I'm really hoping a couple of my American followers are happy to engage with ek on this topic as I know it can be one that gets a lot of people worked up (although given that most of you guys came to me through jumblr, I like to think you understand nuance).
Now I live in the UK and our police force have plenty of their own issues (if you have seen the news out of the UK recently, you'll be fully aware of yet another scandal) but I have always found the whole ACAB thing very difficult to stomach and I think I've worked out why.
It feels like yet another jargon slang word thrown around by, again, people who want to show that they are Good and Virtuous and On The Right Side Of History without having to do any work or actually put any thought into the fact society is complex. I'm very aware of the systemic racism within the police in US society but the issue I have realised I see from the ACAB crowd is a refusal to engage with what happens if there is no police.
It would be a joy to live in a society where no one commited crime and everyone loved happily together however this is the real world and we all know that this is simply not how it works (and boy oh boy am I familiar with being on the recieving end of death threats and hate speech). So if we had no cops, there would be no one to stop someone wandering into my house, stabbing me and stealing my stuff - other than me of course and I would obviously fight back. There would be no one to enforce the rules of society unless suddenly we went back to mob rule where different groups run protection rackets. Personally, rather than paying some mafioso to keep me safe, I'd prefer to pay a centralised group who are accountable to the entirety of society and have to enforce our shared laws rather than inflict their own personal laws on us. But this is just recreating the police.
So surely, if you want to live in an actual functioning society, you do actually need a police force and the refusal to acknowledge that from many in the ACAB crowd seems completely unhelpful to the desire to actually improve the police.
But then again, this comes from the point of view of a Brit and I know our relationship to the police is very different to that in the US which is why I'd hugely appreciate it if someone of jynUS followers would be willing to share their views/experience on the topic?
So as an American Jew, I feel like I have a somewhat nuanced view here.
On the one hand, the system is broken. US police are trained to think everyone is trying to kill them in a way that makes them have twitchy trigger fingers, and there's a lot of racism/sexism/etc. going on there in a way that's incredibly disturbing. The number of US police who are perpetrators of domestic violence is, frankly, disturbingly high. The number of white supremacists is worse.
So even if we need an institution like the police, it really has to be torn down and completely rebuilt. And it certainly doesn't need to do all its doing. A lot of cases would be much better served by social workers than cops.
On the other hand, we *do* need an institution run by the government that's dedicated to keep people safe, and that's basically what the police are meant to do...at least in the best of worlds.
And I think this is where my experience as a Jew comes into play -- I grew up with cops protecting us, considering how risky it is just being Jewish in America, let alone doing something like going to a synagogue, a known Jewish location, on major Jewish holidays, which are known times for a lot of Jews to gather. At my synagogue, you can literally see the police cars' flashing lights through the stained glass windows during every major service, because the risk of someone attacking the building is just that high that there's cops sitting directly outside it the entire time.
So unlike a lot of US liberals, I do see the good the police can do.
Ultimately, I think we do need police (or, as you say, something very similar), but we also need a serious reckoning with the current state of US police. So yeah. There's no easy answers here, but black and white thinking in either direction (both ACAB and "the police are always there to help you!") isn't helpful.
project hail mary is a touching and poignant film that leaves you asking questions about humanity like, "wow what if all mainstream media was genuinely good" and "what if book adaptions actually gave a shit about the book in question" and "what if studios hired actors that could actually act, and then let them get a lil wacky with it"
Coworker who had to miss the staff meeting, five minutes after said meeting: "Hey, what happened at the staff meeting?"
Me, who took notes at the staff meeting: "...Stuff?"
love the olympic figure skating gala bc ur gonna get everything. EVERYTHING. inexplicable sheets. props. more backflips. broadway programs. lady gaga programs. kpop demon hunter program complete with a costume change. seventeen year olds having the best time of their life radiating so much joy it could power a nation. crying your eyes out to kaori sakamoto's final olympic skate. italian pairs team doing the macarena and then the most unhinged lifts you've ever seen in your life while cotton eyed joe is BLASTING. the spanish ice dance team dressed up in football/soccer uniforms and threw signed soccer balls into the crowd. deadpool and the guy from the mortal kombat program (there was a mortal kombat program) beat up a panda on ice. the panda did a triple loop. jackie chan was there. the french were boring. what more could you want
jewish geography is wild, someone just figured out the exact school I attended after I vaguely alluded to which stream of judaism and what area of the world I grew up in. Wtf
I met a dude at a small shabbat dinner at someone's house a few weeks ago.
