Do it afraid

[random post button] Reminders and other things that make me feel better or mean something to me in some way. Some are harsher than others, and some may contradict each other. Not everything will apply to everyone and what may apply can change. Not every message is meant for every single person. Different things can be true at the same time and nuance matters. I use a variety of tags for my own convenience.

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[lastoneout]

I have been in EMDR therapy recently to help with past trauma and like 90% of the appointments are just this post. Which I thought was silly at first bcs I was like "well I know how I'm feeling, I feel bad" but man you have no idea. Literally JUST talking through whatever stressful thing I have going on at the moment and whenever I feel a Big Emotion stopping and acknowledging, naming, and sitting with it makes a huge difference. I've made more progress with my trauma and mental illnesses just doing this in a single year than I have in like 10+ years of therapy.

It might feel silly or pointless at first but stick with it, it really helps.

[somethingtocallmine]

[asexual-amanita]

You can choose to do the right thing while lacking empathy.

You can choose to do the wrong thing while having empathy.

Empathy doesn’t determine your choices or morality.

[caringcoffeechats]

controversial opinion but unfortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are mean to people, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have secret kind thoughts. fortunately you are your actions and what you say. if you are kind in your actions and your words, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes have mean thoughts. the power is in working against inner negative thoughts and being a better person despite it. you have the ability to cultivate the person you want to be.

[scorpionlafemme]

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I can't find the post but there's this one post that's like "aging is less than 1% as terrifying as whatever the fuck is going on with people desperately trying not to age"

That but with weight.

Getting or being fat is less than 1% as terrifying as whatever the fuck is going on with people desperately trying to not be fat.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

note to self: sometimes you have to let people be wrong about you, because they will refuse to see you any other way

[beneath-the-moon-and-me]

[myfootyrthroat]

I wish there were a better way to talk about some hot button issues without pushing the hot button.

[myfootyrthroat]

"The bus stops on my route are usually full of people freebasing, so if the weather's bad, people waiting for the bus end up standing in the rain."

Oh, so you think they should just go to jail? That addicts deserve to suffer?

"No, but now we don't have functional shelters for people using transit, which discourages use. It's two problems."

[myfootyrthroat]

Or someone in a local subreddit was asking what resources were available because someone in their apartment building was having a mental health crisis. This involved screaming racial slurs into the poster's door at all hours, vandalizing their car, and leaving them letters about how they knew the poster had bugs/spies in their apartment and various threats if they didn't "stop".

Most of the responses were "The police would probably just shoot them" and "Actually mentally ill people more likely to be *victims* of violence than to cause it", which is all well and good. But I also don't think that the person asking should have to live with someone screaming racial slurs into their door at 2AM or vandalizing their car? Again, we have 2 problems here.

[flawedamythyst]

Got a letter from building management saying that there have been several instances of homeless people getting in and sleeping in the hall, so we need to be better at shutting the door, and call the police if we see anyone doing that.

Which I don't want to do because it feels like overkill, but they also said they were peeing on the hall carpets and were asleep with a lit cigarette, and I don't want to live in a urine-soaked building that might burn down either.

Structural problems like homelessness or addiction, or lack of mental health support, don't negate specific problems like I don't want my living situation to become unpleasant or dangerous.

[whyenn-reader]

as good of a time as any to share my list of activities I do during what i like to call Scheduled Soul Maintenence to avoid burnout

go on an aimless bike/ride/walk - move your body, do it for as long as you feel like it, discover new places near you weather that is a frog or a cafe

watch a new movie/read a new book/listen to a new album - get inspired, excercise having opinions and longer attention span, break out of consuming content and make a choice about what you want to expirience

create something in a medium i haven't used in a while - get out of a habit, rekindle a flame you haven't been upkeeping, making a friendship bracelet counts

go have a fun new drink/snack - arguably most important, have a little treat without rush, slow down and focus on physical sensations, treat yourself in a way that isn't landfillcore

meet with friends and/or go to a place where you meet strangers - human connection is good for you, (maybe some casual sex if you like that/try something new with your partner)

make some bad art - create for the sake of creating without any expectations

play an instrument - this can be anything that makes you reach a kind of flow state

go see something you haven't yet - get to know the cultural/geographical map of your area, this includes events, places, or just anything that makes you go out of your way to expirience something new, can be like a viewpoint or it can be a museum exhibit, anything you find cool

cook/bake something new - nurish your body, break out of cooking habits and routine, make it an event, plate it nicely too and i would like to point out that none of these have to cost more money than your usual lifestyle.

[str-ngeloop]

we are very bad at accurately predicting future emotional states and this is a cause for hope

[hopencyde-deactivated20250901]

[fipindustries]

TEN WAYS of admitting youre wrong in an ego preserving way

[fipindustries]

ok, i was only able to think of six

6. think on the social advantages that you will get by admitting you were wrong: air of humility, bigger trust from the other person, getting to brag about the fact that you were capable of admitting it that one time to make the other person look stubborn

5. if it is the truth that you were wrong then by stating that you were wrong then you are being currently right

4. focus on the mental and intellectual honesty you are developing by admitting you are wrong, this will help you be more correct in the future

3. start arguing your incorrect point in increasingly outrageous and silly ways as to make it clear to the other person you recognize the sillyness of your position in a humorous way

2. pretend you had misheard something earlier and that this was the source of the disagreement, a simple misunerstanding, then act as if you actually agreed with the other person all along

1. simply let enough time pass so that you are no longer emotionally invested in the argument

[thecourtofinfestation]

7. think about how much better and stronger you are than all the people who refuse to admit their wrongness. It's so frustrating when the other person in an argument refuses to listen to reason despite all evidence, so you admitting when you are wrong will reflect really well on you and they will think of you as a better person for it.

[homosexualslug]

beautiful conversations happening on twitter

[stjohnstarling]

One little trick that will save you a lot of grief online is to pause whenever a post starts talking about attitudes “we” need to have, and ask yourself, who is “we?” Who is this post addressing, and is it a coherent group of people? Because almost every time, it will turn out that the person is either addressing their social circle (which you are not a member of) or a vague and numinous group somewhere between everyone on tumblr and all of society (not a real group of people.) Then you can ignore the post and move on with your day.

[stjohnstarling]

@ducktoothcollection Exactly.

[snorlaxatives]

good morning cruel world

[the-little-engine-that-couldnt]

Don’t you mean goodbye?

[snorlaxatives]

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

[desultory-suggestions]

It's okay to be scraping by. Even if you would rather be doing better, even if you technically could be doing better. Sometimes the weight of things just pushes us down. Keep moving forward, even if is slow. In time you will be back where you want to be.

[borderlinereminders]

You aren't too broken to recover. You aren't a lost cause. You can absolutely find happiness. You can absolutely learn to do better for you and your loved ones. It isn't too late.