Simon had finally gotten to sink into the hot bath that he'd been looking forward to all day.
The water was hot enough to loosen the tight band of muscle in his shoulders, steam curling slowly from the water. He’d tilted his head back, eyes closed, letting the quiet settle.
The bathroom door creaked open.
Johnny stood there, entirely too casual, and the hem of his shirt drenched in water.
“Evenin’, Si,” he said lightly, stepping into the room and closing the door quietly.
Simon watched him through half-lidded eyes. “What d’you want?”
“Nothin’.” Johnny lowered himself to sit against the outside of the tub, back pressed to the porcelain and arms folded over his knees. “Can a man no’ spend time wi’ his husband?”
Simon hummed, unconvinced, but didn't shoo him off.
Johnny began talking. Absolute nonsense really, just that Johnny way of filling the space. Something about a bloke down the street who couldn’t reverse park. A retelling of Kyle burning toast earlier. A tangent about whether penguins had knees.
Simon listened in silence, letting Johnny's voice wrap around him like steam.
Two minutes later, the door opened again. Quieter this time.
Kyle slipped in like a cat, quiet and smooth. He glanced at Simon, then at Johnny, then, without a word, sat down at side of the tub, shoulder brushing Johnny’s.
Simon slowly raised an eyebrow at him.
Simon stared at both of them.
They’d been out most of the day, running separate errands. Maybe they’d missed him. Maybe this was their version of hovering. Two overgrown strays unwilling to leave him alone for twenty minutes.
He rolled his eyes fondly and let his head tip back again. Poor little bastards. He thought for a moment about maybe inviting them in. The tub was big enough, that's why they'd bought it. Maybe this—
The roar hit the flat like artillery shells.
Simon’s eyes shot open. And immediately landed on a very frozen, very guilty looking Johnny.
Kyle’s mouth pressed into a line, very carefully not looking at anyone.
“MacTavish,” Price called again, voice calm now in a way that was significantly more dangerous, “why is the kitchen soaked in water?"
Johnny winced, spoke only loud enough for Simon and Kyle to hear. “In ma defence—"
“With what,” Kyle muttered, “a spoon?”
“I’ve fixed taps before!”
There was the sound of something metallic clattering in the kitchen.
“Sergeant MacTavish,” Price said, “I highly suggest you present yourself in the next five seconds.”
Johnny whipped his head toward Simon. “Please.”
Simon blinked slowly at him.
“I didnae mean tae flood the cupboard,” Johnny whispered urgently. “It just—it escalated.”
Simon exhaled through his nose.
Then, as flat as he could manage to hide the smile forming on his lips, “John Duncan MacTavish, I highly suggest you find a better hiding spot.”
Kyle was shifting away now, ready to leave Johnny to enter the lion's den alone.
“Traitor,” Johnny hissed.
“I told you to wait for help,” Kyle replied.
Johnny scrambled to his feet just as heavy footsteps approached down the hall.
Simon sank deeper into the bath again, closing his eyes. Not his problem, at least not yet anyway. It was good for Soap to get a scared shitless of the old man every once in a while.
The bathroom door handle turned. Then opened slowly.
Simon didn’t even look up as he said, “Captain. If you’re planning to drown him, at least let me finish my soak first.”
There was a pause, Simon didn't bother hiding his smile now.
“…I’m going to need a mop,” Price muttered.
Johnny squeaked, “It’s no’ that bad!”
Then Kyle, “It’s that bad.”