good lord a tumbler

just vibin no cap (HE/THEY PRONOUNS) 28, Autistic/ND, bi, otter

[sea-otter148]

Just a lil sign on my blog

[mamawasatesttube]

what if they had tumblr in metropolis, pt. 2 (pt. 1)

💢 meopolitanmeow Follow

not to post obscure journalist rpf on main but do you ever think like... clark kent sure does do a lot of exclusive interviews with superman for a married man... like... im not gonna accuse him of cheating bc hes obviously smart and WHAT kind of idiot would cheat on LOIS LANE but like... LIKE...........

like does she like to watch, or........?????????????????????

🧮 abacussingyouout Follow

OBVIOUSLY she likes to watch. cmon bro you KNOW my main man supes would NEVER homewreck hes too good for that.

💢 meopolitanmeow Follow

that's a great point. hell, maybe they're having threesomes but trying to keep it on the down low so superman's enemies don't target clark and lois all the time. though everyone does know they're pals...

🫦sexy-daniella6 Follow

You like 😘 to see pretty 💋 girls 🫦 for free? DM me 👄 I am soooo bored 💦! Will be waiting! 😳

💢 meopolitanmeow Follow

daniela we're trying to discuss rpf can you lock the fuck in

🧮 abacussingyouout Follow

maybe daniela likes to watch too?

863 notes

🐰 bnuuy42069 Follow

ok this is gonna sound fake but i swear to god its not. i was just weeding the community garden on my buildings rooftop and supernova was flying a lil bit above and idk what the context was but i swear im not shitting you i SWEAR i heard him call someone a faggot????

🏎️ mycarrunsongrapezesti Follow

He was probably just using telescopic vision to look in a mirror.

🐰 bnuuy42069 Follow

ok true case closed. sorry for trying to cancel you on tumblr mr superfaggot 🫡

1,209 notes

🎪 carnivalofibuprofen Follow

Miles Duncan set to star in new big screen adaptation of The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrún, a two-part Viking tragedy based upon the poetry of J. R. R. Tolkien. More details to follow!

🛠️ natashaironssteel Follow

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OGM OMG OMG OGMOGMOGMGMOGMOGMOGOMGOMGOMGG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG NEW MILES DUNCAN MOVIE NEW MILES MOVIE OMG OMG OMG IM GONNA CRY

🛠️ natashaironssteel Follow

so this may have been the wrong blog,

❄️ wynteryweath3r Follow

wait this just blew my mind. do celebrities also get celebrity crushes?

🛠️ natashaironssteel Follow

in my defense i am a lesbian, it is not a crush!!! hes just a really good actor lmaooo ive been following his career for YEARS like since back when he was on masterpiece mystery LOL

😹 punderstanding Follow

would you say that makes you... a superfan?

🛠️ natashaironssteel Follow

BOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO

14,185 notes

🎨 pullthepalettepiglet Follow

this time im rly gonna do it

🎨 pullthepalettepiglet Follow

y'all

🎨 pullthepalettepiglet Follow

you ever fumble a woman who's so out of your league it isnt even funny and then as she's leaving she says something she really thinks is nice and helpful and your entire life crumbles into fuckign dust around you

🎭 dramaturgological Follow

bestie what happened?????????

🎨 pullthepalettepiglet Follow

i feel like i have to put it in greentext format i dont know i dont even fcukign know man

> be me > working on a painting sitting on my tiny-ass balcony > wind gusts suddenly > drop paintbrush > fuck! > suddenly supergirl is there?!?!?!?!?!??! > she's holding my paintbrush?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? > she says sorry bc the wind was from her flying by > MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE > HOLY FUCK > IVE NEVER WANTED TO PAINT SOMEONE SO BADLY > trying to figure out what to say > "thanks" > nailed it. > shes about to leave again > grasping for straws for anything to say to prolong the convo > "hey you're an adult now, right? why superGIRL still?" > she laughs and says she hasn't thought of anything better yet > "superwoman is so long and clunky! i mean, i might go with it, but..." > don't be stupid don't be stupid don't be stupid > still really would love her to be a model for a painting > don't be stupid don't be stupid don't be > "what about superMODEL?" > she looks. so unimpressed > shes gentle like shes speaking to a total idiot now > "that's... the same number of syllables as superwoman." > fuck my stupid baka life > im gonna jump off my stupid balcony > why did i say that > not even remotely what i wanted to say > FUCK my STUPID BAKA LIFE > she smiles and turns to leave again > im defeated i cant ask her to stay > and then she stops and turns around again > hope? > "by the way, your reds weren't fully dry yet!" > ? > look at my canvas > id literally put down two strokes on top of the red section > thought it was dry enough > guess she can see otherwise with her microscopic vision or w/e > FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE > SHE LEAVES > THIS TIME IM REALLY GONNA DO IT MAN

🤦‍♀️ jolioliejoliest Follow

🎨 pullthepalettepiglet Follow

I KNOW I KNOW YOU DONT HAVE TO RUB IT IN AAAAAAAAAA

3,108 notes

🍂 bisexualblustering Follow

when i die, i want lex luthor to lower me into my grave, so that he can let me down one last time.

🍂 bisexualblustering Follow

OKAY WHO SHOWED THIS POST TO LOIS LANE?????????!??

31,593 notes

💙 bigbluebazongas Follow

does anyone else find it kind of ominous that superman like. DOES have a tumblr (supposedly). hes got the @/superman url. it SAYS its him. but its totally blank. does he use tumblr. does he lurk. does he see all our embarrassing superboob thirst posts

💙 bigbluebazongas Follow

15,296 notes

🐕 kryptoposting-collection Follow

Supernova posted a new Krypto on their Dogstagram account today! (Post credit)

🐺 wendystalkersource Follow

whats wrong with him

🎑 moonriseoverthesea Follow

nothing he's perfect. what's wrong with YOU for slandering him???

