I have loved the stars

INFP, geek, spiritualist, literati, college student, adventurer.

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

Caroline Alexander’s new translation of the Iliad. Can’t wait to read this but I’ve got three term papers and a dissertation to write…

[ruthannedopp]

Neeeeeeeeeeed 😍

[gurl]

[keithsweatshop]

[alicenthightower]

Broad City S03E01

[queerist]

<3 <3 <3

[this-is-a-mainblog]

I am a little more than confused. But… I trust you, Ganesha. So I know there must be some meaning to all of this that I cannot see. And I wish to see. I wish to understand. So help me, Ganesha. Help me see what it is I must do.

[ruthannedopp]

I dunno that would answer my prayers pretty throughly

[larstheyeti]

Weekend planning

[ruthannedopp]

My life

[sexykins]

i think i’ll let the song speak for itself.

[roane72]

The thing about Tumblr that probably makes me saddest is the underlying assumption that women past a certain age (which seems to be about 25?) stop having any sort of outside interests beyond family/career/kids. Like, y’all are always so shocked that grown women have lives and can fangirl as hard as we did as teenagers.

It makes me sad not because it makes me feel old (although it does), but because these younger women are constricting their own lives–they fully expect that this will happen to them someday. Y’all deserve better. Y’all deserve to EXPECT better.

[esterbrook]

And worse than that, the idea that there’s something WRONG with a grown woman who has other interests.

[roane72]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[goatatemynametag]

One of the biggest things I realized growing up? 

It doesn’t happen.

You expect somehow you will change when you are finally An Adult ™. You’ll stop enjoying the things you enjoy now for something more “adult” or “mature”. You’ll FEEL like an adult and not like a child anymore. You’ll feel comfortable and secure and not scared and unsure and confused. You expect you will feel like you have your shit together.

But I can tell you that it doesn’t happen. You’ll still feel like the “you” you were at 15 or 17 or 19. 

You just have these…things to deal with. Like rent. And insurance. 

You have a job either because a) you like it or b) it keeps the lights and internet on. 

You’ll look up from fangirling one day and realize ‘shit. I am twenty eight years old. That’s almost 30!’. Or maybe it will be that you look down at the small child clasped around your legs and realize ‘that is my child. I have a child. A human being child.’ Or maybe it will be that you have to negotiate your budget around con tickets AND a mortgage payment. 

Growing up isn’t a thing that happens. 

It’s a realization that it doesn’t happen. 

[roane72]

Holy shit, y’all. There are some AMAZING responses to this post. Yes, everything alwayshometomarvel says. All that.

[eclecticmuses]

Feeling like I wasn’t ‘adult’ enough fucked me up for years. I would cry at night and feel like a total piece of shit because I was married with a kid, and yet I still did ‘not adult’ things–I played MMOs, I cosplayed and went to conventions, I drew fan art and wrote fan fic. I kept waiting for the day that I would wake up and realize that what I really needed to be doing was the laundry, cleaning the house, making dinner every night, etc. Basically, be the ‘perfect’ wife and mother.

And somewhere between then and now, I somehow managed to tell myself…fuck it. I AM an adult. I go to work every day and pay the bills and help raise my son and take care of the house. I do legit adult things. AND I play MMOs, go to conventions, and participate in fandom. And THAT’S OKAY. I’m 32 years old now and finally at peace with that part of myself. (Having a supportive husband and kid doesn’t hurt either!)

[tariqk]

@malaysianfeminist

[madamethursday]

All of this is such truth. Believing these things about growing up, and especially about being over 25? Really made it hard for me when I turned 30.

I was literally suicidal on my 30th birthday. I spent the whole day in tears. I felt like I had died and my life was now worthless and small and never going to be hopeful or full of promise or fun again. I felt like killing myself on my birthday because I bought into this lie that somewhere after your mid-twenties, you diminish as a woman because the only thing that made you alive and shiny was your youth.

