Janaina Medeiros
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ellievsbear
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Jules of Nature
Sweet Seals For You, Always
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
almost home
styofa doing anything
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pixel skylines
Product Placement
if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com
i don't do bad sauce passes
#extradirty
Stranger Things
seen from Guatemala
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from New Zealand
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seen from Sweden
seen from United States
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seen from Finland
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
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seen from Greece
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@sammiewritesgood
Most Beloved (non-canon) Queer Ship Tournament - Round 1
Which queer ship do you love more?
00Q (Q + James Bond) (James Bond)
Billy Loomis/Stu Macher (Scream)*
how dare you make me choose
Disclaimer: This tournament is based on submissions! Please respect all identities, characters and fandoms! Hate will get you blocked instantly!
Catch me hopping back into my 007 bullshit because when this is out I’m gonna be INSUFFERABLE
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hands-on with the first Bond game in 14 years shows how Agent 47 walked so 007 could run.
Question for fanfics readers
How long will you wait for a fanfiction update before giving up?
Less than a month
Less than 3 months
Less than 6 months
Less than a year
More than a year
Thank you so much for your vote. Visit my blog and participate in the other active polls :)
I know for a fact that at least three fics I’m subscribed to only update once a year and hundreds more that I will simply continued to reread what is there and comment in the hope that the author one day refinds what inspired them and is driven to finish the fic (or like add a chapter or two maybe please and thank you)
No one owes a reader updates. But readers are encouraged to update authors with kudos and comments on rereads.
alright everyone line up for your award
"a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend"
4x07 The Initiative
Y'all this is a piece of history right here. Every single time you see a reference to a "shovel talk" in fic, defined here as "someone threatening harm to a potential romantic partner of a friend/loved one," it's referencing this scene. This scene specifically. Everywhere else that is not fannish internet, that interaction is referred to a "shotgun talk," referencing the father threatening a daughter's boyfriend with a shotgun. This scene gave a lot of people a chance to reframe that interaction in terms of a protective friend rather than a possessive father, which for a lot of obvious reasons resonated with people a whole fucking lot, and it immediately spread like wildfire into fannish and then general internet lexicon. I've seen people try and backronym it into an extension of the shotgun talk, as in, "I've got a shotgun and a shovel to bury you with," but I've asked a lot of rednecks from a lot of different necks of the woods and no one has ever encountered that variant in brickspace life. It's all Buffy, babey. This shit is linguistic history in the making.
it is wild how much buffy the vampire slayer impacted language, fandom, and internet culture. even if you've never watched buffy, i can almost guarantee that if you're online, there's something in your vocabulary that's from buffy
Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.
You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?
You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.
You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet
Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT
Miike Snow Ghenghis Khan is the absolute vibe for this and I appreciate it’s being known cause it’s on my playlist for them
It’s me again! I have a month left of my summer holiday, before I head back to work with a full teaching load! I’m hoping to get out one more chapter these holidays; let’s see how I do :)
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Chapters: 5/21 Fandom: Empires SMP, Minecraft (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Joey Graceffa/Xornoth (Empires SMP), Scott Major | Smajor1995 & Xornoth (Empires SMP), Joey Graceffa & MythicalSausage & Xornoth (Empires SMP), Exor & Xornoth (Empires SMP), Xornoth & OC Characters: Jonny | Pixlriffs (Video Blogging RPF), Bryce | fWhip, GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF), MythicalSausage (Video Blogging RPF), Joey Graceffa, Katherine Elizabeth (Video Blogging RPF), Shelby Grace | Shubble, Xornoth (Empires SMP), Scott Major | Smajor1995, Original Empires SMP Character(s), Jimmy | Solidarity, Lizzie | LDShadowLady (Video Blogging RPF), Joel | SmallishBeans, Pearl | PearlescentMoon, Aeor (Empires SMP), Exor (Empires SMP) Additional Tags: Empires SMP Season 1, Lovers to Enemies to Lovers, Reunited?, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Characters not real people, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cod Hybrid Jimmy | Solidarity, Elves Have Wings, Elf Scott Major | Smajor1995, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Blood and Violence, Winged Scott Major | Smajor1995, Champion of Aeor Scott Major | Smajor1995, Champion of Exor Xornoth (Empires SMP), Champion Pixlriffs Summary:
The secrets of the Empires run deep within our rulers’ minds. Alliances, rivalries - these rulers know who they trust and who they despise, but what happens when new secrets come out of the shadows? What do they do when the ones they despise must now become their allies? When their allies become enemies? What will our rulers do when their world is threatened with infernal destruction, in the form of someone they used to know?
