OOF @satanicmasterpiece - Tumblr Blog

Does anybody remember this “go nuts, show nuts, whatever” gem? Oh how the mighty have fallen.

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain

This feels like a jab at Tumblr for the cleanse. Show nuts all you want as long as its not hurting minors which is why Tumblr Cleansed in the first place...

When toxic friends try to reconnect like I didn’t already tell them they were toxic.

#oof #why tho

justcatposts

Little girl teaching her cats how to draw a flower

(via)

hottiewitabloggie

they’re? just? sitting there ???

ladycavalier

it makes it 100% better that i can’t understand her, i feel like i’m hearing what cats hear

socialistexan

crtter

Heh, she’s speaking Portuguese! Here’s what she’s saying:

*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”

Luis Roberto and Jurandir are people names (Jurandir is especially a name associated with older men) so it’s extra funny that the cats are named that, heh.

artemisfowls

the fist of нydra

cute-thangsss

This is a scary and beautiful handmade ring. The ring features spooky fog with three hands coming out of the earth. It’s definitely an eye catcher. Link to ring.

Dying rn

@butterynutjob

He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.

spellbound7

While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).

writing-while-female

Newsflash! Women don’t obsess about our breasts.

No really, we live with them 24/7, we can see friends, and relatives breasts pretty much on demand, hell, we just have to go to get changed at the gym to be inundated with boobs. They are really boring to us (ad while we’re on it, nowhere near as sensitive as so many men seem to think!).

The only time a woman might obsess about her breasts is when they’re painful, such as when lactating or wearing an ill-fitting bra, and neither situation is at all sexy.

Men obsess over women’s breasts. Women don’t.

mareebrittenford

I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.

addigni

“In your face all the time (in case of large boobs)”

So apparently large breasts are gravity-defying objects that rise up to our face until eye level, huh??

Any women out there willing to draw out how this guy’s version of boob reality might look like, because this is just too ridiculous 😂😂😂

totallysilvergirl

I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.

love-in-mind-palace

I..am..idk

thescienceofjohnlock

🤣😂🤣

wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20

And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.

persephone-devotee-deactivated2

writing-while-female

perfect cartoon is perfect.

prominent-nipple

scaredpotter

today my therapist told me that a panic attack consumes about the same amount of energy as running a marathon and suddenly my lack of energy doesn’t seem so strange

recoverystruggles

it’s SO important to take care of yourself after a panic attack! it drains so much energy and many people feel selfish taking time after an attack to care for themselves but it’s so important!!! drink tea and read or take a bath or just go to sleep. let your body and mind relax and recuperate.

optimysticals

Oh

lolisbian-deactivated20140831

majortvjunkie

so much drama in one photo

jujubee58

somebody hold me back

theweirdwideweb

sixpenceee

The anatomy of a pokemon.

waldothecreater

Favorite Pokemon.

theonion

MINNEAPOLIS— Perplexed by the utter absence of thronging tourists throughout places of interest, Minneapolis residents reported feelings of shock and dismay Monday upon discovering that thousands of Super Bowl attendees had simply left the Twin Cities immediately after the game without experiencing the rich culture the area has to offer. “My colleagues tell me there are no crowds whatsoever at the American Swedish Institute, local merchants say attendance is actually down at the Mall of America, and the parks department is confounded that few if any people have toured our many impressive local bodies of water,” said Minneapolis Sculpture Garden curator Lukas Svensson, who was forced to send most of his staff home Monday afternoon when droves of awestruck visitors from across the nation inexplicably failed to appear. “I personally can’t understand why no one wants to see our sculpture of a big spoon with a cherry perched jauntily on top, unless the 8-degree weather has something to do with it.” Civic leaders were reportedly not surprised whatsoever upon being told that the situation was identical in St. Paul, which they described as “a frozen, passive-aggressive suburb of Minneapolis made up of alternating churches and bars.”

dying-poet-deactivated20180914

Someone: You like Dungeons and Dragons? It seems so serious and confusing

Griffin Mcelroy’s voice in my head: WeLcoME to BiG BaSs ChALlenGe mY naMes RaSCal, aRe yoU reADy to CaTch SomE biG BasS?????

Me: haha yea

saundering-deactivated20180828

so apparently you can hide Nazis on Twitter by setting your location results to Germany or France because Twitter is legally required to remove Nazi content there, so Twitter always had the ability to remove Nazis, they just choose not to