🐺 wendystalkersource Follow

i just know that dog produces absolutely nuclear farts after chowing down on weird shit like metal. metal from gotham (derogatory) of all places, too. i just know he produces nuclear farts and then acts like it's someone else's fault and leaves the room so you have to marinate in it but he's gone to go contaminate the rest of the house. like obviously ive never met him and can't back this up but i just get that vibe

⛅ cloudywithachanceofboobs Follow

weirdly specific but alright!

936 notes

🪗 farmtoturntable Follow

its soooo funny when ppl from gotham act like theyre the most miserable and oppressed folks on the whole planet bc of a couple of random mobsters w cheesy gimmicks. like girl im from metropolis our mobsters have weapons from freaking APOKOLIPS 😭😭😭

🔲 gothicgothamite3-deactiva

This is really insensitive. People from Gotham have been murdered in the streets by these "random mobsters with cheesy gimmicks" as you put it. Between the violence and the fear, I genuinely believe Gothamites are the most traumatized populace in the country.

🏖️ memoirsfromcoastcity Follow

hi.

🪗 farmtoturntable Follow

lakjdlfakjsdlkaja;; oh my god you fucking killed them

🏖️ memoirsfromcoastcity Follow

j... just like... 😔😔😔😔😔

8,392 notes

🍬 girlysweetiething Follow

Hot take on this website, but I honestly don't think all the hype about Superman and all those other aliens on Earth is a good thing. It's like a pro-alien propaganda machine. First we get all cozy and welcoming to the refugees, and then the next thing we know there's another Kandor situation where they try to take over Earth and subjugate and kill humans. Sure, Superman is nice, but we should stop woobifying and infantilizing aliens and remember that they are real and present dangers, kind of like wild animals.

👽 iwishiwasamartian Follow

...where do we even START.

🏡 housewithamouse Follow

#op works at lexcorp btw

fork found in kitchen

293 notes

🧜‍♀️ mermaidwhocantswim Follow

this is kind of something youd expect to see on one of those r/showerthoughts posts but i keep wondering like... if kryptonite is a rock, can you grind it up salt-style and eat it?? what would happen... would it taste weird or bad or not like anything at all. can you do this with other rocks (i mean i guess you could do it w granite or something too but that doesnt glow so its not as fun to think about).......?????

🏋️‍♂️ humonouhguhoughs Follow

DON'T

16,429 notes

[ end of post for real ]

[sea-otter148]

Part 2 (GEM ALERT!!!!)

[mamawasatesttube]

what if they had tumblr in metropolis

0 notes

🧑‍🏫 lunchboxcaptain92 Follow

trying to explain to my sister that while lexcorp has a p solid benefits package theyre still an extremely unethical monopoly run by an evil billionaire and she shouldnt sell her soul for a good salary. sigh

🪽 angeliccompatriot Follow

its pretty shitty of you to try to persuade your sister not to take a living wage in one of the most expensive cities in the world just bc you dont like lex luthor lmao. some of us have real problems like needing to make rent or do groceries

🧑‍🏫 lunchboxcaptain92 Follow

i am literally a high school teacher. do you think i dont know what struggling financially is like? sorry for having a spine and also not wanting my sister to become part of the evil capitalist machine thats PART of why we are all poor. why does lex luthor need that much money while we're all struggling with rent and groceries?

🪽 angeliccompatriot Follow

idk how youre saying that when lexcorp jobs offer some of the best salaries and benefits of any employer in metropolis

🧑‍🏫 lunchboxcaptain92 Follow

YEAH GIRL LEXCORP IS TRYING TO BE A MONOPOLY AND OUTCOMPETE OR BUY OUT EVERY SMALL BUSINESS IN METROPOLIS. THATS A BAD THING. I DONT WANT MY SISTER TO BECOME PART OF THAT WHOLE THING. YOU CAN STOP DEEPTHROATING LUTHORS BOOTS AT ANY POINT BTW

🪽 angeliccompatriot Follow

stop yelling at me. i hope your sister takes the job. is she single?

🌟 haiku-bot-official Follow

stop yelling at me. i hope your sister takes the job. is she single?

Beep-boop! I look for haikus. Sometimes I make mistakes!

🧑‍🏫 lunchboxcaptain92 Follow

what the fuck

9,483 notes

🦠 kryptococcus Follow

avenue of tomorrow more like avenue of TO MORE HOES!!! what a rousing toast, am i right ladies???

7,194 notes

🌎 thedailyplanet Follow

Break-In At Metropolitan Museum Of Natural History: What was stolen? How did the thieves get in? And ...

THE DAILY PLANET's Clark Kent takes an in-depth look at the failures of the supposedly "state-of-the-art" LexCorp security system donated to the museum only six months ago.

🐷 urbanfarmingdaydream Follow

Among the stolen artifacts includes a fragment of meteorite recovered from the Clearwater East crater, dating back to the Permian era. [...] Some theorize the meteorite has special or even mystical properties, although stories differ as to what exactly those properties might be.

ok so what im hearing is that the countdown to the next freakazoid trying to rob a bank in a spacesuit starts now. great.

🏀 apollosdodgeball Follow

you almost had it! they tried to rob a jewelry store instead. don't you love living in the city of tomorrow?

🐷 urbanfarmingdaydream Follow

maybe i should just move to star city

14,295 notes

🖼️ artschooldr0p0ut Follow

GUYS IM GONNA SHIT YM PANTS I JUST MET SUPERGIRL???!?!?!??

