Rage Artist

Artist 33 year old, happily married, 2 cats, spends most of the time sleeping, me not the cats, on rare occasions draw and do some awesome art for your entertainment. :D on slow days you will only find Gaia avatars, on great days you will find cats.......

[stuckinapril]

Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

[stuckinapril]

She’s so one dimensionally evil you guys 😭😭 how is she real

[mintedwitcher]

read this and remember it. read this and remember that she is going to use the profits of her fucking ego-stroking reboot to decimate trans rights. read this and remember that every time you pay into her IP, you are emboldening her to hurt us more.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

trans lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

[breelandwalker]

Listen, if Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson can disavow JKR and the HP brand - the three people in the world for whom the Wizarding World was LITERALLY their entire childhood - THEN SO THE FUCK CAN YOU.

Your nostalgia is not important.

Trans lives and human rights are.

[gothamsbelfry]

Don’t Leave Me Broken and Free — Won’t You Tell Me Where You Are?

Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

Themes: angst, fluff if you squint, kinda hurt/comfort, hopeful ending

WC: 1.65k

CW: accidental pregnancy, brief non-descriptive NSFW content

A/N: i found the bare bones of this in my drafts a few hours ago and now it’s 4am and we’re here. i haven’t been inspired to actually write anything in months so i hope you enjoy!!!

You’ve known Dick for a long time now. You’re close. Not together, not really, but not not together either. You’re friends. You're more. You're not. You sleep together. You talk everyday. You go without talking for months. You don't hold it against him, it's not for a lack of trying. His job makes friendships, relationships, everything, so much harder than it should be.

It’s a rare quiet night in bed when he tells you he has to go back to Gotham. You pause, hands still clasped around his where you’d been fiddling with his fingers. You can hear the other shoe drop. You’d been living in Bludhaven a little while now, having moved a year or so after Dick had. You got a job in the city and knew you had a friend there in Dick Grayson. A ticket out of Gotham was just what the Doctor ordered. A sea change, or something.

He tells you he’s going undercover. Trying to infiltrate some criminal organisation. He’s skint on the details, per usual. Constantly worried that if he’s too open, too honest. His trouble will make its way back to you somehow. You’ll worry, throw yourself headfirst into danger at the first sign of it, if you know too much. He tries his hardest to keep his vigilante life as separate as possible from his life with you. You’re not Nightwing’s girl. You’re Dick Grayson’s. Kind of.

You sleep together again, fall asleep together, tangled up in the sheets and each other’s legs, but you wake up alone. He leaves you a note, reminds you to contact Alfred if you need anything. Tells you he’ll be back.

You don’t notice anything unusual at first. Willingly drowning yourself in work. Seeing friends. Dedicated time spent rewatching your favourite TV show front to back again. Anything to occupy your overactive mind. It’s just shy of two months before you really take notice. Things are just a little off. You’re moodier. tired. nauseous sometimes. From there it doesn’t take you long to put the pieces together. A missed period here, an odd craving there. One late night trip to the local drug store confirms what you’re trying your best to deny, but had already suspected. You’re pregnant.

You try to contact him immediately. His cell rings out. Texts go unanswered. You knew they would but you had to try. He did say to call Alfred in case of emergency but you can’t really stomach the idea of telling his family you’re knocked up.

‘Hey remember me? Yeah! Exactly! Dick’s friend.’

‘No no I’m good thank you! funny story actually. I’m pregnant and it’s Dick’s. Surprise!’

You’re not together, they know that, and frankly Dick should know first anyway. You don’t even know how he’d feel. What he’d want.

You wallow for a couple of days. It’s not that you didn’t want kids, but you hadn’t exactly planned for this either. It was a someday idea, a maybe if you’re lucky, far off and hazy in your minds eye. If you really sat and pictured it you saw warm smiles and heard excited laughter. In reality you felt cold. The loneliness you were feeling certainly wasn’t what you were hoping for. You let yourself sit in the feeling. Reminding yourself that it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. You can be strong soon. You get to feel this now. You make your first doctor’s appointment the next morning.

