The Stovetop

Just seething and sputtering under the steam wand of life. Recently made a tumbler and unblocked my posting gland. the third eye is shut, the second mouth is OPEN. Prepare for some of the dumbest shit you've ever read. "So I have to bear this cross forever." -Smart_Calendar1874

[scoldedmilk]

[wholesome-animal-images]

[romanceyourdemons]

whimper & moan. attorneys at law

[thescholars]

ive had the image of this meme in my head for so long

[thehereticpharaoh]

This is what hieroglyphs and figures in ancient Egyptian temples looked like before their colors faded. They were recreated using a polychromatic light display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, following thorough research.

[elliespectacular]

scrub your audio and pay attention there are hidden Yurfs everywhere for those with the ears to listen

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[iron-fifty-nine]

No they literally actually did wtf

[elliespectacular]

Well over a week into my last warehouse job the kindly middle-aged woman training me on the powered industrial equipment says out of nowhere "Come, let me show you our robot."

And sure enough, there's a robot.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[crtter]

This pizza was made over here in Brazil and I’m happy to inform everyone that the method they used to get the toppings over the whole dough evenly is just slightly less funny than what the last poster in the thread suggested:

They hovered a guy over it using a crane and maneuvered him around by pushing him with a pole.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

It's just weird living in a world that was at one point fully on-board with rehabilitating George W Bush, a man who famously invaded a country and started a war over absolutely nothing and resulted in instability in Iraq that still exists to this day, and yet we are going to marches called "No Kings?". girl where have you been?

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

America was so susceptible to fascist capture because we brazenly let presidents perform actual war crimes and didn't hold them accountable for it. Bush is a felon, Obama is a felon, they just will never be tried for their crimes. Almost every President commits harm and wrongdoing on a level so absolutely absurd that it dwarfs whatever they've done before.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Also just to be clear, "fascist capture" is a phrase that's loaded with connotations and it's not even one I subscribe to (I think America has been in a state of proto-fascism for at least four decades) but it's like. I'm so sick of the way people act like this isn't America. "There's a felon in the White House" girl there is ALWAYS a felon in the White House. A very, very bright and glaring spotlight is being shined on a fundamental truth because they've finally gotten confident enough to not feel ashamed and you are turning away from it to bury your head in the sand!!!

[musicforyourplants]

[boy-matt-deactivated20181204]

*slams reblog*

[ariesaav]

Klezmer dolphins.

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I don’t know that I’ve reblogged anything faster in my entire tumblr life.  

[onceuponamirror]

honestly they’re better than the band that played at my bat mitzvah

[fractalindigo]

I like dolphins.

I love klezmer.

But as a former band kid, this made me die laughing.

[awwww-cute]

Went to a pet store today and saw this GIANT rabbit

[sweet-bitsy]

So you decided to throw money at it like a stripper

[isntnothing]

I’m in love with this stupid shirt

[boccher]

why does the US have a theme park ride thats just presidential speeches. who would want to visit that. that sounds like something yeonmi park would make up about north korea

[dogpuppy]

[janmisali]

pick whatever option the person you're following who reblogged this post didn't pick. if they didn't say in the tags what they picked or if you're seeing the original post and not a reblog, pick at random instead.

first option

second option

Remaining time: 2 days 6 hours