His dad is the same age as my dad, and both of our dad's grew up in the same city in South Africa. They knew each other. We all live in New Zealand now.
I have a lot of wild-ass family stories that I allude to only vaguely, and it's not to protect relatives who've been dead for decades. It's because I just know that I'd wind up doxxing myself. Somebody on Jumblr would know what I'm talking about.
I randomly ran into someone I knew from Tumblr at a Sukkos event with my then-chosson, who knew said Tumblr person IRL from a place over a thousand miles away.
Someone once recognized me at a Jewish Pride event from my Tumblr, not because I posted my face or full name on Tumblr, but because I had posted my Pride outfit lmfao
Some of my craziest offline Jewish geography moments:
-We were rafting in Yellowstone and there was a couple in the raft with us and we got talking and it turns out that the husband was in the same graduating class in college as my uncle and knew him from Hillel.
-The father in a family that is now close friends with my family was at my little brother's Shalom Zachar at the hospital chapel because his son was born a day or so apart from my brother at the same hospital in Israel, and then that family and my family ended up independently moving to the US and eventually winding up in the same city going to the same shul, and my brother and that son are now close friends.
-A childhood best friend of mine's family was close friends with my cousin's mom's side of the family (my cousin's parents divorced) and we did not know this until we were talking about my cousins and she recognized the name.
-I go to the same shul as my distant cousin. His grandfather was my great-great-grandfather's brother. I had recognized his name from doing genealogy research, and the age matched up so I awkwardly messaged him like "hey I promise I'm not a stalker but was your grandfather's name [redacted]?" Our family did not originate in this city, both branches ended up independently moving there at different times.
One of my high school friends came to visit me during freshman year of college. After ten minutes of chatting with my roommate, we discovered that high school friend regularly babysat for roommate's cousins.
Last month we were at my cousin's wedding, and my sister noticed a woman looking at her repeatedly in a "I think I recognize her" way. Upon chatting, they realized the two of them had gone to camp together in the late 90s and, 25 years later, ran into each other at a wedding where we were the bride's first cousins and the other woman was the groom's first cousin.
I have been on Facebook looking at one cousin's photos (she and her husband had gone to a wedding) and, in the background of the photo, spotted a completely unrelated cousin (other side of the family) who was at the same wedding.
My sister ran into my dad's first cousin's widow in an airport and they recognized each other because of the names. I'm not sure they'd ever met before that time.
Okay, I will preface this with the GIGANTIC disclaimer that I promise I know how this looks, and I *swear* this is not personally motivated:
Hey everyone, it looks like there's some hinky stuff going on with LiveJournal in a way where it might be shutting down relatively soon -- and if not, who knows what will happen to it?
Obviously most of us aren't active users there right now, but a lot of us were active users there at some point, so... if you want to save your blog, this thread includes a few ways on how to do it, as well as a lot more detail on exactly what's going on.
(We also suggest screengrabbing or saving the page of any fics that you care about that are based there, as well as anything else you might have bookmarked.)
Just in general, as a reminder, despite what the old adage is: the internet is not forever. So back up anything you care about!
Note: edited to add screengrabs below the cut in case anyone doesn't want to click on the link.
I think the fun part about fake Jewish names is that there all so real. Like it’s impossible to come up with a Jewish character who also isn’t just literally a real person from Teaneck who I’m probably related to
You're safer using names like David Levy and Sarah Cohen. Then you can legitimately say that they're not based on real people, because everyone knows at least five people with those names.
Also fake synagogues are easy to do as well : Beth Shalom, Beth El, Beth Israel. You can’t say it was based on a specific congregation because like those names make up like 90% of synagogues.
Meeting up with Shira Schwartz and Chana Levine at the Polish Shul and then walking to Shaarei Tzedek to see if David Levy and Sarah Cohen are ready to go.
I vote for Temple Israel, we have at least *eight* within a two hour drive of me right this second, including Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform.
Also my cousin David Cohen once lost his ID at the Jewish Community Center in Manhattan. Generally they could look you up by name if they lost your ID, but, uh... David Cohen. Yeah, they needed a bunch more info with him.
