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Old friends...
SOUND. ON.
soundonsoundonsoundonsoundonsoundon!
andrew minyard never skips therapy. his best friend is a born-again knife-wielding christian ex-gangster. his other best friend is a 6'2" lacrossehockey prodigy/recovering alcoholic with a face tattoo. he doesn't smile. his situationship got him to stop doing drugs by buying him a maserati. he didn't meet his own twin brother until they were fifteen years old. he's been to jail. he is five feet even. he's the best goalie in the league and he couldn't care less. he gets in the shower fully clothed to give neil josten a blowjob. he's a chainsmoking pro athlete. he killed his own mother. he's getting a criminal justice degree as a joke. he picked the guy with a dozen fake names and a mafioso daddy to be with forever. he's a scorpio. the closest thing he's ever had to a father is his college exy coach. he loves hot chocolate and ice cream and clubbing with his cousin.
andrew minyard character of all time.
Hayden Pike on his couch in February 2017 watching the All Star Game that he wasn't even invited to only to see big bad evil Ilya fucking Rozanov kissing sweet angel baby sunshine Shane's helmet and Shane blushing and giggling and looking at Ilya with hearts dancing in his eyes.
Which he never does when Hayden bonks helmets with him!!!
The thing about Hollanov is that they are constantly having nasty mean sex and Shane is like, yeah. That’s great that’s normal. As long as they kiss Shane is like Okay :) Yay :) Thanks Rozanov, see you in a few months. Stands up straightens his clothes and walks out the door and that’s it. Somewhere behind him Ilya is staring at the ceiling. Reeling.
Then they go to that god forsaken cottage and they have the kind of face-to-face under the blankets condomless sex that even the Pope couldn’t disapprove of and Shane is crying. Gnashing his teeth. Losing his fucking mind. The emotional release is fucking agony. Ilya says you are perfect you are beautiful and you are MINE and Shane almost safewords. Ilya says I’m making love to you do you like it do you like it when I make love to you and the bedsheets are tangled around Shane’s ankles and he feels like he’s going to die. Ilya says Shane Shane Shane and to Shane it’s the most perverted thing he has ever fucking done.
Really stupid au where when they were younger, Kakashi and Obito shared an accidental kiss a lot like Sasuke and Naruto. (Kakashi commits to his mask shortly after but will never not insist it's unrelated)
Years later and Kakashi, trying to cheer up Naruto and Sasuke ab their own embaressing accidental first kiss, shares his own story
Then, years later when Obito reveals himself on the battlefield, instead of going "woah, another Uchiha!?" when he hears his name, Naruto can't help but point and shout OH MY GOD UR THE GUY WHO KISSED SENSEI!!!!!!!!
Instant dead silence. (Obito wants to die)
Sakura, who never heard the story ab how it was a one time accidental kiss: "omg... sensei's childhood boyfriend went evil on him... this is so fucked up"
Obito is VIOLENTLY thrown off by this turn of events (and also hasn't actually thought ab it in years oh my god that did happen didn't it)
Kakashi, seeing how badly it threw him off, and also the kind of person who plays hard into throwing people off and generally fucking w them to gain an edge, seeing Sakura mumbling ab lovers to enemies and just kinda goes "Yeah Obito I can't believe you'd do this to me I thought we had smthn special."
"Yeah a rivalry????"
"So I was only ever a way for u to get stronger,, figures u were using me,,,"
[Confused Obito car crash noises]
Sakura yells smthn ab him being a deadbeat and how Kakashi can do so much better and Naruto is instantly shouting in agreement as Sasuke stands there like "hn." Which is basically the same thing for him
Kakashi just starts straight up lying actually
"What about all those picnics we went on... watching the sun set over konoha..."
"Are you talking about when Minato said we weren't allowed to come back inside till we stopped arguing and ate on opposite ends of the roof bc we couldn't even look at eachother without yelling???"
"It was so romantic."
Obito, starting to actually doubt himself, "was that a date????"
(It was not.)
"You died in my arms..."
"I died under a rock"
"We literally got eye married" (not a thing, he just made this up 3 seconds ago)
"We got WHAT" (no one can prove him wrong tho bc no surviving Uchiha knows that much ab their clans marriage traditions)
"Oh my god sensei's husband is a deadbeat" - sakura, horrified (and maybe a little delighted)
"Figures." -Sasuke, who's been in proximity w Obito for some time now and absoloutley believes every word ab this topic Kakashi is saying
"Woah. This is almost as bad as the fact he murdered my parents when I was a baby dattebayo" - Naruto who's priorities are NOT what they should be
"Ok. I wouldn't go that far." - Sasuke, who's priorities are also fucked but not THAT fucked, oh my god Naruto
"No, no he's right. We should kill him even harder for this" - Sakura, who doesn't actually agree but wants an excuse for more juicy sensei love drama (and also wants to see Obito beaten to death anyways)
Kakashi knows how to woo an Uchiha man, excuse you.
