt man’s house and witnessed him being murdered by a woman he was blackmailing. They knew exactly who she was but they let her get away because they were chaotic good like that.
Literary Holmes had HUMILITY: something a smug prig like Steven Moffat will never understand. He could be arrogant but he had a sense of humour and was willing to admit when he was wrong. And he was wrong sometimes because he was a flawed human being, not some gross male power fantasy.
Literary Holmes respected the working class and was often disdainful of the rich. In Victorian England!
Literary Holmes indirectly caused the death of a guy who abused (and implicitly molested) his daughters and he didn’t give a single fuck about it.
At the end of the series, Holmes retires to Sussex to keep bees. Beekeepers are awesome.
whoop there it is.
in order to lead a happy life im gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit
not to be dramatic but this post genuinely made me consider my priorities in life and the choices i need to make for my own wellbeing
jalilnajafov on ig
What if Earth is already the property of some galactic empire that hasn’t gotten around to settling us yet because they just purchased us off of another galactic empire a few decades ago?
What if the leaders of said empire tells its citizen to colonize Earth, and they start taking over our cities and land. They find it justifiable because we don’t use the elements in Earth’s core like they do so we don’t really own the planet.
We’re pushed to Mars, where only 1% of humanity lives in relative peace but a lot of hunger and a few international struggles, which the aliens feed into. They eventually settle Mars too, pushing us to the moons of Jupiter, then Saturn.
Eventually the empire becomes a bit nicer, and builds us a bunch of reservations throughout the solar system, though only a few of them are on Earth. Today we’re a minority in our own Solar System, mostly running Casinos on Mars or giving tours of the ruins of our once great cities. The aliens stopped calling us Meatbags though. Now they use the more respectable Native-Earthling term, though they’ll rarely acknowledge whatever nationality your ancestors had before they came.
The message of this gets over the head of a lot of people and it’s making me kinda sad.