(I have three cousins David and two uncles Dave. There's two Dans, a Danny, and a Danielle in my family. There's also Leah [pronounced Lee-uh] and Leah [pronounced Lay-uh], two Benjamins who both go by Benjy [though they spell it differently], two Rachels [I'm not named Rachel partially because my second cousin Rachel is two years older than me and my first cousin Rachel is one year older than me and my parents went "nope, we don't need a third Rachel" and scratched it off their potential names list], and one time we managed to have every single patriarch and matriarch represented at a single Passover Seder, either in first or middle names. I am "the other Rose [last name]." That's just in my *family*. Name duplication is absolutely a thing.)
hello and welcome to year six (!) of my Very Official ratings of various chanukah menorabilia I've found across the internet this year! fear not I have selected only the very worst best for you. prepare your eyeballs.
sure I guess the number of menorah branches is optional. so is accurate hebrew on dreidels. for the one holiday that involves neither wine nor torah readings those sure do pop up a lot. 5/10 glad to be back in the land of the boob donuts
welcome to whose dreidel is it anyway where the rules are made up and the letters don't matter. I'm going to wipe my mouth on this napkin so I can stop looking at it. which is a shame because otherwise this would be very cute. 4/10 hebrew is not some ancient indecipherable writing on a cavewall somewhere in france
I'll allow the non-kosher menorah for the sake of the wholesome interfaith dogs. this relationship won't last long since that wooden door Will be catching fire in the next few minutes. 6/10 even santa looks concerned
I'm a sucker for funky socks and these are definitely fun. though I'm not sure what challah is doing there. or the wine. or the torahs. or the- wait.
try to use a honey dipper to fill your oil menorah and see how far that gets you. now you're sticky AND a fire hazard. 6/10 did you know every jewish holiday is actually also every jewish holiday
I think my eyes are bleeding. I'm retconning this motherfucker: the matzah is obviously there in case the reindeer gets hungry. the torah is there because he's converting. the christmas trees are just his natural environment. -613/10 I'm shocked the menorah is kosher but considering everything else they probably stumbled upon that by accident.
you may have heard of the four sons of passover but have you met the four geese of chanukah? Their names are Menorah, Dreidel, Latke, and Gentile Ally. 8/10 the letters on that dreidel are just the sounds you make when you cough
they called this Hanukkah Hank but I just call it a hate crime. even his kippah knows what it's really meant to be. no self-respecting inflatable jewish character would have a detached mustache. 4/10 there's a chabad rabbi somewhere who would love this
okay can we have woodland creatures chanukah every year please. I feel at peace just looking at this. the gazelle jumping for joy is how it feels to nat20 three gimmels in a row during dreidel. this is something I didn't even know I needed in my life. 10/10 nature therapy works every time
Lighting the first Hanukkah candle tonight feels more necessary than ever.
I illustrated this Jewish woman with her physical eyes closed because we all feel that deep need to shut out the cruelty and the noise of the world right now just to find a moment of internal peace. But I made sure her third eye was wide open because we must stay fully awakened to the unshakeable strength we carry.
That open eye represents the intuition and power that has kept our people alive for generations. It feels like there is a constant pressure trying to make us feel small or afraid to be visibly Jewish, but the entire story of Hanukkah is about the refusal to disappear when forces try to suppress us. We have always been a people who find light even when it seems impossible.
The smoke rising in this piece is a reminder that our spirit always ascends and endures no matter how hard others try to push it down. We cannot stop celebrating just because there is darkness out there, since Jewish joy is the ultimate form of resistance. We have to be prouder and stronger than ever to show that we aren’t going anywhere. I hope you feel that ancient power tonight.
You know, I’m not Jewish, but I really think I and my fellow non-Jews need to take a step back, notice that basically every Jewish holiday these days opens with antisemitic violence and Jews being attacked or killed, and realize that it’s not only a serious issue but that it’s our issue to fix.
Tag your favorites. BUT specifically I'm looking fkr art that isn't tied to fandom. Look when I'm in a fandom i enjoy fandom art for my fandom. But I'm not in a fandom. And that's not what I'm looking for. Also both traditional and digital are equally fine.
@ketubahring (Jewish art), @artist-ellen (some fandom but also various other series, including historical mermaids and food-based clothing -- currently posting a Norse Goddesses series). Other than that I think most of the art blogs I follow are either fandom-based or inactive.
