Is Lie. Liar Told You That

Defending Shane Hollander with my life

[hollanovarchive]

Hi! Do you have any fic recs of Shane struggling with internalised homophobia, and especially with being a bottom?

Thanks!

Internalized Homophobia

🏒 Questions and Answers | 1.1k

Ilya and Shane admitted their feelings for each other and are officially boyfriends. However, Shane still has some feelings of internalized homophobia and has some questions for Ilya about sexuality. Ilya answers his questions and comforts him.

🏒 Add To Cart | 1.3k

Shane Hollander, who is definitely still straight, attempts to buy a dildo. For research purposes of course.

🏒 not flawed (just a little under-rehearsed) | 1.3k

Shane cannot remember a time when he didn’t think he was broken.

🏒 am i gay? | 1.8k

Shane Hollander takes an "am I gay?" quiz

🏒 I've Been Careless With a Delicate Man | 2.1k

“You can’t have both, Ilya. You can’t make me wear your jersey while you fuck me and..and…and ask me to stay over and buy me dinner and cook me things and ask me to fucking emotionally invest so much with you. Why’d you fucking pursue me back then, huh? You chased me, remember? This wasn’t my fucking fault, it was yours.”

🏒 one of a million | 2.1k

Shane doesn't want to do this. No part of him wants to get out of his car, walk to Hayden's front door, and have this conversation. But he has to - because it’s the right thing to do, because Hayden is his friend, because he’s tired of hiding. 

🏒 Wrong For So Many Reasons | 2.6k

Shane and Ilya finally talk about Shane's friendship with Rose. This brings up some unresolved insecurities for Shane

🏒 Impossible, Intimidating, Undeniable | 2.6k

🔒 Shane has a very serious problem after leaving the gym. He deals with it extremely calmly

🏒 Only Then I am Clean | 2.9k

He was a laughing stock. All star Hall of Famer Shane Hollander is in love with another man. Best in the league, a millionaire at twenty, three Stanley Cups, Rookie of the Year, once a well-respected captain. Children all over Montreal wore his name like a branding. What a shame that at the end of the day he goes home to a man. What an embarrassment.

🏒 The To-Don't List | 3.3k

This thing with Rozanov had been going on long enough. Shane hadn't been able to put a stop to it yet, but maybe he could try a new approach. He could write a list: "why this has to be the last time"

🏒 okay, i knew (but. i wouldn't admit it) | 3.4k

that night with Rose comes back to haunt Shane when he least expects it, and leads him to some devastating revelations.

🏒 All the Things He Said (This is Not Enough) | 3.7k

Ilya leaves the club alone but gets a call from Shane in crisis. Shane sleeps with Rose after seeing Ilya at the club and realizes he might be gay. Even though they're not on speaking terms, the only one he has to talk to about it is Ilya.

🏒 Shane Hollander, Pro Level Cowboy | 4.2k

Ilya grapples with top privilege and Shane gets to embrace bottom pride in the locker room.

🏒 Shane Hollander Has a Thing | 4.7k

In which Shane Hollander acquires and uses a thing he can’t bring himself to name.

🏒 wear the costume before it becomes the clothes | 4.7k

the one where Ilya wants to take Shane to pride night, and Shane learns how to cope with his queerness.

🏒 becoming yourself | 5.0k

Shane has a lot of feelings about being gay. A night in New York City, a chance encounter, and a new friend may help him work through them.

🏒 This Is Like Every Hockey Player's Wet Dream | 5.2k

Shane wants to tell Ilya he wants to come out, Ilya goes down in a game - Shane tells him in front of the Centaurs instead.

🏒 Up and Down the Line | 7.8k

🔒 Shane starts having strange dreams. He turns to the women in his life for answers.

🏒 "am i gay quiz" (1,000+ results) | 8.6k

Shane breaks up with his high school girlfriend after the draft. He spends the rest of the summer trying to do anything other than think about Ilya Rozanov. He fails miserably.

🏒 Worth a Shot | 10.8k

An alternate take on Shane's sexuality crisis coming to a head

🏒 dragging you down, down, down | 12.6k

Shane Hollander thinks he's just a straight man with anxiety. His hypnotherapist thinks otherwise and is willing to prove it in every single way.

🏒 Showing Results For | 12.7k

5 times Shane takes an "Am I Gay?" quiz, and 1 time he retakes one.

