Taken Aurally

these sounds fall into my mind

[pmamtraveller]

Pressure by Essi Välimäki

[dangeroustoast-blog]

Magnetic ball in magnetic putty

[meshugenist]

me trying to get comfortable in my covers at night

[maditox]

thats the kind of thing i would love to just have in a little jar on my shelf so that when people came over they would be really unnerved by the mysterious shifting blob i have in a flask and i would refuse to acknowledge its existence

[mewnosodenwyma]

"just retrace your steps" I have adhd. as far as my memory is concerned i teleported here

[dankomaksimovic]

ph. Danko Maksimovic - Wuppertal, Germany (2026)

Film: Kodak Gold 200

[rohirric-hunter]

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

[edgar-allan-possum]

Why is that?

[rohirric-hunter]

Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.

The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.

The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.

The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.

The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.

The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.

The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.

The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.

The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.

[lew-basnight]

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

A story I once heard from a guy who specialised in security testing for IT. They had been hired to test out the security of the company, and one of the things they were testing was whether they could physically get secure data out of the building.

The guy walked in with a trolley with a wobbly wheel, loaded half a dozen computers onto the trolley so that they were unstable, and walked up to the main security door. At which point, the trolley wobbled and there was an avalanche of computers. The security guard helped him load the computers back onto the trolley and then held the door open for him as he walked out with six computers loaded with company secrets.

[collapsedsquid]

@argumate

[giliszta]

Listening to music in a foreign language: oh no I didn't understand that sentence, I need to work on my listening comprehension.

Listening to music in my native language: the fuck is he even talking about

[diehellasrache]

I think I'm going to remember this phrase every time I cook for the next five years

[goldenatreides]

guys i didn’t realize his actual name was teleporno im fuckinf crying. i just went with it like ok not the weirdest thing ive seen from the silm people yet. just assumed it was part of the fan lore i didn’t get to yet. wdym thats his NAMEEE im howling

[anghraine]

I will genuinely never be over Tolkien being like "Arnor should be 'Ardor' but that's just too much. not the main spelling but still. I think we can all agree it's tacky. so I'll come up with a linguistic drift reason it didn't happen" and then going telep+orno, obvious, in absolute blissful indifference.

[nobrashfestivity]

Franco Fontana, Houston, 1985

[fuzzyghost]

[bigger-rat]

Vladimir Serov, The Worker (1960) and The Builder (1964)

[lieutenant-sappho]

transition timeline

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

winding up for a thunderous soviet slap on th ass

[sailatina3]

This is how people talk about HRT.

[baked-fish]

I hate to say "some of you don't go outside," but fucking Christ, dude

[hunbunqueen]

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

[baked-fish]

Girl, what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?

[sparkbirdmusic]

whose idea was this tile pattern

[booooooooof-9-o-s]

how my foot feels after i sit cross legged and motionless for hours on end

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The near-to-total lack of pattern is almost an accomplishment in itself really

[earsandtailsarefeet]

I'm torn between thinking 'this is a magical IRL shitpost' and 'what arse tiled a bathroom like my migraines?'

[sunspotpony]

This is what my muscles feel like 24/7.

[curlicuecal]

i tthought this was qr codes

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

there's a minotaur in the center of this

[libertineangel]

It is implied through gameplay mechanics that the two kingdoms at war in chess both formally permit regnal polygamy, allowing the King to take at least nine wives of equal status, and that marriage can be bestowed as a military honour, but curiously that honour - in stark contrast to the conventional attitudes of the aristocracy - can only be bestowed upon soldiers of the unlanded class, leaving great questions to be asked of the material interests and stability of these kingdoms' aristocracies

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

also, their horses lack limbs & their castles are small

[worlds-tiredest-girl]

yknow the smallness of the castles is FAR from their most interesting distinction from the noticeably immobile ones we are familiar with

[dwewi66]