Sam

He/Him Hands of skin, hands of bone, and a voice like a fire

[pangur-and-grim]

all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts

[ssajin]

@pangur-and-grim ?

[pangur-and-grim]

YOU DON'T NEED TO TAG ME ON THIS, I WROTE THE POST

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[forthegothicheroine]

Prince George patronizing Jane Austen against her will should have been an episode of Blackadder III.

[forthegothicheroine]

Blackadder annoys her into writing an anarchist tract to get the money the prince was going to give her, and then her book Emma Kills the Ugly Prince becomes George’s new favorite.

[muttsandmustelidae]

“hey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worrying” “well ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD you’d see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______” YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.

[muttsandmustelidae]

“you can’t blame breeders for breeding to standard :/“ i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see

[teethwreath]

[caats]

[scarabesque-returns-deactivated]

[sabojude]

[demilypyro]

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

[slicetheviscera]

[demilypyro]

this is the only correct addition to this post

[depsidase]

[headspace-hotel]

[katacala]

Something that gave H.P. Lovecraft nightmares is the work of my favorite artist. In "At the Mountains of Madness" he specifically mentions "the strange and disturbing Asian paintings of Nicholas Roerich."

This is what Roerich's paintings look like:

[chaifootsteps]

#hp lovecraft thought penguins were grotesque and horrifying#he was not a difficult man to frighten

[mishkakagehishka]

That is not what i googled

[prospitianescapee]

I remember a dinner in New York with Peter Farrelly of the Farrelly brothers at which I told Carrie [Fisher] and Peter about a urologist who had recently died in New Jersey, leaving behind a macabre collection of arcane objects including the bloodstained shirt worn by President Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre; and, even more wondrous, the penis of Napoleon Bonaparte, with a full provenance authenticating it.

Immediately Carrie imagined a documentary. We would acquire the detached organ and bring it ceremoniously to Paris and place it with all due solemnity on Napoleon’s tomb in the Hôtel des Invalides, making the Emperor whole once more. It would be our gift to the French people in return for the Statue of Liberty. We tried to acquire the penis. We failed.

-- Salman Rushdie, "The platonic ideal", p. 100-101 British Vogue, May 2018.

[iris-googoodolls]

[trickwielder]

Trying something new.

[ashfae]

I'm reading a short story set in ancient Rome and one of the characters just said "Discord gnaw your entrails." That was an interesting mental image until my brain caught up and reminded me that no, those Romans did not have access to modern social media.

[mostlyjustgoose]

To turn off this feature in Discord, go to the Settings Menu, then select Advanced Setttings, then My Entrails, where you can adjust the Gnaw setting to your personal preference.

[helenvaughans]

[itsmistybitch-deactivated202605]

These posts are sisters

[lierdumoa]

[anarchopuppy]

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

[log6]

you think so much. You could think about a door for a hundred years and it would stay closed.

[greatergirlfriend]

never forget what's really important: approval from pervert women on the internet

[rival2lover]

let's all care. Forever

[notahorseindisguise]

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly