god did not put me on this earth to be hinged

no pronouns/do not refer to me and I don't mean that as a joke

[the-sweaty-toothed-mad-woman]

today’s the only day you can reblog this

“There Will Come Soft Rains”, Ray Bradbury

[beggars-opera]

Every time I hear a reputable museum tell me that most colonial women died in fires it puts me one step closer to homicide

[beggars-opera]

To everyone saying they've never heard this before, it's so prevalent Colonial Williamsburg wrote a book about it

[beggars-opera]

HEY, WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME DEATH STATISTICS FOR THE YEAR 1783? BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN JUST LOOK THIS UP IN EASILY DIGESTIBLE REPORTS OR ANYTHING.

Town size: 7500

Deaths: 189

Childbirth deaths: 1

Burn deaths: 0

Tuberculosis deaths: 18

Measles and measles complications deaths: 32

VACCINATE YOUR DAMN CHILDREN.

[headspace-hotel]

I think the measles deaths might be doubled in that count because it listed 16 deaths of measles and then broke it down in more specifics. But the point still stands.

I'm guessing tuberculosis is "consumption" and "Pthisis pulmonalis?"

I'm curious about what some of these things even are

[say-duhnelle]

2 dead of scarlet fever. Many more doubtlessly getting Helen Kellered to some degree or another.

Scarlet fever is strep throat, an illness I had six times in one year when I was in first grade. Penicillin cleared it up every time. So many of us lucky enough to live under the protection of modern medicine have NO idea how good we have it.

[pisshandkerchief]

if you can accept that there will be trans men who look virtually indistinguishable from cis women, than you can accept that there will be trans women who look virtually indistinguishable from cis men. either by choice or by circumstance. and if you can't respect them the same as you would anybody else, you need to examine why that is

[say-duhnelle]

Bro there are cis women who look virtually indistinguishable from cis men

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[sunderwight]

"humans are space orcs" this and "humans are the jack-of-all-trades race" that and "humans are the ones with a reputation for trying to fuck everything" and etc but you know what I don't see too often?

humans are the moms

compared to other species on earth, humans have a really outsized "protect baby" instinct. you give a human a thing and tell them it's actually a baby thing and many humans will suddenly develop a complete and total aversion to harming it, even if it's like, a writhing mass of slimy tentacles in no way reminiscent of human infants

cats domesticated us by figuring out that they could leave their kittens with us when they went out hunting and come back and probably still have the same number as before they left. there is a decent chance that wolves did the same thing

word gets around the less parenting-inclined species and they're just like, are you doing a long haul space voyage? going to have to lay some eggs in the course of the trip? take a few humans with you. yeah they'll just start training the young and keeping from them climbing into the machinery themselves you don't even have to find specialists. I know a guy who budded unexpectedly on a freight hauler halfway through a four year trip, and not only did the humans not eat his spawn, they set up this thing called "babysitting" where they'd take turns monitoring its survival and helping to teach it basic skills

hazard is that if you're going anywhere with xenofauna, you have higher than normal odds of the humans trying to smuggle some weird creature aboard ship, though. you gotta watch 'em. on their own homeworld their officials have to put up goddamn signs telling them not to feed dangerous wildlife or try to touch the babies. most of 'em do understand the regulations and about potential bio hazards but there always seems to be at least one that loses their goddamn minds because some avian chick got caught in a mudslide or something

[triflesandparsnips]

Humans with anything baby-coded:

[typhoidmeri]

Humans spotting alien/creature young of any kind:

[say-duhnelle]

Earth chickens when they read this post: ❓🐔❓🐓❓🥚❓🍳❓

[animentality]

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[thyrell]

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

[thyrell]

irs.

[efoxgirl]

[partywithponies]

Fascinating how what's considered feminine and what's considered masculine can change over time. The rebranding of being a horse girl into being a stereotypical feminine girly trait needs to be studied.

[partywithponies]

Look at classic children's novels. As recently as the 50s and early 60s, being obsessed with horses as a girl was depicted as strange and tomboyish, and the very concept of being obsessed with horses from early childhood and loving toy horses and desperately wanting your own horse being a "little girl thing" and not a "little boy thing" would send someone from the 1800s and earlier into a coma.

