This is ME

Stuff in English and German.

[glowwormcentral-deactivated2021]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

[hellenhighwater]

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

[toontwink]

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh hello you’ve returned to us

[hellenhighwater]

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

[legitimatesatanspawn]

I had to do it. (I know it’d fit Franz better but still.)

[machy-march]

"mother loved you best, huh?"

I'm experimenting with a new drawing process🌷

[argillaforma]

au where shane doesn’t like casual hookups because he knows he needs a lot of aftercare and he doesn’t think he can ask a stranger to do that because he might be Too Much™️ but rose forces him to go out with her and he meets ilya at a bar and they end up going back to shane’s place to have sex and afterwards ilya can tell there’s something that’s bothering shane and ilya is afraid that he hurt him or that shane regrets it but shane ends up telling ilya that it’s because his brain does this annoying thing after sex sometimes and the only thing that really helps is being physically close to someone like lay on top of me and crush me close and he’s like thanks for having sex with me i understand if you have to go and ilya’s heart breaks a little for this guy he just met with these beautiful bambi eyes so he’s like lay down i will lay on top of you and crush you for as long as you want

[co2bender]

[jewelcoatfish]

hollanov is batshit crazy about each other and the centaurs are mildly concerned about it but they seem well-adjusted regardless and it helps them win games so whatever. they do have a bit of an existential crisis about it though. like are they supposed to be that obsessed with their partner too? to which their partner say if they were that clingy the partner would be very scared.

[thoughtsickles]

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

[disgruntled-lifeform]

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

[leiyahime]

"Indigo dyeing silk thread"

In case anyone wonders what the Japanese is saying

[torkmatic]

I just learned about this recently from a Viking reenactor! Indigo dye isn't blue until it oxidizes, so when you dye with indigo your cloth or thread doesn't come out of the water blue, it comes out and then reacts with the oxygen in the air and seems to spontaneously turn blue in front of your eyes. It's a really cool process to witness.

[warcrimesimulator]

[psychotic-gerard]

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

[roguebombshell]

I remember when I was about 12, I watched a show on TLC that followed people as they got somewhat uncommon medical procedures.

There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it's stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a "man nipple" (can be shown) and a "woman nipple" (no no must obscure, 'tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that's the moment when it becomes a woman's nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it's the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

"Free the Nipple" was calling out arbitrary bullshit like that, because someone just existing with their body parts should not be considered obscene, and the double standard that men can be topless but women can't is so blatantly ridiculous. All nipples are just nipples. If you get turned on or bothered by them, that's on you.

[brainscrewz]

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

[limpwristedrose]

Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.

And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.

You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho

If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.

and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it

[lavaunders]

dunkaerionlings height difference!

full chart below the cut :)!

(i'm sorry if the quality got lowered T__T)

Some extra lore + details about each of them!!

Despite being the favorite, Maegor tends to dress simpler than what Aerion wants him to be. When Aerion told Maegor that he planned to marry him to Alysanne, Maegor ran away and eloped. Maegor is often described as a gentle giant but his weapon makes it difficult to not be a brutal force in the battlefield. He prays after every tournament and battle.

Rhaenyra is proud of her name and is probably the most educated about their heritage amongst her siblings. Rhaenyra fought with Daemon when she tried convincing the latter that Dunk was their father. Daemon was just in denial.

Daemon is the only one who kept his long hair into adulthood. This is because he loves showing it off to people who belittle him with his status as a previous “bastard” and because he idolized Dunk before he even knew that he was his father and chose to keep it long to be reminded of him. Dunk caught Daemon when he was four with his hand bloodied after trying to cut his own hair. This was after the births of Aemond and Aegon. Dunk talked to the boy for hours before finally convincing him to not dwell too much on how he looks compared to his siblings. 

Alysanne is the shortest due to her being weaker than the rest of her siblings. She almost shot her betrothed in the eye when they met for the first time. It was somehow really effective since he was immediately smitten!

