schmooblog

schmoo, she/her

[dogpuppy]

[roycohn]

happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!

[importantandunavoidable]

is the willem dafoe fish sexy

yes, he is sexy

he is kind of sexy for a fish

no, he is not sexy

Voting ended onDec 30, 2024

[importantandunavoidable]

is willem dafoe "fish sexy?"

yes, he is fish sexy

he is fish sexy for a human

no, he is not fish sexy

Voting ended onDec 31, 2024

[feyd-meowtha]

[whatcha-thinkin]

The bar is closing and you and your drunk friends are hungry! In your opinion what's the best drunk food?

tacos

pancakes

hot dogs

chicken wings

burgers

pizza

nachos

Philly cheesesteak

ramen

peanut butter & jelly

dude see if there's a [tag] nearby

I would never bring this garbage into the temple that is my body

Remaining time: 4 days 10 hours

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[bwaah]

beautiful combination of skedaddling and schmovement

[charl0ttan]

there is something so very sensual about jellyfish

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[tlirsgender]

As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"

[sadclowncentral]

so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.

it makes you a fruit.

[sumverendus]

[sandpancakecat]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

my oldest cat is too self conscious to play toys but sometimes he'll post up next to one in a way that's very deliberate and possessive and he'll mournfully contemplate it for a while

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

he cringes when I blow catnip bubbles for the other cats but one time I caught him batting at the leather fringe on my thrifted motorcycle jacket and I don't think he's ever recovered from the embarrassment

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

it's this one btw

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

contemplating his banana

[dogpuppy]

[taoofbill]

Florida Manatees at the Crystal River National Wildlife Refuge Park

[suiheisen]

i watch baseball for the side quests

[dappergamelord]

throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout

[stuckinnet]

this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl

[warriornunnery]

baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.

and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:

or the beloved hot foot prank:

or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:

or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:

[yokowan]

i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post

[randomthunk]

Sometimes you have to entertain yourself out in the field too, like the time Victor Robles made friends with a praying mantis.

[warriornunnery]

and some college baseball shenanigans

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice