Greetings! I'm Saccherine. I use any/all pronouns and present femme! I'm very passionate about my interests and often info dump to those I care about! I am autistic along with disabilities that can make my life harder to deal with, so I may take breaks from writing every so often!
I'm open to writing most things, but I will decline if I find it out of my expertise or something I'm comfortable with. Alot of my content is labeled 16+ and others 18+, So I'd prefer if those who read my work stay 18 or older.
Genshin:
MASTERLIST
Ex lovers with something more..? (University! Scaramouche x F! Reader) (Ongoing series)
Creepypasta:
Why death is more important than homework (High school! Creepypasta x F!Reader) (Ongoing series)
My eyes opened to the petrifying scene of kaveh with his mouth hanging open, thick drool spread across his fair face, obviously accompanied by his OBNOXIOUS snoring. My brows knit together, annoyance bubbling in my chest.
'Bloodly bastard...' with a swift motion I kicked him in the leg, which awoke him as he fell backwards onto the floor. A loud THUD and an angry kaveh sprung forward. "The hell was that for?" He grumbled, absently rubbing his head and then wiping his face as he realized drool coated his cheekbones. How did that happen? No clue, I was asleep. "I will strangle you half to death if I wake up ONE MORE TIME TO YOUR RETCHED NOISES" I scoffed.
He grumbled in response, lifting up and... DRAGGING ME OFF THE BED. "YOU BITCH- LEAVE MY FEET ALONE" I struggled in his grasp, desperately kicking until I fall face first onto the floor. I lock eyes with his red irises, a smug expression lay on his face. "I'm actually going to get you", to that kaveh tilted his face and stuck his tongue out.
I sprung up, at my feeble attempt to grab his hand, failing miserably, falling once again. He sprung out the room to which I follow.
Then I stop, stare at the scene before me. Kaveh face front on alhaithams chest, both collapsed to the floor. A snort left my mouth as I watched kaveh slowly lift up and lock eyes with alhaitham. "I don't usually do this for free" the silver haired man muttered, slight amusement in his tone. Kavehs face lifted several shades brighter as he scrambled to get off him. He jumps onto his feet and walks abruptly off. "WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS EVER" kavehs embarrassed announcement echoed through the room.
I locked eyes with Alhaitham, a smirk layed upon his face. He cocked an eyebrow, "You so have a thing for him", I coughed. He tilted his head and simply shrugged "Who wouldn't?". My jaw DROPPED, the audacity he has to just walk away nonchalantly after that statement is crazy. Especially knowing Kaveh is too oblivious to notice their obvious mutual attraction.
I passed through the campus gates, swiveling through crowds. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, headphones plugged in. I felt almost peaceful, as if doom didn't await me in class. Suddenly someone knocks me over, once again I've fallen face first onto the floor. Air instantly knocked out of my lungs. I quickly look upwards, a scowl present on my face. I took in the perpetrators features, blue eyes and auburn hair that fell just right on the frame of his face. He looked almost panicked, "You alright girly?" He offered his hand. My frown seemed to ease as I took his hand and stood up-
Just to see the faces of people I'd named dead in my eyes. I quickly look back at the ginger male, heart racing as the familiar gazes lingered deeply onto me "You've got two eyes, right?" I spoke, words slipping out of my lips with ease as if my heart wasn't shitting itself. The auburn male tilted his head, "Yeah? Don't most people?", I furrowed my brows further and rolled my eyes as I passed him by. "Then use them" I scoffed, walking with ease once again. Ignoring the eyes that burned through my back, the way his eyes crinkled in amusement as he chuckled.
I felt my face turning hot, lips curled tightly now that I wasn't facing them. This is humiliating, I never wanted to see HIS face ever again.
________
Scaramouche POV;
My eyes locked onto hers, I felt my heart drop. It's her, it's been so long. I shut my eyes tightly, annoyance and guilt bubbling in my gut.
Though, as soon as she came into contact with me, she left just as quickly. She didn't glance at me once, no acknowledgement. Nothing. It felt worse than if she were to yell insults to my face.
"Then use them", she spoke. Her face looked certain, confidence shining off her body. It would've fooled anyone, anyone who didn't know her as well as I did. Subconsciously, the corner of my lips lifted. A chuckle left my mouth, "I missed that", I mumbled. Spoken so quietly as if the words would disrupt the world itself. Once I noticed the amusement, I covered it with an angry scowl. She can NEVER see me vulnerable, I don't want anyone to see through me.