Your doctor reaffirms what you already know. You’re pregnant. Blood doesn’t lie. You’re knocked up. There’s a bun in your oven. She runs you through your options. Offering pamphlets and making recommendations. If you want to continue with the pregnancy you’ll have to start taking prenatal vitamins. She writes you a list of recommendations and tells you to see reception to book in for an ultrasound the following week. You don’t think you’ve really processed the information yet. Your brain feels broken. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Baby. Baby. Baby.

You continue on as normal for the next week. Work. Friends. TV. Shitty take out. Before you know it a week has passed and you’re back at the clinic. The ultrasound technician is prepping you. It’s an internal ultrasound, because you’re still in the early stages apparently. You’d never really thought about that before. In the movies it’s all squirting the goo on the stomach and looking at little grey blobs. This is a lot more intimate than you’d planned. You briefly think that maybe you should’ve shaved for this. She’s reassuring even as she digs around in there. Everything looks good. Baby looks healthy. She asks if you want to hear the heartbeat and you say yes. The second the room fills with the sound of the baby’s heartbeat — badum badum badum, something inside you snaps like a rubber band. Everything is different now. Real. It sounds like a hummingbird. You start calling the baby Birdie, or Little Bird. It feels right.

Days turn into weeks turn into months in a blur. You’re about halfway now. You caved at 15 weeks and called Alfred to check in. He still doesn’t know about the baby but he knows that there’s something. He said he doesn’t know when Dick will be back and you believe him. You ask if you can send some letters to the manor, something to give to Dick when he checks in next, or comes home. Alfred says yes, of course, that he will keep them safely guarded up until he can pass them onto Master Dick himself. So you start sending sonograms, updates from the doctors. You write letters telling him how big Birdie is this week. That they’re the size of a pear or a papaya. You cry a little when you tell him you’re having a boy. His son. At this point you know you love Dick. You knew you loved him before. It’s a fact, you’re just not trying to lie to yourself about it anymore. The sky is blue, Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you’re in love with Dick Grayson. You have no expectations, not looking for anything in return. You know he can’t commit to you, even if he wanted to, with his lifestyle, his job. What you do know is that he will be the best father a child could have, and on the worst nights when you feel the most alone, crying in bed with a hand resting on your bump, it almost feels like enough.

You’re eight months along now. Almost at the finish line. Your maternity leave officially started this week and you’re putting the final touches on the nursery you’d set up in your apartment. The little room used to be your office and now your desk sits underneath the living room window, but you think you like it better this way. It’s a worthy sacrifice. The nursery itself is circus themed. Filled with lion and elephant plushies, painted with bright reds and vibrant yellows. You even managed to find an old Flying Graysons poster. You had it framed and hung on the wall above the overflowing bookshelf. It was cheesy but it made you laugh. You like to think that Dick would love it. Maybe roll his eyes a little, but smile all the same.

You go into labor alone at three in the afternoon five weeks later. You spend twenty-seven hours in labor, and for at least ten of them you swear to your doctor that you can’t do this and need to go home. In the end, the second they place your son on your bare chest, you can’t imagine it any other way. All roads lead here. To him. Oliver Richard John Grayson. He’s beautiful. With a shock of black hair and lungs to rival the Black Canary. Despite everything you’ve never been happier. Never felt this kind of all-encompassing love. You will die for him. Kill for him. He is your everything. You can’t wait for Dick to meet him.

Alfred comes to visit you two weeks later. You’d been having semi-regular phone calls since you first reached out to him and on a particularly bad night towards the end of your pregnancy you had confessed. You swore him to secrecy. An oath he took very seriously, fortunately for you. The family wasn’t to know and it stayed that way. Alfred nearly cries when he sees Oliver for the first time. His eyes are misty and you catch him dab at them with a handkerchief. He looks so much like Dick he can’t quite believe it. You make Alfred a cup of tea while he gently rocks Oliver in his arms. He tells you they finally heard from Dick and that he’s on his way home. Anxiety crawls up your spine at the thought. You’ve missed him terribly. More than you even thought possible, but every day that passes with your son in your arms is another reminder that his father doesn’t even know he exists. You don’t know how to tell him. He’ll have the letters sure but it’s not the same. You had months to get used to this, the idea of it. To rearrange your life to fit in this tiny little human. Your heart won’t be able to take it if he doesn’t want this too. Doesn’t want to be involved. As he leaves, Alfred promises again to ensure Dick gets your letters the moment he arrives. You thank him and shut the door, trying your best to breathe. Just breathe.

