Sam

He/Him Hands of skin, hands of bone, and a voice like a fire

[anarqueeen]

The heros journey keeps trying to get me but ive been unloading an entire clip of 9mm into every mentor that tries to teach me anything. Ive killed 7 wizards this way.

[fjordojustice]

Refusal of the Call

[anarqueeen]

GET AWAY FROM ME

[bayesic-bitch]

Imagine if astrology was real and astrophysicists realized that instead of building telescopes, you could do observations by just handing out out a ton of surveys. First detection of gravitational waves comes decades earlier in 1997, after a study of 300,000 sagitarius women finds than they break up with their boyfriends 23 minutes earlier than the cosmic baseline would suggest.

[alanofalltrades]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

today's reason I fucking love the open source community: Ageless Linux, a brand new Debian-based operating system specifically designed to break the law by giving children access to computers that explicitly refuse to track their age.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

reblog this post to help a child break the law

[0x5742]

oh goddamn this whole page goes so hard actually, please go read it. what an impressive, visceral takedown of this dumb law

[twistedangelboness]

having friends is cool until they worry too much and get in the way of your self-destructive tendencies

[kinkyrius]

[t4tstarvingdog]

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

[kontrapoetik]

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets

[funstyle]

teenage girls in fiction: hes so cute i wanna slow dance with him at prom :3 hehe

real teenage girls: imagine if he got injured and i had to tend to his wounds and i could watch him seize up a bit as i disinfect them and in the haze of fever he sees me as an angel

[makesoneteam]

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

[pochayun]

would you like to share with the class 🤔

[makesoneteam]

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

[mercury-mage]

would you like to unshare with the class

[chadlesbianjasontodd]

you ever think about how in star wars the four heroes that overthrew the tyrannical empire and inagurated a new government are the princess of a tragically destroyed planet, a wisecracking rogue, the last heir of a religious order of wizards who do actual literal magic, and.........a city mayor

[chadlesbianjasontodd]

i should clarify that im not disparaging lando here i'm just wondering what it's like to be in a space fantasy adventure as the ONE member of your friend group who knows what a zoning law is

[ekjohnston]

You can frequently see this in Lando's face.

[charl0ttan]

dude quick turn on wikipedia. any article

[jadeharleyinc]

me watching as every wikipedia article changes from “is” to “was”

[the-punforgiven]

[pingnova]

itsashotgunbaby on x

[segamascott]

[travalicious]

[femmehysteria]

real gaming

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#what the fuck#this one was actually really very short why is it still like that what

The shorter it is, the more concentrated the what the fuck can be.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can help you with your math homework because the fantasy world's magic system was based on calculus and I was a gifted mage, stop nitpicking.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this world's magic system is also based in calculus