Do you also want comics? I follow a bunch of those too.
Time for the 2025 Miss Universe National Costume competition! I hope you like sexy birds, rhinestones, and drag for extremely fancy cis women.
Let's get started!
Miss Albania is a sexy bird inspired by the Albanian flag, which is as close to generic as this competition ever gets. Points for construction and ease of wear, though.
Without the mural, Miss Angola's costume reads more 'ice queen' than 'waterfall.' Unfortunately I still think no costume has ever been improved by adding a giant mural, especially because they're never very well-rendered.
Miss Argentina's costume is inspired by a legendary Argentinian musician. Unfortunately those guitars wobble like crazy in motion, or this would be a solid 7/10.
Miss Armenia is dressed as A Specific Rock Formation In Armenia. Unclear on why the hat and pomegranate (?) prop were necessary, although without them this is dangerous close to just being an evening gown with shoulder pads.
Miss Aruba is a sparkly Sea Queen with a removable skirt. Groundbreaking.
Once again Miss Australia is just wearing a dress. This one is Uluru-inspired and more interestingly structural than the past several years of dresses, but frankly that is not going to cut it at this point.
Miss Bahamas has chosen "sexy pirate" and like. mission accomplised! that sure is a sexy pirate costume!
Miss Bangladesh is wearing a lovely sari, and I do like the way her giant lotus flower unfolded from around her on stage. This might be too tasteful for this competition, sadly, which feels like a weird thing to say about a woman wearing 15 pounds of gold jewelry.
It was shockingly difficult to get decent pictures of some of these outfits. There's no complete gallery anywhere I could find. I had to resort to combing random Instagrams to get something better than a blurry youtube screengrab, thereby ruining my algorithm for the forseeable future. I'm mentioning this now because Miss Belarus is wearing a flag gown with a wheat hat, which is boring.
This is not the first time Miss Belgium has been saddled with a poorly-made, cheap-looking costume at this competition, but oof this is a bad one. Nothing about it says 'swan,' the alleged inspiration. The parasol and the knee-highs are only adding to the 'girl at her first Lolita meetup who bought her whole coord from Amazon' vibe. Big yikes.
Miss Belize's toucan is so big that it's kind of wearing her, rather than the other way around. She's also smiling in a particular "I don't want to be wearing this' way that should be very familiar to fans of this competition.
Miss Bolivia does seem to be enjoying her costume! I could note that the headdress is very wobbly in motion and I generally disapprove of giant arm drapes, but you know what? I'm going to let her have this.
Is Miss Bonaire's Sea Queen doing anything new? Not really, no, but it's lavishly blinged-out and well-designed, nothing wobbles or tilts when she walks in it, and I like the octopus.
Miss Botswana's zebra gown is kind of giving Cruella de Ville, especially from the back.
Miss Brazil made the bold choice to put 1 billion sequins on a Virgin Mary costume. I guess it's not technically Sexy Virgin Mary because she's not showing much skin but like. c'mon.
Oh yikes. This is especially upsetting because last year Miss British Virgin Islands had such a genuinely clever and charming costume, and now we have this mess. Really just combining all my least favorite things -- arm drapes, bad murals, Just a Dress -- into one look.
Miss Bulgaria's rose-themed costume is visually impressive, but unfortunately it did not hold up In motion. She was visibly struggling to keep her balance, the rose 'wings' were drooping severely on one side, and she kept shedding feathers on stage.
This is Cabo Verde's first time being included in Miss Universe, and she seemed really excited about it, so I'm going to suggest she adjust her headdress slightly and move on.
Miss Cambodia is wearing vaguely historical gold and carrying a heavily-rhinestoned traditional string instrument, which is not quite voting Present but still kind of a safe choice. Insane amount of nose contour, though. She needs to have a talk with he makeup artist.
Miss Canada seems a little embarrassed about her maple leaf butterfly look. Which is fair.
On the one hand, Miss Cayman Islands was clearly struggling to walk in this costume. On the other hand, giant manta ray puppet. Tough call.
I do like Miss Chile's Tribute to Torres del Paine National Park, and I'm delighted to see a non-Scandinavian country getting in on the Snow Queen action, but the mural panels are never, ever going to improve a costume. Please stop doing this.
Normally I would be more critical of Miss China for veering so close to Just An Evening Gown territory, but she made the sleeve ruffles undulate in a really cool way that you need to see in motion to appreciate.
Miss Colombia's skirt is made of tragically cheap-looking fabric, and the bodice kind of looks like it's giving you the side-eye. Unfortunately this is giving 'intermediate-level cosplay' in terms of build quality.
I do love to see an ambitiously weird silhouette, but I'm afraid whoever built Miss Costa Rica's costume was not quite up to the task. There's a lot of wobbling and the train is badly wrinkled. I appreciate the attempt, though.
Okay. I need a lunch break, and I'm only through 25 of the 100+ costumes, so I will be back with more in a bit!
Miss Cote D'Ivoire's costume is beautifully made and does a great job of combining traditional textiles with bling, and the wings are well-balanced and well-built. If I have any critique, it's that we should maybe all take a minute and ask ourselves whether we want to place an animal-head-shaped decorative element over the contestant's chest or groin area. In my opinion, the answer should almost always be "no."
Miss Croatia Is allegedly wearing a "tribute to the Adriatic Sea" but it's mostly conveying Space Empress to me.
This photo caught Miss Cuba in a moment of Hostage Face but she did seem to be mostly enjoying herself in the video. I think she should have probably committed to either the musical instruments or the dominos, but this is a fun look overall.
Things I do not love about Miss Curacao's costume, in order from least to most troubling: 1. There is a blue-and-yellow color palette and a pink-and-purple color pallette and they are locked in mortal combat for control of this dress. 2. The hem mural. We have discussed this. No Murals. 3. Why did you attach half a dozen deeply haunted-looking baby dolls to your outfit. This was a bad call. I didn't think "no haunted dolls" was something I needed to tell the Miss Universe National Costume team, but here we are.
Miss Czech Republic does look like a minor deity invented by cottagecore Tiktok witches, but that's not a criticism. I think this slaps actually. Her weird tinsel deer helmet is great. I would like to see a froth of petticoats filling in the hollow hoop skirt, and that is my only criticism.
Poor Miss DRC got introduced as "Miss Denmark" and had to stand there doing an awkward video game character creation screen dance for a solid 30 second until someone whispered a correction to the announcer. I also wish her team had chosen slightly less shiny metallic fabrics, because they show every single divot and wrinkle. She does win Widest Wingspan for sure!
And here's the actual Miss Denmark, doing a much better job at conveying Sexy Swan than poor Miss Belgium. Still kinda basic, though.
Oh this is fun! We haven't had a good Giant Flower in a while. Miss Dominican Republic can be proud of this one.
Not only is Miss Ecuador dressed as a Sexy Blue-Footed Booby, but she also looks like a JRPG boss and her mask is giving me Dark Crystal vibes. This is impeccable. No notes.
I tried so hard to hold back the "biblically accurate Miss Egypt" joke that my brain instantly leapt to. I was not successful.
Yes, I know that Miss El Salvador is wearing her actual traditional folk costume, and technically that is what the National Costume competition is for. In practice, though, no it isn't and this is boring.
Miss Equatorial Guinea's costume has lots of texture and detail, which I like, and a photorealistic scowling gorilla face, which I do not like. Congrats on getting to go barefoot though.
More countries should follow Miss Estonia's lead and let a furry design their costumes. For real though, this fucks severely and it's well-built enough that she could move around in it easily without anything wobbling or tilting.
Miss Finland's crown and pauldron deserve better than this prom dress, I'm sorry to say.
Cyberpunk Joan of Arc is a great look. Miss France only needs to swap out the flag for a cool light-up sword to achieve perfection.
Today I learned that Ghana has over 800 species of butterfly! That's neat. Please convey that information with a better-designed costume next year.
Oh this is embarrassing. Miss Great Britain's Tribute To My Fair Lady is a very sweet concept, but 1) her white gown only vaguely resembles Eliza's, is not super well made, and has an unecessary boob cutout, and 2) after transforming onstage she had to awkwardly wheel her flower cart away. Also I'm not sure if she fell down as part of the bit or if that was a real stumble and she covered it well.
A special award goes to the contestant who obviously had no help from her parents: Miss Greece!
Miss Guadeloupe was clearly enjoying her Tribute To The Pink Conch Pearl, and good for her! I think maybe they should not have used white pearls on the costume though.
