ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie
nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

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@sayatumbles
ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie
nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person
And stay safe everyone!
Happy Pride Month to all of my fellow aces!! 🖤🩶🤍💜
rainy day 🌦️
Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!
celestia is such a funny character like she's constantly manipulating twilight and friends to do shit instead of just asking and you could arguably frame that as being bc she's a "god" and pushing fate to her design or whatever, except that she engages with the group like a normal and relatable person, which makes it more like villainous machinations, except 90% of this manipulation goes towards things like "I don't want my party to be boring shit again. put my little country girl blorbos in there with zero prep so they fuck it up bad"
you think you've fucked anything up around princess celestia and she's like heh. no worries. all according to keikaku
Celestia instantly makes more sense as a character when you ignore the princess stuff and remember that she's a 1000+ years old wizard. Of course she does manipulative trickster stuff to teach moral lessons and/or cause chaos to amuse herself, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course sometimes she's actually socially awkward and bad at personal relationships and has bad ideas that she thought were good that result in her eating shit embarrassing style, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course she lets the aristocrats and nobles run around being assholes she's still running on wizard advisor programming, she's basically trying to merlin the entire upper class of equestria instead of just a king and some knights. "Yeah uuhhh we'll release the incarnation of chaos himself from his ancient prison because we think this shy girl can be friends with him", terrible plan if you're thinking like a ruler, amazing plan if you're thinking like a wizard. Just look at Canterlot 'Castle' for five seconds and ask yourself if that's in any way a castle. No. Wizard tower, yes. Wizard.
You are so right actually
Danny: Mom! Dad! W-what are you doing here?
Maddie: Your father and I knew that you were disappointed to miss out on the family reunion because of your husband's surgery, so we decided to skip it this year and come give you some support in caring for him!
Jack: As well as giving you a break. You must be under so much stress taking care of him and the kids!
Danny, having been lying about his marriage for the past two years to get out of family obligations: Wow... that's so sweet of you.
Maddie: I'm so excited to meet everyone! When you said you were moving to a new Earth, I knew communication through the Ghost Zone was going to be rough, but only being able to connect audio calls once every four months was much harder to endure than I thought it would be.
Jack: Not to mention traveling here. We had to do so many pit stops to fix up the Spectator Speeder and let me tell you, some of those floating rocks were hard to land on. Sometimes makes me wish we had your ghosts powers.
Danny: Yeah....you both went through so much effort. To vist me. In a different dimension.
Maddie: We three! Jazz is here too.
Danny: *gulps* The whole family is here.
Jack: Oh, don't make that face. The Fenton Reunion happens every four years. We'll see your aunts, uncles, and cousins next time. You're much more important to us, so no need for guilt.
Danny: I- right. Of course. Um, have you guys eaten? I can treat us to some dinner before we go back to my place. My, um, husband is at a doctor's appointment with my eldest while I did some work. I'm going on emergency family leave but I had to fill out the paperwork at the office today. Yup yup, thats why I'm here. At my workplace.
Maddie: You alright sweetie? You're sweating a lot.
Danny: I'm fine!
Jack: You work here? This office building is so nice. What does Wayne Enterprise do? I know you have a management position but I never really understood what department exactly.
Danny, who works in the mail room: Um, Wayne Enterprise does a little of everything. I'm in... communications.
Jack: But what exactly does communications do-
Danny: Excuse me for a bit. I have to let my husband know I'm going to be a little late.
Maddie: Oh! Don't tell the kids we're here. We want it to be a suprise. We brought gifts for all of them! Jazz is actually wrapping them up in the Speeder now!
Danny: Ha ha ha ha of course! Excuse me! *walking away pretending to be tapping a contact on his phone* shit shit shit. What do I do???
Damian appearing from the shadows: You told falsehoods.
Danny: Agh!
Damian: ....
Danny: Mr. Wayne Al Ghul! I-ugh- hello! I mean, good afternoon, sir. I ugh-
Damian: Silence
Danny: Yes sir.
Damian: I heard everything, and while I normally find lies distasteful, I find your parents endearing. It could benefit my family. I shall give you aid in your facade.
Danny: What?
Damain: My father recently had surgery on his right hip- a accident on our extreme skiing trip- and refuses to listen to our family doctor. He will not get the proper bed rest he's been ordered, but he would if you acted like his very upset husband with visting in-laws.
