You can call me Rosie, they/them pronouns. I’m currently 22 🌹
My DMs and asks are open to all adults, just be nice. :) If one of my posts is missing any content warnings (tags or otherwise) that would be helpful for you to have, please let me know and I’d be more than happy to add them!
This is a kink blog, so it is strictly 18+. Minors DNI (including likes, reblogs, replies, asks, follows, etc.). Any minors, ageless blogs, or suspected minors will be blocked immediately
Fandom specific tags: #bgsnz is B/al/du/r’s G/at/e 3 snz posts (scenarios, fics, etc), #bgsnz vamp for Ast/arion specifically. #unwelluva boss is He/ll/uva B/oss. #snzbin ho/tel is Haz/bin Ho/tel.
Fic masterlist!
B/G/3:
A Little Fun to Feel Better. Illness & feather inducing, 3k. T/av calls A/star/ion out during their nightly bite regarding him hiding a cold, but things heat up once he starts sneezing and realizes that T/av is into it. A little sub/dom play and blood drinking.
Winter Warmth. Illness, 5.5k. A/star/ion catches a bad cold out in the winter snow. Kar/lach, L/ae’z/el, and Ast/arion’s partner T/av bundle him up and take him to a warm inn.
Go/od O/me/ns:
A Demon’s Experiments. Illness, 2k. Crow/ley catches cold from being out in the winter snow, and A/zir/aph/ale has a snz kink. (The fic says 1/? but this one’s dead, sorry lmao.)
Haz/bin Ho/tel:
Collateral Damage (4/5). Illness, inducing, contagion, kink!V/al. V/ox fights Alas/tor despite having a bad cold and spreads it, but a slash through his gills lingers and makes sneezing and coughing painful. V/al caretakes. Alas/tor and the other V/ees will be sick in later parts. Part 1 (5.2k). Part 2 (4.7k). Part 3 (8.9k). Part 4 (13k).
Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions. Dog allergy, 12.4k. Ch/ar/lie surprises the hotel (including Lu/ci/fer!) with therapy dogs as a reward, Si/r Pen/ti/ous and A/la/stor are allergic, many shenanigans ensue.
Needy. Illness, inducing, contagion, kink!char, 5k. V/al is sick with the flu and is extremely clingy with V/ox, who happens to have a snz kink. V/ox tries to balance taking care of his lover with trying to avoid getting sick because, as always, he has work to do. Mixture of fluff and spice.
He/ll/uva B/oss:
A Captive Audience of One. Feathers (including inducing), 7.7k. S/trike/r kidnaps Sto/las again during molting season, and the loose feathers sent into the air during their little horseback ride to his lair really gets to his poor, touch-sensitive nose. Sto/las is a snarky, teasing bitch about it.
Bless You, Idiot. Induced chhinkni, 1k. Sto/las tries to surprise kink!Bli/tz by inducing with chhinkni just before he comes over, but wayyyy overdoes it and is an absolute mess.
Heavy Is the Head that Wore the Crown. Illness and a little inducing (feathers and touch), 11.3k. Sto/las wakes up sick the morning after Mas/ter/mind. Bli/tz takes care of him very attentively and lovingly. Fluff and a little angst over Sto/las’s current situation ensue.
In Sickness and in Hell. Illness, 10.7k. Sto/las is sick and pitiful on a full moon. Bli/tz teases him and caretakes.
Sweet. Illness, 3.4k. Established relationship Sto/li/tz fluff. Sto/las is very clingy with a bad case of the flu and a high fever. Soft kink!Bli/tz takes care of him and gives his poor birdie plenty of sappy affection.
Le/ag/ue of Leg/ends:
One B/reath and B/rush at a Time. Illness & paintbrush inducing, 3k. H/we/i, our resident angsty artist, is sick and miserable all alone in his art studio, stubbornly trying to finish his current work.
W/h/it/e Co/llar:
What Safe Feels Like. Collab with @softblesses! Illness, 20k total separated into four parts. N/eal tries to hide the illness he’s coming down with, fails, and gets taken back to the B/ur/k/es’ house like a sad wet cat for extremely sweet caretaking. Part 1 (5k).
My OCs:
[Quick reference for OCs, including images, here!]
Those You Hold Dear. Dust & feather inducing, 3k. Dorian tries to ignore that the dust of a magical tome he’s studying is getting to him. Iofrith, his fey patron who’s not very familiar with mortals, is curious and a little concerned.
Ridiculously niche scenario I’m fixated on rn. Character who’s very self sufficient is sick and goes over to their fridge in pyjamas and a blanket but even that is like too chilly for them. Shivering and sneezing in the light of a fridge is such a fun visual and maybe they go lie down afterwards on the floor realizing this fever might be worse than they anticipated
I know no one is going to read this, but I’m desperate enough to try. One of my kittens got rushed to the emergency vet today and was ultimately diagnosed with panleukopenia, the cat version of parvo. I’ve applied for and maxed out all the credit lines I have to pay for his treatment on the chance, even though it’s small, that he may pull through. I couldn’t just end his life like that. He’s only 4 months old. Please, if anyone can donate to help pay for his vet bill, it would be beyond appreciated. They’re quoting 6000 total atm, and I’m able to pay 4k myself. It’s the 2000 difference we’re struggling to find after I was just out of work for a month for my own surgery.
I never thought I would ever have to do this. I know it probably won’t get traction. But I had to try for my baby. Please. Any kind of help is appreciated. If you’re willing, I can message my Venmo
ask returned, haz/bin character of your choice for the 3x3 thing!!
~ Effy
ahh thanks effy!!! probably a bit obvious but i'm going to go with the silly tv-headed demon... as such, i will attempt to fulfill the full 3x3.
i hope this is somewhat coherent as i've been rly busy the past week and would jot things down every so often
three things i like about them
his storyline, potential character arc ("do you think I could be redeemed?") *screams into the void*, and his dynamic with alastor (which i hope will still be explored in the series). i still can't believe s2e4 was real. particularly the flashback scene. like it still feels like a fever dream i would yap abt w @stormyweaver but it was canon the whole time? WILD. plus, viv confirming that vo/x let his guard down in a way he never had before and was being completely genuine w al in the flashback, it just lives in my head rent free.
his design. i most def have a soft spot for android/robot characters and despite the tv head i'm not sure he rly counts as either...demon biology i guess? i love how expressive he is and while some of the improvements in animation for s2 weren't super showy they were just cherry on top for me. i also LOVELOVELOVE that the heterochromia from his human life carried over into his demon form. upgrading his tv head with newer models in-line with modern technology is perfection.
the cast is absolutely STACKED and i'm sure i've said it multiple times before but his VA is the sole reason i even found out about haz/bin. and while he does a mighty fine job in s1, he really stepped up his game in s2. you can hear and feel vo/x's emotions not only when he speaks but also when he sings. soapbox moment but musical theatre ppl should absolutely be tapped into more VA roles esp if there's singing involved. you can feel the emotion that the VAs put into all the songs in haz/bin.
three snz/adjacent hcs
never a one-and-done kinda guy. very much a rapid-fire, fittish snz demon and HATES it. v/al finds it entertaining & kinda hot but ve/l is like can you hurry tf up, i have important shit to do. also prone to ticklish, staticky build-ups that having him gasping like a fish out of water
as a human didn't suffer from allergies, but hell said let's knock your ego down a few more pegs. my guy is learns of his newfound allergies in a very unfortunate way (and that he can sneeze?? with a tv for a head?). pollen, (esp!!) dust, dander, you name it
other than the snzblr accepted hc's that his vents & gills are sensitive to touch in general. even moreso when he's sick and add his electric powers going on the fritz, i love the idea that bending or playing with his antenna can also induce snz
three snz/adjacent scenarios (how many of these are unfinished wips? all. the answer is unfortunately, all)
soft & spicy radi/ostatic AU in which ala/stor & vo/x have a newly established relationship. starts with vo/x coming down w alast/or's cold. kink!alas/tor btw (not snzkink tho)
mu/rderm/edia but with snz. that's it, that's the post. and then everyone clapped. kidding! ala/stor and vinc/ent had coordinated a murder after vinc/ent's news bit, except vince/nt doesn't show up to their premediated location and time. alast/or assumes he's late or forgot, and takes matters into his own hands. by barging into vin/cent's apartment... which is eeriely empty. he's annoyed that he's been blown off, but as he's walking past an electronics store he notices the tv screens in the window displaying vincent's live segment. and oh, vinc/ent is looking quite worse for wear...
role-reversal canon-divergence: the ve/es would have been about to lose the fight in s2e4, instead of al/astor & co. al sees an opportunity and proposes that vo/x becomes his little hotel "pet" and is the one tied to a chair. ala/stor takes advantage of this and has a bit of ~fun~ (hadn't decided b/w feather inducing or setting off allergies)
Hey, Effy!! 💜💜💜 If you’d like, I was curious about your thoughts on Ry/land Gr/ace and/or Crow/ley for the 3x3 asks? :3
YEEEEEEEEEE
my GUYS
i'm kinda likely to get carried away with crow/ley because i have a lot more thoughts for him so i'm gonna do gr/ace first
answer under Le Clicky Clicky, sorta spoilers for Pro/ject H/ail Ma/ry ofc
3 things I like about him
He’s so silly. He CANONICALLY wears science pun t-shirts and his glasses are worn wrong for most of the movie. Also the SOUNDS he makes. Ryan Gosling did a brilliant job holy FUCK. At one point in the film (iirc it was his first moment in zero g?) Grace just does this high pitched scream, there’s another moment that's become a vocal stim where he goes like “WHOA- NooOOOooo!” Just!!! HE'S CUTE 😭
THE FACT THAT HE AND ROCKY IMMEDIATELY BECAME BEST FRIENDS LIKE WTF 🥺🥺🥺 First contact with alien life and it’s this dorky lil rock spider and the EQUALLY DORKY science teacher IMMEDIATELY tries learning Rocky’s language, sets up a translation software, AND LETS THE LITTLE GUY MOVE IN WITH HIM ON HIS SHIP!!!! I love them I’d die for them both
The fact that even as his memories came back from the retrograde-amnesia drugs he was given before being shot into space against his will, he didn’t freak out that badly, he didn’t try and sabotage the mission to spite his circumstances, he KEPT GOING DESPITE NOT BEING A BRAVE GUY BY ANY METRICS. HE’S THE BEST
3 snz/adjacent headcanons
Has kind of a higher pitched snz almost? Like not DRASTICALLY but a little higher than one would think from looking at him but somehow also exactly what you'd expect. And very rarely once at a time, I think he usually sneezes in doubles and if it’s any more than that something’s really getting to him. Sort of like: “Hh-? EHDT’schhih! Hghh! IHGK’xshHEWw! Sndff!” and then he’ll do some soggy little worn out sigh 🥺
DOESN’T swear after sneezing but WILL say one of the like. Swear replacements in his roster (presumably from being a teacher but I think he's just Like That). So smth along the lines of “Jiminy Cricket, that one hurt...” (dork. loser. i love him.)
Pretty solid immune system in that he doesn’t get sick from other people easily. He takes care of himself, eats well, sleeps 8 hours a night, all that. Then Eva Stratt showed up and said “I’m about to wreck this man”. Prior to getting yeeted into the cosmos, Grace spent a fair amount of time on an aircraft carrier trying to solve the problem of Hey Why Is The Sun Dimming and I figure between lost sleep, constant stress and being around a bunch of new people from all over the world, he spent at LEAST 15 percent of that time fighting off whatever bugs he managed to pick up from his fellow scientists.
I also feel like he’s the type to have some weirdly specific allergy. Like one particular scented body wash or perfume or smth sets him off pretty badly, or there’s some fur or fabric that gets him (it would be so funny if he was allergic to foxes specifically because he’s often associated with that animal in the movie, he has a cardigan with them on it and iirc they send him off with a little fox keychain)
3 snz/adjacent prompts/scenarios
When he’s on the aircraft carrier, he gets sick because of course he does. Cold sea air, stress and close quarters are kind of a lethal combination for all that as I mentioned. He feels miserable, constantly has to warn people he’s sick so as to try and avoid them catching it, but the one person he has NOT told is Stratt. She, of course, knows anyway, and when Grace is finally able to go to bed, he finds a box of canned soup, a flask of tea, and the strongest cold and flu meds she could get her hands on out there. There’s also a note that just says “Dr. Grace. Rest well and return soon. The world is counting on you. ~ Stratt” and he knows that’s her weird way of showing she cares.
