Worn out and Mad about it

Novice Necromancer, Chaotic Good, she/they ace, coffee machine gremlin, of the oldest millennials. Currently Dollposting but the old fandoms don't die

[emeraldspiral]

[rosery-doll]

Let me tell you about the Mk II Apollo Pattern Knight Preceptor. It was created in the deepest pits of some ass backward Forge world to ever grace the Emperor’s space.Every tech priest in a ten kilometer area start to doubt the Omnisaaish.  Its basically a walking trashcan with two arms. The armor is “las-gun” proof, which means anything over a fucking torch punches through it. The harpoon takes seven tech priests and four days to reload, and the fucking melta they put on the other hand? If they weren’t so blasted fast, they’d be still as useless as they are now. Throne damn me, but I want to know what tech priest chanted up this STC cause it’s proof the Emperor wants us all dead.

Now, you going to fix it or am I going to have to ask impolitely? 

[lesbiansforboromir]

You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)

[lesbiansforboromir]

everyone stop reblogging this I hate to be reminded of my own good advice

[gender-kenvy]

wdym Andy Weir hid the name of every Beatles album in the text

hey come back what do you mean

[aroace-ryland-grace]

oh my god

[tamamita]

I'm so glad this man is living in fear now

[tamamita]

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[halomancer]

On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????

[lemonsharks]

Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.

[safetytank]

#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool

[queerb]

tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH

[maggiedeshiboux]

@gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.

[superiorsturgeon]

Jaune: I’m staring in the mirror at the man who ruined my life. 😢

Cinder: Excuse you?! I’M the one who burned down your school, killed your 10/10 girlfriend, and tried to kill your friends!

Cinder: Stop taking credit for all my hard work! 😤

[superiorsturgeon]

Jaune: I’m staring in the mirror at the man who ruined my life. 😢

Cinder: Excuse you?! I’M the one who burned down your school, killed your 10/10 girlfriend, and tried to kill your friends!

Cinder: Stop taking credit for all my hard work! 😤

[prokopetz]

Soulslike where as you complete various objectives it gradually becomes clear that your camp is accumulating conspicuously barefoot level up maidens.

[prokopetz]

Each has her own distinct advancement paradigm which would offer some truly disgusting cross-class builds, except how well they synergise depends on their relationship levels with each other rather than with you. Advanced buildcraft thus obliges you to play level up maiden matchmaker.

[prokopetz]

Each level up maiden also functions as the primary equipment vendor for her advancement paradigm's respective "class"; you begin to suspect that at least some of them are slanting the upgrades they offer in order to encourage you to put on specific clothing.

[skulkingthing]

white girl SHOCKS nonbinary barista by fucking the coffee machine

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[lesbianeo]

they're trying to sell me coffee with shrooms in the tumblr ads

[rosery-doll]

And its not even the fun mushrooms, its the mushroom coffee we'll be drinking in the climate apocalypse, which is less fun

[dresdencodak]

I have a confession to make, a hidden truth about myself that may have even bled through in my art

…I think I might be gay

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[does-this-character-eat-pussy]

Xena the Warrior Princess

Does Xena the Warrior Princess from Xena: Warrior Princess eat pussy?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 4 days 13 hours

[does-this-character-eat-pussy]

Xena the Warrior Princess

Does Xena the Warrior Princess from Xena: Warrior Princess eat pussy?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 4 days 13 hours

[wheeloffortune-design]

my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!

me: yeah, i posted on tumblr

publisher: .........tumblr?

me: that's where the gays are.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update

publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?

me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?

publisher: .....and it works?

me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.

publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?

me: .......absolutely not.

(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)

[wheeloffortune-design]

update!

publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?

me: NO

publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-

me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.

publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.

me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.

(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)

(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)