Things you should Never say to Foster Children/Orphans/Children of Felons and those who have been Abused
Because apparently these things are all common things that just spout out of peoples mouths whenever you mention that you are any (or all) of these things and it just keeps getting more frustrating. So I decided to make a list for those of you who are lucky enough to never have been in these situations, but also feel the need to comment on those of us that have. No I’m not going to explain any of these comments and why they shouldn’t be said because….well…it should need to be explained!
These are my personal experiences of things that have been said to me from co workers, classmates, friends, past partners, family members, doctors and other medical personnel.
For others who have been in any of the above situations feel free to add to this list as I am sure I have forgotten many.
-You turned out really well for a child of a felon
-So where are your “real” parents
-Don’t let it get to you.
-It doesn’t seem that* bad
-Why don’t you just leave?
-Does that mean you’ll abuse your kids?
-Well ______ is older than you so they know better [Just a sidenote here that I want to make VERY clear: Age does not equal experience. Age. Does. Not. Equal. Experience. No it’s not up for debate. It is what it is get that through your head now. And one more time for the people in the back….Age. Does not. Equal. Experience.]
-Why don’t you just move on?
-What do you call your foster parents?
-Where are your siblings?
-But you look nothing like your foster parents
-So how did your parent(s) die?
-Other people have it worse
-Well they seem nice to me
-How does it feel to have no parents?
-Did you know your parents?
-So are you going to be a felon too?
-But… ______ is in your genes. [Usually in reference to some felony some parent made.]
-I’m sorry that happened but you should let it go
-Maybe you shouldn’t talk about it
-You should still respect your parents
-The Bible says…….. [If you ever say this to me I am going to tell you that the Bible says to fuck off really damn fast]
-We never get to go to your house your -insert parent here- won’t mind
-Sexual abuse isn’t really abuse that can be enjoyable [Fuck. Off.]
-So you got to travel the world growing up that must have been fun [Conveniently ignoring the fact that is was through foster homes and abusive situations that it happened]
-Learning to speak isn’t abuse! [Always hearing people. Always abled body people.]
-I’m sure they have your best interests at heart.
-I’m sure they are just blunt. Don’t take it so personally.
-It’s just their way of encouraging you.
-Why don’t you just move out?
-Why can’t you just ask your parents?
-Not all fathers/mothers/foster parents/orphanages etc. are like that
-So how come you’re not in jail then?
-What do you mean you have a curfew? You’re *insert age here*
-You can afford to be late
-I’m sure it’s not as bad as you make it seem
-Your parents have no control over your body [Hahahahahaha. You clearly know nothing.]
-Don’t you think you should tell your parents you are in the hospital/seeing a therapist/going to the clinic/quitting your job etc etc
-Are these the right emergency contacts? You don’t have any family members.
-But you’re legally an adult now
-But your parents can’t deny your hearing loss [Yes they can. And they do. And so does a large portion of society so your point is completely fucking moot.]
-Maybe they just don’t know how to handle your hearing loss. [Usually said in regards to disclosing that I would get physically abused for bad speech and trying to learn sign language.]
-But that thinking is so outdated I’m sure they don’t actually* believe that.
-Maybe you should try harder to get out of the situation
blakekathryn
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