Under normal circumstances, had the launch of the Hail Mary gone to plan, Stratt would have done extensive screening to make sure none of the crew members brought anything that would set off one another’s allergies. However, normal circumstances didn’t happen, Grace got roped in at the last minute. So now I’m thinking. He’s alone in space, his crewmates died in their comas, the drugs are wearing off, he’s going through Yáo and Ilyukhina’s personal things as well as his own, trying to piece together what happened and who he is, and he finds some cologne or perfume or something belonging to one of them. And that has predictable results. He writes it down on the whiteboard he’s been using to record what he remembers about himself, right next to “okay with cilantro” (seriously that’s on the board)
His first time sneezing in front of Rocky would have been. Interesting. Simply because Rocky worries a LOT about him. So Grace suddenly has to explain the complexities of the human respiratory system to him. I feel like Grace explains things as they come up, so if Grace were to ever get sick, he’d talk about that to try and ease Rocky’s anxiety (and his own, because going into Science Teacher Mode helps him calm down.)
I have to throw in a little something for the Bloodymary shippers, though I see them as a QPR if anything. (stay with me, this gets kinda weird if you haven’t seen Iron Lung) When, as a lot of people propose, Rocky and Grace rescue Simon (Markiplier’s character, for the uninitiated) from his tin-can submarine in the Blood Ocean, they find him in quite the awful state. Everything else he was dealing with aside, I’m imagining what would happen if it turned out Simon had also been battling a cold the whole time he’d been down there. Rocky and the other Eridian scientists tell Grace to avoid Simon because they’re not sure if this guy is dangerous (and i mean. his nickname is The Butcher. soooooo they aren’t wrong) but Grace has been so starved of human connection for SO long, and he just can’t resist talking to him, being up close... And of course that leads to Grace catching possibly the most brutal cold he’s had in years.
aaaaand WOW that was longer than i thought anyWAY
CROWLEY TIME
3 things I like about him
He’s so cool and also The DORKIEST EVER. His Bentley ONLY plays Queen. He has these silly turns of phrase that I just loveeeee ("awning of a new age" oh you ABSOLUTE LOSER CROWLEY ILY) And omg the fucking SAUNTER. THE WALK DAVID TENNANT DOES AS HIM. Also!! I have such gender envy for him in SO many of his looks through the ages.
God that one moment in season 2 when we see angel!Crowley.... HE WAS SO HAPPY 😭😭😭😭 HIS LITTLE SOUNDS I CAN'TTTTTTT 🥺 I just wanted him to be that joyous forever
The CHAOS GREMLIN VIBES HE HAS. Switching the paintball guns for actual ones in that one scene in season 1, the bit in season 2 where he’s high off his ass on laudanum and OUTRAGEOUSLY Scottish (that scene is probably also my favourite Crowley outfit ever), the BURNING BENTLEY THING!!! LIKE YESSSSSS GIMME THE CROWLEY THAT HAS FIRE IN HIS EYES AND IDEAS LIKE NEBULAE IN HIS HEAD
3 snz/adjacent headcanons
If there’s one thing I love about this corner of the fandom it’s the fact that we are CREATIVE when it comes to how demonic biology can be used to our advantage for these kinds of headcanons. I also love how so many things have been accepted as basically canon to most of us (the idea of the words "bless you" setting him off, the church incense thing, him hissing when he sneezes, etc)
However it does mean that for the purposes of this ask game I'm gonna try and come up with new things or at the very least ones I don’t see as often
How he sneezes will depend on the situation. I feel like he gets mocked in Hell for showing any kind of weakness (god forBID he caught a cold from a human, Hastur wouldn’t ever let him hear the end of it) so he tries his best to hold them back or at the very least make them quieter most of the time. He only feels truly safe when he’s with Aziraphale, so Aziraphale is the only one he’ll willingly sneeze openly in front of (though it took him several decades, if not centuries, to stop reflexively apologising around him)
I think it’d track for him to be photic - it’d give an excuse for the constant sunglasses that’d make sense to any unassuming humans, that’s for sure. Also there’s a kind of twisted irony about the angel who made the stars being cursed with the photic reflex after the Fall.
His Bentley knows when he isn’t feeling well. It turns down the volume on the stereo and tints the windows to ease Crowley’s headaches, heats the interior to alleviate his shivering, and, on more than one occasion, has driven itself to the local pharmacy despite Crowley’s insistence that he’s fine.
3 snz/adhacent prompts/scenarios
This one’s weirdly specific but Crowley would NOT do well in certain parts of Ireland, particularly places with prominent religious associations (e.g. Knock, Lough Derg, Croagh Patrick). That is to say, he’d be horrendously allergic to such places. But of course if Aziraphale wanted to go, Crowley’s simply too in love to say no...
There’s a moment in the book, at the bit where the M25 is on fire, where thermometers read the fire as both insanely hot AND insanely cold simultaneously (i can't remember the numbers in the book off the top of my head and i cannot be bothered to check at the moment). So consider Crowley catches some awful sickness from Hell, and it doesn’t function entirely like human illnesses do. Some of the symptoms are similar - but the fever shouldn’t be causing the thermometer to switch between 15°C and 47°C (neither of which are good temperatures for a person to be of course!) while Crowley sweats and shivers and Aziraphale panics over him.
When Crowley goes to Heaven disguised as an angel near the end of Season 2 he thinks it’ll be a walk in the park because the whole body-swap business went so swimmingly. However. That was him in Aziraphale’s body. Crowley’s body, on the other hand, is rather sensitive to Heaven, I think, and he had to desperately try to stifle his sneezes (but they echoed off the walls anyways because Heaven is an open-plan office building). Yes this DOES also mean that when he goes up there with Aziraphale in Season 3 the same thing happens, and he’d just be standing off to the side absolutely mortified.
Wait, okay, random fun fact: you guys managed to send asks for every TAD/C character in the main cast not only without a single repeat (even with some time in inbox before being answered), but as @very-freakin-effable pointed out when I mentioned it to them, in almost completely perfect order for the timeline of when the chars entered the circus lmaoo?
Literally aside from Ca/ine not being first (5th out of 7), I got asks for everyone in EXACT order of circus arrival, like starting with King/er, ending with P/om/ni, and everyone in the middle in the same order, which is just kind of a fun coincidence to me lol considering that’s entirely unintentional and from several people over a course of several days
I just wanted to thank you for your 3x3 ask game, it’s been such a delight this past week to both answer and read other peoples’ answers and character love and creativity and all that so thank you for brightening up our dashes with it!! 🥰✨
Awwww wait omg this is so so sweet?? 😭😭🥺 Like, awwww, thank you so much for this extremely lovely ask!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 I’m really glad to hear that it’s been brightening your week!
I’ve honestly been really surprised by how many people have been interested in doing the ask game or sending asks to others for it. 🥺 I’ve been having a lot of fun reading people talk about their blorbos and share ideas about them too! I’m excited to catch up on more of it when I get the chance, I’m a bit behind lol.
Tysm again, this is so so very sweet and I’m really glad you’ve been having fun with it!! 🥺🥰
Hiya! Saw your tags and I’m admittedly not super familiar with DM/MD, but I’d genuinely love to learn a little more about it if you’d like to do 1+ of your faves from it for the 3x3 asks? :D ❤️
ohhh my goodness you are enabling me so much… thank you for the ask hehehe
(under the cut bc ill probably talk a lot lol)
Ok. SO!!!! im gonna do a brief explanation of the character instead of the 3 things i like :3 dmmd IS an 18+ porn visual novel however. pretty intense content as well. its definitely not everyones cup of tea and thats ok!!! but u can stilll observe the guys from afar…
first off aoba… aka yaoi jesus if that means anything to u!! he is the protag and im gonna also do my two favorite love interests… idk struggling to describe aoba because hes a rly well rounded character. absolute sweetie but also very stubborn… i have a fic or two published for him and hachi has also drawn him before bc i commed him lol
heres some pictures. cutie right?
3 sneeze headcanons… first off i do NOT play about him having hayfever. its basically canon to me. and i think he gets super complainy about it. two he has really cute soft sneezes which is canon but like its sooo good. its so endearing. i have the video somewhere if anyone wants it but its the type thats kind of like (h’ksch!) and sniffles after its sooo cute. i think hes also the type to usually catch at least one cold when its chilly out in winter. + would try to go to work anyway. and lastly i think hes very much the type that tries to bring his hand(s) up to his face but isnt 100% successful :3
bonus for aoba in one of the other routes he moves to another country in Europe with another love interest. and i have been thinking so hard lately about him still learning the language and someone says bless you to him and hes confused on what theyre saying (and maybe a little embarrassed about the attention when it keeps happening!) and once his bf explains to him that it means good health he doesnt totally get it and goes out of his way to explain hes fine/healthy and its omly allergies heheheheh.
————————
next koujaku!!!! hes aobas childhood friend and oh my god they make me sickeningly sickeningly insane. aoba is the first man hes ever liked but he falls hard in love with him and is usually super suave with ladies but all cute and cautious with aoba. they act like awkward highschoolers in love even though they were childhood best friends <3 and every time they have sex koujaku insists on holding aobas hand when he cums:)
sooo handsome…
for koujaku right off the bat he sneezes really loud but really politely. the type of sneeze thats definitely considered an outburst but he makes SURE to sneeze into his elbow and apologizes kind of sheepishly after if its interrupting sometjing quiet. i think he doesn’t get sick a lot but when he does it hits him harrrd. + i think the scar on his nose definitely didnt heal right so hes susceptible sinus infections heheh. also bc im greedy one of my hcs with him and aoba is that he DEFINITELY has some sort of cologne/comes home with one that aoba is allergic to at one point. and/or hes a bit sensitive to whatever fragrance koujaku usually wears and will sneeze going in the bathroom right after or really burying his face into koujaku after he puts it on/spraying it directly >3<
i also want to do ren but explaining ren is hard. and im lazy. hes a good boy i promise
my most darling ren. theyre so in love theyre like amoebas clung together
the tagline of dmmd is literally “brain breaking visual novel” it is explicit nsfw as well as a lot of dark themes. it is not for everyone and Absolutely do not read it as your first visual novel 🙏🙏 it came out in 2013 and here i am in the lords wonderful year of 2026
HOW EVER. there is a sfw anime thats kind of mid standalone but like. you can check it out if u want to see the characters. !!!!! :Ddd ok yay
Hiya! Tysm for the ask! I have not, and I’m happy to do so :) ❤️❤️❤️ spoilers for the TAD/C finale below~
3 things I like about Gangle:
1. Her voice omg she’s so sad and precious my poor girl 😭😭😭 every word she ever says is just so endearing
2. I love her character design!! The comedy and tragedy masks (+ manic mask) and the ribbons?? That’s really interesting and aesthetically nice! And the way her ribbons move is just fascinating to watch like seeing how much weight and shape they’re given. The effects of the masks on her is also really fun to me, as well as maybe an interesting analogy for her being bipolar/having a somewhat similarly presenting mood disorder if that’s the case for her
3. Abs/tragedy!!! She’s so fucking cute with Zoo/ble 🥺🥰🥰
4. I like her art a lot 🥺 and I love how much she loves making it
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. Gangle’s extra unsteady on her feet when feverish because her whole body is made of ribbons, which are super lightweight. So, she’s more prone to losing her balance. If Jax gives her a light shove, Ragatha puts a hand on her shoulder in sympathy, or Zooble tries to guide her by the hand to her room to rest, etc., Gangle might surprise them by fully falling over (and maybe breaking her comedy mask in the process) as if her ribbons just are barely supporting the weight of her body. Maybe even that her ribbons are a little uhh less able to hold tension if that makes sense? Slightly closer to normal ribbons than fully controllable living ribbons that can hold objects well.