🖼️ artschooldr0p0ut Follow

it was actually very embarrassing for me but thats ok ill take the L

🖼️ artschooldr0p0ut Follow

OK NOW THAT IM. CALMER. AND CAN BREATHE. HERE. so what happened was that i fucked up making dinner so bad the fire alarm for my whole apartment building went off and she came by to make sure therew asnt actulaly like. a fire

and then i explained what happened (picture this. im standing outside and freezing my ass off bc i just got out of the shower and my hairs still wet and its evening. in my fuckass bathrobe and crocs) and im holding my cat in her backpack carrier bc its not like im gonna LEAVE HER inside while the alarms are blaring. and supergirl started laughign at me but then she asked if she could pet my cat and brooooooooo ive never seen lucy purr at a stranger lik ethat i think im in love. im in LOVE. and not to be a lesbian but li ke have you SEEN her biceps holy shit

🙆‍♀️ tracey-suggestive9 Follow

Hey 😜 I'm so bored 💋😘 Want to have a ✨Good time🥵? Click link in my profile 💞 I'm waiting 💋 for You! 💦

🖼️ artschooldr0p0ut Follow

tracey you could never be her

92,941 notes

🥗 saladbarsloppystyle Follow

just watched supernova let krypto take a piss directly onto the lexcorp tower from like 20 feet above lex luthors office. sometimes there are benefits to being a waiter at a rooftop restaurant for rich fucks actually. we have decided to stan for life

🥗 saladbarsloppystyle Follow

can yall STOP discoursing in my notes abt how superdog piss raining down onto the street is anti-homeless and not praxis??? LEXCORP GUARDS DONT LET ANY HOMELESS PPL SLEEP NEAR THE BUILDING how abt you discourse about THAT INSTEAD holy shit. if anyone got yellow rain it was just rich people. i cant stand this site sometimes istg

3,518 notes

♦️ 2975839823988593 Follow

realized i actually do need to call my psychiatrist today bc i actually caught myself thinking abt moving to gotham

🚁 carpetedkitchenator Follow

That's so scary, OP, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I hope you can get the help you need. :(

1,621 notes

🦸‍♀️ titansrpf5eva Follow

thinking about superrobin today... supernova being annoying and red robin being tsundere about it, hehe... that whole "ugh supernova fuck off, im trying to do work" "aww but i want a kiss, cant you give me a kiss???" dynamic is soooo tasty. red robins been sighted in metropolis lately so you KNOW whats up (he's being annoyed within an inch of his life by a punk himbo who he hates but can't help but love...!) #supernova #redrobin #superrobin #titansrpf

🏎️ mycarrunsongrapezesti Follow

That isn't even remotely close to how Red Robin talks to or thinks about Supernova. Have you ever seen, like, a single one of their interactions, literally ever?

🦸‍♀️ titansrpf5eva Follow

literally who asked you lmao. its my fanfiction. i can do what i want. its not like you have sources or anything to back up your interpretations anyways??? lol

🏎️ mycarrunsongrapezesti Follow

You wanted sources? Sure.

This post ended up being over 2000 words (that's the problem with citing sources going back approximately eight years, I guess!) so I'll put the majority of it under a readmore.

Let's start during the Young Justice era, when they were known as Superboy and Robin. Admittedly, you have to do some digging to find interview materials from this time that actually include Robin, because his time in the public eye only truly began after he and the others transitioned to being part of the Titans, but we can start with this part of the Young Justice TV show, clipped below.

Read more...

🫶 writingpositivityandnegativity Follow

holy shit dude came with the RECEIPTS. i respect that, but i have one question - at the end, you state that supernova is red robin's favorite person in the world. this might be kind of nitpicky of me, because i agree it's clearly obvious that red robin adores supernova, but isn't saying he's his favorite kind of a stretch? or at least, like, do you have a source to back that up?

🏎️ mycarrunsongrapezesti Follow

I thought that was fairly obvious. Does it actually need a source?

🫶 writingpositivityandnegativity Follow

i mean... yeah, that's what i was asking for, but if you don't have one that's fine! just a matter of opinion then, haha.

🏎️ mycarrunsongrapezesti Follow

I see.

🫶 writingpositivityandnegativity Follow

?

7,130 notes

🤖 tmbdperihelionfan1 Follow

was anyone gonna tell me that steel actually says "it's hammer time!" in battle while he's clobbering people with his hammer or was i just supposed to find out about that while hiding behind a desk when intergang showed up at my job

🛠️ natashaironssteel Follow

yea, he does that. its even more embarrassing when youre related to him, trust me.

🤖 tmbdperihelionfan1 Follow

WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME THAT STEEL 2 IS ON TUMBLR WITH THE REST OF US OR

20,184 notes

🔮 gayasfork Follow

so... superman's tits, huh. superman's big ol' hairy, fat, beautiful man milkers, huh. superman's juicy, gorgeous, suckable tits. reblog if you agree

🌸 lillianthevillianness Follow

@superman

🔮 gayasfork Follow

lillian do you want me to kill myself. be honest

19,583 notes

🦹 herowatch Follow

Today on Hero Chirper: Superman's official Chirper shared a post saying "Supernova is my favorite person ever" from an as-yet unverified Red Robin account with only two posts. Most are assuming this account isn't real, but Superman sharing the post is cute anyway. We love a guy who loves his family!

🫐 blubbublulblublblubery Follow

he's literally niceys

🦹 herowatch Follow

He's literally niceys!

1,105 notes

🏡 someguywithablog42 Follow

krypto the superdog appreciation post. thats a good dog! woo hoo! get a load of that dog!

🏡 someguywithablog42 Follow

shoutout to the hardcore wendy the werewolf stalker fanblog that reblogged this post 57 times within a span of 3 minutes. you good fam???? @wendystalkersource

🐺 wendystalkersource Follow

ppupy dogy,

30,492 notes

🏋️‍♂️ humonouhguhoughs Follow

found this tiny ass shard of kryptonite on the ground after supes beat metallos ass and idk what to do with it bc its like. thats bad for supes right??? this is dangerous??? and i dont wanna keep it bc i dont wanna become villain bait like. uhhhh how do i like. destroy it or something???

