Noah Kahan
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Game of Thrones Daily
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EXPECTATIONS
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
art blog(derogatory)
Jules of Nature
JVL
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Monterey Bay Aquarium
shark vs the universe
Kiana Khansmith
Andulka
noise dept.
Stranger Things
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane
h
seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from T1
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@selkielass
The Plus Four Wristlet Route Indicator, a British product from the 1920s, is a scroll-map navigator in the shape of a watch. It came with tiny interchangeable instructions that you scrolled manually to see which roads to take when driving.
(source)
Mary Oliver, I Have Just Said Molly Malone Cook and Mary Oliver, from Our World
I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual
It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders.
“I cast Iron Gate!”
As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids
Warding Sigil
The most wintery awoo
that’s a volcano
That’s a very fluffy dragon
Thinkin about how as kids parents told us to clean our rooms without having ever shown us how to themselves, taught us any organizational skills, spatial management, or any other knowledge necessary to know how to efficiently tackle a mess without getting overwhelmed and then got exasperated when we as ten year olds didn’t just……figure it out
This is not a dunk on my parents for the record. I had wonderful parents growing up and still have an amazing mom. I think this is just one of those smaller and common things of parenthood that I think addressing would be monumental in reducing a very common household stressor. If parents led their children in cleanups and helped them reason out plans to manage their time and stuff, especially neurodivergent kids, the entire household would be a lot more calm, streamlined, and overall happy I think!!!
I’ve got one 7 year old perfectionist (possible ADHD) and one sweet 5 year old hurricane (DEFINITE ADHD) and me (also brain full of cats, despises prolonged supervisory things). Here’s some things I’ve learned specific to that that are also generally good for teaching kids to clean. (Or yourself.)
1. If you want a kid to clean, first you have to teach them to even see mess. They don’t! But it does stress them out.
“Okay, let’s look for something out of its place. If it’s on the floor, it’s out of place. If it’s on your bed and it’s not a blanket, it’s out of place.”
2. Go by category, it’s easier to find stuff to put away if your search engine has a specific target, and it’s more satisfying and efficient to put away a big chunk of mess at once.
“Got something? Ok, are there other things like it? Let’s find all the BOOKS. I will HELP YOU.”
3. Important!! Don’t walk away from a kid with focus issues expecting them to instantly learn a task and finish it! You are setting them up to fail! The first several times you need to be there for the whole process and demonstrate by helping. That motivates them. They feel less panic that you’ll bail and they’ll be stuck alone not knowing what to do next. Narrate what you’re doing, too. Help and supervise less as they seem to need you less.
“I’ll get the books on the floor, can you help me get the ones under your bed? I can’t fit!”
4. In my experience most kids, but especially kids with ADHD would walk to the fucking moon to help you, they just need a clear plan, keep the criticism light, short, and to the point, and ffs PRAISE THEM when they do things right, cause we’ve all (I hope) seen the statistics on how much more negative interaction they get compared to other kids (and rejection sensitive dysphoria is a motherfucker). But more than praise you need to show them how what they did was good for THEM. Do nooooooooot take this opportunity for an ‘I told you so’ or a ‘finally’ or you will suck out all their accomplishment.
“Hey, great job, you found that horse you were missing because you cleaned! And your room looks so nice! It’s really comfortable to play in now, and you did that.”
5. Emphasize it does not have to be perfect or complete to be worth doing. I don’t want to will my kids my paralysis of inaction because I can’t start part of something unless I can do all of it.
“We don’t have time to do the whole room, but let’s pick up the legos before bed so you don’t hurt your feet. And then it’ll already be done tomorrow!”
Other small but important things: make sure everyone is fed and not cranky when you start, including you. Do what YOU need to be in the right patient headspace for this. Put on music. Get coffee. Take breaks! Take dance breaks, tickle breaks, whatever. Make em short, set a timer, keep it consistent. Stop completely if they’re getting overwhelmed or stressed and be prepared to finish another day. They may complain and flop around a lot the first few times. Stay tooth grindingly positive and keep at it, it WILL get better. If you mess up, start again. It’s ok. It’s never too late.
Being taught to see mess, and systematically taught how to clean in a way oriented toward showing me what cleaning does for me, would make me a much better person now, because i still struggle to see mess. Like I won’t see it till my rooms a train wreck, and then I might not think about it till the weekend or something
@serendipitous-assembly I needed this post so much like
I hope I can find resources that make me be able to relearn it
For followers with kids! They have to learn somewhere and this could help you teach them in a positive way!
-FemaleWarrior, She/They
WHY ARE YOU HAUNTED?