2. Her hitches sound a little like when she cries lol? Sometimes they’re really breathy, but oftentimes they’re more so very vocal whimpers and whines. The others at the Circus sometimes mistake it as her crying. 🥺🥺
3. Sometimes it’s a looot of drama and buildup for just one (1) little sneeze. Sometimes it’s a sudden hitch that throws her into a rapid fit of ticklish sneezes. It varies for her. On rare occasions, she can actually sneeze fairly loud, and she is immediately mortified by it and apologizes.
4. The most pitiful when ill that anyone has ever seen. Little whimpers of discomfort. Shaking like a leaf because she weighs as much as one. Fever blush is extremely prominent on her white porcelain masks. Sniffling. Just kind of very sad and wanting comfort, which she absolutely gets, especially from Zooble, but also from Pomni and Ragatha.
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. This is kind of silly hours, but I’m imagining her sitting at the café counter or at a table, kind of slumped over it a bit maybe with her head resting in her hands. But she sneezes and accidentally hits her head on the counter, and even if it was pretty gentle, it breaks her comedy mask lol. And she makes a pitiful little sound of misery about it. 🥺 If Jax is there, she laughs at Gangle. If Zooble is there, they chuckle fondly and murmur a gentle, surprised “bless you.”
2. Post-finale, Gangle comes down with an awful cold. Caine tries to help because one of his humans—friends, now—is?? Suffering?? He can help he wants to help how can he help?? Especially since the group isn’t sure if Caine might be a little more resistant to catching her cold due to being an AI and how much power he used to have, but he’s less powerful now tbf. Gangle’s wrapped up miserably in bed and Caine’s just like “I’m, uh… sorry I can’t be of much help, especially without some of the power I used to have… but, uhhh… would it… make you feel any better to draw together again o-or anything else? 🥺” And Gangle’s like, “It’s okay, really, sndff. Drawing does sound nice, actually. I’ve been kind of bored with nothing to do.”
And they draw together for a while and Caine conjures anything she needs and is kind of so eager to be helpful that he has to be told to tone it down lol. Like he checks in SO frequently and also tries to bless every single one of her sneezes, even through a long rapid fit. So, she has to tell him she appreciates it, but usually you can just bless someone like once or twice for that and he nods and does his best to adjust to the new information about human interaction. In the next day or two, Gangle’s still sick but doing much better! Aaand Caine appears to have caught what she had and is now really sick. Gangle invites him to draw together again if he needs something to do or wants company, and he’s sooo touched by it, especially with the fever.
3. Gangle gets soaked in cold water during an adventure, e.g. falling into a frozen lake when the ice breaks (which is awful luck for her because again she weighs like 2lb at MOST she’s even barely touching it), out in the rain, some of the adventure is underwater, etc. Her ribbons take a while to dry off, and until they do she really is soaked to the bone and shivering. She ends up catching cold from it, maybe even while still on the adventure. Zooble notices and tries to help her warm up, but it’s already too late. They still try to look after her though. 🥺
4. Post-finale, Gangle takes care of Zooble when they’re sick, and, as Zooble was worried about, she ends up catching it. At least now they can cuddle since they’re both sick!
Bonus 3x3 ask for A/star/ion from B/G/3 as requested by @snezario ❤️❣️ Spoilers for his storylines below!
3 things I like about him:
1. My GOD was I down so horrendously for this man jfc. Flirtatious vampire with a pretty voice and a silver tongue who’s also very silly and vulnerable and sad?? You can FIX HIM? And if you DON’T, then he’s not only much more evil-aligned but just constantly giving dom energy because he views himself as above everyone else and treats you as his precious “treasure” to possess and play with as he pleases? Well, sure, if it means I can take him to dinner (/ref)!!! I went spawn route both times and would prooobably do so if I did another playthrough, but oh boy did I know a lot of ascended route dialogue by heart from clips lmaoo. Especially in that low purr tone of voice in that pretty accent?? I absolutely died lmao. Anywayyys, I went for the fix him route and ooough I love a character who’s been closed off and maybe a little more immoral starting to open up and care more and try to help people omggg! And he’s so charming and funny and also again very silly and I was SOOO obsessed with him for a while let me fuckin tell you, that was part of what got me more active on tumblr a couple years ago lol
2. Spawn route, I played through all of Cazador and the graveyard romance scene in one sitting with my best friend, ending at like 4am. And that has gone down in history for me as some of the most emotionally affected and mushy I’ve felt with any video game lmao, as well as lowkey the most parasocial look it was 4am okay it was late I may or may not have been slightly too 🥺🥹🥰 about the graveyard scene especially the “I love you” shhh dw about it lol. There’s something so sentimental to me about the option you have to leave a flower on his grave while right in front of him. Like it could be a little sign of care and sympathy for the person he once was but also a display of support and closeness to who he is now and just!! Something about placing a flower on an undead’s grave while that undead is watching. Is such a gesture to me. Also fucking/making out (I’m ace and am iffy on the former lol) with a vampire on his own grave is kinda hot. But no genuinely the sentiment of growth and hope for the future and contentment in the present despite having suffered hit me so goddamn hard that it fixed me for like two weeks LMAOO. I was like okay instead of staying inside I’m going to go on some long walks exploring nearby areas and marveling at the autumn leaves
3. He’s just so funny to me. Icon. The sHaPeChAnGeR line is iconic, what a dork. Most of the reactions he has to Durge killing Alfira take me OUT like: “[after being told you killed her because she annoyed you] I see. That does sound pretty reasonable, actually. :)” “[upon being told you don’t remember why you killed her] Look, I-I know I have a,,, casual relationship with murder. I don’t remember everyone I’ve killed. But I do remember everyone I’ve killed in the last five minutes! >:(” “[if you say maybe you did the right thing even though you don’t remember] Stabbing someone a dozen times can be many things, but ‘the right thing’ to do, :) mnnhh, >:( I doubt it.” His reactions to getting blown up in the sun god’s temple are also hilarious. I also just like him deescalating a situation where blades are drawn like “now, now, let’s not do anything hilarious.” He’s sillyyyyy smth smth Morticia Addams “what do you see in that guy?” “He makes me laugh”
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. Vampire shenanigans could make him sensitive/allergic to holy incense, maybe especially for the sun god? Could also be set off by the flowers of garlic plants? Could be photic?
2. Handles cold temperatures the worst in the party because local vampire doesn’t even have as much blood running through his veins to help—his undead body is worse at temperature regulation. May stick closer to Karlach for warmth 🥺 (we did lowkey see him tolerate snowy conditions the worst and be kept warm by Karlach in one of the animated shorts they did, and although it was very silly hours I was like oh heyyy well THAT’S in line with what I’ve been writing lmaoo). Prime real estate to have him come down with a cold :3
3. ESPECIALLY earlier on with the party, he hides illnesses and allergies as best he can, particularly the former. It’s on instinct even. He can’t offer up any signs of weakness or vulnerability to others because he can’t trust others. He’s used to vulnerabilities being used against him by Cazador. It takes him a while to get used to being open about feeling like shit and needing to rest before continuing on with the adventure. Also, he stays safe by keeping control over people with his charm, and being a sick mess isn’t very sexy to most people (there are exceptions though ofc lol ✌️)
4. World record for holdbacks and stifling. Resident rogue (who’s, again, used to unsafe conditions 😭) is VERY good at keeping quiet when he wants to be. It’s harder if it’s something like the first ideas in this section because he’s a little more helpless if it’s just a matter of his vampiric body rejecting something on such a deep level.
5. When NOT stifling, this drama king is, in fact, hitchy and dramatic. Increasingly needy wavers of breath that are eventually followed by sneezes that vary on the spectrum between sounding ticklish and sounding forceful (or both!). If it’s just a one-off or if it’s sudden, he sneezes into the crook of his elbow or into his shoulder, mayyybe into the back of his wrist. Otherwise, he tries to cover into a handkerchief, which is either snow white or blood red lmao, possibly with some fancy detailing or even bordered with lace.
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. I have to bring up sneezing while hiding for the rogue okay. I think he would do pretty well if it was just a surplus of dust getting to him, but eventually maybe that control over himself could slip. If it’s something that disagrees with him on a base level as a vampire, then he struggles much more.
2. Maybe while the party is exploring a snowy forest, damp cave system, or the Underdark, etc., Astarion comes down with a cold/flu and tries his very best to hide it the entire day, keeping a little more to himself and being quieter than usual. He tries to play it off like he’s just in a bad mood and keeps his distance to try to avoid getting anyone else sick. Maybe some party members do get kind of annoyed with him for being bristly. Eventually, though, either one party member clocks him due to being quite observant and/or because they know him so well OR he fails to hide it and it becomes suddenly very clear to everyone at the same time, e.g. bad sneezing/coughing fit or even feverish sway/fainting if he’s really sick 🥺
3. Astarion is not really used to taking care of people! He was kind of an arrogant bitch before death, and since death he’s been stuck with Cazador or busy doing the games’ main quests. At some point, though, a party member falls ill. Not his problem per se, the others are taking quite good care of them… until pretty much everyone else catches it. And only our rogue who was like “eugh, keep your distance. I do not want whatever disease you’ve managed to pick up” and stayed far away is unscathed. So, he suddenly and reluctantly finds himself in the very new position of caretaking not just for one person but the whole group (main OR extended camp members). When he inevitably catches it, the others return the favor. 🥰
4. The party attends an event, possibly a masquerade ball, at a manor to investigate some suspicious rumors about the host(s). Unfortunately, said host(s) are very, very devout worshippers of Lathander, and there’s holy incense everywhere. And holy incense from a god of the sun is particularly troublesome for Astarion, who lies to the concerned hosts and says he’s merely catching cold. This is a problem the entire mission, including whether he was meant to be charming someone into giving away information or being stealthy. Poor thing is struggling to keep it together, but he’s essentially allergic to this sweet-smelling scent permeating the entire building, so he’s falling apart more and more and more as time goes on.
for the ask game: since you already did vox and alastor, might i propose murdermedia version? otherwise, i would love to hear your astari/on thoughts!!!
Hi, Mal!! :D 💜💜💜 Tysm for the ask! I would love to do all three tbh! I think I’ll do Murder/med/ia here and A/star/ion in another post just in case anyone’s mostly interested in one of the two fandoms, especially since oooooh boy did this one get long 😅😅😅 feel completely free to skim lol
Human Alastor———
3 things I like about him:
1. I was so absolutely gagged by the reveal that he had actually contacted Hell (Rosie!!!!!! My beloved! Genuinely coincidental for username lol) before death to make a deal because he knew damn well he wasn’t going Up Thereee🎶 lmao. Like I was Not expecting that for anyone and it’s really cool to me! We kinda knew Al was a serial killer and prob cannibal in life, but there’s something about the whole “I want to continue my fun” that’s an extra layer of Yikes (affectionate) for me lol.
Like you believe you’ll go to Hell and one of your main reactions to that is Well I’d Better Ensure I Can Keep Killing People lmao (and obviously blah blah safety blah blah control)? Contacting Hell through a radio is also really cool and on brand, especially when it works! And although mayyybe could’ve asked for a little more specifics, he plays it pretty cool for Talking To A Literal Demon In Literal Hell
2. His character design! This version is pretty high on my list of chars I might want to cosplay, especially since 1) some gender envy 2) tbf it’s just easier to cosplay and 3) it’s a little similar to Box Vox’s outfit and I Did Actually cosplay him so lol a couple of the things I was missing I do have. But yeah his hair is pretty, I like the glasses both for aesthetics and as a nice precursor to his monocle in Hell, and I do really like his outfit in general
3. I kinda love the duality of him being so put-together and charming but also having that much much darker side
4. For Murdermedia, I love when he pretends not to care about Vincent as much as he does. Tsundere behavior. Used to not letting anyone close, takes some time to wear those walls down, especially if he hasn’t had anyone close in this way before
Honorable mention. Big fan of him being obsessed with radio enough and in the worst place at the worst time to die in such a way that he becomes so very shaped in Hell lmaoo
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. If Alastor admits to feeling unwell with no coyness nor even anger nor complaints, JUST out of genuine misery or as an update, that’s a terrible sign. He’s very, VERY sick. If it’s an update that’s not just to tell Vincent to keep his distance, that’s because he’s so sick that it’d be wise to let someone know about it because he might need their help. That is an SOS, Vincent go help steady him—or bridal carry him!—on his way to bed and get some meds in him to reduce that fever ASAP
2. Still tries to keep up appearances and preserve his dignity as much as he can while sick—he has to be in dire fucking straits to fully abandon his pride
3. Local radio host hates losing his voice, even more than Vincent does. In addition to the obvious reasons of why Al’s voice is important to him, he also just hates not feeling in control.