Or: Empires Season 1, but some new characters come out to play.
GOLDENEYE 1995
Incorrect MI6 quotes 98/??
If we wanted to engage in nuance (lol, lmao) on the "are audiobooks reading" debate, we really do need to bring literacy, and especially blind literacy, into the conversation.
Because, yes, listening to a story and reading a story use mostly the same parts of the brain. Yes, listening to the audiobook counts as "having read" a book. Yes, oral storytelling has a long, glorious tradition and many cultures maintained their histories through oral history or oral + art history, having never developed a true written language, and their oral stories and histories are just as valid and rich as written literature.
We still can't call listening in the absence of reading "literacy."
The term literacy needs to stay restricted to the written word, to the ability to access and engage with written texts, because we need to be able to talk about illiteracy. We need to be able to identify when a society is failing to teach children to read, and if we start saying that listening to stories is literacy, we lose the ability to describe those systemic failures.
Blind folks have been knee-deep in this debate for a long time. Schools struggle to provide resources to teach students Braille and enforcing the teaching of Braille to low-vision and blind children is a constant uphill battle. A school tried to argue that one girl didn't need to learn Braille because she could read 96-point font. Go check what that is. The new prevalence of audiobooks and TTS is a huge threat to Braille literacy because it provides institutions with another excuse to not provide Braille education or Braille texts.
That matters. Braille-literate blind and low-vision people have a 90% employment rate. For those who don't know Braille, it's 30%. Braille literacy is linked to higher academic success in all fields.
Moving outside the world of Braille, literacy of any kind matters. Being able to read text has a massive impact on a person's ability to access information, education, and employment. Being able to talk about the inability to read text matters, because that's how we're able to hold systems accountable.
So, yes, audiobooks should count as reading. But, no, they should not count as literacy.
Finally, a good fucking take.
okay i know i gave Q the biting kink/assigned biting as Q's Thing, and also that he Forbids Bond from doing it - find your own thing you big brute. slash Q has been Training Him Out of It, yes spicy cat style. but also I am just. very enamored. with the idea. of Bond giving Q love bites. like Adonis the cat. just like. Q reaches out (with his hand) and Bond chomps it. not hard! but just with definite pressure to it. ......I think it's cuz I have that thing for giving Bond a thing for Q's hands lmao, and also oral fixation/sucking. so like. chompy on fingers. and Q just standing there looking at him like seriously? also its like when a parrot nips at you. like that
PSA
EVERYONE BE CAREFUL. ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN PHISHING SITE (first link)
(the link is purple bc i clicked on it to get the link w/o special characters to report to various phising page report places).
the page leads to what appears to be the normal archive page, w/ the popup about the privacy policy & everything, with the url https://xn--iao3-lw4b.ws/media DO NOT LOG IN. THEY ARE HERE TO STEAL YOUR LOGIN CREDENTIALS. LOOK AT URLS BEFORE ENTERING ANY PERSONAL INFO.
STAY SAFE ON THE INTERNET GUYS!!
please reblog to spread this warning!!
dated 31 August 2025 so relevant and recent!
The Quick and Dirty Guide To Differentiating the James Bond Movies:
Dr. No: The one in Jamaica. If it looks old and in the Caribbean, probably this one. Also overuses the Bond theme, but that's because it was originally the theme for this movie.
From Russia With Love: Bond on the Orient Express.
Goldfinger: The stereotypical Bond. Villain loves gold. Starts in Miami, ends in Kentucky, gets there via the UK and Switzerland. Pussy Galore.
Thunderball: Caribbean again, mostly taking place on the water. The climax uses really sped-up footage of a boat. Main girl is named Domino.
You Only Live Twice: Japan.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service: Do you recognise the actor playing Bond? No? Then it's this one. Bond wears a kilt. Diana Rigg plays the love interest.
