This is like the only place I can probably ever say something that will take so long to reach prying eyes that I may actually have time to course correct and delete it.
I thought maybe I had a chance at ever being a good parent. Once. Over the last 6 years, Ive discovered that not only was I wrong, but I cant even be a plain parent. Im not one. Maybe the lack of medication facilitated this... maybe it made it worse... maybe watching my kid almost drown 5 feet away from me was the wake up call I needed.
Undoubtedly, I've been shit talked into the earth and back, I know it. The walls know it. The dirt knows it. Some things you dont walk back from. Ive considered suicide enough times to know the difference... but honestly? Maybe I should have.












