Skeleton Then Ort

You must try to lead a good life You must do unto others as you would have them do So that when you die you'll find golden boy peanuts Waiting in the afterlife for you -"Golden Boy" by the Mountain Goats

[i-am-a-fish]

don't be mean to yourself that's you

[i-am-a-fish]

you live there

[triskeleaficionado]

[instructor144]

ffs ....

[krisatherandom]

Additions from my husband: Bakers wear loafers and Zookeepers wear Crocs

[haveuseenmyhalo]

Excellent additions.

[asirbyanyothername]

Angels wear wingtips.

[triskeleaficionado]

A lumberjack wears Timberlands.

[researcherinblue]

Ice skaters wear slippers

[dorkery]

[chaoticwixtheybe]

Addition from my mom: delivery drivers wear vans

[selfdestructivecat]

VERY good addition!

[perfectly-princely-emo-nightmare]

Achilles wears heels.

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

Blackjack dealers wear Deck shoes.

[sixpenceee]

The male pufferfish tries to impress potential mates with his masterpiece. Source: BBC Earth

[justgot1]

*whispers* holy shit

[kingwizardandthelizardgizza-blog]

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

[quasarkisses]

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

[nudityandnerdery]

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

[assassinregrets]

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

[marsdaydream]

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

[confused-pie]

Same

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

i am OBSESSED with this response my philosophy teacher made to my introduction post okay OBSESSED

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

ok but did you put your fucking h*gwarts house in your online class discussion forum introduction

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

absolutely not i have taste what i DID say for my interesting fact was that i have 999:59 hours in my copy of pokemon heartgold

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

ok ok i understand. this professor is just dunking on harry potter right out the gate unprompted

[hoofpeet]

Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet

[aberrantemotion]

Ho oh

[dkpsyhog]

I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure

[aberrantemotion]

Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?

[dkpsyhog]

In the kindest way possible, fuck you

[expelliarmus]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[ainaraoftime-deactivated2025020]

one of my favourite linguistic phenomena/in-jokes is spanish potato chips being “ham-flavored, probably”

[ainaraoftime-deactivated2025020]

y’see because spain and portugal are so close, labels in stuff like food, shampoo, etc often come in portuguese as well as spanish

this brand of chips, Lay’s, displays the flavor in spanish and portuguese, resulting in ham-flavored chips looking like this:

with “jamón” being spanish and “presunto” being portuguese

however, “presunto” is also a spanish adjective, meaning “presumed” (or suspected)

so you have this in-joke going where spanish chips taste like ham, presumably

[fluffmugger]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

You’ve heard of “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” now get ready for “It’s questionable whether or not this is ham”

[elidyce]

Alleged Ham

[apokrify]

THIS DRAWING WAS MADE 700 YEARS AGO BY A 7-YEARS-OLD BOY NAMED ONFIM WHO LIVED IN NOVOGROD.

[oarfjsh]

[zvaigzdelasas]

more of onfime’s drawings:

[trashboat]

[thetimelimit]

[swarnpert]

saw a funny license plate today

[swarnpert]

[ankle-beez]

[lammergeier-spitfire]

This felt like a punch to the throat

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

On one hand, this would exasperate any Frenchmen within earshot, so good for her.

[doccywhomst]

i love that the doctor introduces themselves as a "time lord," especially given that they didn't pass (or barely passed?) their exams. it's like if an alien walked up to a human, asked what their species was, and the human was like "i'm a law school graduate" and they were LYING

[norvicensiandoran]

[bisexuel]

[hhawkeye]

this post on reddit fucking killed me the other day