Diamonds Are Forever: Vegas. And an oil rig.
Live And Let Die: Bond does Blaxploitation. Voodoo, a Good Ol' Boy Sheriff, and a tarot-card reading fortune teller named Solitaire.
The Man With The Golden Gun: The one with Christopher Lee and his Third Nipple. If the Good Ol' Boy Sheriff is in South-East Asia, it's this one.
The Spy Who Loved Me: The villain has a submersible base. Bond's car turns into a submarine. It's mostly submarines. First appearance of Jaws, the dude with the metal teeth.
Moonraker: Bond! In! Space!
For Your Eyes Only: Mostly takes place in Greece, and a ski resort. A teenage figure-skater hits on Bond and he rejects her. I'd say this is the one with the ski chase, but there are multiple Bond movies with ski chases.
Octopussy: India and the Circus.
A View To A Kill: The one with Grace Jones and Christopher Walken. Mostly in San Francisco and Silicon Valley. Walken travels by Blimp.
The Living Daylights: Bond protects a cellist. Another ski chase using the cello as a sled. Bond goes to Afghanistan and fights alongside the Mujahideen, because it's the 80s and nobody knew this would be ironic in twenty years.
License To Kill: Bond goes rogue to fight a cartel. Notable fight scenes involving a rock crusher and a fuel tanker truck. Featuring a young Benicio Del Toro.
Goldeneye: If you remember parts from a videogame, it's this one. Sean Bean. Mostly set in Russia, ends in Cuba. Bond drives a tank through Moscow.
Tomorrow Never Dies: Mostly set in China, ends on a boat. Michelle Yeoh is the deuteragonist.
The World Is Not Enough: Boat chase in the middle of London. Mostly revolves around oil pipelines. Ends in Istanbul. Denise Richards plays a Nuclear Physicist named Christmas Jones.
Die Another Day: Bond is tortured in North Korea. Space laser. Ice Palace. Halle Berry.
Casino Royale (2006): The one that really wants to be Jason Bourne movie. Revolves around a card game.
Quantum of Solace: Are you bored shitless? Then it's this one. Bond is angry all the time. Climax takes place in a building in the desert. There's a scene at an Opera with a giant book.
Skyfall: New Q, new Moneypenny, Javier Bardem is trying to kill Judi Dench. Climax takes place in Scotland.
Spectre: Christoph Waltz, Andrew Scott, Dave Bautista, Léa Seydoux. Bond tracks down a group called Spectre. The first time Bond uses a gadget since Die Another Day.
No Time To Die: The one where Bond is retired the entire time, Lashanna Lynch plays the new 007, and they keep killing off supporting cast members. Centers on a bioweapon stolen from British Intelligence.
Bonus:
Casino Royale (1967): A comedy featuring Woody Allen.
Never Say Never Again: The one where Sean Connery is doing Thunderball again, but now 20 years older. Bond kills a villain with a rocket-firing fountain pen. Kim Bassinger, Rowan Atkinson, Max Von Sydow.
Theory
The different James bond actors are different people. But... They are all James bond.
James bond is actually a demon or spirit summoned and bound to serve the British government, his face changes because his hosts age and a new one must be found
With October and all its fanfic prompt lists just around the corner, I, as a fan of oneshots, want to beg anyone posting to AO3 to please post your works individually and not cram the whole month into one big multichapter work.
Anthologies of short fics on AO3 cause huge obnoxious hurdles for anyone wanting to find or avoid works like yours, and also muck up the numbers for anyone doing a stats dive.
Anything real that someone might try to accomplish with an anthology can be better accomplished with a series or with tags.
Teal deer: I want to read your promptober fics. Post them as fics and not as fake chapters so I can find them and read them.
--
Here's the nitty gritty.
Anthologized works cannot be filtered for word or chapter counts:
I like to read fic under 5k, so I do this:
Someone else likes longfic, so they do this:
Only people who do NOT want to see oneshots will see your oneshots.
