#i've never heard the phrase sexual labor used in this context before #and i'm not sure what it means
responding to these tags (tone: sincere explanation)--
at the most basic, I'm using sexual labor to mean sexual acts performed in exchange for something else.
obviously sexual labor is at its most visible forms in the sex trades where sex is exchanged for money, valuables, resources, etc. in a way that is explicit and negotiated between both parties (often, but not inherently/necessarily, with the person providing sexual labor at a considerable economic and/or social disadvantage to the person buying this service.)
I also think that sexual labor is very commonly attached--historically and today--to marriage contracts, particularly when you look at religious practices that view penile–vaginal penetration as the "consummation" of the marriage, coupled with legislation where a legal marriage can be annulled for failure to "consummate." In this case, this specific sexual act is part of the exchange for the "security" of being legally attached to a man as a husband.
on a more common, less explicit level, many men expect sexual acts in exchange for paying for the expenses (dinner, movie, etc.) while dating women, and may become resentful or even violent if they do not receive some form of physical contact after spending what they consider a large sum of money.
so with that context, when I say that men are expecting rewards of sexual labor in exchange for saying/doing "feminist" things, what I'm discussing are things like this:
[ID: TIME article titled "More Sex--and 7 Other Benefits for Men Who Share in the Housework"]
You can see this sentiment repeated constantly. The last time I posted about this topic, my post was shared to reddit, and one of the men there commented this:
[ID: cropped screenshot reading "Fucking women cannot be the be-all-end-all of your every interaction, but having sex is a pretty strong motivator, especially the amount and quality of sex. For example, in a relationship, man taking more active role in housework leading to better relationship and better sex is a strong motivator, and no less pure of motivation than 'intrinsic theory framework of doing feminist praxis without any personal gain or good mood'"]
Basically this kind of "feminist" man consistently reframes feminist demands to dismantle the patriarchal sexgender hierarchy as instead a series of disconnected favors men could do for women, in exchange for sexual labor ("more sex"; "better sex") or whatever other forms of feminized labor they want from women in their lives.
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