Sarah Wanders @sarah-wanders - Tumblr Blog

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

comic-canary

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

edmundo-noches-buckley

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.

“Melissa, did you punch him?”

“Yes.” I said.

“Why?”

“Because he snapped my bra strap.”

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”

I didn’t get suspended that day.

lotrlocked

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

ive-got-a-dark-side

This is the parent I want to be omg

leesacrakon

I will be this parent.

justanotherpurplebutterfly

Great parents

randomslasher

I love stories like these because I run an advice blog and I hear about shitty parents a lot and it’s really nice to know there are ones out there doing it right.

serinos-kitt

My sister and I used to go to a day care after school and while at said daycare there was this boy who loves pulling girls off the monkey bars.

My sister, a green belt in tae kwon do at the time, went up to a councilor and asked “next time he does this can I teach him a lesson?” And the councilor, barely paying attention, said sure.

So, a couple minutes later my sister is back on the monkey bars and this guy comes over, grabs her legs, and yanks as hard as he can.

Next thing the kid knew he was screaming and crying because my sister came down punching.

My sister did not get in trouble that day. The councilor however got an hour long lecture from my mother about how my sister should have never been put in that situation to begin with and the day care should have handled the problem before making my sister have to raise a hand.

So, yes, teach your girls to fight back when they have no other choice, but also do your part as an adult to make it to where they don’t need to fight back.

panatmansam

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

The Book of Proverbs 4:23 (via panatmansam)

words-of-emotion

flyingpurplepizzaeater

You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.

voidbat

read that. read it again, and again, and again. somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot. if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.

biwomensupport

This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” - but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.

gothiccharmschool

IMPORTANT TRUTHS.

lilbittydragon-deactivated20241

As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said “But I didn’t have it as bad as some people” and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. Even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.

The ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. The ones who were brutally beaten say this. The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. What does that tell you? That one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.

Don’t buy into it, because it’s nonsense. It doesn’t matter if someone else had it “worse.” Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.

meeresfem

“one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.”

SO true.

lonniiii-deactivated20170829

One of the biggest keys to surviving your 20’s is Learning how to move on. Move on from old friends, lovers & bad situations.

Me, trying to open up to my friends: I feel sad

Them: aw :(

Me: okay I'm never doing that again

allthingseurope

Dublin, Ireland (by Tobias Abel)

cloverblob

assassinslover

quibbs

when u have strong political opinions but u also have anxiety disorder….. social justice worrier

kushandwizdom

vijara

look: the right people will get it. the right people will see you and appreciate you for the person that you are. the right people won’t require you to dilute, censor, or edit yourself in order to be worthy of their time and affection. you don’t need to waste your time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you

dxactivatxdusxr

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

fitzefitcher

#this is team skull

its-just-a-phage

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

yallmightt

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

mintycoolnessisrelevant

A good post, pure.

dragon-in-a-fez

psa to fellow college instructors: it costs exactly $0 to be understanding when students are stressed as fuck at midterm time instead of saying “lol they knew it was coming tho”

dragon-in-a-fez

I lied, this actually cost me $31 today because I bought a fuckton of coffee for all my students but you should’ve seen their faces it was like I’d given them the holy grail, the fountain of youth, and the second season of firefly all in one