My little joy, I met you in your first hours
The sky over your room was painted with warm colors
How long I anticipated this moment
Months of imagining and wondering who you would be
One week later I helped bathe you
Your little hands were reached out with a smile as you grabbed at the world
I watched as others held you, too afraid to ask for a chance
Four months later I knew I'd never let you go
Pangs of jealously came over me in the following years
Your heart belonged to others
You looked at me with shyness
Your memory was not strong enough for you to know me
I imagined our days together
Summers on the swings and musical winters
Had only I been granted the chance
You were the missing piece I'd searched for through my life
More years passed before you found me
That cool summer day at the farm
That day you met me
And my heart grew larger
You tugged on my hand and put on a bracelet
You told me I had to make a wish
I closed my eyes
I wished to never lose you
My little joy, you've become my best friend
The smile that gets me through the week
You love me for who I am
You don't follow the others’ rules
Those dreams I thought were lost came back to life
As we searched for seashells
As we sang our songs
By then no one dared us apart
You've come to me for safety
To save you from tears
To give you a place to hide
To lend my voice when you didn't want to be heard
These last threes years I've watched you grow
This time has been my grace
Your small voice and squeaky laugh
Your silly smile and big brown eyes
And now I watch you facing struggle
My heart shattered hearing the suffering
Again now I am dreaming
Wishing to sit with you and hold your hand
My little joy, I know you are strong
I want to take your pain
To free you from this fear
A promise of our sun
You're back in the place your life began
But I know you will win
I am reaching out for you with the world
For you have so much in store
For Abigail (written in 2017)
[ Also published on Wattpad ]
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