[partywithponies]

There's maybe a point to be made here somewhere about how when keeping and riding horses stopped being necessary to the functioning of society and became a more "frivolous" thing, it was rapidly rebranded as silly and girly and for women, but what do I know.

[dizzyghoast]

i wrote a paper in my masculinity studies class in college about this exact phenomenon, specifically about how high heeled shoes started as a practical way for Persian cavalry to keep their feet on their stirrups, then likely due to that association, became a popular fashion item and status symbol among the upper classes of Europe, before the Great Male Renunciation of the 18th-19th centuries, when men started shunning opulence in favor of utility, leaving them as a fashion item for women instead.

I've joked that the two genders are Aesthetic and Utility before but thats just kinda the case

[say-duhnelle]

Weird Horse Girl was still a tomboy thing when I was a kid in the 90s! Because it's an outdoorsy pursuit and you spend a lot of time with mud and shit and flies and such! American Girl Felicity, the ultimate ADHD weird horse girl power fantasy (in that she successfully trains the horse in secret from near wild, steals it with relatively few consequences, saves it from its abuser by freeing it in the middle of the night, AND THEN GETS IT BACK TO HAVE FOREVER) was a COMPLETE tomboy whose stories talk a lot about how she doesn't enjoy "ladylike" things and isn't natural at them, and those were written in 1991! But honestly I don't know how the idea of horses being for "girly girls" could last like, two minutes in the reality of an actual barn?

[smllscallywag]

reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton

[so-much-for-subtlety]

in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold

[thickness-protection-program]

Because it was

[queer-as-city-folk]

Is the gold in the room with us right now?

[thatoneliquidbicricket]

yes. the dress is gold.

...

the dress has always been gold

r u saying this doesn't look white and gold to u???

...

[queer-as-city-folk]

what.

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again

[im-mender]

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

oh god fucking damn it

[kaban-bang]

I know tumblr likes to exclusively make it about bloody hospitals but this is what Color Theory is about

[theflowergrrl]

HOW DID THIS DISCOURSE COME BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026!???

[marzipanandminutiae]

when I tell you people were shouting up and down my dorm's hallways about this when it first happened

(the dress was by Roman Originals and it was in fact blue and black. but they made a one-off white and gold one for charity later)

[say-duhnelle]

At the time, before the additional pictures started to circulate, I maintained that it was dove grey and brown, because if you have better color vision than the average dog, you can see with your own eyes that those are the actual colors present in the photograph.

Also, there were a couple of edits of the original which emphasized the white/gold or blue/black that circulated alongside the actual original and confused people further. People saw these edits in successive tweets, sometimes even side by side, and did not realize that they were different, because they are stupid.

[calllynx]

Op turned off reblogs but I MUST

[say-duhnelle]

ED MILLIBAND possibly winning the long game was certainly not on my 2026 bingo card

[hasdrubal-gisco]

Stealing this from twitter but I liked the concept: put in the tags where were your 8 great-grandparents from (given modern borders) ?

[penandinkprincess]

Wait, does ilya like call bars/clubs to ask if they have ginger ale? Or does he ask when there without shane?

Im also imagining him with a note on his phone for "shane clubs" with notes and rating on how much shane will like them

so ilya has an internal criteria for if shane will like a club or not (is there a place to be outside of the main action? is there a place where you can stand and the music isn't so loud? are the lights predictable or do they have a lot of strobing? etc.), and if the club meets THOSE qualifications, then he will ask at the bar if they have ginger ale. if no, out of the running as a place he will take shane. if yes, success! new Shane Friendly Club.

but it's SO fucking casual, you guys. SO fucking casual. thinking about your hookup and his preferences when he's not even with you and you're actively trying to pick up someone else is SO fucking casual. don't even worry about it.

[junkdrawertales]

Ten of Ilya Rozanov’s Designated Shane Places (it’s so casual it’s literally no problem at all. It only took like three weeks of research a minute to make!)

Club with heavily upholstered booths that muffle sound. Lots of ginger ale. Menu has several variations on a Moscow Mule

Club with a big fishtank behind the bar that Shane likes to look at when he’s overstimulated. Drinks are hipstery. Shane likes the hibiscus-peppercorn Old Fashioned.

Club that has twinkly chandelier lights that aren’t too harsh or too dim. Ginger beer instead of ginger ale. Still good though.