4. Very attentive caretaker despite trying to play it off as Not As Worried As He Is! Keeps track of Vincent’s fevers and makes him soup or gumbo. Makes him rest, which is something really ONLY Alastor can get him to do
5. Extremely good at holdbacks and stifling, as well as hiding illness or allergies
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. Luring out and murdering some rude snob gets impeded by said rude snob’s cologne getting to Al. Bonus points if Vincent’s here and Al has to reassure him that he’s not coming down with something. Vincent offers to finish the job, but Alastor insists upon doing it himself, meanwhile the poor victim is just listening to these two fret over each other and bicker lmaoo
2. Alastor comes down with a cold/flu and does an absolutely remarkable job of hiding it all day long, even throughout his radio show. He’s certain no one’s the wiser, only to come home to several cans of chicken noodle soup from like five different brands on the counter, a teapot already boiling, more cold and flu meds than one person could ever need, and a Vincent who seems both happy to see him as always but is also giving him a concerned pout. Turns out only one (1) person knows him well enough to pick up on the slightest, subtlest clues of illness in his voice and mannerisms during his radio show.
Alastor pretends to be more annoyed at the overdramatic reaction, but his usually cold dead heart is actually extremely warm and fuzzy right now. He asks whether it was really that obvious or just makes some coy comment about how Vincent must have been paying such close attention to his show, really just to prompt Vincent into confirming that Al was NOT obvious on air earlier. Vincent is the only one who would notice Alastor hiding an illness, but luckily for them both, he’s also the only one Alastor is all right with knowing it and taking care of him 🥰🥰🥰
3. Alastor’s sick but has to attend an event regardless, especially since he’s not given anywhere near the amount of leeway for things as Vincent is allowed not only for being so popular as an entertainer but also just for being a white man. Vincent has no need to skip the event though since he’s perfectly healthy, so he spends the entire time in guard dog mode. Alastor’s just trying to get through the event while hiding his illness and keeping up appearances. Meanwhile, if ANYONE EVER seems to be bothering Al for one singular moment, Vincent is behind them in an instant, making a passive aggressive comment to put them back in their place with a charming smile or distracting them with talking business and leading them away. Al really appreciates it because while he absolutely can handle himself just fine, he also is exhausted and has a headache and really wants to deal with people as little as possible until the event ends and he can go home.
4. They get unexpectedly snowed in at Al’s murder cabin in the woods after committing a murder in said woods!! And one or both of them start coming down with a cold, but they don’t have everything they would usually like to have on hand when sick 🥺 like they don’t have as many handkerchiefs as they’ll need. Alastor can eat their victim if he wants, but Vincent will NOT tyvm lmaoo. They could be extra cuddly by the fireplace for warmth even if that might risk contagion. This could actually be really fluffy OR kind of angsty if they’re stuck there but one of them is rly feverish so the other is extremely worried about them. Like they don’t have meds or anything and they’re trying to balance keeping them warm but also bringing down their fever (kind of corny but could wrap some snow up in a towel/scarf/etc to use as a cold compress potentially?) and they feel a little powerless to help because they can’t exactly drag their barely-lucid partner through a fucking snowstorm in the dark allll the way home and they can’t just leave them here to try to do that on their own either. Very, very concerned and restless keeping an eye on them and doing whatever little they can to help 😭🥺🥺🥺
5. I talk about kink!Al pitches in Vincent’s section, but I’ll put kink!Al being the one induced here. Soo. Maybe they start out experimenting with Al inducing Vincent. But then, while they’re having fun with that, Vincent asks, “Y’know, actually, I was wondering, is… is this sort of setup the way you, uh, prefer to do all this? Or, uh, did you want me to try making you sneeze or something?”
And Alastor is caught very off guard by this and goes 0v0 like eyes widen, smile widens, face warms with blush, deer in headlights. And Vincent just chuckles fondly and says, “Well, I’ll take that as a yes, huh?” And Alastor tries to play it off with a casual “hmm, perhaps sometime,” but it’s already been made so clear how tempted he is by the idea. So, if maybe Alastor’s been sitting on Vincent’s lap, Vincent flips him over, pins him down, and hesitates a moment because a) he’s so very into Alastor, and he has to take a second to admire the image of him underneath him looking up at him with want in his eyes and b) he has never tried inducing someone before and feels kinda awkward LMAO but hey if Al’s into it then he’s into it too. In fact, he gets really sold on it because the concept of turning Alastor on by making him lose his perfect control over himself, indulging his kink that he’s never explored with anyone else before—Vincent is beyond happy to do so omg.
Maybe Al likes being on this side of it more than he expected because he’s such a sadist, buuut smth smth s2e4, being a brat IS kind of his thing, isn’t it? Maybe he didn’t expect to be so affected by being forced to let go of his control over himself for once, and the “aww, bless you”s from Vincent are NOT helping lol. On a slightly sillier note, maybe Vincent feels kinda vindicated that Alastor’s failing to hold back too lmao like “yeah, see? It’s a lot harder to hold that back than it looks, isn’t it??” Like if Al had teased him about it before lol. Still, Al does do better than him at holding back when he tries to abskfhwkshs
Human Vox aka Vincent Whittman———
3 things I like about him:
1. Dork. Shark-loving dork. The lil pins on his lapel and his sparkly outfit at the end with shark tail-shaped coattails and actually his whole setup in that scene! He pitched Shark Week decades before it started irl on his vision board. Honestly, a few of his choices of murder method were a little dorky lol like the shark tank one and the wheel. I wuv himmm
2. Speaking of murder lmao, some of the more violent ones did make me go “ohh shit :O :D” ahdkwhdkahdjs like the stage light one and the hanging via microphone cable, the latter especially because of the swinging bodies being used as a transition to show present day Vox
3. I love that he’s so so driven on pursuing his own ambition that not only is anyone in his way in danger, but he wears himself down (did not look okay towards the end there lol) and inevitably flies a little too close to the sun and is responsible for his own downfall, much like Vox in s2
4. For Murdermedia, I love Vincent being down fucking atrocious for Al lmaoo. Like local self-absorbed big shot with a budding god complex, whom I usually hc as not letting anyone close because he sees himself as above others too much smth smth lonely at the top, now having someone close and he is. HEAD 👏 OVER 👏 HEELS 👏 for him. I love when fans have Al be extremely violent and sadistic and Vincent’s just watching like 😳🥵🫠😍🥰 lmaoo like that’s just so fun and funny to me
Honorable mention. I’m a huge fan of Vincent being enough of a reckless dork to wear a shark-inspired outfit and shark pin in an abandoned aquarium with 50 CRT TVs each strung up by two of the loosest cables known to mankind dangling from the ceiling, including putting one of the more suitable TV designs riiiiight above his head. Because thanks to that specific wild setup he becomes SOOO SHAPED in Hell with such fun lil abilities so tysm Vincent for your sacrifice LMAOO 😭🩵
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. Doesn’t get sick very often, but when he does, it hits him hard. Especially because he continues to run himself into the ground despite needing to rest. He haaates being unable to work and chase his ambition. He’s so mad at whoever got him sick that they may want to get their affairs in order lol. However, being a Fucking Creep who tends to get in others’ personal space and casually touch them does NOT do him any favors during cold and flu season sometimes, especially if he doesn’t realize that person is sick
2. Tries sooo much to deny being sick to everyone, including to himself. Tries to keep up his Perfect Image, only to soon cave and pathetically mope to Al about how shitty he feels
3. Wants attention and affection even more when sick! Though he mumbles something like “mmh, you should probably keep your distance though. I don’t want you to get this,” he says it with all the misery of someone partially hoping to be disagreed with lol. Like he protests a bit when Al does come too close, but he’s also sooo glad to have that affection. If Vincent’s lucky, Alastor lets him rest his head on his lap, maybe running his hand through Vincent’s hair 🥺
4. Local yapper and entertainer reallllly doesn’t like losing his voice, the very thing he will later claim to be for the public and name himself after in Hell. In fact, if he’s feverish, he might even shed some tears over it, feeling frustrated and insecure
5. Could be very fitting for Mr. Newer Bigger Brighter to be allergic to dust, the very thing that accumulates when things are old or unchanged for some time. And ofc maybe worse with it in Hell because TVs are kinda well known to not mix well with too much dust, annnnd depending on how we hc his gills they might only make him more exposed to it
6. Bad at holdbacks and stifling. Tries really hard to maintain his pride and does okay at first, buuut soon loses control of himself as he tends to in general
7. When Al’s sick, he gets met with sad puppy dog eyes from Vincent, offers to murder whoever got him sick, overly frequent check-ins, refusals to keep distance, as much affection as Al allows, etc. And that’s all nice and lovely until the very next day, when Vincent inevitably comes down with what Al has But Worse Than He Has It and handled with much less grace lmao. Vincent still tries to ignore his own health to take care of Alastor, but Al makes him lay tf back down and begrudgingly—though fondly—is mostly the one taking care of both of them
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. Vincent accompanies Alastor to a library or antique store, only to take rather poorly to all the dust. It starts out manageable, just sniffling and roughly rubbing at his nose, which he shouldn’t do given that he has dust on his hands, but Alastor has to point that out to him a little later. Then, it’s a quiet hitch that he can’t keep fully silent, followed immediately by a couple half-stifled sneezes muffled into his sleeve. Alastor gives him a smile that’s some mixture of amused and judgmental, but he blesses him. Only a minute later, Vincent sneezes again, still desperately muffled into his sleeve but not stifled at all, and Alastor blesses him more pointedly and offers him a handkerchief. Soon, Vincent fully fails to keep it quiet at all, even his hitches growing sharp and urgent.
If they’re not at a library, eventually Alastor guides him outside with a hand on his back to practically shove him out of the door to get some fresh air, then casually returns to quickly wrap up his business and comes outside to check on his poor partner whose nose has become quite red and still very itchy, if the ticklish yet forceful fits into his borrowed handkerchief are any indication. If they ARE at a library, then Alastor has been getting progressively annoyed with this loser failing to be quiet for once in his life lmao, and said loser is extra embarrassed and mutters occasional apologies in between sneezes. Alastor tells him something like, “Vincent, if you must overreact to what’s merely a little dust—” pauses as Vincent sneezes again as if just the mention of it is enough to set him off again “—can’t you at least be quieter about it?” Vincent replies that he’s TRYING to be quiet but can’t help it, and since that response is given through another loud fit and he trails off overcome by it, Alastor decides it’s time to leave and damn near drags him out of the premises lmaoo
2. Alastor decides to teach Vincent how to cook some favorite meals of his because he thinks Vincent’s taste is Boring. However, maybe a dish he shows him/guides him to make happens to have certain spices that happen to get into the air too much, maybe especially if there was a mishap while they were bickering. It’s more likely Vincent whose nose gets irritated by it, but I will say that it might be funnier if Alastor’s the only one affected or at least the most affected lmaoo, since Al’s just gone on and on about how used to preparing this dish he has so surely he should tolerate a bit of the spices involved? At least better than local guy whose last name is one letter off from just being Whiteman lmao?
3. Alastor’s been extremely busy and distracted as of late, and Vincent is desperate for attention. Alastor makes the mistake of advising Vincent to be cautious about the current cold and flu season and bringing up what a mess Vincent was the last time he came down with something. It’s a mistake just because Vincent remembers how much attention and affection he got from Alastor that last time he was sick, and this leads him to have Stupid Ideas. Either A) he actually intentionally catches something or B) he pretends to get sick just for one night, since he doesn’t actually want to feel shitty, disrupt his work, or infect Alastor. For route A, Alastor would be so very exasperated if Vincent ever gave away that it was intentional.
