my birthday is in july! :)

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sheepfilms

Product Placement
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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AnasAbdin
Three Goblin Art

oozey mess

PR's Tumblrdome

izzy's playlists!
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ojovivo
I'd rather be in outer space đž
Mike Driver

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
tumblr dot com

Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE
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@salix-exigua
my birthday is in july! :)
I was always amused that tabletop roleplaying games were âindoor amusementsâ.
793.93
though I suppose there's nothing stopping you from playing them outdoors besides 551.51 (wind)
âWhy are you watching it again? You already know what happens.â Because The Character is in there, bro. THE CHARACTER
Number of work hours needed to buy GTA VI (North & South America)
(by u/maven_mapping)
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Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!
You forgot the best part
Passenger trains in US vs Europe (image is making the rounds among U.S. transit advocates today)
High speed rail in China on 2008 VS 2020
When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military
So heroic posters showing trashmen battling allegorical monsters? I'm down.
Yeah but that's just the beginning. I also want Sanitation Worker Discounts at every business and blockbuster movie propaganda glorifying sanitation work. I want random people to salute garbage collectors and thank them for their service. I want drivers who get impatient with the recycling truck and honk at it and swerve around it to become social pariahs
I think at bare minimum all medical professionals need to make sure they are treating patients with more kindness and respect than grifters. if you go to a doctor and they treat you like shit, humiliate you, and send you home without any information on your body or access to treatment, then health-grifters' offers will start to feel more tempting by simply giving the most basic performance of taking you seriously and caring about your well-being. grifters should be condemned for manipulating and exploiting sick people, and doctors also play a role in whether grifts thrive or are successfully identified and rejected. genuine baseline human respect, and beginning a relationship with a patient by earning (rather than demanding) trust, goes a long way.
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There is this sort of paradox in unhealthy relationships where the victim will waver on if what their partner is doing to them does or does not rise to the level of abuse. I want to say that it does not matter if what your partner is doing to you fits the dictionary or legal or your personal definition of âabuseâ. If you are in a relationship where it has gotten to the point that youâre wondering if youâre being abused or not, itâs time to start thinking of an exit strategy and putting it into motion. So many people stay in terrible relationships because âitâs not abusiveâ, so many people are waiting for their partner to do something egregious and undeniably abusive before they give themself the permission to leave, when that moment happens, when they hit you or break your phone or scream at you all night before a job interview, the goalpost for what is unacceptable will shift further and further away. Ultimately, it does not matter if your toxic partner is or is not abusive in this moment, if they are doing/saying things that make you feel worse about yourself, feel embarrassed about yourself, feel unsafe, feel smothered, feel dependent on them, feel stupid, etc., it is time to go. It doesnât matter if youâre actually the problem repeatedly setting them off, stop weighing that, maybe they WOULD be happier with another partner, all the more reason to get the fuck away from them and focus on yourself instead. If your partner is making your life worse, go. If your partner is making your life sooooo much better but there are just these little moments where they make you hate yourself, go. Stop qualifying and looking for a justification to go, just leave knowing life is too short to have misery inflicted on you, whether it is abuse or not.
i am an exit is finally complete!
It has been one year since I randomly became obsessed with the character Bucky Barnes and read an absolutely massive amount of fanfiction about him, becoming introduced to fanfiction as an art medium in the process.
After reading so many great fanfictions I had to take a crack at it myself, and i am an exit is what resulted.
Summary
A broken, disillusioned Steve Rogers is afflicted by a delusion that the mysterious assassin who nearly killed him is actually his best friend, who died 70 years ago. SHIELD wants to lock him up and return him to being a perfect, sparkling nationalist symbol as quickly as possible. Sam Wilson, who has wrestled with his own disillusionment and his own ghosts, knows that Steve needs compassion and the support of a true friend, not a forced regime of recovery that takes away what is left of his shattered autonomy. Meanwhile, as Natasha tries to track down the Winter Soldier, her discoveries get more and more disturbing. She uncovers footage of the Soldier being subjected to, and forced to commit, horrific acts to maintain Hydra's cruel hierarchy. What's more, his resemblance to Steve's dead friend is too close to be coincidence. Sam and Natasha grow determined to stop the Soldier from being recaptured by his abusers, but how will Steve react when he learns the true extent of the Soldier's torture, and the true horror of what he was twisted into? Is the Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes? Or is he a thing wearing Bucky Barnes's face? Which of those things is worse?
What it was like to write it
This fic is almost 200k words long. I wrote it in four months. Wow!