I glance back towards the group, locking eyes with venti. "Well that was awkward", Kazuha, white haired and elegant in a way. No, more like high as a kite 24/7, to the point he was so calm and mellow. His eyes were clear, so I suppose he didn't smoke before school opened.
"Yo, comrade" I snapped back to reality as a hand brushed against my shoulder. With a rough push, I shoved him away from me. "Don't touch me." I scoffed, a confused look settled upon his face. "Geez, grumpy as always"
I won't let anyone see through me again, not even a close friend.
I slumped against my door, legs shook despite my many attempts to stabilize myself. I absent-mindedly chewed on my mangled nail, anxiety was coursing through me.
'Why, why is he avoiding me? We had a good date last week, what changed..?'. Thoughts kept rushing through my brain, is it me? What did I do wrong? Why does he act like he hates me one minute then is glued to my side the next? I just want him to love me like I love him.
Earlier I attempted to sit by him during lunch period, he didn't even glance my way as he stood and left.
My teeth chattered, causing a small sound to echo around my room. I flicked on my phone, 'No new messages'. Fuck, do I text him? What do I say?
It felt as if my world drained of colour, my heart beat against my ribcage. As if it were trying to escape the mess of my heartbreak. My throat burned with that familiar feeling of betrayal and pure agony. With a sharp inhale, I tried to name five things I could see.
"I see my bed.. my comforter" My eyes danced across the room, blinking rapidly as if it'd take away the heavy flow of tears welling in my eyes. My body shook, 'I love him.', I threw my head forward, as if it'd change anything. My hand wrapped tightly around my shirt, to stabilize me in a way. A choked sob rang out, snot and tears mixing as one.
"Why" I asked the void, "WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME.", Yet, silence was all that followed. The only reply was my shattered heart and the tears that flowed endlessly down my cheek.
CHAPTER NOTES:
This was made purely to show the backstory of why Kuni and [Name] weren't on good terms. I might re do it in a few days, as I'm half asleep while writing this. The next chapters should be longer!
Aged 24, Majoring in Theater Arts. She had always flair, which most didn't like. Often alone, until she joined University. Her roommates became some of her best friends, they soon built a strong friendgroup who she cherishes deeply.
COFFINDWELLER
Known as Hu Tao, famously known for her families famous funeral parlor.
She previously majored in Business yet switched to Neurobiology. Why? No one knows, some think it was a random urge. She's aged 23.
Luminateme
Known by 'Traveler' and Lumine.
Lumine is aged 22, her and her twin brother never stayed in one place. Always moving town to town, country from country. That was until they turned 17 and chose to stay in one place to graduate, and eventually join University together. She met her roommates and soon found happiness. She majors in Psychology.
Masterchef101
Known by Xiangling and also for her world famous chef father!
She's aged 24, Majoring in Culinary Arts. Her father was her biggest inspiration, she yearned to be just as a great chef as him. Often she makes food for her friends, especially Kaveh and [Name] knowing that they both work so hard and forget to eat.
Vers1es
He's known as Kaveh, 25 majoring in Architecture.
He had always been a passionate worker, studying hard along with making sure every piece he made was perfect. He used to have a best friend
(or something more)
Yet a messy friend breakup split them apart, when he moved in with his roommates he learned there was another who went through exactly the same thing. Now him and his two roommates found a strong friendgroup, one that won't break away.
ITTITO
He didn't go to university yet he still found a strong friendgroup, one which he did on accident. He grew up rough, an orphan until someone took him in. His ma.
He did teach kids to fight, often in rings winning each time!
Ayaya 💓
Known as Ayaka, aged 22 majoring in martial arts.
She had always been more of a loner, Never making many friends. Atleast, until she met Lumine. Then Furina, after that she made many lovely friends. She never knew friendship was so fulfilling until university.
[Name]
[Name] is age 22, Majoring in psychology.
She had a rough breakup, leaving her isolated and with much grief. Until she moved into her dorm and met her best friends. She still thinks of him, a bad habit she picked up was drinking with kaveh. Though, she did end up getting into a relationship, was it a happy one? No. She missed Kuni more than anything in the world. She'd never admit that.