For route B, maybe Vincent is just so the type to get carried away with things that he overcommits to the bit and pretends to be sick enough that it’s unreasonable for him to be completely better the next day, since he intends to say he just fought it off. And that gets him caught. Espeeecially if maybe Alastor actually does get sick that very same next day and when he complains that Vincent got him sick, Vincent absolutely fails the deception check and is too guilty and surprised about it + is like oh shit sorry but I think I was just a little off last night I’m fine now. And maybe Alastor tells him to come closer and surprises him with a kiss… only to then tell him, “There. I thought I’d save you the trouble of lying to me about being sick. Now, you actually will be! :)))” (this may or may not just be based on a dialogue thing I wrote and then have been slowly turning into a short proper fic lol)
4. Kink!Alastor is really fun here, especially because with really any era of two-sides/established relationship Radiostatic you want to do, you have NEVER seen a bitch as willing to indulge their partner as this fucking simp, Vincent, is. Alastor wants him?? Alastor wants to pay attention to him?? Alastor gets hot and bothered over him?? All he has to do is play along with a niche kink?? Absofuckinglutely he does his very best to please!!
Alastor induces him with a feather, dust, or (revolutionary ik) 1+ feather from a feather duster. And Vincent coughs a little and is like, “Fuck. Yeah, that’s de-hehhhh-finitely gonna… w-work—huhh-EHHZSHh! —Kzschh’huh!” And he sniffles and looks up at Al with big round eyes and it’s CLEARLY a vibe of was that good is that what you want I wanna do good for you
And Vincent craves attention and approval so much, ESPECIALLY from Al, that I feel like he would absolutely love being praised by him for doing a good job throughout the whole experience. Anything Alastor tells him to do is done immediately. Maybe after getting more acquainted with what Al likes, they can incorporate it into their generally more frequent dynamic of Vincent domming and Al being bratty (smth smth “being a brat is kind of your thing, isn’t it?” etc. although it’s not like he wouldn’t enjoy being switch with Al too like c’mon he’s down so bad)
5. This could go for either or both of them, but given their, uh, more murderous pastimes, one absolutely could get away with a snz while hiding scenario. Alone or together. For instance, maybe they’re hiding because their victim was supposed to be alone but someone else is Definitely There, so they slip into a closet thaaat’s a little too dusty for one or both of them. Maybe they’re out in the woods after having killed someone and they’re still covered in blood (which is! Quite incriminating!) when 1+ other person comes nearby (god forbid if they’re looking for the victim), so they hide behind some trees/bushes, but one or both of them take poorly to the pollen of the nearby flowers/trees/etc. Maybe in any situation, one or both of them are sick. You could mix and match even.
Either way, they’re probably kinda annoyed/exasperated with the other one having trouble keeping quiet, even if this is a scenario where BOTH of them are struggling to do so lol. They also might expect Alastor to be fine keeping quiet—and maybe he is at first, but as time goes on the odds are looking worse—and Vincent to fail so goddamn badly at it LMAO. Fun if they’re right, wrong, or anywhere in between. Also could be fun for kink!char for either of them.
In which Alastor tries so hard to hide being sick while held captive by the Vees and Vox is anything but normal about it.
C/W: Mess, sleep deprivation, themes of non-con, restraints, masks
AO3
I’ll keep your smug ass alive.
It turned out that being kept alive meant that and only that - being given the bare minimum of sleep, food, water, showers, or anything health promoting really. That combined with the crowds of demons constantly flocking in and out of the Tower meant that it was only a matter of ‘when’ and not ‘if’ Alastor would come down with something.
So it hadn’t been a total surprise when Alastor’s throat had started feeling scratchy. It had persisted well into the night and into the next day no matter how much he cleared his throat. The Vees seemed to pick up on how much he enjoyed his hot coffee and limited it to one measly mug with breakfast. Then came long the other symptoms that only promised more misery to come - the runny nose, coughing, sniffling, and -
“E’tscxxktt!”
That. He’d been doing that quite a bit today. It was getting near damn impossible to hold them back now, and much harder to restrain them with him unable to physically hold his nose. He sniffled softly, peaking over at Vox and Valentino in the bed to make sure they were still asleep. Luckily he still heard soft undisturbed snores.
They sure seem to be sleeping great.
Alastor stared longingly. So far the only thing that had given him slightly away was his dark eye bags. Vox was having too much fun with it. The TV demon had insisted on keeping Alastor up late last night as an ‘unwilling audience’ for his own personal speech rehearsals and waking him up every time Alastor started to nod off. It drove Alastor insane, but his smile never faltered.
Now it was cruel that Alastor’s own body itself had woken him back up sometime later in the night just to feel worse. He now felt achy, weak, and most dreadful of all - cold. Hell was hot; this was a well known fact. Yet he was shivering against the cords binding him to the chair.
Wonderful. Whatever this was seemed determined to stay and make itself known.
Alastor had been doing a good job of hiding this. He ate all his meals yesterday despite having no appetite. He carefully chose his words to not sound stuffy. He waited until the Vees were out of earshot to cough quietly.
But a fever?
Pushing through this would certainly be a challenge, he figured, though not something he couldn’t do. He’d hidden his wound and that had also been accompanied by a fever. A cold was nothing compared to that. Yes he’d have to literally grin and bear it, but it would all be worth it in the end.
“Hh-”
Alastor sniffled, tried to think about anything else as his nose tickled again, but there was only one way to make it truly go away.
“Atschkktt!”
His nose was not satisfied, and very keen on making this apparent.
“Heh’shxxt! Hhh’gxxtt!” N’sshxxt!!”
Vox shifted in his sleep and rolled over, but the two remained sound asleep. Alastor grinned arrogantly. No matter the circumstances, he was always the one in control. Some discomfort would never stand in the way of his ever so carefully crafted plan. Sick or not, he’d be the first one up again in the morning like he always was - ready to start his day still one step ahead of the Vees.
~
“I know he’s your toy to play with and all, but he looks very fuckable when he sleeps.”
“I got pics and vids at every angle! Want some with you in it?”
“Be quiet you two! The little radio baby’s sleeping!”
Hushed excited voices and mean snickers circled around Alastor until he finally stirred awake. He looked up to see the Vees all staring at him. The window shades were rolled up to reveal the bright red of another day in Hell, which was exactly how he felt.
“Aw man! I told you not to wake him up! I just got him down.” Vox laughed, leaning in towards Alastor with his hands on his hips. “Aww, are you mad we interrupted your little cat nap?”
“Fuck off Vox.” Alastor spat out, hesitant to test out his voice with anything more complex of a sentence.
“Well good morning to you too, sleeping beauty.” Vox mocked. “Is that any way to speak to the same people simply trying to make sure you don’t oversleep and miss breakfast?”
It’s not even oversleeping. It’s just sleeping at this point!
Alastor sniffed carefully and cleared his throat. “You talk big game - “ he paused. His voice sounded rough around the edges but nothing too noticeable as long as he was careful. “ - for someone whose job it is to make me breakfast.”
“You’re lucky we even feed you at all.” Vox said.
“The point still stands. You act as if you’re doing me a favor but the reality is that I get to relax while you slave away behind the stove. Who’s really the lucky one here?”
“For that attitude I don’t think he should get his coffee this morning.”
“That’s a great idea Velvette. I’m sure he wouldn’t want us to take away some of the food on his plate too.” Vox added, his tone icy.
Fuck. Forget the food. Coffee was the only thing that Alastor really needed. Every inch of his head pounded.
Vox smirked. “That’s what I thought. Val, get him ready would you? Wouldn’t want his breakfast getting cold.”
“Understood.” Valentino smiled and took a seat to scroll on his phone as the others left. He knew to take an extra long time so that by the time Alastor got to the table, the food would be nice and cold. When Alastor was finally taken to the bathroom for his five minutes (yes, it was timed) of privacy, he wasted no time blowing his nose and letting out desperate sneezes into the rough toilet paper.
“Hh’ZZSCHH! Es’hhSSHHehhh! H’ISSHHHuhhh!”
He cringed as he looked at his appearance in the mirror. He really didn’t look well at all. His nose and cheeks were turning red. Alastor grimaced. He knew what he had to do.
He was escorted to the kitchen where a meager breakfast was waiting for him. Not that he wanted it anyway. He could only choke down a few bites this time around before he was absolutely done. He handed over his full plate to Kitty.
“That was vile, Vox. Absolutely disgusting.” Alastor started, earning an irritated eye twitch in return.
“This isn’t a five star restaurant you ungrateful little prick. So sorry we didn’t look for a corpse for you.” Was Vox’s reply.
“A corpse would certainly have more flavor than that garbage you call food. I could give you directions to the nearest cemetery if you’d like.”
Vox stared at Alastor in what looked like deep thought. Vox was almost going to say something when Alastor beat him to it.
“Don’t tell me I already hurt your feelings today. I know you want to impress me so badly but you simply don’t stand a chance.”
Vox sighed as he tied Alastor back to the chair, a little tighter than before. Any thoughts on his mind were now long gone.
“Don’t be such a bitch today.” Vox said, his voice quieter than before. “I have some online meetings later and I don’t need you fucking them up.”
“Ooo, big scary tough meetings! From the comfort of your own office, that is. Tell me, Vox. Are you too afraid to face these oh so important people in person? Is that why you hide behind your silly little screens?”
“Could say the same about your stupid little radio shows. Too scared to show your face to the public, hm?”
“At least my face is worth showing to the public in the first place.”
“Oh yeah? Not for long.” Vox dug in his pocket and forced the frown mask onto Alastor’s face. At least he didn’t hang around his face for too long; too eager to stand back and admire his work.
“If you’re gonna be a brat and not shut the fuck up when I tell you to, then this is what we’re gonna do. I have too much to do today to deal with your petty little comments.”
Thank God.
With his face now covered, Alastor could relax a bit. For once he was happy to be put in his place. His face was safely concealed and he now had a legitimate reason to not speak. He was wheeled to Vox’s office and parked in his usual spot where he could try to discreetly rest in his chair.
Aside from the sounds of the keyboard clacking and mouse clicking, it was otherwise silent. Alastor was very grateful for this. The lack of caffeine on top of being sick made his head want to explode.
Not long into Vox’s first meeting did a problem begin to arise. The fabric covering Alastor’s face was making him sniffle like crazy. It was admittedly hard to breathe in the first place through the thick cloth even without a stuffy nose, and now every breath was devoted to trying to keep himself together.
Alastor couldn’t help but sneeze helplessly into the mask, a wet spot forming at the front. He cringed. Maybe he hadn’t completely thought this through.
Vox popped on the mute button and looked over in disgust.
“Shut the fuck up Alastor. I have that mask on you for a reason.” He unmuted and returned to his meeting.
The fit was over for now, leaving Alastor to sniffle quietly as the mess soaked the mask. He was so ready for this all to be over with already. Now that he thought about it, shouldn’t he have been granted immunity from all things illness if he was the strongest sinner in Hell? He’d have a strong word with Rosie once this was all said and done.
He felt like he needed to cough, but obviously wouldn’t allow himself to. His chest ached until it forced its way out, that too muffled into the mask. Vox looked over again, this time a peculiar expression on his face. Alastor glared as if daring him to say something until Vox returned his attention once again to whoever it was he was talking to.
The meetings dragged on and on, Alastor feeling steadily worse with each one. His muscles ached down to his bones and he was shaking again. He was sure his eyes looked dull and glassy from above the mask. Thankfully Vox was much too self absorbed to notice.
“They LOVE me, Al! They fucking love me!” Vox stood from his desk in a manic high, his eye swirling.
Alastor startled. He had zoned out, the world around him fuzzy.
“That could NOT have gone any better! It’s amazing what I can accomplish without you in the way! Now do you see any of the other Vees in here with me? Oh, you don’t? See! I can do things on my own!”
Vox started moving towards the chair.
Don’t you fucking do it you creep.
“I do have to give you some credit though. Ever since I captured you Voxtek has exploded in ratings.”
Please don’t.
Alastor tried to get away from the charismatic hands reaching for his shoulders. He’d already been pushing it close earlier with Vox getting the mask on but the risk had been worth it. This however would definitely give his fever away, no doubt about it.
“I still wonder what made you even make a deal like this to start with but who the fuck cares! I’m fucking famous!”
Alastor scooted back in his chair, but it was too late. Vox’s hands had already met his shoulders. Alastor froze as Vox stopped in his tracks.