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All tags on anthologies cannot be trusted and must be assumed to be inaccurate:
This is true of literally every tag on an anthology, including fandoms, ships, categories (m/m, f/f, etc.), and archive warnings. I want to read Cleric Beast/Hunter vivisection fic. Someone else wants to read Cleric Beast/Hunter fic and is squicked out by vivisection. Your anthology features a Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop date fic and a Sam/Dean vivisection fic, and therefore carries both tags. I find a coffee shop fic I don't care to read, and the other person never finds the Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop date fic of their dreams because they're filtering out vivisection. Mad lib that example with literally any combination of tags and it's the same. Only people who do not want to read the anthologized fics will find them. (PS the tag for Cleric Beast/Hunter doesn't exist, I should get on that)
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Anthologies throw false positives for crossovers:
According to AO3's search filter, a crossover is any work which carries tags for more than one distinct fandom. In our example above, Bloodborne and SPN fics were anthologized together. Neither fic is a crossover, but the anthology will be removed from searches that exclude crossovers, and will spam the search results of anyone looking specifically for Bloodborne or SPN crossovers.
--
The ratings on anthologies cannot be trusted:
An anthology must be labeled for the highest rated fic it contains. If you anthologize porn without plot or ultra graphic vivisection in the same work as as tooth rotting fluff, the whole thing will have to be labelled as explicit (or unrated). People looking for explicit work will find the the G rated fluff, people looking for G rated fluff will filter it out because it's erroneously labeled as explicit. Only the people who do not want to read the work will find it. Are we noticing the pattern here?
--
To break the pattern a bit:
Individually posted short works belong on the archive.
Archive of Our Own is aptly named, it's an archive. It is designed to house fanworks, all fanworks, no matter how small, and the search function is designed to make those fanworks easy to find and sort. You are not "spamming" by archiving any quantity of correctly labeled archive materials. If someone clicks on a tag and sees a front page full of your works and decides they hate you, they can just filter out your username or change the sort criteria. But chances are they'll go "sweet, twenty new works for the thing I searched for!"
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Anthologies muck up the statistics.
I do a fair bit of searching AO3 to grab numbers rather than to find fics to read. For these numbers to have any meaning, we have to assume that the fics that show up in the searches are correctly labeled.
If I run two searches like this, I can say that these characters have about the same amount of fic. But anecdotally, Elden Ring oneshots are anthologized more often than Silmarillion oneshots. Perhaps there are actually more Ranni fics on AO3 than Turin fics, and they're lumped together and hidden from the site stats while more of the Turin fics are being counted individually.
If I wanted to dig deeper and crunch some numbers, the problem would intensify. What if I wanted to scrape all the metadata and say there were so many millions of words of Ranni fic? If I wanted that to be accurate, I'd have to manually go through nearly one thousand works to exclude the "chapters" that aren't fics with Ranni in them and have been falsely included in the Ranni tag.
And all this assumes that an anthology tagged "Ranni the Witch (Elden Ring)" even has Ranni in it at all. Overtagging is always an issue, but anthologies are often tagged for future fics the author intends to write and include in the figure; not even trace of nuts tagging or tagging, but literally tagging a fic that does not exist. (I see this with highly specific kink tags on kinktober fill anthologies often enough that it's a personal pet peeve in addition to a data accuracy pet peeve).
From another angle, is the sidebar for the Elden Ring tag that reports 2200 slash fics to 760 femslash fics accurate? Is it safe to assume that slash is anthologized at the same rate as femslash in the Elden Ring fandom? I've seen anthologies with "chapter" counts in the hundreds, how different would the sidebar look if all those fics were accurately labeled?
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But Osterby, what if someone wants to subscribe to my kinktober fills but not my other work?
Put it in a series.
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What if someone doesn't want to see my coffee shop AU fic while scrolling through my profile which is primarily vivisection kink fic?
Thanks for thinking of me! I'll filter out the coffee shop AU tag, or I'll scroll through your vivisection kink series.
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How will people know what order to read my loosely connected oneshots in?
That's what a series is for.
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How will someone find all my works with the same OC/setting/kink/trope/fandom?
Series. Or tags. You can give your own OCs and AU settings their own custom tags.
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How will someone subscribe to my kinktober fills if they're not all in the same work?
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What if someone doesn't want to filter and still hates my works?
Skill issue. On their part. Don't prioritize haters over both your intended audience and over people who want to filter out 99% of your work but still want to read that one Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop fic. And also you should block haters, not try grovel to them.
