TheWriteBook

Tash | She/They | two years of Official(tm) DM experience| all my players are Absolute Shitheads |

[funnytwittertweets]

[ice-knife]

[ID: a screenshot of a tweet by quiet coastline (@rainyshore) that reads: “We all have that one homie who is 4th in line to the throne but is far more interested in wine, women, and the hunt than statecraft”. /end ID]

[taugirlmara]

Honestly I'd love to invite u out with us but like..my gf passively deals aoe poison damage, and no offence but your toxin resistance is meagre and she would instantly rot you into mulch

[nynaeveswife]

Ok I do gotta respect Egwene’s hustle she was like ok hang on before I commit to being the new wisdom lemme get a taste of that dick and see what it’s all about first 🤔

[thewayoftheleaf]

adjflkasdfj you can’t leave this in the tags

[boeing747]

what if a garden gnome is just the larval stage of a wizard

[antique-scarecrow]

annoyed i had to read this, but strangely intrigued…

[grimeclown]

You guys ever think about how dnd 5e is like. “Most people consider tieflings to be unsettling and untrustworthy. Nobody likes them because they are naturally unnerving, and because of their associations with devils. People who meet them are likely to look down on them and not want to interact with them. They get an ability score increase of +2 charisma”

[mindfulwrath]

My first DM explained it like this: “charisma” is not the same thing as charm or attractiveness or even appeal.

“Charisma” is stage presence.

A character with high charisma is one you can’t ignore. They stand up and say “okay” and now everyone in the room is looking at them and paying attention. Maybe it’s because they’re the kind of person who swaggers around in high-waisted pants and a billowy white shirt. Maybe it’s because they’re eight feet tall and carrying an axe. Maybe it’s because they’re unsettling, unnerving, untrustworthy. Whatever gets your attention. Whatever stops you from looking away. Whatever it is about their bearing that makes them take up more space than they physically should.

That’s charisma.

[nerdofspades]

Absolutely this. It can also be extended further. Sure. Tieflings are distrusted. But sometimes that means you learn to *make* people like you or listen to you. You don't have the physical traits to get what you want or need and people don't particularly want to help you? Well, better hope you have a quick wit and a silver tongue or you're never going to get anything.

Tieflings have a +2 to charisma because they have stage presence. And because that is a survival trick. No one wants to listen long enough for you to get two words out? Make it impossible for them to ignore you. They don't trust you and will disregard what you do say? Honey your words and talk fast enough that they don't have time to spot the trick before they agree to what you want.

[sassybashi]

The Knight

Pattern by @sirithre on Patreon

[sangefiruze]

“we were born alone & we die alone” you delivered yourself during birth? built all the roofs that have ever given you shelter? sown the wheat in your bread?? weaved the clothes on your back??? wrote all the books youve ever read and the music youve ever listened to????? who made the literal bed youre going to die in - you, all alone?

[soracities]

CA Conrad, A Beautiful Marsupial Afternoon: New (Soma)tics

[filibusterfrog]

some fake diseases

[merismo]

Unidentified protist. Quite the hyper one. 

[halodite]

unrestrained summer fun

[dndaddyissues]

overly specific dnd memes part 2.jpg

[dndaddyissues]

[f1m2pete]

DM:Nuh-uh, you can't put extradimensional spaces in each other, they make a destructive rift in space.

Players: a destructive rift you say?

DM:Yeah, so... Wait, what are you...

Players: Ok nEw plAn:

[sapphicambitions]

‪I want my LGBT stories to have high stakes but I want those stakes to be escaping pirates and surviving a post apocalyptic world and fighting in a magic war, not like.......... homophobia ‬

[sassybashi]

“You are my CEO. There is no stronger bond.”

Firbolg Adventurezone is a capitalist confirmed.

[the-man-who-sold-za-warudo]

3 months of my life compressed into 3 minutes

[heatandapathy]

Wait

Wait

Wait

You mean to tell me you actually made the armor you shitpost in?! You actually built that?!

I see posts here and there and always thought it was a suit that it was bought.

But you actually made it?!?

[the-man-who-sold-za-warudo]

There’s no more dragons or monsters to slay so most knights have been demoted to full time shitposters

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i feel this

[alibrightshaw]

2nd level enchantment: The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or be paralyzed for the up to 1 minute. 

Enjoy for personal use only, please!

[prokopetz]

Concept: a Dungeons & Dragons campaign where the player characters are all local farmers around the same village, and each adventure revolves around dealing with some improbable threat to their crops. Any class or build is permitted, subject to the strict requirement that each player must justify their abilities as unconventional applications of their farming skills. The justification doesn’t have to be especially plausible, but it has to be played completely straight. Players are encouraged to theme their farms accordingly.

[prokopetz]

Bonus concept: similar deal, except the player characters are all the captains of small fishing vessels. The central mechanical gimmick of this campaign is that when the time comes to actually go fishing, the combat system “zooms out” so that battle-map squares occupy 50′x50′ areas rather than the customary 5′x5′, and each captain’s character sheet directly represents the capabilities of their boat – so, for example, the rogue can make Dexterity (Stealth) checks to sail stealthily, and so forth. All ranges and areas for boat-scale action and effects are likewise multiplied by ten. Players are encouraged to describe the various fanciful features and contraptions that allow their boats to perform their class features. The fish they go after are represented by reskinned level-appropriate monsters, but are ostensibly ordinary fish; the players are strictly forbidden from acknowledging that it’s in any way unusual for salmon to be seventy-five feet long and shoot lasers out of their mouths.

(The disjoint scale between personal combat and boat combat may prompt certain players to wonder what happens in rules terms if they try to fight a fish on foot. The answer is “don’t”.)

[daisyofthenight]

Is this a reinvented battleship but make it DnD?

[prokopetz]

No, it’s basically the standard low-rent approach to doing mecha fights in D&D where rather than having a separate mecha combat system you just use each pilot’s character sheet directly and scale everything up, except instead of sexually confused teenagers who hate their dads it’s crusty sea captains who only sometimes hate their dads, and instead of giant robots it’s boats.

[fluxbird-deactivated20210510]

only one character can be in each 5ft square in dnd because they’re all practicing responsible social distancing

[dailydungeondelves]

When the party is infighting - just adlib a terrible story.  Everyone will stop being mad at each other and hate YOU instead!

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