Danny: I- Mr. Wayne would never agree to that.
Damian: You seem to believe Father has a choice.
Danny: I-
Damian: I messaged Richard about the plan. He's gathering my siblings' support as we speak. When you arrive after dinner with your family, Father will have no time to deny anything. We shall trap him in social expectations. By the way, you are Timothy's safe queer adult who was there for him in the early years of his self-discovery journey and now he wants to help you. Its how we guilt trip father.
Danny: I can't lie to Bruce Wayne like that!
Damian: It's too late. Timothy already made a shirt of your face with the words "My Gay Yoda" on it. Your path has been chosen.
Danny: What-
Jack: Danny? Who's this?
Damian holding out his arms for a hug: Grandfather, I am Damian, Father's and Dad's youngest.
Jack: Damian! Its so nice to met you. Call me Gran-papa! *crushes him in a bear hug*
Damian in the most monotone voice ever: Gran-papa, I can not feel my arms.
Maddie: Aren't you just the cutest! Danny used to say the same thing at your age whenever his dad hugged him. I'm your Gran-mama, by the way! JAZZ COME MEET THE BABY!
Danny in a horrified whisper: Did my boss trap me in my own web of lies?
TOMORROW IS PRIDE MONTHHHH!!! these are my pridekus from 2025!
👻👻👻
happy pride month!! some aro ace Phantumps to celebrate!
Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum
This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.
unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
She reacts to the fledgling like I react to seeing a spider in my house.
I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory
I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know
I'm a Rando in a Medieval Fantasy World And It Turns Out I Can't Invent Anything Because I Don't Know Much About Science
I'm a Scientist in Another World but the Laws of Physics Work Differently Here and this Crazy Universe Doesn't Even Run on Math
I Tried to Become a Fantasy World Cook but People Who Have Eaten Bland Food Their Entire Lives Can't Tolerate Spice
I Slayed the Demon King but it was a Ceremonial Role with No Political Power
I Isekaied to Another World and the Locals Had No Resistance to My Diseases. The Demon King Died of the Common Cold but So Did Everyone Else.
DpxDc Idea
Danny moves to Gotham and buys an apartment building.
It was more just a fun project for him to fix up the building, seeing as how after he took over VladCo, and cleaning up operations, Danny was making more money than ever, even after donating to various charities. So yeah, he was bored and just wanted to get his hands dirty and personally repair the appartments.
Once everything was fixed up, he opened the appartments for rent. He didn't really want to charge people, especially in such an area as Crime Alley, but not charging someone rent is way more sketchy than just asking them to pay whatever they could or wanted to. He ended up just setting the money aside to use on the appartments should it need any upgrades or repairs. He doesn't only take money either, while he denies "physical" payments and/or narcotics, he'll take lessons, like the man in 2B teaching him to sew, or the woman in 5A teaching him how to cook, or the two kids who give him very interesting shiny rocks as payment, there was even a few people who paid by cleaning the appartment building's shared places. One teenager paid rent one month by giving Danny a pair of sickly black and white kittens they found outside(they're named Casper, and Specter, and they're the Building's Managers in Pest Apprehension, and Danny loves them).
Because the appartments are so close to where the working girls/boys run, they make up most of his tenants, so Danny asks them to not bring clients back to the apartments, its dangerous to let their clients know where they live, especially because there are other tenants, including children, in the building so its a safety risk. They all agree, they don't really want their clients knowing where they live anyway.
Some do get stalkers though, and Danny is quick to get rid of them. Or when burglars manage to break in, Danny stops them before they can take anything, and if he managed to miss the burglar, he'll personally replace whatever was stolen until they could get the original stuff back. (Maybe he should adopt a gaurd dog, at least for the intimidation factor. Cane Corso's are medium sized*, hes sure he could get away with getting something like that. Something to think about later.)
A lot of his tenants say Danny is really kind, but thats not how Danny sees it, and its something he loudly denies. He's a bored rich person who was taking advantage of his wealth. Him providing them a safe place to live, and a little bit of comfort isn't kindness, its basic human decency. He's not some saint who is doing this of his own kind heart, he's a normal guy who was bored and just decided to do something helpful opposed to harmful, and he shouldn't be praised for that.