SCREWBALL.

all the ways i let you down, down.

[saltwaters]

there's no response at first, just another blank-faced, wide-eyed, unfeeling look [...] no, they are most definitely not going to be friends. "nevermind that. can i have your shells, please?" see, how polite she's being – she even used the word please.

[screwdball]

no hard feelings!  he’ll slide right over that subject with her.  (nuttin’ serious ‘bout that proposition anyway.)  too stuck on that please,  cody aims with a squint.  she really wants these dang shells.   “how good can y’draw a hotdog?  talkin’ accurate bun-to-weenie ratio here.  and y’better not be puttin’ no relish.”   (hey now,  this is serious.)

[screwdball]

   “you know what they say, that old cliché  ..  let's just be friends.”

[prettytragcdies]

🌻 (Alexandra!)

new ask game, send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the hell i want

"The next time I take a trip out to New York to procure a painting for The Colby Collection, I'm bringing you with me as my personal guest. I don't want to hear any complaining, either. One way or another, I'm going to teach you a thing or two about art, and then we'll be spending our nights out on the town. Don't worry about your wardrobe. We can always buy you a new one once we get there. Oh, and let me guess. You've never ridden on a private plane before, have you? Yeah, I didn't think so."

[screwdball]

“y’talk a lot.”   pot? meet ‘em kettle chips.  she’s just sayin’ a whole lotta nuttin’,  if y’axin’ him.  (nobody is.  certainly not her.  he’s a quick learner,  ‘specially when they look like the alluring alexandra dexter right here.)   “lexi lou,  there ain’t no lion,  witch,  or wardrobe that’ll get me up there.”   he gestures to the city?  plane?  who blows!

[screwdball]

hitting the never in my 69 years…

[jo-constantine]

[screwdball]

y’slurpin’ up dem curls?

naw peepaw

gimme a straw

woody 🪵

Voting ended onJul 1, 2025

[screwdball]

[screwdball]

you’re trying to enjoy a smoke break but this guy’s got one ‘em candy cigs stuck to that fat lip while he’s doing pull ups,  all talk about how he can do this cuz he ain’t smoking them thangs.

[screwdball]

hey

[screwdball]

coco’s always gunna indulge in some bread. and now I kinda need someone dragging him to the kitchen and teachin’m some recipe.

[screwdball]

           HONESTLY,   I  WOULDN'T  PUT  MY  MONEY  ON  ME.

[likesouvenirs]

@screwdball squints at the menu.   “say again,  melanie,  how much dollars is the burnt coffee?”

mel stared at him, arms crossed at the chest, debating if she could burn a hole in his head. “shit outta luck, dude,” fingers swiped the menu from cody’s hands. he didn’t need it–ordering the same fuckin’ thing every time.

“dunkin sells burnt coffee, go there and get out of my shop.”

[screwdball]

shootin’ to kill,  huh?  teeth sink into that shit-eatin’ grin quick,  wounded by ‘em words.  DUNKIN AIN’T NUTTIN’ BUT SOME YANKEE SLUDGE.  he swallows the insult without another taste.

   “naw ma’am,  s’not where that bathroom door keeps gettin’ stuck.”   he’s become a regular,  —  in spite of such warm customer service.  of course he’s gunna pay the tip and attention.   and he’s gotten restless sitting by and watching everybody struggle with that damn door.   “Y’CAN’T SHOOT ME DOWN TODAY,  KNOW THAT MUCH.”

the rising toolbox in his grip comes into view as if to prove his case.  ‘course he knows her rights,  but he ain’t giving her an inch.  cody’s feet don’t waste another second to get movin’.  throwing ‘em words over his shoulder,   “s’only worth one non-burnt black coffee.”

[screwdball]

something something he hasn’t had a proper bed since he was staying under his grandma’s roof.  knocks out on hard surfaces  ( like counter [bar] tops and desks ),  in vehicles and boats,  that damn hammock.  when he does manage to catch some ZZZs on somebody’s mattress,  it takes him a second too long to get up and running.

[screwdball]

            LIAR,  LIAR !      THEM JEANS SURE ARE ON FIRE.

[mcflymemes]

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

this is what happens when you get involved in things you don't understand!

why couldn't you just stay out of it?

now i'm the one who has to clean up your mess.

you messed up. now it's time to own it.

you ruined everything.

i'll never forgive you.

i fucked this up. i know that.

you can't just explain this one away!

it's over! it's done!

you're a fuck-up.

i thought i told you to stay out of the way.

i'm really disappointed in how you've acted.

you can do better than that.

everything is ruined, and it's all your fault.

i know i messed up, but i can explain.

i thought i could help.

that wasn't supposed to happen.

how could you?

what have you done!?

you were never supposed to be here!

i thought we agreed you'd stay out of it and let me handle everything?

now i have to start everything over again.

this took me weeks. you understand that, right?

you ruin everything you touch.

can't you just be normal for five minutes?

i knew it was you.

you just couldn't leave well enough alone.

i told you to stay inside!

i blame you for this.

i'm sorry i ruined this for you.

you weren't ready for this.

i'm not speaking to you yet.

you have the worst timing.

i'm so angry at you right now.

i break everything i touch.

stop fucking things up for us.

i was just trying to help.

i won't bother you again.

there's no fixing this.

it's due tomorrow. i have no time to redo it.

can you just let me handle things?

so much for keeping this a surprise.

now what am i gonna do?

good job, [name]. you ruined it.

i'll never forgive you for ruining this for me.

i didn't mean to mess this up.

this should have been your big day, and here i am, ruining everything.

i'm backing away.

just... just go.

don't speak. just leave.

we'll speak about this later.

don't explain yourself.

i could scream.

i need to be left alone.

you fucked this up.

i think i deserve an apology.

you've put me through hell.

[saltwaters]

@screwdball : WE'VE BEEN BREATHING THE SAME AIR FOR TOO LONG.

IT FEELS LIKE SHE'S BEING PUNISHED AGAIN. typical, as it happens, alice is never short of pissing off some higher power – nevermind that she doesn't believe in any of it to begin with. god, or whatever you want to call it, has been taking notes, apparently. the message has been laid out clear. climb too high, fall down harder and faster (and faster and faster) every fucking time. she thinks cody's general existence and proximity to her might be another one of these punishments. at the very least, he's a test. see if she'll slip this time, succumb to a deep-seated murderous urge that's likely been brewing since the beginning of time. with any luck, she won't have to.

"well, maybe you should stop breathing." the look on her face is deceptively docile, but her voice gives it all away. cold and flat, devoid of sentimentality. "if you pass out in the next five minutes, i'll give you a dollar."

[screwdball]

KNOW WHAT,  ‘LICE?  he sure could use that dollar.  anybody livin’ off vending machine meals as much as’im oughta be happy taking her deal.  but that familiar humming ain’t in earshot,  no automatic voice to thank him for his purchase.  just wood,  wood,  and this silly goose.  a duck of his head,  only to bite down harder on that grin.

   “NO SHAKE!”   yet that big head gets to bobbing.   “y’aint baking my dead body in that there witchy oven.”   cody jerks his finger in the kitchen’s direction,  ignoring the dead lady’s ghost scratchin’ all up his back.  but then ‘em eyes shoot back on alice,  squint in place.

“BUT Y’EATING ME RAW,  HUH?”

[woodspile]

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