I’m 31 one and I’m done with that shit. I’m over it. I don’t care if you think I’m too old for something. If I’m an old lady in tumblr terms, then I’m past the legal age where I’m obligated to care what you think. 

So, I’m telling you girls out there right now who are in your teens and twenties, get rid of this idea of what older women are “supposed” to look like. Get rid of this idea that “soccer moms” don’t play video games or that all women over 25 should be married and contemplating kids. Get rid of the idea that fanfic and fandom and fun things are for “kids”.

Mostly, get rid of this notion that the only thing really valuable about you is your youth. Youth is part of life, but it’s not the most valuable or beautiful or exciting time of your life. I like my life at 30 about 1000% than I did at 15, 18, 20, even 25. 

[roane72]

I’m glad you’re still here.

[dynastylnoire]

Grownblr approves this message

[thefandomdropout]

I adore this post 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[brendaonao3]

Jesus, all of this.  Fandom life and fandom fun and PASSION for things doesn’t end at 25 or 30 or 40 or 50 - my mom still goes to as many concerts as she can (like, she goes to more live shows than I do) and is passionate about music and baseball (her chosen fandoms) at she’s 60 and a widow and a grandmother twice over.  Youth isn’t your only bargaining chip and passions don’t die once you hit a certain age and it is OKAY to be an adult with adult responsibilities and also have fandom things you’re passionate about.  (In fact, those are the things that make being an adult worth it. *g*)

[frostyemma]

So much of this is because American SOCIETY teaches women that 1) they’re pretty worthless to begin with and 2) whatever worth they might have ends at 25, maybe 30. So after 30, so far as the American majority culture is concerned, a woman might as well be dead. Or if she’s not dead, she’d better be focused on babies and housekeeping and fashion magazines, and nothing else.

The idea that women have ANY interests at all, past family and marriage, is just fucking MIND BLOWING to many. The idea that women might be interested in the same fannish things they were always interested in? Absurd.

[twistedingenue]

At work the other day, one of our visitors asked for out names and favorite hobby. All of the men had time-intensive hobbies and could easily name them. The women (besides the two of us without kids) all looked panicked and then mumbled something like “I like to read, maybe?” These women are awesome women. I know they have hobbies and things that they enjoy outside of raising their children, but you could see the sort of weird pressure there was to not admit that they wanted to do something other than raise their children.

[roane72]

Holy shit the NOTES this post has gotten. Take some time and read some of the responses if you get a chance. They’re AMAZING.

[prettyarb]

I felt it too, that terror when I was getting close to 30 and felt like…I dunno, like my life was about to be over, I guess.  I hadn’t expected to have that reaction till I got there.  I thought I had a hold of the whole nonsense about women and youth and beauty.  I got it, right?  I’m more than a face.

But what happened was that I got there and I panicked because I suddenly realized I had no idea: what do women over 30 actually DO, besides have families?  Like, what are my options, and how to I proceed after the ones I like?

My online spaces helped me so much then, because there were all these cool older ladies I knew there.  I could look at what they were doing with themselves, that they were still chasing their hobbies, making career moves, taking kooky vacations with friends, being delightful idiots online.  I knew could do that, and it’d be fine.  I’d be fine.

But now I’m here on the high side of 30 and realizing all the things about being an older woman that await me.  Stuff that nobody EVER talks about.  Man, if you think periods are a no-go in polite society, bring up menopause sometime.  What do any of us ever hear about in terms of what changes are normal for an older woman vs. what we should hit up a doctor or something about?  How many examples do society give us about how an older woman continues maintaining a rich, fulfilling social life?  Pretty much nada.  Only other women who’ve been there can tell me.  Why the fuck don’t we talk to them?  They’re the people who hold the secret to our future.

I thank god for fandom and social media, because it’s what has put me in touch with women I can dish about this stuff with.