22 year old majoring in STEM for engineering. He dated [Name] though after a messy breakup they went no contact. Though, sometimes Venti catches him staring at photos from many years ago.
Alatuspeek
Known as Xiao.
24 years old, Majoring in Health, specifically psychology. Shares a class with Lumine and [Name]. He was an introvert throughout high school, yet somehow Aether always stuck to his side.
Fighterflight
Known by many names, Childe, tartaglia and mostly by Ajax.
He's 24 years old, Majoring in Business. He shares a class with Hu Tao. Which helped him meet Itto.
Lyney!!!
Known as Lyney.
Theater Arts major, Aged 21 years old. He grew up a theater kid in Fontaine, which moving out with just him and his sister was a big change. Luckily he met Furina, who helped settle him.
Poet4mis
Known as Kazuha.
Aged 22, had been great friends with Kuni and Venti since early childhood. He majors in English literature and Creative writing, something he enjoyed since very young.
Twinimin
Known as 'Traveler' and Aether.
Aether is aged 22, him and his twin sister never stayed in one place. Always moving town to town, country from country. That was until they turned 17 and chose to stay in one place to graduate, and eventually join University together. Majoring in Philosophy.
Venti
He's gone by many names, often mistaken for a God. Yet all remember him as 'Venti'
He has always been a free spirit, often the glue in his friend group. He majors in every Music Major, somehow juggling each effortlessly (While majorly hungover or drunk). He's aged 24.
Scaramouche x Reader [Ex lovers with something more..?]
Femme presenting reader.
In which you dated him in highschool, a messy breakup left you heartbroken and yearning for words you both left unsaid. University was... Lonely. Until you began dorming.
i sat here and thought about reblogging this or not but then i realized how many people feel suicidal, and i have too its not dan and phil but i could honestly care less, bc i rather have someone not die then make sure i strictly stay to my ‘blog type’
I decided to post all three chapters in one post so here we go! Lmk what you guys think. Cross posted from Ao3.
Multi x reader, Minor descriptions of sexual assault, Minor descriptions of domestic abuse, Implied self harm, Minor descriptions of suicide attempt, Heavily implied grooming, Implied drug use, Everyone is a piece of shit, Toby is a piece of shit, oc's included as side characters.
Tw: Before and after descriptions of dark topics. **** indicates the start and ending of such scenes
_____
I had always been... quiet. It wasn't that I wanted to, it was purely survival. Survival against these evil fucking kids.
Friends? I had those, well, not really. But they let me sit next to them as they talked, I could eat food while some of them made out. Toby and Natalie. I guess you could say they were soulmates, instant connection and all that jazz.
Though you never knew if the relationship would stick, they constantly broke up and got back together.
I hated how much it stung. How deeply I felt as I watched the boy I loved fall inlove with another.
I preferred to stay observant. Explaining how I felt led to being shut down or piting expressions. It's not like anyone cares.
I used to be close with them, I used to laugh and joke. It used to be fun being near them but. I'm invisible now. Would my presence even matter? Did they even notice?
"Euegh, GET A GODDAMN ROOM AND SUCK YOUR FACES THERE" The pale boy spat out, pure disgust weaving through his face. He had pale skin and slightly rosey cheeks, blue eyes, brown hair that seemed to flow effortlessly around the frame of his face. A girl, brown wavy hair and pale green eyes, broke free from another boys grasp. Natalie, well, people call her Clockwork since she has a clock prosthetic in her right eye, she was kissing Toby Erin Roger's.
Toby, the boy I loved. It didn't matter, I was a nobody in this shitty middle school. The group I lingered by was called 'The Proxies'. They were the, quote on quote, 'cool kids', and the, 'trouble makers'. Overall, edgy outcasts. Though, I was the outcast in a group of outcasts.
I used to be included, though, it seems like I slowly faded from their worlds. No matter if my presence was there or not, I didn't exist to them.
I sat idly as they, one by one, got up from the table and left. Not one glance towards me, not even a single look.
I brushed the shaggy uneven cut hair out of my face, I stood up and slowly made my way out of the cafeteria.
