i feel like i am a lesbian, that feels so right and lovely. i would love to marry a woman and the thought of being with a man makes me nauseous and uncomfortable. but i’ve had not horrible sexual experiences with guys before. and also i had a boyfriend for like 3 years. it’s so hard to know if it was comp het, when i really analyze it i know it was but still there were times when it was really dark or i was drunk it wasn’t bad. but even the thought of it now makes me sad. (i’d’ed as bi before)
“Not horrible” shouldn’t be the bar you set for your relationships, anon. You deserve to have relationships that feel right and lovely, and you deserve to marry someone you love, not just tolerate. I relate to struggling with comp het even after knowing you’re a lesbian for a while. Sometimes I still think to myself, “Maybe I can tolerate being with a man” or “I should try to force myself to like men” which is very unhealthy but also the product of growing up in this heteronormative world. There are many lesbians who have been with men in the past, but those relationships were ultimately unhappy and/or coercive/forced. You deserve to be in a happy relationship anon, with someone you love.
Amen.





