🏋️‍♂️ humonouhguhoughs Follow

should i just. like. eat it????? let my stomach acid take care of it??? maybe thatd work. maybe i should just eat it.

🏋️‍♂️ humonouhguhoughs Follow

hopital

52,916 notes

[ END OF POST FOR REAL ]

[sea-otter148]

I came looking for copper and I found gold

[sea-otter148]

I've heard great things about One Hundred Years of Solitude (the book, I mean) and I have put together a list of things that one might enjoy if they liked One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez.

Holes by Louis Sachar. The book and the 2003 movie center around three storylines in particular: Stanley Yelnats being sentenced to dig holes at Camp Green Lake, his great-great-grandfather Ilya stealing a pig in Latvia and being subject to a curse of bad luck, and the romance between the bandit Kissin' Kate Barlow and Black onion salesman Sam, and the tragedy that dries up Camp Green Lake.

Ficciones by Jorge Luís Borges. Jorge Luís Borges: Borges helped to pioneer magical realism in literature, and it has several elements of it in this anthology of short stories, from a man who can remember literally everything to the point that it paralyzes him, to an infinite library containing everything that could possibly be written, to a secret society inventing a fake planet so thoroughly it becomes real.

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. A young man runs away from home to escape a dark prophecy, an old man can talk to cats, and their paths cross in a surreal, dreamlike Japan where fish rain from the sky and a giant worm wreaks havoc on the country.

Big Fish (2003) by Tim Burton. A story about catfish, true love, werewolves and a fortune teller that tells you the exact day you will die, it is a perfect representation of the American tradition of the tall tale.

The History of the Seattle Mariners (2020) by Jon Bois and Alex Rubenstein. No, seriously. It's a documentary that covers the strange and interesting history of the Seattle Mariners, beginning with arson, and featuring toilet Jell-O, a stadium becoming a biohazard, another stadium whose sky falls on someone, political strong-arming, a missing person, vomiting baseball players, and the best batters in history.

99 Stories of God and Concerning the Future of Souls by Joy Williams. 99 super-short stories in each book, the first being about God, and the second being about the relationship between Azrael the angel of death and Satan, interspersed with some strange stories around the world, aphorisms and meditations on life, death and divinity.

Beloved by Toni Morrison. A ghost story about slavery that ends up being more tragic than scary.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. The Devil comes to Moscow for a magic show, along with his four henchmen, one of which is a giant talking cat. Also featured are the stories of Jesus Christ getting sentenced by Pontius Pilate, the mayhem the Devil causes in Moscow, and a woman named Margarita who must rescue her true love, an author named The Master.

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie. Children who were born at the exact moment of Indian independence have superpowers, and the government has gotten word of it.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel. This and the 2012 film which was based on it covers the story of a man named Pi stranded at sea with a tiger named Richard Parker, and the odd path to get there and out of there.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The original short story and the 2007 film based on it covers the life of a man who ages backwards, and we see the course of history play out through his eyes. In the story, it's from the advent of the Civil War to the 1920s, but in the film it's from the end of World War 1 to Hurricane Katrina. The film is the one I recommend the most.

Magnolia (1999) by Paul Thomas Anderson. Nine Angelenos go about their complicated lives just before a rain of frogs hits the city, creating a meditation on fate and coincidence.

Honorable mentions go to Pan's Labyrinth (2006), Birdman (2014), Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall Past Lives (2010), Angels in America by Tony Kushner, The Winter's Tale by William Shakespeare, Watchmen by Alan Moore, the Bible (particularly the history sections), Turning Red (2022), Superman (2025), Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022), any of Nikolai Gogol's stories but especially The Portrait and The Nose, Sorry to Bother You (2018), I Love Boosters (2026), Swiss Army Man (2017), Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022), Les Mamelles de Tirésias by Francis Poulenc, and The Rake's Progress by Igor Stravinsky.

[thekimspoblog]

Phantom of the Opera: Don't kill people. It will only make the object of your affection hate you.

Little Shop of Horrors: Don't kill people. You will immediately get in over your head.

Sweeney Todd: Don't kill people. Revenge will blind you to what's really important.

Heathers: Don't kill people. Nobody is all good or all bad, and you rob them of the chance to change.

American Psycho: Don't kill people. In a world this brutal, not even violence will make you special.

Assassins: Bro go ahead and kill people. It might be cool. Everyone pretending to care is either a pussy or lying.

[sea-otter148]

Diabolical adaptation idea I just had:

Taming of the Shrew but as one of those Hallmark "country boy meets city girl and teaches her simple living" movies. Leans heavily into the "psychological horror disguised as a romcom" aspect of the play that's often performed by having things just be ever so slightly...off about the small town in, like, New England she's moved to.

This is what I had in mind for the plot:

Kate is a no-nonsense, hardworking office worker at a financial company in Manhattan. She has a comfy apartment, but that somehow isn't enough for her. Not to mention that she's in a rocky relationship with her city boyfriend Derek. Then her family, who lives in a quaint town in the Berkshires (or maybe the Quiet Corner of Connecticut) invite her over for a visit. If it's on Christmas, it's the annual lighting of the Christmas tree and the Christmas pageant. If it's going to be anything else, it's the harvest festival. Soon she packs her bags and travels to the quaint New England town of Seven Pines, a charming, rustic little town with a little secret (imagine Bedford Falls meets Summerisle). There, while trying to settle into life in a small town, she has a little meet-cute with Peter (our Petruchio), seemingly a kind, gentle man who teaches her the way of life around here, sharing folksy aphorisms from his family, and teaching her how to whittle wooden sculptures. But, over time, he starts to control her in many subtle, insidious ways. There's always some kind of delay or obstacle when she wants to get back to her apartment: bad weather, staying a bit too long for lunch, even her car breaks down but the local mechanic isn't there to help. Outside help is limited, since cell service is spotty around here, and Peter's one of those "live in the moment" guys. Peter starts gaslighting Kate, whittling her into the perfect woman-shaped trophy for him to have. Soon, the big event happens, the mayor gives a little speech about the spirit of the town or whatever holiday it celebrates, everyone celebrates with a big dance at the pavilion.

Eventually, of course, Kate agrees to settle with Peter, she breaks it off with Derek, and they get married. At their wedding party, Kate gives a speech about a wife's submission to her husband, and how the simpler ways of living are best, calling for a return to the olden days.

All of this, in keeping with the original spirit of the Shakespeare play, turns out to be a movie a young present-day couple decides to watch out of boredom in a hotel room, after a long day of unpacking luggage, much like Christopher Sly's play which turns out to be Taming of the Shrew. Once the movie-within-the-movie ends, the couple are just as baffled and deflated as we are after seeing our female protagonist get gaslit into submission to her quite obviously sleazy country lover. I imagine the man of the couple just goes "What the hell was that?"

It's all shot like an ordinary romcom with warm tones, expansive scenes of the town and nature, we linger on Kate and Peter a little too long for comfort, but there's something ever so slightly off about it. Think, for example, a French movie from 1989 called Baxter, which uses all these warm tones and pleasant scenery, but it's very curated, very sterile.

[sea-otter148]

I just know these guys would say "eat the rich" and mean it literally

[sea-otter148]

ConformityGate is just the Johnlock conspiracy theory again. ConformityGate is just the Destiel cut again.

[kosmicpowers]

They Might Be Giants song title: I've never seen a pencil before

Tally Hall song title: memories of non existent days

Lemon Demon song title: I know where Mr Krabs hid the bodies

Will Wood song title: Spumpy Klumpy and the mysterious meatball house//Saturday night evil clown orgy

[sea-otter148]

TW: Scopophobia//

So I literally found this out a while back and I am just living rn

So there's this visual novel I discovered called Tiny Bunny, and it's really good, very atmospheric and intense with good characters, visuals, and music. But anyway, I watched some playthroughs of the game as it is so far, and I think this girl, Alisa, is probably my favorite character in any game tbh???

Like, she's got this positive energy about her that makes you feel good, she's got humor, she's got immaculate camp energy, she's constantly serving lewks, she is overall just the most "hang-out-able" character ever lol

She's also very ✨quirky✨ and mildly sus, not gonna spoil anything cause I want y'all to check this out yourselves. All in all, I want someone like her in my life lmao

[sea-otter148]

EPISODE 5 UPDATE, SPOILERS UNDER CUT

I came back after Episode 5 came out and I'm very sad that she didn't get more screen time with the 20 different endings, but at least one of the two endings she has in this one is the best one, and it's Love Recipe by a country mile.

Though it's basically all but confirmed that Alisa is Polina (they even have the same line, "You're safe as long as you're with me"), Alisa is the one who wins the contest between the two, because this eldritch cannibal fox (the least dangerous option, mind you!) you meet, whomst you have been with for basically the whole game up until this point, has fulfilled her promise to protect you, and so what happens is, after Tikhonov and Karina, both of whom were the bunny and wolf in their previous incarnations (apparently this is due to some alien space parasite but I like to imagine it's more supernatural than that, like some arcane force controlling them), rebel against the Forest Master and get his ass, Anton puts on the bunny mask and capitulates, which of course leads to both him and Alisa, free from a master controlling them, to vow never to harm innocents after they scare off some kids in the woods. This means that the killer, a guy with a cleft lip whom Anton's dad, the bookkeeper, was sweet-talked into being released from jail after Tikhonov arrested him, gets eviscerated alive by Anton and Alisa, who show their true nightmarish forms.

Cut to the beginning of spring, and Alisa and Anton both shed their humanoid forms in favor of being animals until winter comes again, when they can be their former selves. They curl up in a thicket on some almost-melted snow, roll credits, and there's an epilogue where Olya, now grown, talks about her family's viral status on TikTok (which I think is kinda eh but it fits). This couldn't have possibly been a better ending, and even the devs agree, it seems.

Incidentally, this is also when I had my Danny DeVito "oh my God, I get it" moment when it came to therians, so make of that what you will. I'm not a therian but my God I envy the man. This man got the girl at the cost of his humanity, but let's be real, what better price to pay is there than that?

Also there's another ending called Apocalypse Now where you and the rest of the beasts cause the end of the world and the universe, which is insane but in that very campy B-movie way I adore. Wild, but so much it's actually kinda enjoyable

Anyway we love to see a diva make a comeback

[wootwona]

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!

[sea-otter148]

A prose poem I made:

Eulogy for a Thylacine (In Memoriam My Grandfather)

Within the island of Tasmania, it dominated the forest. Existing since millions of years ago, it was first recorded on rock art dating back to at least 1000 BC. The indigenous people of Tasmania recorded its existence for generations, but when European explorers arrived, it was extinct in the mainland. Scores might have been killed, the rest exiled to Tasmania since at least 1642, when European explorers such as the Dutch Abel Tasman (from whom Tasmania gets its name) might have noticed its existence.

The first definitive thylacine encounter was in 1792, when French explorers and naturalists recorded the fact that it did indeed exist. In 1805, a description by William Paterson, Tasmania's lieutenant governor, was sent to the Sydney Gazette (by this time, Tasmania was, like the rest of Australia, under English control as a penal colony).

George Harris, the deputy surveyor-general of Tasmania, gave the thylacine's first detailed scientific description, and initially placed it in the genus Didelphis, the genus conceived by Carl Linnaeus for American opossums, and christened it "Didelphis cynocephala," the dog-headed opossum. It wasn't until 1824 that it had spun off into its own genus: Thylacinus, and it was therefore rechristened "Thylacinus cynocephalus," the dog-headed pouched thing.

The thylacine, or Tasmanian tiger as it was more commonly known, had a sharp, narrow face, with black stripes along its back, a long and sturdy build, and covered in rusty orange fur. It could open its jaw to an absurd degree, up to 80 degrees, in fact, to consume its prey faster and fit more of it into itself. It dominated Tasmania with its barks and growls, signals to others of its kind to begin the hunt. In art, the Tasmanian tiger was very commonly seen in scientific illustrations of it, as well as the Tasmanian coat of arms, where it is immortalized, as well as in photographs once those were widespread.

Throughout the 19th and early 20th centuries, Tasmanian tigers were hunted for supposed attacks on sheep and other livestock. The bounty put out by the Van Diemens Company certainly contributed to its dying out in Tasmania, and an animal that probably numbered in the millions on a small island suddenly became very rarely seen by 1921. While it was killed in the wild, several species lived on in captivity, until the death of the last one.

Benjamin (which was not his name), the last living thylacine, was born at some unknown date, as he is mostly remembered for being the last of his kind. He was first caught by Elias Hobart in a snare trap before being sold off to the zoo, where he would live in a little enclosure off of scraps of meat and water, much like most of the animals in the zoo. On the night of September 7, 1936, the last living thylacine on Earth, whose name may or may not have been Benjamin, simply lay down, closed his eyes, and died. He is remembered in film footage and photographs as a relic of his time.

I wonder if when the news broke out on September 8th, 1936, some scientist gave a tearful speech the same way my father did when his father passed. He too only exists in photographs and the painting we have of him in our house, after all, and the things he has left behind. All of them will fade too, in the end.

[sea-otter148]

Dessriel but as Orpheus and Eurydice...

[sea-otter148]

"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they'd have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They'd get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I'd be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody'd think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they'd leave me alone."

— Holden Caulfield, The Catcher In The Rye (and apparently, some Tumblr users)

[sea-otter148]

Recently I had this idea for a kind of ship called an Abilene ship, in which it's a ship everyone wants, but no one would be happy with. It comes from the Abilene paradox, in which collectively, people do something no individual person wants to do.

The ship in question is with The Fun Gang plus Noelle and Berdly, and it's basically a utilitarian solution to the love interest problem that would theoretically satisfy everyone, but that would mean Rouxls Kaard was actually right and everyone would kinda hate it. The Fun Gang are a polycule, with Susie also dating Noelle, and Berdly is the fifth Beatle of the group. To wit:

Kris, Susie, and Ralsei kinda do wanna be a thing (especially Ralsei), but that would mean one of the most annoying guys on Earth (after Berdly) would actually be right, which is a very troubling thing to happen; Noelle would be conflicted between Kris and Susie (not that Kris would approve because the SOUL just really wants to have it both ways), and everyone would object to Berdly's presence as a romantic figure, insisting on a purely platonic affair (despite what he might think, and the SOUL thinking it would just be really funny to make Kris and Berdly kiss).

[sea-otter148]

Skit ideas with this ship:

Berdly says some cringe pickup line to Kris, and leans in for a kiss, and the SOUL forces them to kiss, but instead Kris slaps Berdly on the cheek.

Kris, Susie and Ralsei have a very sentimental moment together where Ralsei is just working overtime to keep the gang together, and everyone confesses their feelings until Rouxls Kaard bursts in and he's like "A-HA! SO THOUST ARTETH A THINGE AFTER ALLE!" and Susie goes "God DAMMIT ROUXLS WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT HERE!"

Kris, through the SOUL, flirts with Berdly, resulting in the SOUL getting an absolute beatdown from Kris after Berdly does his part to be all romantic.

[sea-otter148]

Recently I had this idea for a kind of ship called an Abilene ship, in which it's a ship everyone wants, but no one would be happy with. It comes from the Abilene paradox, in which collectively, people do something no individual person wants to do.

The ship in question is with The Fun Gang plus Noelle and Berdly, and it's basically a utilitarian solution to the love interest problem that would theoretically satisfy everyone, but that would mean Rouxls Kaard was actually right and everyone would kinda hate it. The Fun Gang are a polycule, with Susie also dating Noelle, and Berdly is the fifth Beatle of the group. To wit:

Kris, Susie, and Ralsei kinda do wanna be a thing (especially Ralsei), but that would mean one of the most annoying guys on Earth (after Berdly) would actually be right, which is a very troubling thing to happen; Noelle would be conflicted between Kris and Susie (not that Kris would approve because the SOUL just really wants to have it both ways), and everyone would object to Berdly's presence as a romantic figure, insisting on a purely platonic affair (despite what he might think, and the SOUL thinking it would just be really funny to make Kris and Berdly kiss).

[sea-otter148]

10 little stories inspired by Joy Williams' 99 Stories of God:

Content warning: religion, suicide mention, animal death, human death, unreality, among other things. Read after the cut

1

I read in a book that gorillas can't swim; the Red Sea is blue; black tar is brown, and nothing rhymes with orange.

DOES IT?

2

As fate would have it, the firefighter pilot who accidentally lifted Edward out of the water, was one Dale Watford, whom Edward met just a week prior at the blackjack table. Dale, who had learned that the house always wins the hard way, initiated a brawl with Edward, and was kicked out of the Nugget. A few days after the discovery of the body, Dale Watford, burdened by the unbearable weight of coincidence, shot himself in his apartment.

There's a story in the Reno Gazette about a wildfire, the water it took to contain the fire, and a scuba diver they accidentally picked up when preparing the water. The scuba diver's name was Edward Jeffries, a blackjack dealer at a casino in Reno, the Nugget. Although he worked dealing cards, his real passion was for the lake, as he was often seen scuba diving in Lake Tahoe. Somewhere between the lake and the wildfire, Edward died of a heart attack.

NEWS

3

It's better to be loved by a few in earnest than to be secretly hated by many.

GOD AT THE GAY BAR

4

A young art student at a university went to the museum where they kept a painting of a swan. It was made by a Dutch artist in the 1600s, and there were later additions to it by the 19th century, transforming the concrete painting of a swan defending her nest to a parable about the grand pensionary (De Raadpensionaris) defending Holland from "De Viand van de Staat," the enemy of the state. The figure of the swan was so striking to him that he abandoned his intellectual pursuits altogether, and decided to go hunting instead. His first confirmed hunt was of one mute swan.

OUTING

5

"If you look underneath your refrigerator," she'd begin, "you'll find a hard metal tab. It's a switch, and it will be set to the right. Reach under there and feel it.

When I moved into town, my aunt used to tell me this story when I was a kid.

"If it stays to the right, nothing happens, but if you switch it to the left, nothing will happen either. You won't feel the floor open up from under you and send you to the deepest circle of Hell, you won't have some demon kill you, you won't even hear a hitch in the hum of the refrigerator. One day, you might move out, switch still set to the left like nothing ever happened."

She'd leave it at that when I was a kid, but I was so eager to learn the rest of the story, and she was so eager to hide the end from me, that only when I turned 15 did I hear the rest of the story.

"However, two days after your death, if someone were to check, they'd find an odd number of fingers, toes, and eyes in your stomach."

I never did find that switch she was talking about, and I don't suppose I will.

APPETITE

6

Air Force pilot David Raymond Gutierrez had a brush with death at yesterday's air show when his engine malfunctioned. As the F-16 he was flying was cutting through the air at an incredible speed, the engine suddenly caught on fire and the plane began to go down. As he was just about to crash, he used the ejection seat to get out safely. As for the plane, nothing was left save the burning, twisted wreck of the fuselage. It was decided that the metal shouldn't be kept for scraps, but instead melted down as part of a sculpture commemorating the Navy.

FUSELAGE

7

He goes to a field somewhere, he climbs on top of a ladder he has prepared beforehand and encircled by scrap wood and kindling. He douses the wood in lighter fluid, ignites it with a match, pauses to make sure the fire has spread, and shoots himself in the head. His body falls, his body burns.

A man sits in the kitchen. He is a rational man, well-versed in the technology and politics of his time. He doesn't have a history of mental illness or significant mistreatment. He is perfectly content. One day, he leaves a note on the kitchen table, and a newspaper, both addressed to his wife and his family. The note and the headline will tell them all they need to know, the date is a year far into the future, but not far enough.

JOURNEY TO HELL

8

Once, I visited an old rural town in South Carolina, and I had noticed the old, abandoned Baptist church in the woods. On the old doors in peeling red paint, was the word "CONDEMNED." Sometimes I wonder if that's even worse than "Ichabod."

In the 18th century, when traveling preachers found a spiritually dead church, they would write "Ichabod" on the doors as a warning to others. The word is a Hebrew word, and it means "the glory has left."

ICHABOD

9

As a history major, she was trained on skepticism. Her parents were devoutly atheist, much to the chagrin of their Catholic parents. She was eager to dismiss much of what the Puritans did, particularly their atrocities, as nothing more than what happens when you get on too much opiate of the masses.

Sometimes, she wondered if the Puritans were so convinced that New England's harsh climate and wildlife was a punishment from a cruel God that they had erected those stone walls around their homes as a kind of talisman, something to ward off the devils of this world.

When she went to the Berkshires in Massachusetts for the summer, however, everything changed as she went camping for the night and quickly awoke to the yapping, screaming chorus of a pack of sixteen coyotes. When one curious pup had trundled over to her tent, sniffing for any food, she got up and ran in a panic, slashing her tent open. As she left in a hurry, abandoning her research and her stuff, she tripped on a root and fell, banging her head hard off a rock.

Fortunately, she recovered in the hospital, although she says that when she was unconscious, she had a near-death experience that caused her to convert to Christianity. Her newfound religion has also been a source of great paranoia, as she became afraid of any reflective surface, afraid that something was watching her through every mirror and reflection, waiting for the right time to strike. She lives in a hermetically sealed cabin in the woods of northeastern Connecticut now, living a life of seclusion. Around the perimeter of the cabin is an old stone wall.

NOT THAT DIFFERENT AFTER ALL

10

When he was at church, the boy was struck by the pseudo-etching of Jan Van Eyck's Last Judgement on the window. He noticed the giant skeleton hovering over the pile of damned souls on the bottom right, and it's an image that still haunts him to this day. Now a grown man, he works as a funeral director, and he wonders how many of those damned souls he had to curate, and how many got to see that skeleton.

BONES

[sea-otter148]

Three more stories I came up with just for fun:

CW for religion, unreality, and (almost) cannibalism, read under the cut

11

Gary Horst was told by the LORD to start preaching in Seattle. Gary, a staunch conservative, refused, on account of what he found was a "degenerate" people who lived there, too progressive, too monstrous for him to tend to. He went to the airport and instead booked a flight from Houston (his hometown) to Miami, in the hopes that he'd find more company there.

Alas, when the plane took off, he did not find more company, but a storm that made the visibility extremely difficult, and a bolt of lightning that managed to completely bifurcate the plane, sending Gary falling 40,000 feet into the Gulf of Mexico, seatbelt still on.

Fortunately, he survived, and the Coast Guard had rescued him while he was drifting on the Gulf, and when he was recovering in the hospital, the LORD told him to go to Seattle once again. This time, he obliged, and after he was discharged, he got on the Greyhound bus to Seattle. Once he arrived, he settled at the non-denominational church where the LORD told him to preach, and he issued a firey sermon of damnation unless the Seattleans repented. All in the packed congregation readily accepted, and the LORD had spared the city from the impending destruction on the appointed day. This enraged Gary Horst even further, and he writes that this experience with God, who seemed quite difficult, had made him become an atheist.

The sermon, in case you were wondering, was about the Book of Jonah.

COMEUPPANCE

12

Last night I had a weird dream that Jesus was made of bread and wine and I ate him. He was delicious; the bread was challah and the wine was red Merlot.

COMMUNION

13

He was very partial to the Everglades, if you had to ask him what his favorite national park was. Now, he picks a different answer, and it's not hard to see why. On a stroll along the rickety wooden platforms that tower above the swamp below, as the sun was coming down, he could hear the sound of faint, distant laughter. Assuming it to be some evening revelers, he finished the remainder of the trail just in time before the park closed. Then, he heard the laughter again, except it was a little louder. No, not louder. Closer. As he got to his car and started the engine, he was startled to see that an alligator he somehow didn't see before had rested on the hood of his car. It rolled off as soon as he backed up and sped away from the park.

In the following nights, he'd have vivid nightmares of some demonic entities partying near or in his house, laughing and having a great time. It should be noted that in almost all of these dreams, there was at least one alligator present.

ALLIGATORS ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY'RE LAUGHING

[sea-otter148]

4 more stories, due to the fountain of ideas I have (I better stop before I end up rewriting the whole book)

Content warning: animal death (in-universe), human death, abandonment, unreality

14

Today was a rather somber day for the pastor. Not only was it Lent, which meant he had to give up sugar and meat, but also because the Old Testament reading for Sunday was from Lamentations, the 5 poems the prophet Jeremiah wrote about the destruction of Jerusalem as a result of the Babylonian Exile. As the snow cast a lifeless air outside as the congregation warmed up from the bitter cold, the pastor delivered the reading, followed by a sermon.

"See, O LORD, how distressed I am;

my stomach churns,

my heart is wrung within me,

because I have been very rebellious.

In the street, the sword bereaves;

in the house, it is like death,"

Jeremiah wrote.

The sermon itself was about loss, grief, sadness, how Jesus would one day come back and all that was wrong in the world would vanish. That's the broad idea, anyway. When the service finished, and the pastor went home, he couldn't help but admire the rather eccentric painting he had bought from a friend: a copy of Anguish by August Friedrich Schenck.

In the painting, a ewe bleats over her dead lamb, as crows gather around like pallbearers at a funeral.

He wondered if this is what Jeremiah felt mourning the fate of the Israelites when the Babylonians took over. He wondered if this is how Mary wept when Jesus died on the cross. He wondered if this is what he felt when everything happened.

PAIRINGS

15

As children, they would stay up all night flashing their flashlights at each other in Morse code. They only lived two houses apart. When they moved into the city, they lived in completely separate boroughs several miles apart. Yet, as technology improved, they still found a way to talk, via texting on the phone.

One of these people suddenly vanished on the subway, never to be seen again. He was found a decade later, in Brazil, under a new name.

THE DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO

16

By 1968, it seemed like everyone was getting shot these days. Andy Warhol was shot at about 4:30 PM on June 3, 1968, by Valerie Solanas, a radical feminist writer who believed he was going to steal the script for her play. She had also shot at art critic Mario Amaya with one of the three bullets that came out of her Beretta pistol. Fortunately, Amaya was only lightly wounded. Warhol's bullet pierced his liver, spleen, stomach, esophagus, and lungs after she pressed her gun to his right side and fired. It had already killed him for a little bit that day, although it would only take 19 more years until he died in 1987. The play thing might not even be true (in fact, Andy had actually borrowed the manuscript for her play, Up Your Ass, and just forgot to give it back), we don't really know why Valerie shot Andy besides that, and the manifesto she published a year prior doesn't give us any clues, the SCUM Manifesto (SCUM is an acronym for "Society for Cutting Up Men"). Maybe it was a statement against the objectification of women in his art. Maybe it was his shitty hairdo, the one that looked like he wore a feather duster on his head. Maybe it was the simple fact that Andy Warhol was a man.

Warhol would spend the rest of his life in a corset made to support his abdomen. He became extremely distant and business-minded. He was deathly afraid of hospitals, and when he finally went for a gallbladder surgery, he had a heart attack on the operating table and died right there. He would write of the incident:

Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there — I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal, but actually it's the way things happen in life that's unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it's like watching television — you don't feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it's all television.

Solanas herself would later die of pneumonia.

One day in winter, there was a group of children who invited a boy, one of their friends, to come along with them, but this boy was slow and clumsy. He tried to pack up as quickly as he could; he picked up his books, his drawings, his knick-knacks, but he misplaced something, a certain object which he wasn't entirely sure he even knew why it was so important to him. The other kids got swept up in conversation and left the shelter without him.

As if June 1968 couldn't get any worse, two days later, Robert F. Kennedy was shot to death by Sirhan Sirhan at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles.

IT'S ONLY POLITICS

17

By the time everything had been organized, his friends were already far away. It was getting cold and night was approaching, so he hurried as much as he could. The children were far in front of him. He knew it was his fault for falling behind. He still desperately wanted to make it. But the weather grew steadily colder, and the night grew darker. The children became just a tiny image that faded from view.

FADE OUT