People walked past me, some gave dirty looks. Well, I don't blame them. My messy, uneven hair looked.. Horrendous. It was a punishment of mine, my father did it. He told me,
"Now you look as ugly as you are inside of that wretched mind of yours".
He didn't believe me, no one did.
I mindlessly made my way through the hallways and stood infront of a brown wooden door. I swallowed hard and knocked softly on the door, I heard the lock click open and the door abruptly swung open.
It was one of my teachers. He had a dad belly, a bulbous nose and red itchy skin layering his face. He was... okay I guess. He was nice, gave me gifts and compliments. Called me his 'little bunny'.
"Mm come in, come in" He rasped. He had a firm voice, (unlike his body), balding hair at the ripe age of 36 and stubby legs.
****
I sat myself down on a chair, subconsciously pulling down at my skirt. His eyes trailed my body, obvious in the most disgusting ways. "What- what did you uhm" I paused and quickly mumbled "did you need me for, I don't want to be late for class".
"Well, I have an important lesson about anatomy. Miss Jennings won't mind if you miss her class, you wouldn't want to leave me all alone?" He purred, blinking his lashes as if it's persuade me. Unfortunately for me, I'm sort of a people's pleaser so I caved in.
_____
My legs burned, feet ached and my stomach churned in the most awful way. I curled up next to the bush, gagging as the bile rose up my throat. A burning sensation roughly shoved its way up my throat and out of my mouth. For the third time in 2 hours, I threw up. The hurl ran down my mouth, god I didn't care.
I glanced down at myself, my legs had, now dried, blood caked over me. My uniform ripped and tattered in certain places. I was an absolute mess.
Tears burned through my eyes, I couldn't bear to think of what just happened.
Of what HE TOOK FROM ME.
My hands absent-mindedly rubbed at my skin. Soon the rubbing turned into scratching. I ripped through my own flesh as I choked on air. "I, I- Hiccup -CAN'T" I choked out, tears pouring through my puffy eyes.
I needed to scrub it away, EVERYTHING AWAY. The filth he lay on me, the layers of impurity. I was tainted, the stark reminder being the burning at my core and the blood that never seemed to fully dry off.
As I steadied myself on a nearby tree, I pushed myself forward. Home. Home now, I can't let them see me. I can't let Toby see how FILTHY I am.
_____
The cold wooden tiles of my bedroom floor felt like a sanctuary, no squeezing hands. Nothing ripping through me. Just, the cold touch of a looming death.
I traced lines on my wrist, mind fuzzy and blank,
I couldn't help but imagine ripping out my tendons and using them as a noose
I force myself up forward, 'No, I'm not weak'. I'm stronger, I wouldn't. I couldn't..' My eyes glazed over at the collection of pills, quetiapine stacked along with pain soothers that could knock out a horse. I never really knew why I hid them, it wasn't mine, obviously. I always subconsciously collected them whenever my mother wasn't aware. My father he... Nevermind.
My fingers traced the foil air pockets, pressing deeper with my nail,
'Just do it, no one will miss you'
I sat forward, leaning on my right leg. No, I'm not weak. I'm NOT WEAK.
'No one could ever love someone as FILTHY as you'
I rose a hand forward, reaching towards the packets. 'Maybe I am weak..'
'You are worth nothing'
I ripped open the packet, tearing through the foil and swallowing the pills dry.
'Take another, no one cares to watch'
I take another, then another, and another.
'Maybe for once your life meant something'
I stumbled forward, clutching the packet of melatonin.
'Your death will show the world you suffered'
I forced the pills down my throat, the chalk taste poisoning my tastebuds.
'It'll be a rebellion. A rebellion against all who wronged you.'
I lay back, watching the ceiling, waiting.
'Just die already, that'll be the best thing you can do.'
I closed my eyes, my mind going fuzzy.
'DIE.'
****
______
Niniz- GOORLL WHERED YA GO >_<
Sent | Unopened
Niniz- HELLLAURR THE GROUPS GONNA HANG AT BRI'S
Sent | Unopened
Niniz- Haayyyy its been likeee 3 hours wya
Sent | Unopened
Niniz- SIGHHSS IM COMING TO GET YAAA I MISS YOUUUU
Sent | Unopened
Niniz- [Name], why is there an ambulance at your house???
Sent | Unopened
Niniz- Please answer me I'm freaking out.
