Hani

Just a witch trying to heal. | Hania Lín | All poems are my own.

[sadwitchpoetry]

Summer is slowly leaving and fall is here,

I know you felt the same,

But the love you had for your past and the memories you harbor,

Were far more familiar than the memories you could have made with me,

I know you felt what I felt,

We never needed words,

Just like I knew you would stay loyal to your past,

you knew I would stay loyal,

To the moon and its changing mind.

[sadwitchpoetry]

“My dearest people”

I need to stop writing to people in my life with words for the future. It’s starting to feel like I’m writing so they have something of me. Like I’m not going to be around to say any of this to them. Like I’m going to disappear and all that will be left, are these pages.

[sadwitchpoetry]

“Where have you gone my magnolia”

My face is scarred with old age,

I can’t help but replay memories of young me again,

I’m haunted by them,

I keep reliving a time when my body,

Wasn’t littered with scars of hatred for myself,

And how the wind that carried me through camping trips and roller coaster rides,

Would also carry me through hospital halls,

And unfair times,

If age is the honor I am given,

for surviving the trials sent by God,

I would choose to go back and relive her over again,

Not because I am ungrateful,

But because, I miss her.

[sadwitchpoetry]

“Black coffee with two scoops of sugar”

I wish to look at you,

one of these days,

And only see you,

not the memories attached,

or the way your coffee is made.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“Happiness I’ll never know”

In every memory I create,

even with people I love most,

I’ll always be disgustingly sad,

I feel,

I will never recover,

my soul will always be ill,

life is just a way to remind me,

of all the things,

I will never feel.

“I am in the middle of the Bering sea, with no distractions or service. No wifi or music, I needed a break from it all. I hope to leave all this sadness here. I hope to drown it all, here.”

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“No one left”

I don’t want my misery,

to comfort those around me,

this misery is heavy and suffocating,

it lingers for years on end,

it will sit by your side,

and comfort you,

till there’s no one left,

but you two.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“I will see you again”

The strongest hands,

have lost their strength,

the hands,

that once held me,

and kept me safe,

now look so worn,

and out of place,

especially,

in this small,

hospital space,

I wish,

I could scoop you up,

and fly far,

far away,

into outer space,

and create,

a world,

where we never,

have to say goodbye,

a world,

where you never,

leave my side.

“My papa died. I’m not okay, but I’m trying. I feel very lost. I don’t know where to start from here. How do I live like this? I can’t even eat a meal without feeling sorry. I feel so sorry for him. My poor papa..”

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“To my parents”

I no longer,

search,

for your faces,

in the cheering,

crowd.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“In love with a man,

and his guitar”

You play music,

only I,

can hear.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“”

My illness is Inside,

I show,

I am in pain,

when blood coats my wrists,

and my clothes,

are stained.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“How did you cope with your childhood?”

I searched in my mind,

for the deepest,

darkest room I could find,

I hid inside,

and watched as my life,

slowly,

pass me by.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“The rose of sharon”

As my world turned gray,

and all I knew,

was pain,

there was always a little hand,

reaching back,

whispering,

“We’re gonna be okay”

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“For an angel, I let down”

I should’ve appreciated you,

a lot more,

instead I was too busy,

fighting my own battles,

to see that you were losing,

yours.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“5 years later”

I look at my lover with love and care,

But yet,

I feel heavy despair,

like I’m abandoning something,

or someone,

when I begin to love again,

our memories pull me back,

from giving another human,

your half,

although I feel like someone new,

when I look into their eyes,

I remember,

the way yours,

made me feel holy,

Inside.

-Hania Lín

[sadwitchpoetry]

“How does it feel to lose your soulmate?”

I felt numb,

even to my favorite shows,

that used to make me laugh,

my favorite food,

no longer had any taste,

I went day after day,

just missing your face.

-Hania Lín/ “Spoiled Milk”

[sadwitchpoetry]

""

I look in the mirror,

at a person I don’t know,

I’ve lived with you all my life,

you’ve been with me,

through my darkest days,

yet I never have anything nice to say,

pale skin and dark eyes,

show me the same thing every day,

“I’m sick” they say,

But I look away.

-Hania Lín/ “Spoiled Milk”

[sadwitchpoetry]

"Purple and Blue"

I hate those two colors,

they're unpleasant to me,

the way they look on furniture,

walls,

and my skin,

all look so wrong to me,

but that's all you would make me wear,

purple and blue bruises,

everywhere.

-Hania Lín/ “Spoiled Milk”