I'm convinced that writing this fic was what made all the difference for my final(ish) semester of college. To put it bluntly this was the first semester where I didn't feel like I was dying all the time. It put an end to the longest creative drought of my life and everyone's lovely comments gave me enough joy to carry me through.
I feel like I learned a ton about POV, plotting, and characterization while writing this fic. I'll probably talk about that more in the coming days.
My guiding questions/ideas
I don't really give a fuck about the MCU, but I do give a LOT of fucks about the fanfictional universe that has built around Bucky, and I had several ideas or questions that kept needling at me about this story and what people had done with it.
The whole story of Captain America, where a disabled kid in the 1930's is turned into a physically perfect superhuman, has "eugenics" written all over it. What if I explored that?
It doesn't really make sense that, in the movie Captain America: The Winter Soldier, it seems plausible to everyone that the Winter Soldier is Bucky. I mean, as far as anyone knows he died 70 years ago. What if the other characters assumed Steve was delusional out of grief?
I also really wanted to lean into Bucky/the Winter Soldier as an undead, uncanny-valley monster. A lot of Bucky fics deal with him being dehumanized and treated as a creature or a thing rather than a human, and I wanted to really dig into that, exploring the ways he is a machine and a reanimated corpse and a feral, terrified animal.
I had a craving for more medical horror. Bucky is the perfect character for it but not enough had been written about it thus far that really hit the spot for me.
I read a LOT of fanfictions that portrayed Bucky as a survivor of sexual violence and that compelled me a lot. I wanted to explore this as messily overlapping and entwined with all the other ways his body was invaded and taken away from him (as a lab experiment, living weapon, etc). I also wanted to explore what it would mean if Bucky was forced to commit sexual violence as the Winter Soldier.
What kind of story this is
The most common adjective I get on i am an exit is probably "visceral." I also get "gut-wrenching" a lot.
I do a lot of getting down and dirty with the Horrible Nasty. I went elbow deep digging in the back of my head for the things I don't want to think about.
BUT. I am also really intentional about satisfying softness and healing. The final 1/3 of the fic is the healing/comfort arc and I wrote a lot of self-indulgent fluff. Well, fluff doesn't seem right, because fluff implies something light, and every word is heavy with the horrors, but the healing is real. I was really, really serious about fully and sensitively acknowledging every part of the trauma the characters go through. Think hurt/comfort where both the hurt and the comfort are turned all the way up to the max.
I didn't feel confident writing about any of the canon locations in MCU so I basically sent all my characters to Kentucky.
Due to the person that I am, this fic is full of plants, and the plants are relevant to and intertwined with the plot and characterization. The Appalachian ecology is extremely detailed and realistic and thematically relevant.
Also, Bucky gets a horse.
The MCU doesn't have a lot of female characters, and I got mad about that, so Hawkeye, Thor, and Nick Fury are women in this fic.
I took heavy inspiration from a lot of the common themes and tropes of Bucky fanfiction. The way the narration reflects Bucky's dehumanization is indeed cool, but I can't fully take credit for it because it's a device a lot of fics use.
On content warnings
Each chapter has its own individual content warnings in the beginning notes. There is gore, there is fascism, ableism, and eugenics, there is a lot of medical horror, and there is sexual abuse and rape.
This fic does NOT use the Hydra Trash Party main tag, because the sexual violence is (mostly) "offscreen"/in flashbacks or memories instead of happening in the present in the characters' POV, but the sexual abuse themes are heavy and recurring. I think there are more individual chapters that have a warning for rape, than chapters that don't have that warning.
There is comfort and healing and ultimately a happy ending, but the warnings aren't fucking around.
Conclusion
If this sounds like your kind of thing, you should read it (even if you're completely unfamiliar with the fandom; i am told the fic works great for a fandom-blind reading). See for yourself why the Guy captured my heart and mind so.
pride month psa from a librarian!
if your local public library celebrates pride month, let them know you support that. if they've posted a picture of their display on social media, leave a like or a comment. if you see it in person, leave a comment card. if there's a program, even if you can't attend it, find some way to contact the library director to say you think it's great they're having something.
people protest pride in all kinds of ways. they don't want queer books where people can find them. community support where library leadership can see it makes all the difference. be as vocal as you can.
A lot of media these days wants to be The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and the thing is that The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny already exists and would not be improved by realistic cgi and three hours of lore and self-aware smirking.
Disney wants SO BAD to have a moment where Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all come out of nowhere lightning fast and kick Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass but they can't. They will NEVER have that moment. So instead we're just going to have Avengers Lego Pixar Princesses crossovers forever.
mathematics is a sort of goo/ooze secreted by the human mind when it rubs against the universe
guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home
via @currentlycryingaboutlancelot