Sent | Unopened
____
Jeff- Wtf are you ignoring Nina
Sent | Unopened
____
Jane- Hey hun, Nina told us about the ambulance. I hope you're okay xx
Sent | Unopened
____
Tobez- Yu gud?
Sent | Unopened
Tobez- is this abt nat? Plz don't be overreacting
Sent | Unopened
Tobez- Nina told me about the ambulance. Please answer me I can't lose you too.
Sent | Unopened
____
'Beep Beep Beep'
"I don't CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, GET HER SOME HELP!" A firm but emotional voice scorched out, her puffy eyes resembled the torment going through her brain, her sweet sweet baby girl tried to kill herself and now the doctors won't even give them ANY information.
She basically had to rip out the information from their throats. "Ma'am, I know this is a scary situation but we need you to remain calm until further notice." A blonde girl spoke with a straight face, medical board in hand along with her nurse scrubs. The bags under her eyes indicated how unbelievably exhausted she was. Nonetheless she still stood firm.
The other woman, [Name]s mother, stood in a shakey form. 'Asking me to be calm? Be calm? BE CALM?? MY BABYGIRL JUST-' She inhaled a sharp deep breath and released it shortly after.
"I apologize, I didn't mean to be so harsh", the nurse nodded in understanding.
"The head doctor has informed me that they are transferring your daughter into a mental health facility for further treatment. We just need parental consent before we press further. We found fresh and scarred wounds on her body, which we believe could be self mutilation. Along with what seems to be bruising in her pelvis and foreign DNA along with dried blood in her lower region." The nurse paused for a moment, catching her breath.
"We believe she is a victim to continuous sexual abuse, further treatment for her physical and mental wounds is heavily recommended" She shook her blonde locks, hazy brown eyes closed for a brief moment, she lay a stack of papers down infront of the shell shocked parents.
The man, my father, looked sick. Nauseous. My mother, tears began to free flow down her face once again. They exchanged a look, a knowing one before nodding to the nurse.
And that, that's how I ended up here.
My legs sprawled across the red haired boy, shitty box dye frying his hair. His long limbs extended onto the tile floors. I shifted my position, though, nothing could bring me more comfort as the ground was literally concrete tiles.
"God this place sucked" I muttered under my breath, smacking my dry lips together. My best friend, the fried haired boy, seemed to have heard me. "Beggers can't be choosers, plus, aren't ya leaving this place today?" His raspy but light voice replied, his nonchalance would've eased me if it weren't for the fact I've been living in this SHITHOLE for FOUR YEARS STRAIGHT.
"Yeah.. So comforting, it's not like I haven't had contact with the normie world in four years" I groaned, immediately sitting up and twisting my body so my head could rest on his shoulders and legs lay by my sside.
"Will you wait for me?" He asked, his brown eyes seemed to bore through my skin. I nodded softly, dipping my head further into him. "Wouldn't trade my bestfriend for anything", he let out a sigh of relief.
"Good, because that one chopped ass guard has been calling your name out for five minutes now". Now THAT caught my attention, my head shot up and my eyes flickered across the room. Eventually, and quickly, it landed on a tall and broad man. He had little to no hair, a tremendously long beard and a firm face.
I rose to my feet, a nervous pit twisting in my stomach. "Don't take forever, girl, you have a car waiting for you", his voice croaked out. As if it hadn't been used in years. I nodded at the older man and walked forward, though, I paused as the churning in my stomach continued. I glanced behind me and smiled at my bestfriend,
"I'll see you when you get out, Cairo. You have my address" I yelled out, a strained grin spread across my face. God, I'd miss his hazel eyes.
_____
The car door clicked open, the breeze wafting past my face. I scrunched my nose slightly, the smell of trees being so new to me. Well, not 'exactly' new- Nevermind. My parents- well, mother, had been talking my ears off since I stood infront of the creaky hospital doors. I honestly tuned her out. I'll shut my eyes momentarily, just to recover.
Annndddd that did nothing, so I walk into my shitty house. The air is thick with musk, smoke aswell. Guess dad never quit cigarettes, bonus for me. I get 'ta snag 'em when he is knocked out. The house looks.. the same since I last entered, creaky floorboards, wooden floor and bare walls with little to no pictures or paintings.
With a stride, I walk forwards. I turn left and enter the staircase, each step feeling heavier and heavier. I jump forward, bouncing off the last step and stand tall. My hand glided across the door, my bedroom.
A sharp inhale, one step forward and the twist of the handle. I enter my room, its... the exact same. Memories flash through my mind, the.. the night everything changed. A soft ringing spreads across my sense, leaving nothing but the sound and dizziness to accompany me. A sharp rattling knock shakes me out of my haze, I look towards my already open door.
"Hey hun, I just thought I'd give you this back" My mother said, soft smile, gravely voice and empty eyes. I glance away from her body, shuffle forward and grab the phone, "Thanks," I muttered, yet, as quickly as the words left my lips, arms wrapped suffocatingly around me.
"I'm.. I'm so glad you're back", then as quickly as it began, it ended. She shut my door, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the lingering warmth of motherly love.
My eyes lingered on the door before turning towards the newly found phone in my hand. I turn it over then press the on button.
28%
I haven't used a phone in so long, what do I even do with it?
47%
I could redo my socials and find Cairo's old accounts from before we met.
74%
I could scope out the schools around here, I faintly remember mother talking about an offer I got
87%
I could buy.. drugs..?
98%
God this is taking way too long.
99%
My phone begins to vibrate, a glow emitting the screen. Faint cracks lay over it, though not enough to block out full view of the screen.
100%.
I open the phone, waiting for the apps to load when a barrage of texts come flooding through. I could barely even register who or what it said, due to the fact it seemed like hundreds of them just kept coming. Finally, the last of it came, I scrolled through them all.
A deep gut wrenching feeling twists through me, I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Nina.. Jeff.. Toby.. hmm.." I felt... nothing, okay maybe a little bit of resentment but whatever. I decide to just... not open any of them, my fingers hover over the delete button until I see a very specific message from an unsaved number.
????????
He sees. You're the one he's watching
Sent 1 week ago | Opened
Okay so now I have a weird stalker, that's fun. So very fun! What a lovely thing to come home to, just great! ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY GREAT!
A scowl spreads across my face, I throw the phone away, in hopes the stalker leaves along with it. I take small steps forward until I leap into my bed, closing my eyes.
Maybe I should reply to my old friends. I haven't spoken to them in so long, plus maybe they know the stalker!
Do I contact them?
(The choice you make impacts how the story goes on forward)
__________________
Percentages:
Your actions impact the relationships you have around you. The percentages of characters important to the story are shown.
TO: ?????
Crickets buzzed, birds chirped, the sunlight molested my eyes. I scrunched up in disgust, 'how DARE the sun decide to wake me without MY consent'. A huff of annoyance left my lips, with a small shuffle I forced my eyes open. Sunlight peeked through my curtain, obviously is temporarily blinded me, so I threw the covers back over my head. I can deal with life later... Maybe.
Though, as soon as I close my eyes, a loud CRASH echoes throughout the house. I froze, eyes instinctively widened and breath halted. 'Oh god, please no. Not again.', I focused all my morning energy to tune into the noise from downstairs. Another loud CRASH shook the house, along with yelling and curse words wafting through the walls. A dark ugly feeling coiled deep into my gut, I threw the covers off and stumbled forward. I glanced around, going straight towards my closet. I shuffled through my clothes, "Bullshit.. Gross, ABSOLUTELY NOT and for GODS SAKE." An irritated grunt escaped my throat, All of my clothes were too... Edgy to wear outside my house. Infact, outside my room or even to wear at all! 'Why did I go through a shein 'emo phase', the thought slipped my mind immediately as another set of yelling bounced around the house.
I roll my eyes. I throw on what I wore last night, a tank top and baggy jeans. My hand reaches the cold door handle, I take a sharp inhale and let it escape through my nose. 'Just go in and out... In and out.. in and...', I swing the door open, quickly trample downstairs and stand in the hallway. "M-mum..?" My voice was raspy with sleep, 'fuck. I stuttered'. A scoff leaves my mouth until a looming figure catches my attention, "Fuck you doin'?". I sharply gulp, "Just er, l'm looking for mum. Is she around here-?", the Man, my father, chuckled a little. "That old ass is sulking in the foyer".