🏒 diamonds in the dust | 13.2k

in which Yuna and David try to figure out what's going on with their son through the years while trying to be good, supportive, non-overbearing parents.

Sexuality -> Bi/Gay Awakening | Internalized Homophobia | Shane Comes Out AU | Shane Comes Out To Team | Queer Community/Pride | Queer Ilya | Trans Hollanov | TransMasc Shane

Feel free to add in comments or reblogs and I'll add it to the list!

Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists

[gimmiekiss1221]

y'all ever think about the fact that ilya genuinely needed connors' help to find a club in montréal because he's never wanted to go to one there before? he's always just had shane.

and you could argue he went out during the two years before shane agreed to have sex, but i actually think he stayed in during that time in hopes that shane would eventually change his mind.

[i mean look at the way he'd stare longingly at their text thread waiting for shane to text him back during that time. boy wanted shane's cookie baaaaaaad, he wasn't gonna risk being with someone else if that message came through telling him he could come over]

so yeah, i think all this added onto ilya's emotional state that night. he's never had to do this before, not here.

[ellisonwongparty]

what makes me laugh about the shane/ilya/svetlana love triangle is that from shane's end shane is like. :( gosh svetlana is so gorgeous and she's russian and she knows ilya's family and they have so much history and she makes ilya laugh..... how can i ever compare.

and then from svetlana's end it's like. if i end up as ilya rozanov's wag i will have actually hit rock bottom. anytime i close my eyes and imagine the worst version of myself, i see myself endgame hetero married to ilya rozanov. imagine being a rozanova. haha. holy shit. could never be me. if ten years down the line i am in a monogamous marriage with ilya rozanov it means i have completely given up on my life. everytime i try to picture us raising kids together i always see us in the house irina died in. no thanks. nooo thanks. I am good. i am good. he gives good dick though. but shane can have him.

[themoonandmyman]

Ilya Voice it’s a doggie dog world…

[penandinkprincess]

this

does make me think extremely chewy thoughts about how fucking complicated this has to be for ilya. like obviously things with his father are SO fucking complex and layered and there's so much pain there, but also what emotional potential of being the only person he consistently remembers. even ilya's older brother gets forgotten, but when he's distressed, ilya is the one he calls? he ALWAYS seems to know ilya?????

it adds to the guilt also that he's the only one who can calm his father down or at least handle him when he's like this and yet he's the one on a whole different continent, but also what a twisted wreck of feelings it has to be to be the only one their father consistently remembers. like there HAS to be love in there, doesn't there? if i'm the one he remembers when he forgets everything else? i'm at least THAT important to him? i have to be, don't i? even if everything else is gone, i'm still in there. that HAS to mean something, doesn't it?

but also what fucking guilt to know that alexei almost certainly feels resentment about this as confirmation that ilya is their father's favorite and always has been and always will be. and like from ilya's pov, it didn't save him AT ALL, but also how fucking complex to be the younger sibling and yet be the only one their father consistently remembers.

[perlukafarinn]

ilya: ghosts shane for six months after their emotionally charged first time anal and blows him off in sochi

shane:

[perlukafarinn]

I think there's a part of Shane that genuinely believes that when he finishes his last game, they will take him out back and shoot him like a sick dog.

[roselandrysgayex]

Saw a post complaining that we didn’t see enough of the enemies stage in hollanov’s enemies to lovers arc and I don’t know how to explain that that’s because they don’t have an enemies to lovers arc

[duckduckhonk]

secretly the funniest guy

[penandinkprincess]

blessed with the divine vision that bb shane was a fucking STICKLER for equal application of rules when he was an itty bitty. he'll accept the rules just fine, but they will now be HOUSEHOLD rules.

and most of the time it's fine. shane's bedtime is 7:30 pm because he is so itty bitty, but yuna and david have always just gone to their room after that so bb just assumed they were also following The Time To Sleep rules.

which is all well and good until nana is visiting while staying with her sister, it's 7:40 pm, and she is just cooing and delighted at bb shane just repeating "night NIGHT" over and over from the doorway to the living room because she is not understanding that this is not him being cute and saying goodnight.

this is attempted enforcement of the rules because nana, it is time for NIGHT NIGHT and you are clearly NOT ready for night night, and to TOP IT ALL OFF!! YOU ARE KEEPING MAMA AND DADDY FROM NIGHT NIGHT. RULES!! BROKEN!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS LITTLE BABY FACE. >:(

[s-o-r-i-n]

I enjoy the sex in heated rivalry but it's not the main selling point for me which is unfortunately impossible to explain to people who haven't seen the show in a way that doesn't sound like a joke

"what do you like about the sexy gay hockey show based on a romance porn book with lots of sex?"

"oh well I think the plot and the characters are really great!"

I'm being serious but it gets a laugh every time

[cliff-marleaus-left-toe]

I have this headcanon where in an alternative universe Ilya had a moment of insight at the beginning of their hookups so when The Raiders asked where he was going instead of saying he was gonna see Montreal Jane he was like 'I am gonna see my close personal friend Shane Hollander we are gonna eat takeout and play videogames in his house he is my best friend actually.' And the Raiders were like, 'Yeah, right.' But he kept the bit, and every time they were in Montreal, he told the Raiders he was meeting Shane, and the rivalry was just league PR bullshit. They never truly believed him, but it didn't really matter at the time. And When they were eventually at the cottage and Shane told Ilya his plan Ilya was like 'Do not be mad but I have been telling Raiders you are my best friend and every time we play monteral I come to see you to play videogames and eat takeout for years and they never belived me so there is still plusably denibility but if you wanna launch a friendship we dont have to wait or built up I already laid the groundwork.' And Shane is in his head like 'I am gonna marry this man.' So they announce the charity the same summer and the raiders are like 'well shit he was telling the truth.' And since Ilya did lay the groundwork, when the media asks them about Ilya and Shane's 'have been friends the whole time' narrative, the Raiders are like, 'Yeah, he told us they were friends; we just didn't believe him.' Which makes the public opinion on their friendship largely positive but doesn't really change the overall timeline all that much just gives them some room to be publicly affectionate and kind of takes the heat off the fanmail gate bc instead of the public thinking it was an enemies-to-lovers hot sex in hotel rooms 9-year situationship with messy breakups and hookups in between they think it was a slow-burn friends-to-lovers situation filled with yearning and Queer self discovery which is more palatable to the public.

[actuallysara]

According to The Nation, Heated Rivalry is now the most-watched, non-animated, show on HBO Max since the streaming platform launched in 2020

[hothockey]

some of y'all in HR fandom have the exact same user icon and i mean no disrespect but i do think of y'all as long lost twins that will probably reunite at summer camp in america and fence each other furiously and then play enough moderately evil pranks on each other for daring to have the same face, that you get sent to the isolation cabin to eat oreos and pb together, before you joyfully and moderately evilly realize you can trick your birth parents (hudcon) into getting back together if you just swap places and i am nodding in my seat eating sweet salty popcorn like you go girl (gn), wear the same face, trap those parents, i love it

[scunthotter]

Yuna always calls Shane her favorite mother's day gift, because his birthday occasionally falls on mother's day. When Ilya joins the family, and they learn his birthday is close to father's day, David starts calling Ilya his favorite father's day gift. Shane is insulted because he bought David a trip to Iceland last year.

[argillaforma]

after seeing a rumor on twitter the raiders discuss the age old question: is he gay or european?

[scunthotter]

Rookie Ilya billeting with his older captain and his omega husband. His omega is a little strange, he tells Ilya, kinda a little freak but he's hot enough that he makes up for it.

His captain's omega (he cannot think about him as Hollander or, jesus christ, Shane or he might start getting really bad ideas) greets Ilya and almost immediately starts breaking down Ilya's performance at the 2009 world juniors. Its not like when his dad or his coachs do it because along with the critique is also quiet admiring praise. This goes on for awhile before his captain tells him to shut up. Hollander thanks him and Ilya tries not to spring across the table and attack the captain of his hockey team.

The omega drives him to the practice rink and then follows him in. Shane explains he works for the tream, something to do with stats, and he can use the employee gym facilities. Ilya invites him out onto the ice.

Shane can skate.

He's actually the same age as Ilya, if Shane hadn't presented that summer they would have met at the 2008 world juniors. He might have beat Ilya. He moves so beautifully on the ice.

Ilya can't help but ask why Shane doesn't play for an university or an omega league. He's good enough that he must practice every day.

That's when Shane explains that his husband wants him at home. He's lucky really to have someone who puts up with him. That even if he mated young, he's comfortable.

Ilya decides he's going to take Shane away from his team captain. He may not have the ability yet but he's Ilya fucking Rozanov. He's a generational player that they're building the organization around.

He's gonna fuck Shane. His fucking captain deserves to be cucked.