Probably Related To Dexter Grif

Chloé, 19, queer. “Oh, you like pop tarts? They’re horse meat.”

[d1rtypaws]

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

[notkatniss]

this guy literally doesnt need tan

[cowgalfemme]

This guy dresses like he just got out of filming the lesbian version of queer eye

[weeniebagel]

yo whatever happened to gladiators n coliseums n shit? when did we decide that blood sports were bad? im tryna see two men kill each other on pay per view

[weeniebagel]

dont worry im a feminist id pay to see two women kill each other as well

[weeniebagel]

political correctness killed the gladiatorial arena and its disgusting. fucking millennials (400 AD)

[yiffmaster]

gladiators were actually very skilled and expensive to train (not to mention charismatic and popular), so they rarely fought to the death actually; it was more of a… ritualized theatrical combat

the modern equivalent you’re looking for is professional wrestling

[calliopecoyote]

Ok but when are professional wrestlers gonna be throwing nets and shit and using swords???

[yugirimistwalker]

what is a chair if not a modern day sword

[yiffmaster]

what is a table but a domestic net

[gahdamnpunk]

[goldenagc]

do it for her (amelia “mia” mignonette thermopolis renaldi, queen of genovia)

[bexalator58]

*princess

[goldenagc]

[tacoghouls-deactivated20160101]

Never ever make an opinion about a show based on what you’ve seen on Tumblr because for months I legitimately thought that Teen Wolf was about a modern gay adaption of Little Red Riding Hood with werewolves

[perseusjacks0n]

[brittany-murphy]

[trickztr-deactivated20220912]

the best part of What We Do In The Shadows is when the vampires and the werewolves are giving each other shit, then deacon fake-throws a stick and one of the werewolves and actually runs out to go fetch it

this is top comedy right there

[dragon-in-a-fez]

have you ever thought about how in the versions of the spider-man canon where Peter’s web shooting is accomplished by technology rather than being an actual superpower that means he really just….could have…very easily not done that. like he could have had any weapon. he could have had weapons he didn’t have to invent himself and build from scratch. but they wouldn’t have been spider-themed so he just. he did that. for the Aesthetic.

[roaringstream]

Peter saw he got bit by a spider and decided to die on that rock

[miiriya]

[these-boots-are-made-for-cocking]

I. love. this.

[valtsv]

me trying to tell my british friends i have depression: lads, this madman’s feeling a little sadman

[valtsv]

my british friends trying to cheer me up: ah fuckin ell mate that’s not so cheeky innit. well we’re your mates and we’re here for ya bruv. get it together ya wet bastard. you can do it. wanker.

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

millenial from the year 1910: the moving picture show has fucking destroyed my sense of humor like i only laugh at shit like this now *video of a clown throwing a pie at the hoity toity town mayor*

[whitepeopletwitter]

[writing-prompt-s]

The year is 2022. You and your gang shoot down Amazon delivery drones and sell their contents for a living.

[triskele1312]

Is this a prompt or a prophesy

[theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea]

Its an instruction

[goalsbian-deactivated20220430]

heading to the polls to vote for beto like

[zsnes]

me in ten years sipping a glass of cabernet sauvignon and stroking my blonde husband’s hair while reading my old blog posts on my computerized coffee table and sitting on my humane leather couch: oh marshall, look at how foolish i was as a child. it’s really too embarrassing dear, don’t look. whatever could i have been thinking?

marshall anderson cheveringsley-gore: well dear, we were all “sjws” back then, weren’t we

[BOTH LAUGH.]

me: oh goodness, look at the time on our hypoallergenic floral clock. do be a dear marshall and pick up ethylene hyphasia from her traditional greek lyre lessons, it’s almost time for her psychodentistry appointment and she has been so petulant lately. two is a terrible age.

marshall [straightening his hand-embroidered silk cravat]: shall i pick up another carafe of calcium-fortified quinoa juice while i’m at it, darling?

me [steadily pouring the bottle of cabernet onto the white ivory floor]: that would be so good of you, marshall

[spillybun-deactivated20190921]

Boy ain’t that the truth

[dangerously-human]

The biggest of moods