“Wait. Am I crazy?” Vox grabbed Alastor’s arm and sure enough, the heat was consistent.
“Very. What's your point?”
Glitchy radio static sounded as Vox removed the mask and laid a hand on his forehead.
“What the - you’re hot? Why are you so hot?”
Alastor sharpened his grin. “Feeling forward today, aren’t we Vox?”
Vox flushed blue, a fun contrast to Alastor’s own red flush. “That’s not what I meant, you idiot! I mean you’re…hot.”
“It would seem as though your hands are quite cold.”
Vox shook his head as his hand migrated to Alastor’s jawline, studying his face closely. “No no. You are absolutely burning up. And you…are you pale? How the fuck is that even possible?”
“Must you insist on feeling up my entire body? If you really insist, they make special devices that tell people’s temperature without having to grope them.”
Alastor immediately regretted saying this when he saw Vox’s face light up.
“That’s actually not a bad idea.” Vox muttered. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere. HA! Not like you can anyway!”
Fuck. This really, really wasn’t good. Vox saw everything that even slightly resembled being human as a weakness. Even the first time that Alastor had asked for a bathroom break was a twenty minute long session of laughter and mocking. And now the freak was basically just served prime material for exploitation on a steaming silver platter.
Think Alastor, think!
There was no way that the number of the thermometer would be anywhere close to normal. What could be a good reason for that? A quirk of being based on a deer? What even was a normal temperature for a deer anyway? They’re mammals so it would be the same, right?
With his eyes closed, Alastor recognized the shuffle of familiar footsteps approaching him. But before he could even open them and talk his way out of this, he felt something cold and cylinder being shoved into his mouth. He immediately spit it out.
“What the fuck are you doing now?” Alastor snapped.
“What does it look like? I’m trying to take your temperature!”
“Well don’t!”
Vox picked up the thermometer off the ground and crossed his arms. “Or you’ll what? Hm?”
Trying to think of a reasonable threat through a headache proved to be impossible. The best Alastor could muster was a scowl.
Vox smirked. “That’s what I thought. Now open your mouth and no, I’m not cleaning it first. It’s your own damn fault the thermometer is covered in floor germs now.”
So in went the thermometer, Vox’s hand firmly holding it in place. Alastor felt his face heat up even more. He could only imagine what he looked like right now. And it was about to get worse. Of all the times for his nose to itch.
“How much…hh - l-longer?” Alastor asked with half lidded eyes, his consonants muffled from the device.
Vox waved a finger. “Ah ah ah. No talking ‘til it’s done.”
Alastor held his breath until the shrill of the beep signaled it was done. As soon as Vox took it out, Alastor just barely aimed towards his lap in time.
“Hhh’ESSHuhh!”
Vox visibility recoiled. “Real classy. My hand was right fucking there! You couldn’t have waited like three fucking seconds? God! Now let’s see,” his expression dropped. “Fuck you Al. It’s 101 even.”
Oh. Oh. That explained why he felt so shit. Alastor watched intently as Vox turned things over in his head.
“I thought you seemed kind of off earlier…” Vox trailed off, eyes darting to the side. If Alastor hadn’t known any better, he would have sworn Vox looked genuinely guilty.
“Eh’kesshhchh! Ekk’hSHHH!” At least this time Alastor had the decency to turn his head over his shoulder. For a cannibalistic serial killer, he did at least live by some manners. He sniffled thickly, panic in his eyes at the mess coming down with nothing to hide it.
“Okay, gross. I can’t watch this shit anymore.” Vox moved swiftly to untie the restraints. He shoved a tissue box from his desk in Alastor’s lap and sighed. “Well don’t just stare at them! I’d rather my hostage not snot all over himself. It looks bad.”
Alastor begrudgingly complied, his eyes fluttering shut once again into the crumpled up pile in his hands. “Hh’eshhmphh!”
“Wow. You are sick. No wonder…” Vox leaned against his desk in intense thought, his claws tapping against the wood. “What all is wrong?”
“Pardon?”
“Like your symptoms.”
“Need I remind you that - “
“That talking isn’t a part of the deal and blah blah blah I’m the great all powerful Radio Demon. We go through this every fucking day. I can’t help you if you don’t actually tell me what’s wrong.”
“Do you really think that I’d believe you actually want to help me and that this isn’t a ploy to think of more ways to torture me?”
“Maybe I was going to take pity on you and offer you an actual bed. A reprieve if you will. I’m supposed to keep you alive, not let you keel over from some stupid flu.” Vox grinned cruelly. “Or if it’s really not that bad, I can tie you back up and we can resume our activities as if nothing’s wrong. Your choice.”
“...”
“...”
“It’s just some stupid flu. You said so yourself.” Alastor grumbled.
“It’s just a simple question.”
“One that I am under no obligation to answer.”
“Why are you being such a shit? I’m trying to actually do something nice for you for once and you can’t even cooperate for thirty fucking seconds!”
The yelling was like an icepick in Alastor’s ears. He winced and saw Vox’s features soften, much to his own surprise. “Fine. If you really want to know, I have a terrible headache that you most certainly are not helping with.”
“Okay. It’s a start.” Vox said slowly, deciding to let the jab roll over his shoulders this time. “Well, staying here and yelling at me isn’t going to fix anything.”
“Fix it? No. Make me feel better? Perhaps.”
“What will make you actually feel better is rest. It’s not as fun with you already suffering from something else. It’s too easy.”
“Suffering is a very strong word to describe what’s merely a mild illness.”
“Call it whatever the fuck you want to call it. You still need to be in bed.” Vox sighed as if selling his own soul on purpose. “Get up. Let’s get this shit over with.”
Of course Alastor didn’t move.
“Now.”
“No.”
“And you said I’m giving you a headache? Get the fuck up Alastor!” Long black cords reached out to grab the deer and quite literally drag him down the hall to the bedroom - Vox’s bedroom.
“Can’t I have my own bed?” Damn his pride at this point. Alastor was begging, squirming against the wires carrying him into the bed of debauchery that most certainly had not been washed up to Alastor’s standards. Even being strapped to that chair again sounded like a better fate.
“You really think I would let you out of my sight like that? How else am I supposed to keep an eye on you?”
Alastor thought for a moment. “You seem to have forgotten that there’s already a second occupant that resides in this bed. What kind of guest would I be to kick his host out of his own bed?”
“Heh. Nice try. Val said he won’t be back from the studio until tomorrow. But come on! Doesn’t that feel better than the chair?”
Once the feelings of grossness melted away, Alastor did have to admit to himself that the soft mattress was worlds better than that uncomfortable cursed office chair. It had been so long that he’d almost forgotten what a real bed felt like. His achy stiff legs nearly jumped for joy at getting to stretch out. He wondered if he would have been granted this luxury earlier in the course of his illness if only he had said something sooner.
“That’s what I thought. Now can I trust you to lay there and not cause trouble or do I need to tie you to the bed too?”
Alastor paled. A chair was one thing where he at least had some mobility, but a whole bed? He quickly nodded, only to bury his face into his elbow without warning. “Esshuhhh!”
“Tch. Who am I kidding? You’re no threat. You’re absolutely pathetic right now.”
Vox spun around on his heel with a smug smile. He could feel the glaring red eyes digging a hole into his back, but simply waved a dismissive hand as he shut off the lights and excused himself out of the room.
With the TV bastard gone again, Alastor could finally try to get comfortable. Laying completely flat was hurting his sinuses, so he stacked the pillows so he was sleeping at least somewhat upright. If only he had an extra blanket or three. He was freezing even under the thick duvet.
Despite his discomfort, it didn’t take long to fall into a deep restorative sleep.
~
“Alastor…wake up…Al.”
Sharp claws were gently shaking Alastor’s overly warm shoulder. Alastor refused to open his eyes. This was the best sleep he had gotten in weeks and it still couldn’t have been for very long given how exhausted he still felt.
“You have to wake up. I have something for you.”
Through barely open eyes, Alastor made out a very worried looking Vox standing over him with a plastic bag in hand.
“I’m sure it can wait until after I’ve slept.” Alastor’s voice was low and hoarse, groggy with sleep, yet still commanding in its own way.
For some reason Vox didn’t seem to want to accept this as an answer. So persistent in getting him to open up his mouth and take a capful of something thick, syrupy, and nasty. But if taking it would mean that he would be left alone to properly nap, Alastor did as told and rolled back over on his other side to snore, as if obnoxiously on purpose. In the distance Vox was saying something else before sighing and stomping away.
~
The room was pitch black aside from a soft red glow attempting to enter through the closed window shades. Alastor sat up sharply, a damp wash cloth falling off of his forehead into his lap. He noticed extra weight on top of him and feared it was a form of restraints until he realized it was just extra blankets. As nice as it may be, a deep feeling of regret settled into his stomach as he realized the circumstances that brought him to this cursed bed in the first place.
Congested coughs began to rip out of his painfully dry and sore throat, painful and impossible to stop. Alastor startled out of his skin when Vox appeared out of seemingly nowhere to nudge a glass of water into his hands and rub between his shoulder blades.
“Geez. Breathe Al.”
Alastor shifted away from the hand on his back, not even completely sure where Vox was or where the hell he had come from. The water tasted heavenly and was too irresistible to not down it all. He had several questions but instead sneezed into the blankets.
“Hh’esSHHHhuhhh!”
“God, use the tissues. They’re there for a reason.” Vox popped on the lamp to reveal the nightstand covered in a tissue box, throat lozenges, a sports drink…in fact, it looked like a whole pharmacy exploded.
“This stuff wasn’t cheap you know, so you better learn to appreciate this.” Vox added.
You shouldn’t have. No really, you shouldn’t have.
“I s-I suppose-” The voice that came out of Alastor was hoarse, barely there, breaking with every syllable.
Vox raised an amused eyebrow. Alastor coughed harshly again.
“I suppose you’ve had your fun. Now let’s…fuck!” His voice was quiet before completely dissolving away.
“Now let’s fuck??”
Alastor shook his head in a frenzy. Words couldn’t come out, only rough squeaks. He desperately tried to emit his voice into a nearby device but even that was filled with too much glitchy static to be understood.
“No. Fucking. WAY!” Vox burst into over the top laughter that had Alastor admittedly jealous that he was even able to make such loud noise. “If only I got that on video! This is way too fucking good! I’ve genuinely prayed before for you to not be able to talk and you FINALLY lost your voice!”
This fell on completely flat ears.
“Maybe you wouldn’t have lost it if you hadn’t run your damn mouth so much earlier! I almost feel bad for you - except I don't!”
Alastor looked around to see if there was a conveniently placed notepad and pen. Of course there wasn’t. That would simply be too damn easy. He mimed the action of writing.
“I’m sorry, what is it you want? You’ll have to speak up. Oh wait! You can’t!” Vox fell into even more arrogant laughter.
Even as a human, Alastor was nothing without his voice. The whole reason he’d even taken a liking to hot tea in the first place was to keep his voice pristinely clear for his shows. Now in his afterlife, he thought his radio powers would always grant him a voice regardless of the circumstances.
Then again, this was hell after all.
“Hh’ISSHHHUH! I’tzzchh! E’eskhewww!” Alastor frantically searched for the tissues, loathing the judgmental eyes staring him down as he blew his nose. The worst part about this wasn’t even the illness; it was the freaking audience practically salivating at his every display. Only this time, the smirk watching him turned into a genuine frown.
“This is getting sad, even for you.”
There was no response. There couldn’t be.
“At the very least, you need to eat something. You slept through lunch and you hardly ate anything before that.”
Alastor glanced at the clock. It was a little after 8 pm, although it didn’t feel like it at all. He felt like he had slept for both twenty minutes and twenty years at the same time.
“Don’t worry. You’ll still sleep all night once you take the next dose of meds. It’s almost time for them but you can’t keep taking them on an empty stomach. I tried to get you to eat earlier but someone wanted to be difficult and sleep instead.”
Food did admittedly sound good. Not that Alastor would (or could) let Vox know that. His hopeful expression must have given him away though because Vox was quickly shuffling out of the room with a triumphant smile.
That bastard has to win everything, doesn’t he?
