things & stuff

sup i like cats and pretty things

[lamignonette]

[gagosianwife-deactivated2019120]

High self-worth is essential as water, sleep, and oxygen. You must believe you deserve space. You must believe you are worth “it”. And then take that a little higher, and add your wildest dreams to this ecosystem. Our thoughts nourish our mind. When we think happy/exciting thoughts, our mind actively searches for these things in our surroundings to reaffirm and validate them. Even if we don’t yet have it, when we think about a big dream or goal, our mind starts pinpointing the opportunities that lead us to achieving these desires. Whenever you feel lost in life, go back to the drawing board of your self-esteem. Build yourself up again, as many times as you need to, even when it feels like you are starting over. Self-love, vibrations and energy is an important priority like sleep, water, and nutrition. Channel your highest self-regard before bed. Just a little reminder: when you’re struggling with a difficult situation, the best thing you can do is INSIST on championing yourself. Do not compromise. Do not falter. You are special.

[sionnualanicheallachain]

Oh, this is excellent.

Where Should Journalists Draw the Line With Fandom?

‘The Pitt’ outcry proves we need clear etiquette in journalism about fandoms.

[emmaklee]

Nishimoto Ryota

a piece of wood carved to fit perfectly into a zippered plastic bag

[demiiwhiffin]

the mortifying ordeal of committing to the bit

[mangled-by-disuse]

in happier pride news i actually found this deeply heartwarming

that's solidarity baybeeee

[lgbtlaughs]

Further context: Durham city council (Reform UK) cut funding and support for Pride. The Durham Miner's Association and other trade unions raised enough money for Durham Pride 2026 to go ahead - a direct call back to when Lesbian and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) raised money for mining communities when Margaret Thatcher seized union funding during the miner strikes of 1984-85.

At the 1985 Labour party meet, the motion to support LGBT rights as a party was passed due to a block vote from mining unions.

Stephen Guy, the chair of the Durham Miners’ Association, said that when it became apparent Durham Pride was under threat, he took it upon himself to “encourage the trade union movement to step up and do the right thing, and stand shoulder to shoulder with the LGBT+ community […] They not only raised funds for us, but came to our communities, uplifted our spirits when they were down, and showed their solidarity.”

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[bayouette]

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[acutecoral]

Some clarifications and an update

[biglawbear]

This person has more emotional intelligence and healthier skills in navigating relationships than most people

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[thatisuseful]

Damn, that's useful

[fluidstatick]

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

[dailymanners]

I feel as though what drives most rude / inconsiderate behavior I experience IRL on a day to day basis comes from a place of having this unearned and unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that aren't actually urgent. I think if more people became aware of this completely unnecessary sense of urgency in situations that actually aren't urgent, it might make co-existing and sharing public spaces with other people a lot easier and more tolerable.

That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.

It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.

I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this, I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was that urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?

Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any noticeable difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?

Does a few extra seconds of time actually justify cruel and unkind behavior towards people you perceive as slightly inconveniencing you?

[purlturtle]

Someone pointed out to me once how a lot of people, when out grocery shopping, amble through the aisles at a leisurely pace, maybe checking out this new product or that tester... But when the time comes to queue for checkout, all of a sudden everyone is super impatient and not leisurely at all.

That fully rewired my brain.

Ever since then I've tried to keep that in mind when I shop. If I'm not hurrying through the store, I'm not gonna be impatient in line for checkout.

[midwinterhunt]

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

[narrettwist]

Homie gonna share this

[tyrannuspitch]

still so fucking weird to go from real life, where a cis man being flamboyant/effeminate/camp is judged like 70+% by how he speaks and carries himself, to online queer communities, which often seem to have no concept of male gender non-conformity that doesn’t involve wearing a skirt

[tyrannuspitch]

i promise you, a man can be fem to the point of being in danger while wearing literally exactly the same thing as a hypermasculine guy. a boring basic black suit. a t shirt and jeans. a UNIFORM. gender conformity is not only about what you wear

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

None of you have watched that heartbreaking scene in The Birdcage where Albert gives up wearing everything he likes to try and blend in for their son’s conservative prospective in-laws and is so awkward and uncomfortable that no one says much until finally he says, defeated, “I know what you’re thinking - dressed like this, I’m even more obvious, aren’t I?” and it shows.

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Here, have your queer heart broken:

This is what I’m talking about. This is still literally how it is in most places in the Midwest if you’re trying to “pass” for straight/cis/whatever.

[netherworldpost]

I cannot begin to describe how hard I cried when I saw this scene the first time and how confused my conservative family was as to why I was crying.

[kinka-juice]

It’s so funny how literally the way a man holds his wrists is an indication of femininity but also people think it’s all about makeup and clothing. But we’re also at a point that if you have a suit that is any color other than black, dark grey, or navy, it’s flamboyant.

Men’s sartorial stylings are so rigidly controlled it’s painful. Tim Gunn here is at the very absolute bleeding edge of “acceptably masculine” here for most cishet men, just for some noticible stripes, patterns, and purple, and that’s before he even moves. This is how restricted it is.

But Trixie Mattel (out of drag here) wearing standard masculine garb is could still be deemed unacceptably feminine for body language alone.

[flameraven]

This is why we talk about “toxic masculinity” – the idea that any expression of emotion besides anger or even wearing colorful clothes is non-masculine and therefore restricted is horrifying. It sucks! Men should be allowed to express themselves outside of a tiny box of acceptable behavior, because they’re, y'know, people, and people have a wide range of expression in the way they like to look and move and act. I honestly feel like it’s gotten worse over the last couple decades, too. If you look at men’s fashions from the 70s and even into the 80s, there’s a lot of style choices that look pretty cringe to us, but…. you also see a lot more color and pattern in suits than you do now. I’m not sure when this started to shift, or if it’s tied in to the increasing lack of color in all consumer products, but it sucks.

[roycohn]

the thing about being a homeschool abolition hardliner is that people always want to come to you with some bullshit sob story about how you hate disabled people because they were bullied for being autistic and homeschooling was so amazing for them. and it's just like well unfortunately homeschooling is also a widespread tool of coercive control in child abuse used by christofascists to raise kids without the tools they need to function in the world so that they will always be afraid, dependent, and unable to think critically and discern right from wrong and truth from lies. so unfortunately i do think this is a situation where in order to prevent enormous harm to untold numbers of children those bullied kids who just don't wanna go to school are going to have to suck it up. (and in reality what i always propose is a more robust system of alternative/magnet public schooling set up for kids who are basically on grade level but who DO struggle to thrive in a mainstream setting, but nobody ever wants to hear that, they just want to guilt you for not thinking anyone who ever gets picked on should just get to stay home and play vidya and do all their lessons on zoom. and it's like honestly i don't think you're having this argument in good faith bc you are very much centering hypothetical discomfort you MIGHT HYPOTHETICALLY have experienced over, again, widespread child abuse and neglect. so.)

[roycohn]

so i watched the netflix documentary about piper rockelle yesterday and i would like to once again humbly suggest that homeschooling be permanently abolished and perhaps even criminalized

[desertmarble]

It’s so frustrating that when there’s an overwhelmingly common and dangerous phenomenon related to something so you say “Hm, seems like a sane and responsible society should ban or regulate this.” And you get hit by a million responses that amount to…

“Oh? [X thing] has a documented extremely negative impact on a large group of people?? And you’re critiquing it? Well I did [x thing] and that horrible thing never happened. I guess you’re just PERSONALLY ATTACKING me.”

“Have you considered the nuanced reality that if something is beneficial to me in any way then everyone who has been deeply harmed by it should simply eat shit? Also if they criticize it it’s because they hate me specifically?”

“What about those of us who actually ENJOY AND LIKE [x thing] and also feel entitled to never have access to something that I like restricted? Hmm? What about us?”

It’s not actually possible to have a functioning society where everyone does whatever they want all the time. You can’t just trust that your populace is going to do the best possible version of everything. I’m absolutely sure there’s a lot of responsible gun owners in the US — unfortunately, the negative societal impact of guns means that in a sane, effective society (which ofc the US isn’t) they’d still be banned. There are some things that are more important than you and what you like and what is beneficial to you. Some things are worse than other things, like objectively worse. Some things are more important than you.

This is the very definition of hyper-individualism. If something is working for you, it must continue. No one else matters. No one’s suffering could ever be more important than your own.

[kokica1]

Love that Ryland Grace is the opposite of so many male protagonist "heroes" in media and yet he's still so incredibly brave, resilient, and strong. That flimsy little science teacher saves the day.

But he also,

Throws fits when things don't go his way. Not a "I'm a bad bitch" destroying everything-type fit, but tossing a trash can, breaking a screen-type fit.

Cries. A lot.

Pleads. He begs.

Doesn't answer the call to action.

Shows weakness. Being a coward and being fearful are two things he defines himself with.

Doesn't end up with the girl. In fact, that girl isn't even interested and he isn't, either.

Cherishes friendship over a romantic plot or something stereotypically brave like, "I'm going to save Rocky so I can save his world." No, he wants to save his friend, first and foremost.

Squeaks. He squeals. He screams, loudly and very high pitched. He whines. He complains. He physically struggles to open a jar. He's clumsy as hell. He makes some of the least graceful noises one can make.

Is not afraid to be the primitive species lowkey.

I love him and everything he stands for as a male protagonist. Men need to know that they can be just like Ryland Grace and still be just as much of a hero and a man.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[nigelgraz]

Today's study