I'm not clear on how Miss Guatemala's costume is a Tribute To One Specific City In Guatemala, but I would watch a magical girl anime about her.
Miss Guinea brought an entire parade float onstage with her, but she nailed "mining-themed Power Rangers villain" so well that she genuinely didn't need it.
Gliding past the obligatory "girl, you're on fire" jokes to point out that Miss Guyana's costume makes it clear how much it elevates a costume when you use better-quality materials and fabrics with some texture. I love this. (The headdress is a little droopy though.)
Miss Haiti, walking right up to the line between Sexy Bird Costume and That's A Furry.
Miss Honduras is clearly having a great time in her baton twirler costume. I love the cartoonishly exaggerated pauldrons.
Miss Hong Kong appears nearly as often as Miss Australia in the Just An Evening Gown Hall Of Shame. Do better, ladies.
Having said that: you can do worse than Just An Evening Gown, as Miss Hungary demonstrates with Just A Cocktail Dress With Detachable Train.
Very excited that Miss India is not just wearing a fancy sari yet again! Also kind of delighted that this is a Tribute To The Buddha Achieving Enlightement. In the Miss Universe Pageant. I love the outfit but you are not escaping samsara like this, Miss India.
Miss Indonesia, your props and your headdress cannot fool me! That is just an evening gown! I can still tell! Go sit in the corner with Hong Kong and Australia and think about what you've done.
It's possible that I don't know enough about Mesopotamian history to understand Miss Iraq's Tribute To The Ishtar Gate. I'm okay with that. It's big and gold and sparkly. Miss Iraq understood the assignment.
Just hit the image limit, so I'm taking another snack break. Back soon!
It was impossible to find a decent photo of Miss Ireland's Tribute To Gráinne O'Malley, possibly due to embarrassment on the part of everyone involved. If you set me loose at the Maryland Rennaissance Festival for 45 minutes I could recreate this costume down to the last detail. Also she dropped her sword while trying to twirl it.
This is just an evening gown, but Miss Israel's costume was so bad last year that it's still kind of a relief.
Miss Italy is enjoyably whimsical, but I will admit that I liked last year's costume better.
Miss Jamaica's costume has a whole list of inspirations that might be more apparent to other Jamaicans, but I'm not seeing "historic market" or "ingredients of a national dish" tbh. However, it incorporates lots of vital Miss Universe national costume elements like 1) giant flowers 2) big hat 3) sparkly so it's doing fine anyway.
Miss Japan's transforming kimono-to-crane costume did a great job avoiding most of the common pitfalls of transforming costumes -- she didn't have to leave any costume elements on the ground behind her, both the before and after looked good, she could move in it, and the transformation was smooth. Plus I don't think she shed a single feather.
Miss Kazakhstan's gown is made of traditional yurt materials and she nearly tripped on the hem. At no point were the tulip boobs explained.
I think this is the first time since I started doing these writeups that Miss Korea has worn anything other than a fancy hanbok. I am thrilled that we're breaking the streak with Kpop Demon Hunters cosplay. Genuinely so so happy for her.
Miss Kosovo votes Present.
Miss Kyrgyzstan is a Sexy Golden Eagle. I appreciate that they stuck pretty close to the correct color palette for the real bird, and I like her boots.
Miss Laos is impressively detailed, but her giant flower had a wonky unfolding mechanism onstage and tbh I can't escape the impression that her boobs are making an angry owl face. This just feels like a problem that should have been avoidable.
Sorry, Miss Lebanon. Your bodice fits poorly and your skirt is basic.
Personally I think having an allegedly phoenix-themed gown without any sort of transforming element should earn Miss Macau banishment to the Evening Gown Punishment Corner with Hong Kong, Australia, et al.
Could not for the life of me find a decent photo of Miss Malaysia's costume from the actual pageant, so we're using this one. It has a lot of nice details! I would like to see shoes that match better, is all.
Miss Malta's costume is allegedly inspired by their national bird. I call bullshit.
Miss Martinique is a Sexy Calla Lily. Which, yeah, I guess she is.
You can't fool me, Miss Mauritius. I can still tell that's just an evening gown no matter how much stuff you wear on your head.
Same goes for you, Miss Mayotte. No matter how much I like a cape. Also if you have to hold your hat in place on your head the whole time you should maybe not wear that hat.