I nodded and passed by him, chills running up my spine. God I HATED him. With a few strides forward I reached the foyer, mother was smoking. Her hands shook, either it's from the nicotine or its related to the puffy eyes she had. Her glossy eyes locked with mine, "Hey hon, sleep well?". I nodded softly, taking a moment to look around before I spoke.
An endless fog consumed the tree line in my backyard, flowers sprouting through fence gaps and grass as green as a neon marker. My mind felt hazy, "Yeah, I slept well". My eyes shifted back to my mother,
She always loved me, in her own twisted way. She was present just not emotionally. Atleast not fully. I felt my throat tighten, I shut my eyes until the tears went away. After a few seconds a cough brought me back to the present. "Hey mum?"
"Yes honey,?" "Could I have some cash? All my clothes are... (fucking horrendous), not my style anymore". She met my eyes, a subtle furrow in her brows before she sighed and nodded. "Yeah, here take the last of my cash. I should have around... $20-" she shuffled through her wallet,
Yet instead of one $20, it was four $20 dollars. "-Oh yeah, uh, take a-all of that I guess.." she muttered. A wide smile spread through my face, a devious smile I would say. I quickly snatch the cash and run away.
I slam the door open and rush out the house, '20.. 40.. 60.. EIGHTY??' A giggle erupts from my chest. I'M BASICALLY RICH.
______
I browsed through hot topic, nothing was 'up to my style', I liked the belts so I brought two. Keyword, 'brought'. As if I'd pay $20 for a singular belt, fucking crazy or sum. I practically skipped down to the next cheap clothing store I found in this crappy mall, 'I swear this mall was fancier..', I looked towards a run down looking store.
BINGO! I found some band tees for only $15, some fur (sewing things obvi), cute shorts, low rise flare jeans. As I reach for the cutest fur hoodie I've ever seen, a hand brushes against mine. I lock eyes with a short pink haired girl, she had thick black eyeliner, halter top, snug hoodie, blinged out glasses on her head along with leopard print shorts. "Oh- shit sorry mate. Ya can take it" she exclaimed, a silly smile playing on their lips.
A soft smile spreads through my lips. I grab the hoodie, "Thank you" I nodded and attempted to walk away until a voice called out once again. "I'm Venus, you new around here?" I turn back towards her, "Nah, Just been gone for awhile I guess. I'm __". She walked by my side with fast strides, "Cool cool, do you smoke?", to that I nodded eagerly. "Fuck yeah I do", I quickly paid for my items and stuffed them in two bags. I look back towards Venus, smile and softly chirp "Let's get going?".
____
I flicked the ash off the half burnt cigarette, the hot smoke wafting through the air. I always loved cigarettes, the brief buzz that filled my lungs, I needed more. Something... harder.
A voice interrupted my train of thoughts, "Sooo.. you from around here? Don't see new faces often". My eyes drifted to her eyes "Yeah, Just been gone for a few years", she nodded though curiosity peeked through her eyes. "How so, something dramatic? Intriguing? Embarrassing?", they had a mischievous grin. Her statement made a small giggle erupted from my chest, "Nothing toooo grand, just" I paused, for dramatic flair obviously, "Psych ward, Yada Yada, tried to kill myself when I was like... er, twelve..? Thirteen?"
I glanced back towards her eyes, though, my breath caught in my throat. She looked.. pained? Maybe it was understanding, maybe a little pity. "Ah, right. Gotcha", regret bubbles in my gut. "Shit, sorry I shouldn't have- fuck." I take a long inhale of the cigarette, hoping the awkward silence would dissipate.
"No no, you're algood. I didn't realize it was so, personal. My fault, reeni" they placed a hand on my shoulder, supposedly in a comforting way yet I can never be too sure. A snort leaves my body, "all dramatic for what? Im alive and kicking, Doctors can hold me down as much as they can. But I'll continue to grow stronger and beat their asses!" I confidently announced, arrogance fleeting my features. A giggle leaves the pink haired girl, "Arrogant much?" She joked.
I nodded, "If I don't believe in myself, who will?". Silence filled the space between us, but there was a sort of understanding that linked us together.
My friend, my first real friend.
________
The sky turned darker every moment, my feet made sounds each stride I took forward. My headphones loosely hung over my head, hair tucked nicely around my face. Venus taught me how to do some sick ass makeup so I use those new found skills on myself~! The birds chrips slowed, cars absently passed by.