Two days later you wake up with a jolt to your bedroom window sliding open, almost silently. Oliver stirs in his bassinet beside the bed and you shush him with a gentle hand held to his little face, trying to soothe him back to sleep. Dick stands in front of the window, backlit by the Bludhaven skyline, frozen. His eyes are wet with unshed tears, darting between you and the baby.

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS BY REBLOGGING THEIR WORKS

[thoughtportal]

I hope we all make it

[seraderpity]

My problem has always been that I don't want to pick anything. I see so many people with passion and conviction to do things and have things but I just want to be here. I know I should demand things and know what I want but when the questio, is there anything you need, my brain goes blank and I don't have any needs.

Another example is when I know that normal society expect me to ask for these things so I ask for them but in reality I rather not have them ans I don't mean in terms as in wasting resources. I don't have a box full of perishables that I asked for only because they offered them to me. I mean like, in most occasions people would ask to have a phone conversations, and I would like a phone conversation but I don't think I deserve or need one for that matter.

So I understand that social norms is comfortable by these things but I don't want anything.

I rant because I'm hoping I can dissect this later and figure out what I mean or if I'm just ranting for rant sake.

[seraderpity]

5/7/2023

Day 1 of experiment

Clearly no progress but you gotta start somewhere. I have a good baseline on not over messaging but anything for science.

Will post more progress tomorrow.

[seraderpity]

I want to write down how I feel but the amount of energy that takes to explain is to much to bother, let alone having to go deeper into details if in reality the only person that cares are to few and far in between.

[seraderpity]

What is more toxic, knowing your insecurities ongoing out of your way to ignore them to prevent people from critiquing you for them?

[seraderpity]

I waited and I waited and waited yet nothing arrived.

[tauforged]

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

[tauforged]

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

[tauforged]

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

[tauforged]

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

[jackalopeonline]

[seraderpity]

[seraderpity]

Happy valentines day to everyone. I was going to write here an emotional paragraph on how much I love you and appreciate you being in my life but sadly I got caught up in picking the right song to have playing in the background that I lost th inspiration. I'll either edit and add it later or just reshape this and write it. I love you so much. I know sometimes I fail to say it out loud or say it completely but I do love you. You do so much and accept me fully and I accept you fully as well. What more can you ask from a partner than that? #happyvalentinesday #digitalart #commissionsopen #happy #valentines #valentinesday #valentinesday2023❤️ #goldenslumber #0315 #2142023❤ https://www.instagram.com/p/CopAp4vLatQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[seraderpity]

Parkour Panic

“I’ll take the next patient.” The tired healer said as she came out of her small office. The Small waiting room only had two people waiting, a human Ranger with long black hair in a tight braid and the small half-elf bard that was in her arms curled up in pain, “Please she’s in a lot of Pain.” River held Stephani up to the Healer.“What did she do this time?” The healer Dolores said already regretting the question. Both girls went quiet as they looked at each other and then at Dolores. “We thought we could jump over that new statue next to City hall..” Stephani said avoiding eye contact and turning her head away from the healer while she did her incantation.

“Please just stay out of trouble, I don’t have the energy to keep putting you two back together.” She closed the door on the two heroes. River felt her shoulders slump as she feared to look down at her companion. She hoped that maybe after that nasty fall, she will move to a new obsession.

“ I was thinking we can go up the church and vault to the side of the wall of it and tic tac..” Stephani was cut off short as River covered her mouth.

“Please...I know that Druid guy was cool climbing all those walls but he also used feather fall on himself...”

“I don’t believe that...” Stephani cat leaped towards the wall and sat down on the edge.

[writing-prompt-s]

A man has had enough of his boring town and life, so he decides to dress up as a cryptid and scare people around. The town’s actual cryptid is immensely offended by this.

[seraderpity]

"..and he wore this really cheap costume with those glasses that pop out.. you know like the ones you got for Halloween that year...hey...bud?" Greg shook my shoulder as I focused back to reality. The idea this guy just creeper around at night dressed as a moth...a Mothman to be precise was upsetting. I came all the way from the UK, faked my death, impersonated an officer, payed thousands to get a new identity and for what...for a man to make fun of my college buddy!?

" His antenas are longer than that and they don't have little hearts on the end.." I growled as shotgun my Gin and pinkie drink. The baby mouse was so intoxicated in the gin he didnt even notice passing my sharp beak.

" Sheash Harvey you sure take your job as cryptic journalist seriously...I was thinking the same thing...but I mean the legs give it away that's clearly a man..." Greg laughed as he pointed at the photo of a fat man wearing a skin tight body suit of black and Grey, children's butterfly wings, googly eyes and a cheap valentines day head band with little heart antennas. He held a sign that proclaimed he was indeed Mothman and he needed change to get a light bulb.

" For starters... 'Mothman' is capable of buying bulbs without begging...infact if I recall he has a Costco card and a closet full of lightbulbs." Harvey growled as he took another shot of Gin and pinky.

" Sheash bud I think its time for you to be cut off." Greg roared as he slapped Harveys shoulder again, his ruffled white wings shook under the bussiness suit.

[seraderpity]

She felt the roof of her mouth with her tongue as she tried to figure out what to say. Nothing she said would justify messaging her if she had already logged out an hour ago. What would she say," Wanted to tell you something but I figure I'll just tell you later.." She frowned as she closed the messenger app again after the 10th time this hour. She figured she could just write a funny joke but what get got a reply was a all caps reply of " Wut??" It seems she could never win, and the more she tried the more confused her messages became.

[seraderpity]

"Thunderstorms, strong winds, someone that speaks so quietly not even reading their lips makes sense, complete darkness, and angry nuns.." River mumbled her fears as she layed on the bed at 2 am. When said out loud they sounded silly and harmless. She ussually would talk herself off the edge and focus on her breathing. Tonight it was different, the fear of the unknown made it harder to fall back to sleep.

[writing-prompt-s]

Why did you give the last of your food to that poorly disguised mimic? You were finally at peace with letting go, but now this odd thing won’t leave you alone and is even turning itself into various items in an attempt to aid you.

[seraderpity]

“YOU KNOW ITS A MIMIC RIGHT!?” River screamed as Stephani looked thru her bag for something that the clearly chest with fangs and tongue that stuck out sat on the floor.

“ Yes…I see the fangs but look at the poor dear, I’ll just give him some food and maybe throw a gold coin in there and he’ll be fine.” Stephani never had the heart to let anyone die of hunger, even if it was considered a monster by most definition. River in the other hand didn’t care who lived or died as long as she could bring Stephani back home safe to which it was a job on its own since Stephani always stopped to help anyone in the slightest need. Like the time they were stuck in one town because she had offered to help to prepare for a festival and then stayed after the festival to put everything down.

“ I can hear your mumbling over there, the town needed me…and admit it you loved watching me dance in that revealing dress..” She teased as she closed her bag.

“ I..i..i was just overheated by all the lifting…” River blushed heavily as she turned around to avoid contact.

She placed the bits of stale bread,dried meats and leftover cheese in front of the mimic. The mimic realizing it was being watched went still and formed back to the gold and silver chest opened its mouth to reveal nothing.

“ No wonder you haven’t caught anything! Who would be interested in an empty gold chest…specially one that failed to hide its ferrous teeth!” Stephani giggled as she made fangs with her two pointer fingers.

The mimic opened and closed its mouth in a annoyed clicking way letting the latch snap violently in a tantrum.