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What if I want to bury a fic between other stuff and make it harder to find?
Try minimal tagging, nonspecific tags, empty or uninformative summary, and archive locking.
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If you've stuck with me this long, I've probably convinced you to at least look into the series function.
To create a new series, just make up the name for it while posting (or editing) a fic. It's a ticky box under "associations", right above the "this work has multiple chapters" ticky.
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And if you need more convincing, a series will allow your readers to leave kudos on each of your fics. Wouldn't it be nice to get 31 kudos from me instead of just one? Pretty please let me kudos each of your shorts as I read through your entire bibliography in one go.
hm... I mean yes still to the Tactical Cat Ears, but whats a pal gotta do around here to get 007 in some Tactical Cat paw Gloves?
trying to figure out how I can finesse this into 00q-verse... maybe they are. friction gloves! or gloves with friction pads on them? yes the pads have to be pink. and yes they're strategically shaped!! for strategic reasons only I prommy!! (lie)
although this would be more glove-glove and less, like. paw glove.
honestly the best reason I can think to put Bond in a paw gloves is mostly cracky lmao, it's like. he keeps scratching at a healing wound or sth and since he has opposable thumbs (unlike cats), this is the best equivalent of putting a cone on a cat.
I'm sure we can get more creative though. they're uhhh prototypes to help him... crawl through air vents better :3 He should test these out, right now, in fact. :3
anyway I DO picture him in his full fancy designer suit still lmao, and with these mitts on his hands, held up and examining them quizzically.
hey can we talk abt Tactical Cat-Paw Mitts pleas. can we talk abt this. pls
This isn’t the discussion you asked for nor is it one I wanted but… have we considered Bond keeps losing the fancy tactical “professional” gear at the most inconvenient times so Q has no choice but to give him the cute pink paw shaped tactical mitts that he had been making as a favour for another agent/coworker/friend? Like “ohhhh noooo there’s only this pair left….” 👀
(Alternatively, Q may think the pink paws are a punishment for losing equipment and “maybe you’ll find bright pink ones harder to lose.”)
(Maybe bond doesn’t lose them because he likes the change 🫣)
Oooo or Bond shows up at Qs door absolutely wrecked after a mission… possibly on drugs that make him paranoid and Q is his safe place. Except Bond keeps trying to tear open stitches (again stay on the drug induced paranoia train with me pls) and Q has to improvise to keep Bond from hurting himself further.
And Q has cats right? so maybe he bought/made some people sized paw gloves to help with bonding with a new kitten or for grooming or something (I know nothing about cat care help me).
And so he uses those as safety mits for bond and James wakes up after the drugs wore off and is like
what the fuck are these
maybe?
hm... I mean yes still to the Tactical Cat Ears, but whats a pal gotta do around here to get 007 in some Tactical Cat paw Gloves?
trying to figure out how I can finesse this into 00q-verse... maybe they are. friction gloves! or gloves with friction pads on them? yes the pads have to be pink. and yes they're strategically shaped!! for strategic reasons only I prommy!! (lie)
although this would be more glove-glove and less, like. paw glove.
honestly the best reason I can think to put Bond in a paw gloves is mostly cracky lmao, it's like. he keeps scratching at a healing wound or sth and since he has opposable thumbs (unlike cats), this is the best equivalent of putting a cone on a cat.
I'm sure we can get more creative though. they're uhhh prototypes to help him... crawl through air vents better :3 He should test these out, right now, in fact. :3
anyway I DO picture him in his full fancy designer suit still lmao, and with these mitts on his hands, held up and examining them quizzically.
hey can we talk abt Tactical Cat-Paw Mitts pleas. can we talk abt this. pls
This isn’t the discussion you asked for nor is it one I wanted but… have we considered Bond keeps losing the fancy tactical “professional” gear at the most inconvenient times so Q has no choice but to give him the cute pink paw shaped tactical mitts that he had been making as a favour for another agent/coworker/friend? Like “ohhhh noooo there’s only this pair left….” 👀
(Alternatively, Q may think the pink paws are a punishment for losing equipment and “maybe you’ll find bright pink ones harder to lose.”)
(Maybe bond doesn’t lose them because he likes the change 🫣)
