These twooooo :)))
Peter Solarz

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RMH
hello vonnie
Cosmic Funnies

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

shark vs the universe
DEAR READER

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Claire Keane

JVL

★
NASA
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
dirt enthusiast
styofa doing anything
KIROKAZE
todays bird

#extradirty
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@rockabillyrobbie
These twooooo :)))
sonar doodles
Living up to his name ✨️
obi wan kenobi part v + tumblr text posts
Pretty Boys of Smash ☆ phone wallpapers
Nintendo in Mayan Art Style by Sita Navas
Available as prints here
the first person to emerge from Vault 76 into the West Virginia wasteland, seeing the ruins of their former elementary school: it’s familiar
the second person to emerge from Vault 76 into the West Virginia wasteland, seeing a radioactive Mothman fly overhead: but not too familiar
way-hey and up she rises | a jacky faber playlist | [listen]
Being a Musical Account of one Jacky Faber, Fine Lady, Roving Pirate, Fiddler, And Playwright
(Bane of Lt. James Emerson Fletcher and the British Government)
This is the 10th one of these flowers Slash has stolen and brought home.
Here is number 11…
Here’s his third catch of the night. And that second photo is his face right after I told him “People on the internet love your flower catching skills, Mr. Slash!”
Guess what Mr. Slash is up to tonight?
And, he’s back at it again tonight.
He got another one, and he is proud of himself.
He brought in another one tonight. Thank you, Mr. Slash!
He is so beautiful 😭
He’s aware of that, and loves being told that. :P
Sometimes, he will hold my hand when I ask him about the flowers.
He brought these two flowers in last night, and decided to pose for me when I put them near him to take photos.
Plot twist! He brought back a hibiscus tonight instead of the usual ones. He must be feeling more tropical.
He’s back to the normal ones now…
Even when it’s raining, he still decides to go and find these. Good thing for him that whatever breed of cat he is, he has remarkably water-resistant fur!
He had a very busy night while everyone was asleep last night… (Also, if you haven’t seen it, there is a video of him that’s great, too: http://thoughts-of-an-x-factor.tumblr.com/post/164359705193/mr-slash-knows-how-to-get-his-own-cat-treats-out )
He had a busy night while I was watching SummerSlam.
He gave us one more last night, bringing his total from last night to 6! That’s a new one-night record for him!
Mr. Slash’s flower hunting adventure master post keeps on growing.
He was back at it again today.
And two more from last night…
Thank you, Mr. Slash!
Such a good kitty!
He is!
I wish Oreo brought me flowers instead of birds, lizards, mice, and squirrels 😂😂
Mr. Slash even wanted to hold hands after giving me this one. He’s a special cat. :D
He was asleep this morning after bringing me this one last night…
Two more gifts from Mr. Slash tonight.
Please tell Mr. Slash I love him.
Feeling sad? Have a big fluffy kitty bringing flowers to his people.
down the block is a person who is inexplicably losing all the flowers in her garden
@thoughts-of-an-x-factor did you ever find out where Mr. Slash got the flowers from? I’m so curious now!!
Oh! I’ve explained it before, but I know some people haven’t seen the explanation, so here it is: Mr. Slash has made friends with an elderly woman who lives about three houses down from me. He gets the flowers from her garden. They are Camellias, so they grow, and fall off the bush by the handful, and he goes over there at night, and takes every single one from the ground, to bring back to me. So, when I said he was stealing them, it was somewhat inaccurate. It’s actually more like he’s helping an old woman clean her garden up, and giving me gifts at the same time. She knows who he is, and where he comes from, and knows what he does.
This is delightful, and what a beautiful cat he is!
Source
back the fuck up
There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.
did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out
This just keeps getting better
I fucking love history.
ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.
Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.
I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.
If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang
@admiraloblivious we’re finding this movie and watching it asap
Ffffff-
I KNEW ITWAS HIM! WATCH RED CLIFF. WATCH ITTTTTTTT
I love history, I mean, who in the fucking world would think of these ideas today??
STREET SMARTS
Yasha: How’s my breath?
Molly: Ooh, like flowers! How’d you do that?
Yasha: I ate two flowers.
i’m playing a sailor in my new campaign and i love sailor superstitions, so i made a bunch of dnd sailor superstitions/traditions! (some might be weird/bizarre, but a lot of ours are too so i felt it fitting)
having a water genasi on board is good luck, even better if they’re higher ranked (captain, first mate). however, if they’re a prisoner, it’s extremely bad luck for the crew that has them imprisoned.
holy people of sea gods closely follow water genasi in good luck/bad luck.
sailors tend to get tattoos of a land god’s symbol in hopes that if they drown, a land god will get them back safely. however, sea gods find this extremely rude and disrespectful, so sailors have to find ways of hiding the tattoos at all times, whether with magic, clothes, or makeup.
every port city has a shrine or temple to a sea god. the very last thing sailors do before heading out on the ocean and the very first thing they do when they get back on land is pray at one of these places. bigger port cities have special roads for sailors to take.
the only time it’s okay to sing sea shanties on land is if you have a vial of seawater on you. if you don’t have any, sea gods think you’re singing for the land gods instead of themselves. and if they think that, things will turn nasty when you get back to sea.
sailors don’t talk about their families/friends/loved ones while at sea. the sea could get jealous, and try and keep the sailors all to itself–by whatever means necessary.
there are various tattoos one can get for certain accomplishments (ie. defeating a monster, sailing for a certain amount of time/for a certain distance, which port you hail from, etc)
every ship brings a small animal that’s special to a sea god on board (ie a crab). that animal has all priority–in food, in defense, in healing. it’s said that if that animal dies, the rest of the crew will soon follow.
bonus sea shanties:
dwarf and orc shanties have a very steady rhythm and often involve drums–meant to keep rowing easy and sailors focused.
tiefling and elf shanties are melodious and often eerie to hear from another ship–especially in foggy/stormy weather. they’re meant to simulate the sound of the wind, waves, and those who died at sea.
dragonborn and genasi shanties often involved overlapping lyrics and melodies, causing them to sound like the storms out at sea. they’re meant to pay tribute to and appease the gods.
halfling and gnome shanties are cheery and peppy, meant to keep things interesting after monotonous days at sea and to make sure morale is up.
human shanties are as wide and varied as the race itself. they often tell stories–of the crew, of other ships’ adventures, or of history.
@cheesepress
Pokeball Terrariums, by Jo Ko on Etsy
See our ‘Pokemon’ tag
so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???
and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”
Orpheus: So that’s why I need to bring back my wife from your kingdom!
Hades: That’s So sad!
Hades: Can you play despacito?
Jeff Goldblum is somehow even more Jeff Goldblum than you think he is.
That…is the sexiest thing I’ve been made aware of on this day.
Zeus: What is this?
Persephone: Sushi!:D
Artemis: What?!
Aphrodite: It seems very disgusting…
Persephone: Well, it’s rice and…raw fish.
Ares: Wtf?
Athena: Awful…
Persephone: But it’s good. REALLY!
Hades: If you say so…