A survey
do flat earthers think earth still moves in space like some sort of planet sized frisbee
this is my new religion god made the frisbee-earth and then just tossed us into the abyss
the world ends when his dog catches it
As cosmogonies go I’ve seen worse.
Two great, but opposed, celestial forces: God, who created the world, and Dog, who will end it
Important question: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines and is Hogwarts vaccinated?
Circa Seventh Book
Hermione: Has the wizarding world discovered vaccines?
Ron: A wax what?
Hermione: hmmmm
Harry: Hermione, we cant take out the death eaters with a genetically magicked disease
Hermione: No I know that. Of course I know that.
*Uncomfortably long silence*
Harry: What if we gave them all smallpox
Hermione: HARRY NO! We already eradicated it once, let's not make the world do it again
Harry: Oh yeah, I guess you're right
Hermione: Now tuberculosis, on the other hand...
Hermione: If Voldemort likes the good ole' days so much, why don't we bring them back? Old society, old war tricks
Hermione, putting on a gas mask: New plan. We take them out with consumption and mustard gas
Hermione, to Voldemort: Did you know, historically, a majority of war deaths come from disease?
Harry Potter and the Violation of the Geneva Convention
The Sciences Sing a Lullaby by Albert Goldbarth
i’ll probably expand on this later, but the best ADHD Hack ™ I’ve found/sussed out is:
bundle habits together, but don’t bundle tasks together.
Explain …
So okay. When you have ADHD, one thing your brain is very very good at doing is making connections between things- ideas, concepts, people, states of mind, etc. This can be a superpower- if most people wouldn’t think to make a connection between doing a) and b), and you make that connection, sometimes you can outthink people who aren’t as good at snapping things together.
The problem comes in when you start connecting things that you don’t need to connect, like “mild displeasure” with “OH GOD EVERYONE HATES ME” or “I feel a little crummy” with “I AM THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD”.
So when we’re talking about Life Skills/ADLs, you gotta use that power to make your life easier, not harder. You gotta connect things when it makes your life better and NOT do it when it makes your life harder.
Here’s an example of the habits:
I had a stretch of time where I was too sick to do much of anything. I could barely get out of bed to get to the bathroom. I was walking with a stick and generally just… le dead. And one of the problems I had was that I could almost never remember to take my morning meds.
I decided that the first time I got up to use the bathroom every day, I’d take my meds. That way I was taking them no matter how crap I felt- I had to get up to pee, like it or not- and it was getting done pretty early in the morning.
Getting up to pee meant taking my meds; they were the same thing. I didn’t have to remember to take my meds separately, or set an alarm to remind myself, or anything like that. I just did it as part of something I had to do anyway.
As time went on and I started getting better, I realized I could do the same thing with other parts of my routine. If you connect something you need to do with something you have to do, the thing you need to do gets done.
So like… say I’m already in the habit of getting up to take a shower. I’ve lived in crappy apartments my entire life, so the water takes a minute to warm up. Since my countertop dishwasher is right outside my bathroom door, I’ll take a second to empty and load the dishwasher while the water’s still heating up. It just becomes part of the routine of taking a shower.
You don’t have to think about Doing The Extra Thing. Connecting it to something you’re already doing means that, after a certain point, it just… happens, automatically.
The problem comes in when you start trying to do this with tasks- things that you only have to get done once, that already have a fair few steps to them. Especially if that task is has a lot of steps, has a time limit, or is otherwise Hard for you.
Figuring out tasks with dependencies (I have to do this before I can do this!) is already hard for us ADHDers. Sometimes what happens is that you bundle two tasks together- you decide you can’t do something until you’ve done the other thing, even though these tasks are in no way connected.
Here’s an example:
I have three packages I need to mail. One of them is a gift for a friend in Australia, which costs a lot of money; one of them is a package for my Etsy store which is Not Finished Yet, and one is a very late Christmas package.
I might decide, “hey, I need to mail all three of these packages together! I can’t mail any of these packages until I bundle all of them!” But it’s probably smarter to mail them separately! I don’t want to make my friend with the late Christmas package wait any more, so I can mail that first, and then mail the Australia package when I have the money and the Etsy package when it’s finished.
But if I insist that I have to bundle these tasks… I won’t get any of them done. I’ll be too stressed out about the Etsy package not being done to mail the other two packages, and then I will run out of money for the Australia package, and the Christmas package will not get sent til Labour Day.
If you’re stressed out about a task with a lot of steps, sometimes it’s worth it to check and make sure you’re not bundling multiple tasks together. Can you do the thing without doing the thing that comes before? Do you have to do the other thing immediately after?
reasons why people with ADHD lie
we didn't remember what was happening and our brain made something up we only later realized wasn't true.
no one believes us when we tell the truth so it's easier to lie.
we didn't realize we were lying until the words were already out.
we have a complicated relationship to truth in that we rarely know what it is until we're told/have it affirmed to us.
We're embarrassed
we're gonna get yelled at for telling the truth anyway (because it involves some ADHD fuck-up or other)
the crushing fear of rejection we think will happen if we dont give the “correct” answer even if there is literally no wrong answer
oh. Oh
- Look, you yelled at us and insisted that “I forgot” was a lie - when it wasn’t - so many times that we threw up our hands and said “Fuck it”. Who even knows what the truth is now? Certainly not us, APPARENTLY.
- It’s not necessarily a lie as such, but if I’m in the middle of a low-key panic attack, *something* will come out of my mouth and it may or may not be the whole truth, or the truth from a certain point of view, or somewhat random and unrelated, because I’m currently devoting most of my higher brain functions to keeping the panic from becoming A Problem
where does the true balance lie between "over-planning everything and panicking when things are wrong" and "absolutely winging everything because its All Or Nothing BayBee"
are these things I'm doing actual signs of ADHD or am I just telling myself they are to make myself feel better for not functioning like an adult??
Everyone: Omg listen to this amazing podcast!!
Me, a person who can’t pay attention to anything that doesn’t have visuals for more than 3 minutes without being bored/distracted:
Hi! ADHD kid here. I know this feeling well! And because I’ve thought about it a LOT, I have some suggestions
In order not to get bored, I have to have four conditions met
Visual engagement (interesting to look at)
Audio engagement (interesting to listen to)
Mental/critical engagement (interesting to think about)
Tactile engagement (interesting to fidget with)
Sometimes a medium will fulfill all of them!
Video games are great because they’ve got their own visuals and music, they’ve got little tasks for me, and you operate them with the buttons or joysticks or keys or what have you. That’s all four boxes checked!
Some activities are NOT great. They miss boxes, or only partially fill my meter for engagement in some categories.
Sitting in a classroom at school requires me to sit still, and unless the teacher/professor has a good powerpoint there’s not much to look at. And maybe the lecture is review so it’s not even that mentally challenging. At least, not much that won’t distract me. But then you can add little tasks in to fill the gaps — if I doodle in class while I’m taking notes, I have something for my hands to do and something I like to look at! And it’ll fill up the rest of my interest in the “thought” category.
I almost never listen to podcasts without doing something else.
Podcasts for me are like lectures; they fill up my audio meter, and most of my interest meter. But I’m still lacking visuals and touch. Personally, I find that drawing can actually take away from a story unless I’m really just doodling little flowers or something. But here are some things that have worked for me!
Gardening - digging, prepping soil, weeding, picking out the rocks from the dirt, pruning, watering - all the gardening tasks require a lot of visual and tactile engagement, and a relatively small amount of focused attention.
Knitting, crocheting, embroidering - VERY tactile and visual activities, and unless you’re following a difficult or unfamiliar pattern you can just kinda do it. You maybe won’t make a tapestry, but a simple striped scarf or beanie hat will be alright for this.
Coloring books! I have this book of mandalas to color in, which is great for doodling while listening to a story
Video games! As long as they don’t have dialogue or things to read. I couldn’t play Bloodborne, or hit a story milestone in Skyrim, but like, the dungeon crawl part of Skyrim, or a game like Journey where there’s not much text, is great! I listened to the TTAZZ episodes while clearing Dwemer ruins
Taking a walk, if you’re somewhere you’d feel safe walking with headphones. If you don’t feel super safe walking alone, maybe get a couple friends with a similar issue together and have the hiking/podcasting equivalent of a silent disco
And a final note of things to avoid
Text or reading, as mentioned above - I can’t scroll Tumblr while podcasting because the language processin part of ya brain can either read or listen not both. Can’t read a book, nor write, cant hold a conversation without missing things
Watching tv, or generally trying to take in another story. I can only focus on one story at a time
Chores, homework, paperwork. For me, cleaning my room mostly means sorting through a lot of old papers and drawings, and it distracts me and often, again, involves reading. I’m better off listening to music while I do these things
Now go forth and listen to some podcasts!!
another thing you can do is lots of podcasts have transcripts that you can follow along with! i struggle with processing things auditorily too so not only does this check the visual box (looking at words) but it also checks the fidgety box if you scroll along with it and make the words bounce
oh. maybe. maybe this it. maybe that’s the problem.