Club that plays weird avant-garde Québécois indie rock and doesn’t allow cameras. Large selection of Canadian whiskey.

Bar with lots of darts and pool tables if Shane is feeling competitive. Aggressively hipster. They brew their own weird probiotic soda. Shane LOVES weird probiotic soda.

Bar and grill with live jazz. They have a vegan menu. Shane likes the fried jicama sticks. Organic ginger ale.

Club with gauzy curtains hanging from the ceiling that look cool AND block cameras. No ginger ale, but Shane will have a mint julep (they are excellent)

Club playing exclusively 80s hits, weird cocktails with rosemary smoke. Every hour on the hour they drop pounds and pounds of confetti from the ceiling. Drunk Shane thinks it’s pretty.

Club with a ball pit gimmick. Ilya suggested it as a joke but Shane’s eyes got huge like a cat fixating on a bug. It’s deeply overstimulating and he can tolerate it for about 90 minutes before he has to stand outside for a bit. Very strong drinks.

Club with go-go dancers who can be bribed into letting Drunk Shane have a turn dancing in the stripper cage. Drinks irrelevant. This is Ilya’s favorite.

[penandinkprincess]

i've literally been at work all day just laughing about the idea of drunk shane in a ballpit.

he's not even like. moving around in it.

he is drunk, and he is laying perfectly still as if meditating, and tbh? kind of unsettling. three different people have checked on him. ilya circles back every twenty-ish minutes to be like, "shane? you are alive still?" yep.

he's fine.

he's just ballpitting.

[say-duhnelle]

going to divert this plane a little here. what kind of bar wouldn't have ginger ale? that is such a common mixer/non-alcoholic choice that like... I've been to wedding receptions and convention dinners and such that don't have a real bar, just a very limited selection of alcohol and mixers to make very basic cocktails, and they all still had ginger ale. many actual bars I've been to don't just have ginger ale, they have it in the fountain or as a syrup to mix with soda so it will have a fresher taste. i am not a person who frequents bars or seeks out unusual or well-stocked ones; if the few bars I've been to have this it's a pretty good sign it's typical. true across multiple continents fwiw. is Canada different about this or something? can Canada Dry really claim that name if Canada is weird about ginger ale?

[lady-halibuts-chambers]

[mossworm]

the Tour de France passed by a big structure that had its name written out on the grass, so I googled it. it's a former military fort now used to store cheese.

Fort des Rousses. yes, they do tours

[say-duhnelle]

Wait is the TdF happening right now? Is that why I saw an article about how the cyclists have to just find a bush if they need to piss?

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

People will correctly identify that heteronormativity is a problem in old historiography and then immediately turn around and insist that two people must be having sex based on transgressive social intimacy. Then say something like "because sex is a human need for fulfillment."

Ah if only there was more than one kind of normativity to keep in mind....

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

This isn't exclusive to same sex attraction or love either. Anyone who digs into Empress Elisabeth's writings enough will find pretty clear statements about being apathetic (or disinclination) to physical intimacy and fulfillment from totally separate parts of her life.

We can't assume that people's highest fulfillment comes from having sex with the people they love. I wish we could have more nuance about this.

[say-duhnelle]

I feel like when we talk about historical women in particular, the discussion gets even more complicated, because women's sexual pleasure has so often been disregarded or even written off as mythical, even to this day. You probably know at least one man who thinks the female orgasm is a myth. I don't know about my own generation, but IIRC data collected on my mother's generation in the 90s indicated that about 1 in 4 had never had an orgasm. (It has been a long time since I read the book that came from, so I may be wrong about the specifics, but it was something equally shocking.) Repression of homosexuality and comphet also plays a role - there have been a lot of stories of women who never really found pleasure with their husbands, but then discovered they were actually lesbians and had a much happier sex life partnered with someone they were actually attracted to.

So like... was Empress Sisi asexual? Or had she just never been with a guy who knew jack shit about pleasuring a woman? Or was she someone who would have preferred women if the possibility had even crossed her mind? Or some combination of the above, asexuality is a spectrum and bi people exist. Who the fuck knows? We can't ask her, she's dead, so speculation is all we've got. IMO the issue lies more with people who are entirely unwilling to speculate, even when the historical figure has those bodies of writing which make it clear somethin' ain't typical