[lux-obscura]

And this isn’t (in my experience) something you struggle with once you hit a watershed year and then put behind you.  At least once a week I have a minor meltdown over night being an adult, or not being the right kind of adult, or being headed for spinsterhood, or never getting laid again or never falling in love, all because I’m single, over thirty and childless.  The frequency with which those fears are reinforced by society and the media is just terrifying to me, and some days it’s all I can do to shake it off.

But here’s the truth I’ve found for myself in all this:  I’m the only adult in this house, so I get to define what that means.  Being an adult isn’t some measure of success or worth or ability.  Literally all that it means is that I am of legal age to participate fulling in society and government within the bounds of all the laws on the books here in this country, and I’m held responsible if I break any of those laws.  That’s literally it, for me.

So inside of that framework I get to build a life for myself and I can fill it with whatever brings me joy, whether that’s knitting or writing or watching YouTube Let’s Plays or playing video games or reading comics or travelling.  

I mean look, I gripe about adulting as much as the next person because really, there’s not a lot of joy to be found in paying the bills, scrubbing the floors or negotiating Target on the Saturday before the Superbowl.  But all those chore-tasks that we call “adulting” are really only a small part of what it means to be an adult.  You, as the main adult in charge of your life, get to fill all those other spaces with things that bring you joy, peace or a really good head rush.

Venues like tumblr are instrumental in connecting with other women and sharing a kind of casual camaraderie because really, society as a whole has done us so wrong here that I feel like no one really knows how to navigate this, but we’re all here together sharing vacation photos and UFyH progress and cinnamon bun recipes and risque selfies and straight up porn and saying, “Hey, I don’t know man but have you tried this?  It’s pretty cool.”

[feytaline-loves-deactivated2018]

SO MUCH TRUTH

Kids here have *literally* tried to bully me using my age. It’s kind of hilarious. Oh, no, I survived THREE DECADES, I’ve clawed my way to a stable adult life, I have fought through HELL to finally love myself, but I should be ashamed to have fandom interests because I’m too ‘old’??!

Lol naw get the fuck outta here with your ageist bullshit. I’ll be out here, finally enjoying my life. I hope you’ll make it to this place someday, too, instead of loudly bragging about your youth as you silently dread your ‘expiration date.’

[justabrowncoatedwench]

Hell, I wouldn’t be the fandom absorbed person I am without my mother (and father’s too) influencing my childhood with all of the things she loved and still loves. And she was 37 when she had me! Meaning she was over 40 by the time I was really old enough to GET any of the things she wanted to share with me!

[nestofstraightlines]

Reblogging because this is important and frankly it’s damn comforting to see other women talking about this stuff. So yeah I’ll admit that I freak the hell out about age and what that does to myr identity as a women, and as a geek.

Tumblr definitely has a distorted lens where 30+ is considered old but (I swear to god sometimes I want to shake my zimmerframe at the screen and shout “I’m still relvent! I still go out in Shoreditch at the weekend! I still throw up on the night bus and kiss terrible men (sometimes in that order)! I should probably look at some of my lifestye choices! What was I saying?”) but it’s not THAT far from attitudes in real life. Of course we change and grow up as we get older. But just because I have meetings and try to do yoga and some of my friends have children doesn’t mean there isn’t time in my life for the hobbies and interests I’ve always had, and that make me ME. As well as the vomiting on public transport. Why should I give it up? The men don’t have to.

[ruthannedopp]

I just turned twenty six this year and have begun to feel this expiration anxiety. I'm single, childless and still trying to figure out the whole career thing. Meanwhile most of my friends seem to have settled down into coupledom, child rearing or/and careers. I constantly worry if I'm adult enough, if I get drunk on weekends too much, if I'm doing it all "right" somehow. This post is so comforting. It reminds me of my grandmother. She never let herself be defined by any of society's boxes. She got her masters degree in her 40s and lived her life well into her 80s on her own terms cultivating a variety of interest and deep friendships. She never let anyone dictate to her what her life should be she just lived it with enthusiasm and strength. I want to be that kind of woman.