“ Calm down little one.. I bring you food and 5 pieces of gold so you can catch someone, oh and here I got this from a nice Kobold who I saved, it’s a iece of wood that stinks of really good cheese. ” She placed the block of wood near the mimic it reaked and yet made River and Stephani mouth water. “ That should at least attract a rat or two into your mouth..”

The mimic stuck out its tongue and grabbed the food, coins and wooden block and placed it in its insides. It made a sound that later River said it reminded her of a content cat if that cat was made out of wood and had a tendency to kill the ones that feed them. “ Soo…a cat..” Stephani giggled without missing a beat.

[seraderpity]

River and Stephani arrived to city where Stephani had signed up for a singing contest between missions. No matter what city they went they was always a contest of who was the prettiest dancer, or quickest at shooping an apple off someone head.

The prizes weren’t that fantastical but they prevented them from starving each night. 3rd place was always a night at the cheapest in and a hot meal. No one ever left this silly competitions upset, because in the end the city knew that no matter who won the people would have a show.

“ Ohh a lute contest! Look River a dance contest!” Stephani gasped as each contest and show they had on the board in city hall.

“ Conejo please focus on the ones that offer a night at an inn I really want to sleep on a bed tonight…” River cried as she rubbed her shoulder from the bruises of fighting the pests at the farmers empty storage room where they stayed the night.

“ I know I know…Farmer Joe didn’t know he had an infestation of large horned bottles in his space room…at least he made us breakfast for clearing his room from them.”

Stephani without taking her eyes off the bulletin board found River’s hand and squeezed it. River may be Ranger out of the two and lived most of her life in the Forrest she still was always worried about their next place to rest. “We will sleep in soft beds tonight, no matter what.” She promised as she tore a piece of paper.

They walked for a few blocks and then heard the crowd cheer in the distance.

“ What contest did you decide on?” It was never clear what the contest would be to the crowd, sometimes it was who played the best guitar solo, to who could striptease the best to a crowd. River tried to guess by the crowd and size.

“ Mostly young men with instruments…clearly a pan play off…what’s the prize?” River looked over Stephanis shoulder. The excitement was overflowing on her face as she smiled and showed her the paper.

“BREAM with rice and hot miso soup..you know like the one in Ghana in that little shop near the fortune tellers house?!”

“ But what about sleeping in a nice inn?” River whined as she understood the love for Bream. Even now her stomach growled for the seasoned fish.

“ Don’t worry. First prize has the meal and a nice room to stay in.” Stephani said as she signed her name on the paper to be a contestant..

“ Ok…well you are the bard here…I’ll just hold your things and watch you.” She took the large pack and sat down on the front row next to a tiefling and Gnome both holding pan flutes made out of wood.

Stepani sat down next to the other contestants and pulled out her wooden pan flute that she hung on her hip. Practicing a few notes she felt confident to get first prize. Each time the crowd cheered she touched her pan flute for reassurance. When it came to her turn her pan flute felt different. It was gold and had small little fangs on the edges.“ YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME…no it’s fine..it’s fine…” Stephani took a deep breath and hoped the mimic played along.

In a surprise turn of events she played her heart out as with each note she felt the crowd roar with excitement. This in turn made her twirl and dance as she played the other contestants seeing her add dance moves started to mimic her in hopes to get the crowd to pay attention to them but this only made it where they dropped their instruments. Soon it was only her and the tiefling with the silver pan flute left on stage. Stephani thanked her patreon goddess as she did her last flip and landed gracefully standing on the metal stool on the middle of the stage. The crowd went wild as they threw coins and flowers. The servants of the contest collected the coins and placed them in a clear jar for the crowd to see how much they had given to Stephani.

“It seems we have a clear winner folks, contestant number 9, Stephani!” They announced as they gave the jar of coins to her.

Stephani quickly placed the gold pan flute back in her belt where the mimic quickly turned into a small gold hoop with spikes.

[seraderpity]

Stephani walked to the judge and received the two vouchers for a room and a hot meal at the Shinzo Inn. Most of the other musicians smiled and shook hands with her, “ Wow I wasn’t expecting that last flip! Have you been practicing in your travels?” One of the bards with long braids asked her.

“ OH, you know inspiration just hit like always..” Stephani giggled as she waved River to come over with their luggage and left before there were any more questions from the other contestants.

The inn was a quiet blue building with red flowers creeping on the side of the wall, it was said that the owner loved cooking and usually changed the menu to go with what was in season instead of what was always cheapest to make in bulk. This made where getting a room in the inn harder if you didn’t know about the contest that the city had every week. Some suspected that it was a Mayor who decided this to bring in more starved artists into the city to have a chance to try the new dishes Old Man Sloewn would cook.  Stephani had become a devoted fan the minute she took a bite of his Bessie with a blanket, consisting of bread, cheese, grilled onions, ground season meat, and a bottom bun. Stephani had exclaimed that her depression was cured and then played on her harp for 4 hours straight telling the owner that this was the least she could do to pay him back for the months she had recovered after having that meal. 

The building had not changed much over there years the inside of the inn was a cream-colored orange, and the floor was a simple oak flooring to match the chairs and tables in the dining area. Alma, the bartender, and part-time innkeeper was always wiping down the table as she waited for customers to come in. “Ahh If it isn’t our favorite Bard! Welcome back, Lady Silver!” Alma teased her as she did a ridiculous bow at Stephani.

“You just won’t let that go… it’s not my fault that Old man Sloewn made it hard to make reservations.” Stephani laughed as she placed her bags down. River always thought her laughter sounded like pearls falling on a silk pillow, she shook her head as she realized Alma was talking and making eye contact with her.

“YES.. contest…sorry I wasn’t listening..” River blinked as she felt her blood leave her body and her neck stiffen up. Alma smiled softly, her brown hair was wrapped in a lazy bun and her hazel eyes watched River for a few seconds longer than necessary.  “I was asking if you won another contest to stay at the inn again. If so Chef Sloewn has already seen to it to have your room ready as well as to have a special treat ready for your arrival.” There was a loud crash in the kitchen and a tall man dressed in grey walked out screaming in what sounded like french to his staff. His voice rang across the room but even then you could tell he wasn’t truly angry more like disappointed. 

“J'attends de vous que vous cuisiniez la lotte avec l'amour que vous aviez pour votre mère et non la haine que vous avez pour votre belle-mère….Oh..The Silver charm has returned.” Chef Sloewn chidded at Stephani like a tired mother. His eyes softened and he quickly wipped his hands on his apron to carefully move one strange of hair from Stephani nose.

“Chef Sloewn has actually timed your visits to the city to where he makes your favorite dishes on the day you are in town. I don’t even know how he does it.” Alma’s eyes laughed quickly at her Boss. Chef Sloewn’s eyes glared at Alma for a second before redirecting his attention back to Stephani.

“I don’t do anything, Good fortune has shined down on me ever since I bought this Inn from the previous owner. Now I see you have one of the contest vouches from the Pan playing contest I submitted. I regret to inform you that I don’t have eel today but if you stay and play tomorrow night I’ll cover your meal and another night at the inn.” Stephanis eyes widen like plates as she realized what this meant. “ Do you have a new recipe you want to try on me before you ..” The Chef smiled slightly and looked at his apron, “Perhaps…” 

[seraderpity]

It all started with a notice on city hall, the usual wall covered in the different colors of paper had been cleared out for a large banner that hung from the ceiling and had written in large letters, "Congratulations your town is better now! Grand opening of the Shinzo Inn. Now accepting reservations for the soft opening and opening."

In most cases when a business changed hands there was an announcement and maybe the town Cryer would yell it out. If they had some extra money they would maybe even afford to broadcast it over the radio. Clearly, the new owner of the Shinzo wasn't from around here and had accidentally made the banner bigger than the bulletin board in city hall. Theresa the clerk looked winded from pinning the sign herself.

" Seems a tad excessive, no?" River whispered to Stephani who was lost in thought. She slowly walked up to the banner and touched the gold letter as if that would grant her entrance to the new restaurant. Swirling around she faced her Ranger friend and started hopping from one foot to another. " We have new cuisine to try!! How long has it been since our town had new food!!?"