[My gift for @maireyart inspired by our Correspondence AU where post-war Obito leaves Konoha to go on his repentance journey, and obkk get reacquainted through letters.]
SOCMED AU ii
100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114:Nicky 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124: gordoonpost2 125 126: andrew 127: Thea 128 129: Kevjean-ish 130: xmas 131 132: Katesethaaron 133 134: Twinyards 135 136 137 138
SOCMED AU ii
100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114:Nicky 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124: gordoonpost2 125 126: andrew 127: Thea 128 129: Kevjean-ish 130: xmas 131 132: Katesethaaron 133 134: Twinyards 135 136 137 138
SOCMED AU
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9:Trojans Q&A 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17:Q&A 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30:Q&A 31 32 33 34:Neil 35:Kevin's bday 36 37 38 39 40 41 42:Andrew 43 44 45 46 47:Rikoposting 48 49 50 A SECOND PLANE HAS HIT THE KEVIN 51:Seth 52 53 54 55 56 57:Marathon 58 59 60 61 62 63:Jean 64 65 66 67:Twinyards 68 69 70:Aaron 71 72 73 74 75 76 77:Allison 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86: Father’s Day 87 88:Kevin 89 90 91 92 93 94:Rikoposting2 95 96 97 98:Seth again 99
shane and yuuri met and became friends while yuuri was training in detroit.... victor and ilya have each others' numbers and have drunk called the other on several different occasions... this is what divine winds have told me 😌☝
Neil through Wymack’s POV must have been insane.
Listen Wymack is used to problematic kids, kids who argue and refuse to be helped and fight you every step of the way. But Neil isn’t that. As far as Wymack knows anyway.
Neil is just a kid with heavy handed parents. Neil is just a kid on his own. Neil is just a kid who flinches when Wymack calls him an idiot a bit too loudly.
But he’s the kid that says “Yes Coach” and looks like Wymack put stars on the sky just for him any time he does smth mildly kind. and Neil is the kid that got drugged and assaulted and still the next morning chose to hitchhike back from Columbia, because he didn’t wanna annoy Coach on a weekend, and doesn’t seem at all affected.
He’s troubled, sure, but not like so many of the foxes are where they fight Wymack tooth and nail constantly. Neil isnt feisty. Except he is.
Because suddenly this is the kid that speaks German and told nobody. This is only person Andrew listens to?
And suddenly he’s calling Riko Moriyama a fucking piece of shit to his face, and suddenly he’s spending two weeks in The Nest without warning anyone and he survives it, and suddenly his hair and eyes were all a lie? and now Riko marked him for the perfect court??
And somehow surviving The Ravens just makes Neil talk more shit, now publicly and repeatedly, about Riko?! and suddenly he is SO feisty he is the person Kevin looks up to?? and suddenly he gets kidnapped and oh my fucking god he’s the son of a SERIAL KILLER CALED THE BUTCHER???? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS KID
Wymack gave no fucks about Andreil happening bc he was too busy trying to understand who the fuck he recruited and how severely he underestimated Neil
shane “hey everyone, shane hollander is an asshole” hollander
Ilya: So... who broke it? I'm not mad. I just want to know. Harris: I did. I broke it. Ilya: No, no, you didn't. Hayes? Wyatt: Don't look at me! Look at Bood. Bood: What? I didn't break it. Wyatt: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Bood: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Wyatt: Suspicious. Bood: No, it’s not! Troy: Roz, if it matters - probably not - but Luca was the last one to use it. Luca: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Troy: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Luca: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles - everyone knows that, Barrett! Harris: Ok, ok! Let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Ilya. Ilya: No! Who broke it? Bood: Roz... Dykstra's been awfully quiet. Evan: REALLY?? Ilya: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
i know that in role model/the long game troy and ilya mostly bond over secretly being nicer and softer and gayer than people realise, BUT i choose to believe that one day (maybe post the stanley cup the centaurs win with the power of friendship) the team all goes out to the club and there’s throwback edm hits playing and troy and ilya’s fuckboy party personas activate like fucking sleeper agents and they have the biggest night of their lives together