[buzzfeedau]

Gospels from the mouth of DanRad

[tingletanglebob-deactivated2017]

“fuck that, I’m Harry Potter”

[interruptingpanda]

That would be my answer to damn near everything. 

[parseltonquinq]

Dan Rad needs to be protected at all costs

[ruthannedopp]

❤️

[mikemaihack]

Here’s a bunch of cats in a library I painted yesterday. If you’re a librarian headed to ALA Orlando in June, that’s where it’ll be! It’s for the silent art auction.

[geekandmisandry]

American recipes are like

2 tablespoons of spice you have never heard of

1 can of a food that does not come in a can in your country, wtf America why is everything in cans??

1 stalk pf something that has a totally different name where you are from and you have to google what it is

2 ounces of this liquid … what the fuck is an ounce??

Preheat oven to some temperature that sounds like it is as hot as the sun

Turn on a broiler. Find out what a broiler is. 

2 pounds, dammit where is my calculator, of this product that seems to be plentiful in America but non existence in your country. Google how to get it on some shady black market.

Give up and wonder what the hell America even is. 

[caoanonymousgoa-deactivated2016]

This is so surreal to me because I live in America and this sounds like a sensible format for a recipe and I am wondering where the confusion is from.

[nestofstraightlines]

And this doesn’t even cover the fact tat America thinks cups and sticks are an acceptable way to measure things…

[ruthannedopp]

Reblogging for the mic drop in the last comment 😂

[gamechangershow]

Relatable. 

Office Job vs Retail Job by @noobtheloser

Check out Confessions of a Retail Worker

[sridevi]

Aishwarya Rai || Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke (2000)

[lifeunderthewaves]

Silky Shark in a Bait Ball by ortwinkhan Every intruder into the group of silky sharks is checked…. it could be lunch :)

[cutie-sharks]

Awww… Cute silkies. =D

[lopmon]

[ruthannedopp]

True

[temporary-lilac-sky-deactivated]

signs as shakespeare quotes

Aries: Come not between the dragon and his wrath

Taurus: Dream in light years, challenge miles, walk step by step

Gemini: Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs

Cancer: If music be the food of love, play on

Leo: Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once

Virgo: The earth has music for those who listen

Libra: We know what we are, but not what we may be

Scorpio: Though she be but little, she is fierce

Sagittarius: It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves

Capricorn: I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed

Aquarius: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind

Pisces: We are such stuff that dreams are made on

[ruthannedopp]

#scorpio

[theticklishpear]

“I went to [Tolkien’s] public lectures. They were absolutely appalling. In those days a lecturer could be paid for his entire course even if he lost his audience, provided he turned up for the first lecture. I think that Tolkien made quite a cynical effort to get rid of us so he could go home and finish writing Lord of the Rings.”

“He gave his lectures in a very, very small room and didn’t address us, his audience, at all. In fact he looked the other way, with his face almost squashed up against the blackboard. He spoke in a mutter. His mind was on finishing Lord of the Rings, and he was really musing to himself about the nature of narrative. But I found this so fascinating that I came back week after week, as did one other person. I’ve always wondered what became of him, because he was obviously equally fascinated. And because we stuck there, Tolkien couldn’t go away and write Lord of the Rings! He would say the most marvelous things about the way you take a very basic plot and twitch it here and twitch it there—and it becomes a completely different plot.”

—-Diana Wynne Jones

#I don’t know if I find this more enchanting for a really interesting discussion on worldbuilding and narrative #or the fact that DIANA WYNNE JONES PREVENTED JRR FROM WORKING ON LOTR A WHOLE SEMESTER BECAUSE SHE MADE HIM DO HIS JOB OH MY GOOOOOOOD THAT #IS #HILARIOUS #I LOVE HER SO MUCH

(via basileus)