Much to Alastor’s surprise, he wasn’t brought the shitty scraps that they had been feeding him. It looked to be a proper meal - a sandwich and bowl of soup accompanied by a steaming mug. Alastor tried to smell the food to see if anything was off, but his nose was much too blocked.
If it was poisoned, Alastor didn’t even care. The tea was a wonderful blend of citrus and honey that coated his aching throat with every sip. The food was even better, and he quickly began eating as if Vox would take it away (which wasn’t that far-fetched of a fear, now that Alastor thought about it).
“Don’t get used to this.” Vox warned. Alastor tried to hide his enthusiasm, but he couldn’t help it. His smile was finally real. This was the best he’d felt in days, and that was saying a lot given how he still didn’t feel anywhere close to well. The tray was empty by the time he was done.
“Aw, looks like someone was hungry. My little pet loves his gourmet food, doesn’t he?”
Total silence except for Alastor narrowing his eyes. Vox seemed disappointed.
“Uh, right. Can’t talk.” Vox reached for the bottle labeled ‘PM’ and started clawing off the wrapper. “Guess you can take the meds now.”
Only Alastor didn’t readily accept the capful of meds being held out to him.
“Please don’t put up a fight over the medicine too.” Vox begged, exasperated.
Alastor held up a finger, his eyes closing. “Huh’tschhh!” He waited. “Isshhuuu!”
“You done?”
Alastor paused, sniffled. Shrugged.
Vox couldn’t help but find the whole action absolutely adorable, curse it all. Alastor drank it quickly before sneezing again for the umpteenth time.
“H’gghISCHEWW!”
“Figured you weren’t done.” Vox mused, passing over a handful of tissues. Alastor broke off into another harsh coughing fit after blowing his nose.
“I’d feel bad for you if you weren’t such a dick.”
Alastor laid back down with his back facing Vox.
“So rude after I’ve been so gracious towards you.”
Nothing.
Vox knew he wasn’t being ignored on purpose, but it certainly still felt that way. He kicked his legs up on the bed to get comfortable and turned the lamp off, admittedly a bit bored.
It didn’t take long for the cough syrup to work its way through Alastor’s body and make every muscle feel like jelly. He swore he felt something playing with his ears, but he felt too out of it to do anything about it. Soon he was pulled into the darkness.
~
Valentino returned home from the studio the next morning. He couldn’t wait to collapse into bed and not move until noon. As fun as the late film sessions were for him, they definitely messed up his sleep schedule. Unfortunately his plans were derailed when he couldn’t even get into his own freaking bedroom.
“What the - why is this door locked?” Valentino knocked on the door. “Vox! You in there jerking off or something? Without me?”
Vox emerged into the doorway, cracking the door behind him to not let any light in. “Shh! Didn’t you get my text? You’ll have to sleep somewhere else today. Alastor’s using our bed and he’ll be there for a while.”
“Really? Like, our Alastor?” Curiously, Valentino pushed his way into the room to see the lump sprawled amongst the covers. He turned to his partner with a devious grin.
“What do we have here? You finally got that bitch in your bed? Please tell me you filmed it!”
Vox gritted his teeth. “Yes, he’s in bed but not like that.”
“Don’t be modest! We all know you’ve been wanting to fuck him for like decades now! How’d it go? Who topped? Oh what am I saying? I know it was you!” Valentino reached out a hand to crawl up Vox’s chest, only for it to be rudely shoved away.
“Would you shut the fuck up and keep it down?”
Valentino retracted his hand as if a dog had just lashed out at him. “The fuck’s your problem?”
“For your information, he’s sick.”
“Aww, pobrecito.” Valentino rolled his eyes. “Who gives a shit? He shouldn’t be in our bed then!”
“MY bed.” Vox corrected. “You just sleep there too.”
“Why you little - pinche pendejo! Velvette! Get in here!” Valentino called out.
“I thought I told you to be quiet!” Vox growled.
Soon Velvette came in, head engrossed in her phone. “What is it, love? This better be good. I’m about to go live.”
“Tell Vox to get that snot filled germ factory out of MY side of the bed!” Valentino pointed to the scene.
“Ooo, this is good!” Velvette sped past Valentino, getting her phone ready. “Want me to make a poll of what we’ll do to him? I know the chat will absolutely eat this up!”
“Did you not hear me? The fucker is in my BED!”
“Oh don’t be such a lil’ piss baby about it. This is way too good of an opportunity to pass up.”
“You wouldn’t be saying that if it was your clean sheets getting fucked!”
“Would you two just shut the fuck up already?”
Valentino and Velvette looked at Vox, then each other.
“Yes, he’s sick. We’ve established this many times now. He’s fucking miserable and you assholes marching in here yelling isn’t helping at all. So if you’re not going to be of any use, then get the fuck out.”
There was a moment of silence before Velvette broke out into a flurry of giggles. “For a second there Vox, I thought you were being serious this time.”
“I am serious,” Vox stepped forward to push her phone away, his serious expression unchanged. “Put this away and leave. You too Val.”
“What’s with you? Don’t tell me you actually care about making sure the little fawn gets his precious rest.” Valentino said.
Vox hesitated, hands going into his pockets. “He’s my hostage and I’ll deal with him my way.” He finally stated.
Velvette and Valentino shared a knowing glance.
“Fine. If he’s all yours, then you can have fun wiping his nose today or whatever the fuck it is you’re doing.” Velvette said.
“We won’t get in your way at all.” Valentino added with a fake smile.
With that, the two had stomped off, no doubt on their way to complain to each other. But Vox didn’t even care. He stepped back in the room to see Alastor still fast asleep. Breathing fast through congested snores, ears pinned back and smile trying to fall. More meds would be in order later.
Vox hated the Radio Demon. But he hated to see him like this even more.
Breaking out the reaction images because !!!!!!! I’ve been failing to Words about this for like ten minutes but oh my god I’m insane over this fic. I always love when, in the present day, V/ox shows any genuine care/softness/concern/protectiveness/etc. for Al and tHIS IS SOOO MUCH OF THAT IN THE BEST WAY like omggggg the guilt and concern and very very attentive caretaking despite having been so cruel and sadistic earlier and still being a bitch sometimes even now!!
The sort of cognitive dissonance of it all like hating him so so much but taking rly good care of him and laying next to him and gently playing with his ears, oughhhh toxic obsessive creep who’s never been able to Not care so much much about that deer in SOME manner for 70 years I hate himmm (affectionate) (unfortunately very very affectionate)
Like he’s sooooo attentive to him he’s even keeping track of timing for meds and got him way too many meds in the first place lmao. And YESSS when Al can’t actually act as much like himself and can’t talk, V/ox is bored and disappointed!!! 100% agreed, I’ve been insane over that hc for months and you portray it soooo well omg. And V/ox disliking feeling ignored yup yup absolutely tracks and that’s also rly cute to me, what a loser 🩵🩵🩵
The “they LOVE me Al! They fucking love me!” gave me such cuteness aggression like awwwwhwhwhw my evil evil horrible evil little guy who’s SO desperate for others’ approval 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and awwwwwww my poor little deer 😭🥺❤️ ears pinned back and miserable, poor babyyy, all the details of him feeling so awful are so ❤️❤️❤️ the “you done?” moment is so cute, the lil shrug 🥺 and I’m kind of Looking Respectfully at the fact that it was sort of clear he wasn’t done yet. And the other V/ees are delightful and terrible here 🥰 this whole fic is gonna be so rent free in my head for the next ever
Hi, Effyyyy! 💜💜💜 For the 3 x 3 character asks, your beloved snake boi, Si/r Pen/tio/us from hit series Ha/z/bin Ho/tel? :3
yessssssss :p
under the cut bc long
3 things I like about him (how do i pick just 3 he's perfect he's The Guy Of All Time he's the Patron Saint of Good Bois he's a chaotic little gremlin bastard but also the sweetest of cinnamon rolls)
His aesthetic. I simply HAVE to respect the vision even if the vision is dorky as all fuck (and dear god is this snake man DORKY) and like. I do tend to be very much like "waow,,,, steampunk aesthetic is cool" so of course I have a soft spot for him in that regard. Also. Being a snake in hell and changing your name to be a wordplay on "serpent" is a power move actually. (ALSO also i want his gender. penny gimme the gender hand it over cmon)
goddddd his backstory made me actually get so sad and soggy over him because like 🥺 what do you meeeeaaannnnn he was a people watcher who didn't socialise for a long time and then right when he finally found people Shit Happened he's LITERALLY ME FR 🥺🥺🥺
He's so smart he was able to invent war machines and figure out a way to broadcast from Heaven but also so stupid he picked fights with powerful overlords like Al/astor for WHAT??!! BABES DON'TTTTTT 😔 ya daft bastard wtf
3 snz/adjacent headcanons
ohohohoHO >:33333
This man, in life and in BOTH afterlives, has the constitution of a wet paper bag. Pen/dle/ton is the poster boy for the phrase "sickly Victorian man". If that long gorgeous hair of his gets damp or he's been out in the cold for a while you can probably reliably count on him waking up sniffly and with a nagging sore throat, and that tendency only worsened when Hell stuck him with a cold-blooded body
Tends to lose his voice easily if he's sick or otherwise been sneezing a lot because I feel like his sneezes are quite high-pitched and harsh enough to snap him forwards at the waist. Also, tangientially related, but I feel like even in life he had something of a whispery voice going on, though not quite as distinctly raspy as in canon (we didn't get to hear him talk in the flashback,,,,,, cmonnnn i wanna hear the excited little sounds he makes when his inventions are going well i want him to be happy)
he is abso-fucking-lutely allergic to dust you cannot tell me otherwise. yes this IS bad when he probably doesn't dust as often as he ought to and almost definitely has a shelf of old books
Honourable mention because this ISN'T a headcanon, he is canonically allergic to most animals with fur (seriously watch season 2 episode 2 of hazbin, nothing Happens but he says it and when i tell you i had to very quietly scream) (if that's ever followed up on or we get canon snz from him in general i'll fucking lose it /pos)
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios
oh this'll be GOOD
During his and Baxter's "oh my god they were roommates lab partners" era, Baxter, whether intentionally or accidentally, invents some kind of non-lethal bioweapon. Maybe some kind of chemical, or a particularly vicious strain of the common cold, but either way he's going to need a test subject. And he just so happens to live with one. And my dear darling snzfucker Sir Pentious is NORMAL ABOUT IT. (you can pry kink!Pen from my cold dead hands he's sooooo cute when he gets flustered)
He shows up sick to a battle with Alastor or Cherri (or maybe both are there at the same time if he's REALLY unlucky). Alastor would leave pretty quickly because he doesn't want to risk catching whatever Pen's clearly suffering from, MISS him with that shit. Cherri, though, might go a little easier on him given that he's so off his game the fight's hardly fun (and also she feels kinda bad for him). She might offer to call a truce, bring him home make him tea. I LOVE THEMMMMM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Sick in Heaven somehow, he misses his friends and especially Cherri, and cries over them a little (more than a little). Shivering sobs turn into shuddering hitches which in turn become desperate, dizzying sneezing fits, and he just feels miserable
Snuff was a thing in the late nineteenth century when he was alive so uhhhh. Do with that information what you will.
(had to do one heaven specific one and one when he was alive because i love him in all his forms)
If you’d like, Con/nor from D:/B/H for the 3x3 asks? 👀💙 I love your takes on him!
in return for your (rosie’s) AMAZING 3x3 prompts for m/a/w/snz here, I offer up my own headcanons for our baby Con/nor below!!
3 Things I Like:
1. Connor has such a wholesome perspective to him (at least from my playthrough — I know if you make certain choices you can keep him strictly Android so he’s not so fluffy lol). As for my version of Connor, it’s not necessarily his naivety or innocence that I like, but the fact he’s so curious about life in general? It’s just so endearing how he navigates his identity, emotions, and relationships in-game…you can tell he’s really trying to learn and empathize with his insecurities.
2. I find Connor’s duality really intriguing too. The cold and grizzled detective (think Hank) is a delicious trope, but can also be interpreted as severely one-note or jaded if it isn’t done gracefully. With Connor, I really appreciate that D:BH balanced his character by presenting him as someone who can lock in and do really analytical work AND sass or cheer up his coworkers with a bunch of silly questions or comments about their hobbies/habits. Sometimes androids in media are made to feel strictly rigid (like a walking calculator with a superiority complex), so it’s really refreshing D:BH avoided some of that by giving players the option to uncover and develop Connor’s little quirks! It’s just so enticing (and rewarding) watching Connor grow and change!