Aemond grows to be charismatic and probably one of the most liked dunkaerionlings. This is after Daemon starts teaching him. He enjoys being on the battlefield more than being a political diplomat as it gives him an excuse to let out his depravity. When Aemond goes too far, it is Aegon that scolds him or calls him out. Aemond apologizes afterwards, the sincerity depends on the situation.

Aegon has more scars and tends to get injured more than his older twin. His personal coat of arms is also just Aemond’s design but the Targaryen dragons are looking at the other side (basically just inverted, similar to Daeron’s ). Close with Visenya (‼️NOT LIKE THAT‼️) He’s mad all the time because he hates how the court treats his siblings and he’s expected to perform his duties as if he didnt hear someone wish one death upon them.

Visenya was given a shield with her own personal coat of arms by her brother Aegon as a surprise. However, she can’t use it in actual battle since she isn’t really a real knight (but she has her own armor, shield, and armor!). One of the times she sneaked into a tournament, she got caught (by Rhaenyra) just right before the final battles. She never tries to win the following tournaments she sneaks into and joins them under different aliases. 

Aerion got mad at Maekar for not being a knight. People often get surprised that he didn’t become one when they meet him for the first time due to his height. 

Balerys MADE SURE she got a good marriage to a Lord that has a lot of gold/inheritance.

Dyanna follows the Faith very closely but also prioritizes her family. She enjoyed her time as a septa despite the fact that people often looked at her due to her features.

Meleys was the septas’ worst nightmare as a child. She often missed her lessons until Dunk required it or else she’s going to be banned from watching her older siblings train AND lose her instruments. 

Merax becomes a respected strategist due to his intelligence but he’s still the weakest knight among his siblings. Rhaelon can even beat him. 

Rhaelon is shorter than his siblings because he’s closer to hell

Aerlan had a crazy growth-spurt and it's one of the reasons why Rhaelon is envious of him. He looks and acts scary since he just sneaks up to people instead of approaching them normally and has a monotone voice but he’s just a sweetheart.

Every dunkaerionling looks up to Maegor (even Rhaelon!), especially Rhaenyra as he’s the only one she believes she can rely on.

[anya-hollander-rozanova]

Ok but Cliff Marlow somehow managing to get into Ilya's phone after the Tunameltdown in the middle of the Hollandry crashout, and getting Montreal Jane's number.

The entire Boston roster piling behind Marly as he types, trying to decide what to say that could save them because their captain has been possessed by the spirit or a soviet military trainer with knife shoes and if they are forced to make double bagskates again they will either puke or die or both.

So Shane Hollander wakes up one day to a message from an unknown number like "Hello Miss Jane ma'am this is Clifford Marlow I don't know if you have heard of me I am sorry to be a bother I'm just wondering if you could give my good friend Ilya another chance, I promise that whatever he did he won't do again, we will help we will teach him to cook and clean and do laundry and he will cook you the best sandwiches ever if you only give him a chance only if you want of course if it's not too much of a bother Miss Jane please and thank you" and he goes through the seven stages of grief in like 4 seconds before it's even 7am. They manage to add the link to a very big spa gift card that they all chipped in to buy because at that point they're desperate.

[tendie-defender]

We should bring back forest green.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

[kropotkindersurprise]

my friend competed in a Survivor knock-off reality tv contest on a tropical island, and he did exactly this. While everyone was scheming and forming cliques and voting strategically to get rid of the others, he just floated in the sea for weeks.

Weeks into the show they had to like, reintroduce him in the editing because he had just been absent from the show till then; "remember this guy? he's also still here". They started with 60 people or something, and he made it to the final 6, where he lost a balancing game.

It was very funny to watch the crappy show just to see my friend, because most episodes he just didnt feature at all. He didn't stress about winning the big prize or anything, he just treated it as a vacation where he got to chill out for two months and get paid for it. A real icon.

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[brokentoasterrr]

i hate that you’re so right re: the orthorexic tendencies (and everything else. shane is buying slow feeder bowls and treat puzzles and feeding anya dog friendly soup once a week)

[vulcartist]

I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate

[tournevis-real]

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen