Charizard is Overrated @segosal - Tumblr Blog

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catchymemes

weavemama

muffintop-malachite-deactivated

Jesus

okayladykiller-deactivated-deac

Nooo not the red one

forest-of-grace

With a sword?

Which power rangers?

slytherho-deactivated20171229

Power rangers wild force

violaslayvis

Power ranger: *murders someone with a sword*

Yall: “Which power rangers?”

snaacks-deactivated20200913

the important questions

you are so gay that if you went to book a room at the Penis & Butthole Hotel they would say “for you, my friend, it’s on the house”

mysharona1987

scholarlyapproach

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!

Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: “Oh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?” Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good.

They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It don’t matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesn’t matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up.

THEY DID THIS TO RIBS.

Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they don’t have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up.

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!

askmace

They did the same to brisket. You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply. And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month. And it was tasty. I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it.

It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes ‘ooh, that looks tasty!’.

But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket. Rich people started showing up at places that weren’t just Rib Crib to get their barbeque. And the price of brisket went up. A lot.

I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now. And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when you’re talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes. It’s become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious.

Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became ‘trendy’. Guess why you’re now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls? Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages.

Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently? You guessed it. Rich people are taking our food and now we’re scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating.

auroraluciferi

Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a “luxury food” until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a “poverty food” or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week. It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food.

Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value.

blackwitchmagicwoman-deactivate

LMAO. Wait.

thegrimmlovely

Anyone else’s eye twitchin?

strongorcbutch-deactivated20220

Food gentrification is a long standing practice and it’s some of the most evil shit I can think of. It’s why I refuse for example as someone living in the US to buy things with Quinoa in them. It is specifically pricing an indigenous population out of their prime staple food. It’s a horrific invasion of one of the final requirements of staying alive.

shitonthesewallsray

notourz

one-time-i-dreamt

Geologists have found a rare formation inside a rock that looks just like the Cookie Monster character from Sesame Street.

I can't believe this 🥺 so cute!

newkidsonmycock35

we are nothing but a joke to god

holythefirm-deactivated20210220

Why is that what you got out of that

sandersstudies

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

sandersstudies

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

hoonkus-deactivated20230701

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

sandersstudies

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

deliciouspaintthinner

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

sandersstudies

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

i-like-to-think-that-im-cool

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

real-retail-stories

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Imagine you are lost, flying through a black night in a vast world, blown by fierce winds and hunted by strange creatures. Wild and disorientated, you stumble into a cave, and seek sanctuary there. It is a dark, wet place, but you only have to survive until daylight.

And then you look up, and see the stars. And you think that you are saved….

Let me tell you about

Glowworms

Glowworms are essentially a magical fantasy creature that wandered into our world by mistake. They are unlikely and unreasonable, and I am extremely fond of them for the following reasons.

They imitate the night sky…

Glowworms, which live only in caves and riverbanks in New Zealand, are the larvae of a species of gnat. As the name suggests, they are indeed wormlike while in larval form.

They live in large colonies, clinging to cave ceilings, and oh how they glow. They glow so brightly, in fact, that at first glance it’s easy to miss all those oh-so-fine silk strands.

Millions and millions of yards of silk, wet and sticky, dangling overhead. The fact that all this knotless netting is hidden in the dim light is no accident. It’s there for a purpose.

…in order to hunt.

Glowworms are enthralling to watch, but at the end of the day they are larvae. And larvae only really have one job in life: to EAT. Unlike fireflies (which are an unrelated type of beetle) glowworms use bioluminescence not for mating but for hunting. In this way, they are more like angler fish. The light is their bait–the silk is their lure. Even at close range, their traps are quite beautiful to see, like strands of pearls or the crystals of a chandelier.

These threads are essentially fishing lines. Each worm drops its own thread…

…and waits patiently to reel in its catch…

…which it then consumes alive.

And this is where the glowworm gets its scientific name, Arachnocampa luminosa, or more literally: glowing spider-worm. Interestingly, the light-emiting molecule responsible for the glowworm’s luminesences is called luciferen, named for the Latin lucifer, “bringer of light.”

After months of feeding, these larvae will build their cocoons, emerge as adult gnats, live just long enough to lay eggs, and so die. Gradually the eggs hatch, the night sky is reinvented, new constellations are born, and the cycle begins anew.

So remember: this world contains countless miracles of nature, but nature plays by its own dispassionately cruel rules!

When you see the stars, you know you will live. You are a frail thing in a vast world, a sailor in a storming ocean–and like a sailor, you live your life by the stars. You are a navigator, born with wings on your back, born to fly: so you fly. You lift your gaze to the sky and take flight, floating up, up to the stars. You will be home again, you will be safe again, and in the morning the world will be new.

And as you rise to meet the stars, they descend to swallow you.

paypal / ko-fi

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

one last fun fact! adult glowworms (gnats) occasionally fly into the silk and are eaten by the larvae! so glowworms sometimes commit cannibalism :)

teenscoolest

g0dtier

fun fact: painters back then painted yellow fruits (most often lemons/other citrus fruits) to show off their skills. yellow is one of the most difficult colors to shade for with paint, so it showed off their skill in mixing colors. oftentimes, when theres a PEELED yellow fruit, the peel is way longer than it should be, too, just because the painters wanted to flex on people.

for example:

if you put the peel back on the lemon in your mind, you’ll find its way too long. this is genuinely just bc this painter in 1643 wanted to flex his painting skills

idk why im saying this its just a neat fact