The streets were mostly empty. As I continued my journey forward until my eye caught something, a park. Shitty run down swings and a slide. Seemed empty, so I headed towards it. I settle on the swing, it groaned in dismay. A scoff left my lips, "Stupid swings.. I'm not that fat" I muttered, slight frown. Though, a sound of creaking beside me interrupted my angered mumbled.
"Chilly night" a raspy voice called out, I glanced towards its source. Though, I wasn't prepared to see an old friends older brother. He had deep green eyes, scars that littered around his face. He had ashy brown hair that feel over his frame along with a soft look that carried it. "..Liu?". I felt my soul leave its body, 'God I hope he doesn't recognize me-'
"____, is that you?" His eyes widened, taken aback purely by my presence. My eyes felt like bulging out of my skull, a deep sinking pit in my stomach. "Yeah, Hi" I mumbled. "Holy shit, where? Where the hell did you go?" He leaned in so sharply that it caught me off guard, eyes focused on me. "You look, different". I glanced away, from shame or anger? Who knows. (Both). My mouth salivated, 'good god please don't vomit right infront of him-'. I swallow the lingering liquid in my mouth and nodded. "Yeah, I hit puberty. Like every other teenage girl" a sarcastic quip left my lips, ofcourse I regretted it.
"Fuck, sorry. You caught me off guard" I giggled nervously, my hand subconsciously lifted to my lips. He shook his head with a soft chuckle, "No, I get it. It's been four years, can't imagine how shocking this must be to you".
"I was uh, gone for quite some time. Didn't really think anyone would notice", With a small glance back up at him, we locked eyes. He looked... conflicted. His mouth opened once, then twice. Finally, he spoke "I noticed, alot.. went wrong when you disappeared" he gave out a shy smile. Though, I tried to ignore the first comment and instead focused on the last. "Went wrong?", god this curiosity PLAGUED ME. "What didn't go wrong? Jeff had, a moment. Nina followed after and well." In the paused statement, I tilted my head.
"Oh, that sounds like its been stressful for you" with extreme hesitance, I slowly BUT SURELY placed a hand on his shoulder. His brother may have been apart of the assholes who made me feel so invisible, but he was always kind to me.
Spoiled milk sprawled over me, coating my hair in a thick substance. Cackles leave a group of girls, hyenas is what I associated them with. Ugly, loud and cackle like filthy animals on bloodlust high. Flashlights blinded me, obviously because they were recording my 'epic fail'. Fuck me in the ass for trying to walk away,
"She looks like a stray dog, look at her hair-" the whisper overwhelmed me. Tears burned my eyes, quiet sobs leaving my mouth. I was prepared to stay here and take all the humiliation, An unknowing voice broke through the crowd.
"Can you leave her alone?", a tall boy with wispy short hair. "Fuck off, woods. This doesn't involve you or your freak of a brother", a sharp high pitched voice prowled out. Liu, he scoffed. "A freak for not wanting to act like pigs in dresses? Well screw me for not being an asshole like you", a screech erupted through the hallways and a loud thud came after that.
I opened my eyes to see his eye crinkled and a smile that followed ",Still so sweet", I tilted my head. "Hm?", in response he shook his head. "Don't worry about it", I smiled softly in response. A warm feeling spreading through my body, 'this wasn't as bad like I thought'. "You've become really beautiful" He added, a Cheeky smile pressed across his face. He stood up, softly pat my head and turned away. "I've got to go, but I'm glad I got to see you again.".
My mind has been boggled, cheeks warming up as a rushing feeling spread through my veins. 'Me? Beautiful??', I blinked a few times, honestly I was astound. He looked really.. pretty, soft lashes that lay over his alluring green eyes.
'SHUT UP SHUT UP NO, IM NOT GOING TO BE DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE I JUST MET AGAIN.'
I hesitated, yet still let the words form in my mouth "I'm glad we met again", he nodded in response. Then he walked away,
Goodbye, Liu. I hardly knew you
_____________
Percentages
Liu woods: 29% (Up 11)
'She's sweet, still so so sweet.'
(NEW) Venus: 24% (Up 24)
'Sick as hell, I love her style. Seems like she's more of an understanding person, I apreciate that'