Miss Mexico, you are such a relief after all those gowns that I am willing to overlook the way your giant flower was flapping around all over the place.
This is Miss Universe Latina, which I don't think I knew was a thing? Or that she competes in original flavor Miss Universe? Anyway this claims to be monarch butterfly inspired but it's kind of. um. blue? for that.
Miss Moldova is wearing a very well-thought-out and tasteful attempt at reinterpreting traditional folk costume with a high-fashion silhouette. Unfortunately she is in the Twelve-Foot Sequined Wingspan competition.
Miss Myanmar is in the same competition as Miss Moldova, but that's not what we're all here for. Where, I ask you, is the whimsy? Where is the chutzpah?
There it is. Thank you, Miss Namibia. I'm sorry I couldn't find a decent picture of your costume in motion from the pageant, and also I wish they hadn't made you carry a big unnecessary fabric mural onstage.
By now I think there should be some lessons that Miss Universe national costume designers should not need to relearn, like "don't cheap out on materials" and "some design elements will look weird when placed directly over the crotch." Sadly Miss Nepal's team may need to hear them one more time.
Oh this is a breath of fresh air. Miss Netherlands is wearing a Tribute To Van Gogh's Almond Blossoms and she's doing a great job. Love this. May add this to my all-time top 10.
Miss New Zealand's Tribute To Lake Tekapo (And Its Flowers) has lots of layering and detail. Its shape and construction are enjoyably unconventional, keeping her safely out of the Just A Gown Shame Corner. Also it's been ages since we had a recycled-materials gown!
Really enjoying the details on Biblically Accurate Miss Nicaragua. (yes I already made that joke. there are 122 of these things. leave me alone.)
Miss Nigeria has the rare costume that actually looks better in photos than in motion. In the video you can tell that she can barely walk and it's not tailored to her shape very well.
Miss Norway's infamous salmon fit! Upon reflection I think I wish she had worn a salmon-colored bodysuit with more beading, but this Is so good conceptually that I love it regardless.
Miss Pakistan is wearing an absolutely stunning lehenga, it looks incredible on her, and I'm thrilled to see a contestant who's not stick thin. However. This is not the 'grace and class' portion of the competition. This is where the rejected Rupaul's Drag Race costume concepts go.
Miss Palestine, I'm really sorry but this is also just an evening gown. That said, your train has maybe the only well-executed mural I've ever seen in this competition.
And there goes the image limit again. Back with more in a bit.
Miss Panama's costume is wider than she is tall and covered in gold, feathers, and rhinestones, which is such a relief at this point.
I'm not getting 'firefly' from Miss Paraguay's costume at all, but at least it's huge and unwieldy and could probably justify a 'biblically accurate Miss Paraguay' joke. Ooh, and parts of it light up.
Miss Peru is Sexy Mount Huascarán. Thrilled to see another South American Snow Queen but this does feel like a bit of a stretch. I recognize that Sexy Strong As Fuck Ice Mummy would be inappropriate on any number of levels, though.
Miss Phillipines, I know I can always count on you to go super fucking hard in this competition. Thank you for your service, and for this enormous gown.
Sigh. To the Gown Shame Corner with you, Miss Poland. I miss last year's Sexy Salt Mine.
I like many aspects of Portugal's Sexy Carnation Revolution costume, and the camo netting train is hilarious, but I wish her shorts matched her boots better.
Time for this year's Costume That Lets The Contestant Show Off That She Can Dance En Pointe. Miss Puerto Rico is killing it, actually. I love this.
Eh. This is mid. Sorry, Miss Romania. I do feel like a bare minimum requirement should be 'no off-the-rack shoes.'
This is a prom dress from the late 90s, and frankly Buffy Summers wore it better. Shame Corner, Miss Russia.
The 'inspired by' flavor text is a bunch of nonsense, but Miss Rwanda is wearing a giant honeycomb paper ball and I'm almost as delighted by it as she is. Great work.
Miss Saint Lucia is a rosebush Entwife and I'm enjoying it tbh.
I think I would like Miss Senegal's costume more without the flag-lined fur cape. Especially without the truly disquieting face on the back of that thing.
Miss Serbia demonstrates what you need to do to get a passing grade from me while still wearing something that is, technically, just a gown. I might be biased towards this because it has a train on it and it looks like the TARDIS exploding. I'm fine with that.
