you know what absolutely kills me about the season one finale? rupert and amir going to their duel. i mean yea for obvious reasons, but listen to me. they both knew which one was gonna win that duel. they both knew which one was gonna die. rupert tells amir what he wants him to do if he dies and when amir tries to say the same thing, when he says "and if you win-" rupert cuts him off with a quiet "we both know that's not gonna happen." because that's the thing. both of them know amir is gonna win. amir has been trained in every fighting style since he was a child and rupert has barely picked up a sword in his life. amir has saved rupert time over time in the forest because rupert can't fight well. when the forest opens up to the hollow rupert knows he's going in there to die and amir knows he's going in there to kill his only friend. when amir asks him "you ready?" rupert replies with "not really" and his voice is shaking. he knows he's gonna die at 17. and then it's even worse during the actual duel. rupert tells amir to stop going easy on him because he knows he is. he knows he couldnt beat him in a duel and theyre not allowed to fuck around anymore. when amir beats him it kills me, it kills me that he's begging rupert to pick up his sword so they can keep fighting because he can't kill him. he just wants them to keep fighting so he can postpone the inevitable. and rupert refuses. because, and here comes the worst part, "i'm not spending the last minutes of my life fighting." it's heartbreaking, im crying like a baby at this point. "im not spending the last minutes of my life fighting. not you." this is why the season one finale gets me bawling my eyes out everytime opposed to season two. rupert is 17, he's turning 18 today, and he knows hes dying. he won't pick up a sword to defend himself because it wouldnt make a difference and he doesn't want to fight. he's never wanted to fight. it's not gonna be the last thing he does in life
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