3. Put simply: he likes dogs and he likes Hank. There is no cuter trio than those three working and living together <3
3 Snz-Headcanons + Blended Prompts:
1. I am OBSESSED with the idea that thunderstorms or static makes Connor sneeze. I just imagine that he’s sensitive to shocks or electricity, so replacing a light bulb or working through a thunderstorm sets him off (almost like an allergy)! He’d be sort of shy about it; like he thinks it’s embarrassing because it causes these little kitten fits that highjack his wiring, so sneezing is adjacent to being swiftly and repetitively “rebooted”? I think this would happen enough that eventually Hank would be able to predict when it’s going to storm ahead of time because Connor gets so sneezy. Hank is also mischievous enough he’d probably tease Connor by harmlessly “shocking” him on purpose for the sake of getting a reaction out of him…or use him as a “circuit-detector” because the closer Connor is to a malfunctioning wire/flickering light/loose plug/etc. the more he sneezes.
2. I imagine Connor gets fairly insecure over feeling too human and not human enough, so in turn he’d sort of switch how he behaves when he sneezes based on his present company? For example, if he’s around other androids he’s more apt to fight his sneezes, or avoid acknowledging them altogether when they do happen; whereas around humans he feels obligated to bless everyone, use proper etiquette, mimic good hygiene practices (even if it’s not necessary), etc. not just to feel normal, but to put others at ease that he’s “just like them”. ALSO blue blush around the cheeks, nose, eyes when he’s having a reaction?? Sooo cute I have to assume it’s canon.
3. Connor has photographic sneeze memory for sure. He knows everything that sets anyone off, keeps a track of their allergies, when they’re sick, how they sneeze and why, etc. I imagine this drives Hank crazy because he’ll sneeze and Connor will say something like: “Air quality is XYZ today” OR “that’s the sixth time you've sneezed in the last hour; may I suggest brushing Sumo to reduce airborne dander?” OR “you sneeze like that when you’re cold, should I grab you a jacket?” Obviously he’s just trying to be helpful, but he doesn’t really understand how that could also be embarrassing for some people + BONUS if Connor automatically records his close peers’ sneezes, so when Hank argues he can’t possibly tell the difference between a cold or allergies, Connor can go “erm, actually-!” and replay a sneeze, diagnosing the differences in sound, length, frequency, all that technical stuff. Obviously Hank would scold him for this, but he’d probably do it anyway (at least in Hank’s case because he just wants to look out for him) <3
Thank you for the ask (and letting me know my asks were previously disabled adhfdjkhkklh)!! This was so fun and creative! I can’t wait to read more of your own ideas rosie — your prompts and headcanons are genius! <3 <3
To anyone else who wants to join in or see the original post, here is a link (just please be conscientious of where/what community you post to)! Enjoy!! <3
Hiya! Tysm for the ask! 💜 (⚠️ cut for finale spoilers ahead and also length)
3 things I like about Jax: she’s lovely, isn’t she?
1. She’s so funny, honestly even with some of the more mean-spirited things lol e.g. I’m huge fan of “oh, cool! 0-0 I’m not a vegan anymore! [CHOMPS evil version. THRASHES AROUND.]”
2. Something about her voice is So Audio to my brain. I think it’s the way she sounds constantly smirky. Just the intonation of it makes the DVD logo hit all the corners of my brain in a row
3. I really, really like her backstory with Ribbit and Kaufmo. 🥺 The arc of seeing them become friends, the scene in Ribbit’s room, Jax shutting Ribbit out until she abstracts, Jax drifting away from Kaufmo until he abstracts—it’s emotionally devastating but also really interesting and compelling to me lol. And then in the finale, all three of them are a trio again as abstractions in the tank 😭😭
4. I love the character design of like she doesn’t really have an inside of her mouth, like her teeth aren’t actually 3D they’re just painted onto her head, for lack of the right term. It’s just the shape of her mouth moving around the base layer of her head. Kind of hard to phrase actually lmao but yeah!!
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. Does not bless anyone unless it’s done teasingly/mockingly lol. If she’s blessed by someone else, it’s often followed with a weary “ugh, shut up,” particularly if she’s sick and has been sneezing a lot (she’s tired and yeah yeah she heard you the first 20 times today). However, if she Doesn’t get blessed, she will occasionally be like, “What, no ‘bless you?’”
2. How do I put this, maybe her snz sounds like it’s through her teeth because it kind of is lol? And it’s not very loud but sounds wet, vocal, tensed, and a little harsh? “Y”s and “J”s in there? Maybe like, “uhh-huhh… hih’YKZSCHh! EHJZSH’hyeww! Ugh...” I could also see her playing up a more stereotypical cartoony vibe.
3. Hates admitting illness, allergies, or maybe even sensitivities. Weaknesses?? She doesn’t have Those! And she’s certainly not jumping to tell people them. She’s neverrrr tried to deny things to herself of any kind either. Tooootally wouldn’t do that with illnesses and allergies too.
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. In the past, Jax getting sick and Ribbit taking care of her!! Maybe in more subtle/casual ways so as not to freak her out about being too vulnerable. More so just an “are you sure you’re feeling all right?” “Well, yeah, why wouldn’t I be? C’monnn, Ribbit, you worry too much! I’m the picture of hehhh… hehH-YDJZSH’hiew! Sndf, picture of health.” “Uh-huh. Sure. I’m completely convinced now… Bless you.” “Yeah, yeah, shut up… it’s nothing, all right?” “Hey, I’m not saying it’s ‘something.’ I’m just saying… I hear hot chocolate’s pretty nice on a sore throat. Now, totally unrelated to that fun fact, I’m going to go get some. You wanna join me?” “… Eh, why not?” “That’s what I like to hear!” There’s something kind of healing about feeling safe with Ribbit when a little vulnerable since Jax didn’t have that at home 😭😭
2. If one of the characters gets into a snz while hiding situation during an adventure, Jax causes problems on purpose LMAO. Or at least makes them Worse on purpose, e.g. oh nooo she accidentally bumped into some more items in this dusty closet what a shame, literally she knocks some shit over and goes “o o p s : )” (because she’s cringe (affectionate)) and then talks about how much dust is in the air now and y’know the other character probably shouldn’t think about that too much given how terribly allergic they are to it, etc.
3. In the past when Jax was newer to the Circus or up until like ep 7, she turns out to be awfully allergic to some flora/fauna that’s necessary to complete the adventure they’re on and is sort of everywhere. She tries to hide it/play it cool and somehow avoid it, buuut inevitably falls apart in front of the group (or just one person like Ribbit or Pomni!) with an absolutely record-breaking sneezing fit. And it’s Very obvious what’s been going on.
4. Jax is hiding that she’s been coming down with something today, and now she has to go on an adventure with old cast or main cast. She tries to play it off as just being in a worse mood (and thus should be left alone), staying quieter and further away from the group and giving glares to anyone who looks at her for half a second too long. Eventually, someone—Ribbit or Pomni?—realizes that no, she actually sounds kind of off and seems tired and oh, she’s sick, isn’t she? The adventure still needs to be concluded and attempts to express concern may be shot down, but they might get through to her at LEAST a little 🥺
Hiii, ofc!!! Ty for the ask! (Under cut for length + finale spoilers!)
3 things I like about Rag/atha from TAD/C:
1. She’s so sweet and caring and she just wants to be close with everyone. 🥺🥺🥺 I’m admittedly a sucker for characters that tend to be lonely or just really want to be friends/close with another character(s). She’s trying her best to help and keep a positive attitude and reach out to people and like awgh I love her 💙💙💙
2. I’m really fond of her character design!! She’s Very Shaped as a doll lol. I love the subtle fabric textures we can see on her. I like her lil mitten-shaped hands and. It sounds weird to say but. Her being full of stuffing rather than like bones and blood is fun in a way lmao?
3. I kind of really liked the backstory of her with Jax and Ribbit that we got in the finale like ooough the concept that promising Jax that she would never bring up their dead friend again is what ended THEIR friendship, even though it was at Jax’s request, because it meant she couldn’t be there for her 😭😭😭
4. Her complaint to Caine in ep 8 when they’re keeping him from Kinger is just like! Awgh. Girl you’ve been being actively tortured the last god knows how long and before that been trapped here for years and your deepest harshest thing to say to him is that he doesn’t try to put himself in your guys’ shoes or comfort anyone? The fact that that’s what’s most important to her is kind of 🥺
3 snz/adjacent hcs:
1. Could be fun/fitting to have her be prone to sympathetic sneezing
2. She’s bad at stifling and really tries to keep sneezing as quiet/Unobtrusive To Others as she can—e.g. tries to hold back if someone else is talking—but it doesn’t really make much difference. It’s not even loud, it’s average volume lol. Might sound like, “Heh-hih-ihhh? Hihhpt-tchiew! Ehh’heh…? Hah’IHKT-schiew! Oh, my gosh, sorry about that. I don’t even know where that came from.” Like maybe she’s on the hitchier side of things and has sort of a mixture of airy and vocal for snz? End of the snz is usually a little louder and higher pitched, almost melodic if that makes sense lmao?
3. If any of the others get sick, Ragatha tries to check in on them and take care of them as much as they’ll let her do. Post-finale, she makes them soup and tea 🥰 without being asked to at first, but then the others start asking for it when they’re sick because it just tastes so comforting whenever she makes it. However, this may also make her the one who’s sick most often of the group because she catches it while trying to take care of them. 🥺 Luckily, especially post-finale, her attentive caretaking is returned to her in full whenever she’s sick because You Always Do This For Us.
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios:
1. Post-finale, everyone gets sick. It starts with Gangle, let’s say, because nothing about her screams Strong Immune System to me lmao. Zooble catches it. Then Kinger. Then Pomni. Then Caine, which is a surprise to everyone involved including him himself, but he’s left a little weaker after the finale, so he’s a little more susceptible to these things than he used to be. And all along Ragatha’s been doing her absolute best trying to take care of everyone and avoid getting sick because who’s going to take care of everyone if she gets sick too? 🥺 Like she feels like she shouldn’t get sick For The Sake Of Other People. Inevitably, though, she does, but by now a lot of the group is doing a solid amount better, so it switches over from Ragatha taking care of Everyone Else to Everyone Else taking care of Ragatha. And if she cries about that, that’s just the fever, of course. Also, I think this would also work as a Pomni prompt/scenario lol or even just both like. Ragatha and Pomni together against the world (illness all their friends are down with lmao).
2. A little angsty, but post-finale, Ragatha returns to the Snowy Summit with the support of Pomni or all the others to process what happened with Jax and Ribbit so long ago that was the tipping point for Ribbit abstracting. However, she ends up catching cold in the snowy mountaintops, and now she’s not only sad but sick and shivery. They warm her up and take her back to her room to get cozy under the blankets and rest, but they don’t leave her alone to do so given that it’s been an emotional day and she’s literally Miss Fear Of Abandonment so heyyy maybe stick around for a bit after reflecting on friends she lost. 1+ of them stays and talks with her, and if she gets sleepy, they stay and quietly draw or read or smth. The emotional healing she gets from the experience is still well worth the week of physical illness
3. At any point in the timeline, Ragatha gets sick and is just kind of absent for a while until 1+ other character finds her in her room—she just didn’t want to bother anyone or risk getting anyone else sick so she didn’t tell anyone and was just staying in her room alone 🥺 but the other(s) are like omg no you don’t have to do that?? And take care of her. I also really like the image of her with a fever and, with the lights off so she can rest, Kinger is lucid enough to tell her stories of some of the lighter things that happened before she joined.
4. Group cooking/baking goes a little wrong due to some spice getting to her (might be Jax’s doing if it’s pre-finale). It doesn’t help that the grains of the powder are caught in her fabric, including around her nose. Maybe she got some of it in her hair as well, so every time she sneezes, the movement of it kind of knocks more of it into the air for her. Some of this could also work for a dust scenario, maybe even snz while hiding during an adventure?