I appreciate that Miss Singapore chose some lovely fabrics, but anything you could conceivably wear as real clothes in public in the daytime should be disqualifying here.
Really enjoying Miss Slovakia's Tribute To Horse Girls -- love the color palette, love 90% of the details. The bare cage crinoline I could do without, though -- either add a high-low skirt over it, or lose the whole thing.
Miss Slovenia is embarrassing herself and also me with this college-Halloween-party-level sexy bee. I'm not even going to capitalize it. She hasn't earned the privilege.
I like Miss South Africa's costume on a conceptual level and she's got great accessories, but this is another 'where is the chutzpah' one for me.
Miss Spain is a sexy endangered Canarian houbara bird, which, sure! She is wearing bright yellow swimsuit bottoms as a base layer and I think that was not the best choice maybe.
Poor Miss Sri Lanka had to wheel this enormous gold teapot onstage; unlike most parade-float costumes, it does not seem to unhinge to let her out and I'm kind of curious about how she got in there in the first place. At no point did we see any of her body below the elbows; she could be wearing sweatpants for all I know. Good for her if she is.
Miss Sweden my beloved!!! This Tribute To Abba is a all-time fave for me. Talk about chutzpah. Talk about drag! Future Miss USAs, take note. I need one of you to step it up to at least this with a Tribute To Dolly Parton. You could probably even borrow Miss Sweden's wig for it.
The backpiece on Miss Switzerland's Tribute To Swiss Watchmaking is tilting dangerously to one side, a failure of engineering that is, frankly, not very Swiss of her.
Miss Tanzania, showing us all how Sexy Bee looks when done correctly. Miss Slovenia, take notes.
The competition is held in Thailand this year, so I'm sure Miss Thailand was under a lot of pressure. While "vaguely historical gold armor" is not pushing any envelopes, this is at least ornate as fuck.
Miss Trinidad and Tobago has a very ornate costume, complete with a giant decoy head to confuse predators.
Miss Turkey got my memo about some things being too tasteful for this competition; unfortunately, she decided to just crop the under-layer of her gown to mini length and called it good.
Biblically Accurate Miss Turks and Caicos looked like she was struggling under the weight of this costume, but I do think the pelican puppets made it worth the effort.
Miss Ukraine is a Sexy Dove Of Peace (who moonlights as a JRPG boss probably) and I love everything about it except the unecessary prop globe and the dove placement location. We've talked about this, ladies.
Miss UAE is wearing actual regional cultural dress, and this is genuinely the best image I could find of it, so let's just move on.
I genuinely think I could have designed a better Sexy Amethyst Geode costume for Miss Uruguay, and she would not have needed to hold up a chunk of rock onstage for it. Also the rock does not make the spangled nude bodysuit anything other than a spangled nude bodysuit.
Miss USA continues our proud tradition of deeply embarrassing Miss Universe national costumes. Sigh.
...and there's the image limit again. Almost done!
Poor Miss US Virgin Islands can barely walk, her dress is basically one big mural, and there's a small chest of gold coins located directly over her crotch. Oof. I guess I like the rainbow madras trim?
lol Miss Venezuela brought two mini parade floats and both of the turtles have moving parts. There is an insane amount of rhinestone and crystal trim on her headdress and sleeves. Delightful. Great work.
Miss Vietnam looks lovely and her ao dai is impeccably tailored but girl. One of your predecessors wore an entire banh mi stand in this competition. A sparkly bicycle is not gonna cut it.
I need everyone to remember that we are grading on a scale with Miss Panama's Sexy Truck and Miss USA's Sexy Optimus Prime at the top end when I say things like "Miss Zambia's costume is a little bit plain for me."
I'm not completely clear on how Miss Zimbabwe's costume is baobab tree inspired unless the baobab in question is actively in flames, but you know what? It's not boring. It's got chutzpah. It also kind of has the Witch-King of Angmar's helmet over the crotch but it's fine. it's fine!
I have to assume there was some behind-the-scenes disaster that put Miss Latvia and her Tribute To The Baltic Sea at the very end of the otherwise alphabetical lineup. That said, I feel like I know any number of cosplayers who could reproduce this and probably improve on it, and it's another instance where upgrading the fabric to something with more texture would make a huge difference.
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