[fairycosmos]

sorry for being cringe i was trying to have a human experience

[digitalmyyth]

What is forcefem question

[ozempicofficial]

[fanfic-chan]

Y'all ever think of what the person responsible for Rocky's voice bank must've felt when those videos finally got to earth? Imagine doing a voice acting gig for a bank voice on a computer or whatever that you eventually completely forget about, only for it to one day come back to you when the FIRST intellectual alien lifeform that a human being has ever met decides to use it as their chosen voice. The mild horror. The exhilaration. The emotional punch. This is it. This is your magnum opus. You have given a human voice to a sentient rock and it will NEVER get better than this. Also, they picked you over MERYL STREEP?!?!

[echointhewindwind]

Being an Eridian scientist has to be so funny. You train your entire life as a biologist, becoming specialized in your field, probably giving lectures or educational speeches to other Eridians, and then the star savior Rocky comes home with his weird pet dog. Your job is now to cultivate food so the weird dog who is the age of average baby doesn’t die. The dog also saved the stars. Your job is making dog food out of the dog. You also learn that you and the dog have the same job. You are the happiest scientist on Erid.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

The dog knows more about how the universe works than anybody else on your planet. The dog understands how relativity works and how the universe began. The dog has access to complex machines that can store and process massive amounts of information, launching your society into a new age of scientific and technological advancement.

You later find out that these machines were originally invented because the dog's species has a memory like a sieve and struggles with primary school level maths.

[hellallamerican]

a ton of people have unexpectedly followed me over the last 2 days so here is my rent-lowering gunshot:

the american south is the most racially diverse and poorest region of the united states, and any political sentiment that treats the south is stupid or expendable is inherently racist and classist. a lot of y'all are racist and classist. the south is also the heart of american culture. argue with a wall. you cannot deny that everybody in the entire world does not emulate artists from atlanta. there is vested interest in keeping the south poor and uneducated BECAUSE this is the most racially diverse region in this country. if you actually give a fuck about progress, you would fight for the south, not mock us.

[spymasterofficial]

I could defeat any amount of people

[hi-its-the-blackmold]

Blank google doc staring me down rn, cracking my knuckles, cus I can’t resist this idea.

No slash, no ship, non sexual, just to be funny — Grace, conversing w Rocky and the Eridian science team, has to give a group of aliens “the talk” on periods, pregnancy, and birth. And that shit is a fucking nightmare to HUMANS. And we all gotta encounter it in normal society. I need Rocky telling Grace that live birth is perhaps the most fucking horrific things he’s ever fucking heard of. On a planet with as much pressure in the atmosphere as Erid, the likelihood of live birth evolving commonly seems very low. Rare, if not unheard of.

I just think it would be hysterical and I will be the fanfiction author I want to see in the world

“Human cervix must expand to push out human child the size of fucking WHAT?!?!”

Grave explaining that in order to walk upright humans have to basically give birth prematurely to completely helpless infants and rocky is horrified.

I think eridians would probably hatch relatively able to move around and do stuff on their own to a certain extent like reptiles or something so the idea of a human baby that can’t do anything by itself is just 😭… like, YIKES.

Just wait till I tell these mfs about twins and triplets, etc. I’m making it coltland twins au so Ryland can be like, “Oh yeah actually I’m a twin—” “What is twin, question?” “…alright, here we go, but remember, YOU asked!”

Rocky starts having waking nightmares (cus he doesn’t actually dream) of mpreg Grace LMAO:

“Adrian, Grace once mentioned to Rocky that Grace is ‘asexual’ human, according to human science text, term means Grace can reproduce by self. Rocky is terrified one day Grace going to asexually reproduce and then die cus piece of shit human body has to expel baby with big ass skull the size of human’s ’cantaloupe’ fruit, fruit big as FUCK Adrian, no way Grace survive that we need to convince Grace to ‘tie tubes’ human procedure, please help—“

Behold the creation of my horrible twisted mind. Dark chocolate is just normal chocolate to a twisted fuck like me.

[oneheadtoanother]

[depsidase]

[cloevr]

literally we are not free until all women can go topless the same as dudes

[cloevr]

i hope you witness 1000 breasts

[tsarina-anadyomene]

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

[gsot]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.

[miss-americanbi]

grace you gotta lock in

[fflittermouse]

But what if teams isn’t working?

[dinomoder]

This is the best ad for Project Hail Mary I have ever seen. Like if I was on the fence about watching or reading it, this would convince me to do so.

[minmos]

i hope tumblr users never stop talking about punk music i think we deserve this

[fuckhugeoctopus]

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens