DC Obsessed

Dick Grayson Protection Squad

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you're okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[wondersmark]

DC (+ Static) as textposts bc im unfunny and bored and need to get these out of my drafts.

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Jason, cracking his knuckles: Manslaughter it is!

[incorrectbatfam]

Each reblog is another Batmobile added to the batarang budget

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: ...and her dad looks EXACTLY like the Pixar guy. Steve What's-His-Name. Jobs?

Kory: "Pixar guy?"

Donna: You always know famous people for such weird reasons.

Dick: What do you mean?

Barbara: Who is John Lennon?

Dick: Wasn't he in a band? With Ringo from Shining Time Station.

Wally: How is THAT your main association?

Dick: I also know he once did a song with the guy from Labyrinth.

Roy: You mean David Bowie? I think he's famous for some other stuff, too.

Dick: Oh yeah, he was also in Zoolander! I forgot that movie. It came out back when Jenna Bush's dad was president.

Everyone: *sighs*

[lightningflvsh]

pride art number 3! it would’ve been funnier if i’d done the rainbow batsuit but this is a very serious blog mhm mhm

[gotham-exclusive]

Diana Prince: *happily patting superman and batman on the backs* Good job gays!

Bruce Wayne: *nervous laughter* Did you mean to say gu-

Diana Prince: Did I stutter?

[oneshotprincess]

every day i think of batman hugging robin hunched over, so that robin's body is cocooned and sheltered by the cape, and i fall to my knees weeping

[graham-cracker-guillotine]

someone stop me from writing a lawyer au istg

edit: i will now apparently be writing a lawyer au. i've screenshotted the blogs who asked me to tag yall when i write it so uh. yeah. might be a while tho

edit 2: everyone who reblogged this is fake for not telling me i misspelled lawyer 😭

[multifanritz]

Jason: *sneaks into titans tower to kick some robin ass*

Tim: *hurt/crying/sleeping/sick/etc*

*all Ao3 writers collectively* Jason:

[bat-incooking-school]

I think it'd be hilarious if Tim really was Damian's favorite brother and he went about showing it in the most homicidal way possible.

Dick: Why would you stab Tim!

Damian: Joker can't hurt Drake tonight if he's already in the med bay

Dick: You could've severed an artery! You could have killed him! Paralyzed him!

Damian: Look at me, Grayson. Do I look like the kind of child assassin to accidentally kill someone? But now that you mention it, if he's paralyzed he'll be safe at home. Not out endangering himself by making enemies by breathing wrong or however he does it

Tim: Guys I'm right here! And I'm already designing a mech in case you try paralyzing me. With blasters and Bluetooth.

Damian: Dammit! That's so cool!

[batshitman]

Batman may be a vital, irreplaceable founding member of the Justice League, but he will absolutely ditch all the meetings to spend time with his children. He's got his priorities straight. Somebody merely implies he could possibly reschedule a day at the zoo with Dick and he immediately threatens to stop funding the Watchtower

[roseworth]

i just think that jason is the most unreliable narrator ever especially when talking about his robin years

[mychemicallazaruspit]

Op you can’t just leave these in the tags and pretend they don’t hurt so goddamn much 😭

[quackysprouts]

Did harley go back to joker before/after Jason died?

Was she with joker (romantically or physically) when Jason was killed?

he was the ex she never got over, at least until jason’s death

[libr4baby]

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce: Listen, Clark, could I stay at your place next weekend?

Clark: Uh, yeah, of course. Is everything okay?

Bruce: It’s going to be April 1st.

Clark, with dawning realization: Ah.

Bruce: Exactly.

Clark: Is this an escape or a plot?

Bruce: It’s a tactical retreat to allow for strategic planning and implementation.

Clark: Both then. Got it.

[ivywing]

Bold of Bruce to assume that will save him.

[drchai]

Bold of Bruce to assume Clark wouldn’t immediately cave and help his kids after even one of them pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce: You can’t keep falling for Dick’s puppy dog eyes, Clark! He’s nearly thirty! Get a grip!

Clark: What, like you’ve never done the same.

Bruce:

Bruce: That’s not the point.

Later

Lois: What’d they do to convince you to go along with their plan?

Clark: Dick said it’d be funny and promised to send me the video.

Lois:

Clark: Fine, and also the puppy dog eyes.

Lois, trying not to laugh:

Clark: You can’t just say NO to them, Lois.

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Bold of Bruce to assume his kids didn't plan on chasing him out of Wayne Manor to Kent Farm, because Alfred told them that they had to do all their pranking outdoors and away from the furniture.

Bruce, arriving at the Kents' doorstep: At last, I'm safe

Dick: Did he...not realise that we arranged for this?

Jason: Or that Clark is definitely on our side?

Tim: Or that Kon and Jon are totally going to help us?

Damian, disgusted: Some detective

[gotham-exclusive]

Steph: Have you ever fallen in love?

Tim, nearly in tears: I can’t even fall asleep