"..umm..what about that one..."

" No that is just tacos..." Stephani interrupted her before she could finish, " And they never tell us where they get their meat.. now with this new place we do not have to decide where to have dinner today"

"It tasted just fine, but also I don't think we can get into that place today the grand opening is next week." River fidgeted with the crossbow on her belt.

" That's fine, we can get some Dellies and we can plan how we will charm this owner into letting in the grand opening," Stephani reassured her.

" No, we don’t accept local bards in our restaurant." Thomas, The half-orc security guard growled at Stephani.

"I haven't even shown you what skills..." She was cut short as Thomas slapped the service door on her face.

" So...we can forget this and just go to Dellies now?" River knew the answer wasn't yes but she still had to ask.

" No, now they will have to find out I am a Bard with special skills...Stephani mumbled as she dusted her cloak of dirt.

Breaking into a building for her was stupid easy, breaking into a building that had a million things to do and constantly had to let outside help come in without prior notice was even easier. The same Half-orc that had denied her access now held the door open for her as Stephani walked in holding a large boutique of roses. She hide her face but she was pretty sure Thomas didn’t bother looking at her longer than needed.

River stayed at the Cafe across the street ready to cause a distraction if things got messy. That or fight off Thomas if things got violent. If things went according to plan no one would even know she had entered the building without permission.

Breaking into a building while no one was there was kid stuff, breaking in while people were getting ready for a big event was what Stephani had fun doing in her free time. Usually, she didn’t steal anything, sometimes she just broke into the safe bank changed the quills and pens with exotic bird feathers, and replaced the note paper with pink paper. No one knew who did it and the bank owner thought it was quite hilarious, that after he take inventory of all the treasure. 

If you walk in as if you belong in the room no one questions you if they are in a hurry, servants rushed in and out of the hall and didn’t bother looking up from their busy work. The screams of an angry man could be heard down the hall where the large kitchen was located.

                                          Looking around she found the room she wanted to break into, she quickly she snuck into the office and found the paper she needed.“Invitation list..perfect...” She quickly wrote in her name and Rivers and stole two of the invites without looking into the paper. 

on the day of the soft opening, Stephani wore a backless silver dress that revealed her long slender legs and River wore the suit she used on most of her small court cases when her aim failed her.

“What did you write as your invitation, there are blank...” River mumbled as she adjusted the collar of her dark grey suit.

“I went by my first stage name and might have said you were my bodyguard.” Stephani smiled sweetly at her now-new Bodyguard. “No wonder you insisted on the suit..” River pulled her hair back in a tight ponytail and rolled up her sleeves to make her arms look bigger. 

“Name and Invitation please?” The young woman eyed Stephani as she smiled politely. Stephani closed her eyes and took a deep breath focusing on how the air felt in her lungs. Straightening her back and making her best Princess safe she looked at the young woman up and down and flashed her invitation.

“The Name is Lady Silver. I was told my table would be ready next to the fireplace as I had requested.” The young woman took a step back not expecting this and looked at her clipboard and frowned at it. “I see a Lady Silver but no extra notes. Ethan must have forgotten. I will move things around.” She said flustered as she clicked her heels together.

“Theresa please take Lady Silver to the table near the fireplace.” Looking up at River she added, “..And Show her bodyguard to the back to help peel potatoes. Greg called in sick.” Both girls looked shocked as Stephani sputtered, “But my bodyguard!” 

“Please Lady Silver this is a well-known establishment we have plenty of spells and Warlocks ready to take down evil-doers and TRESSPASERS.. if someone tries anything..” The Hostest smiled knowing what Stephani had done. 

“Fine. Tungston, please bring honor to my name and follow all of it. Theresa instructions. If you are good maybe I will bring you a doggy bag.” Stephani turned around and followed Theresa.

Once she was shown to her table she stared at Theresa and pointed at the chair, Theresa stumbled and pulled the chair for her. 

“Can I start you with a drink? Mead, Beer, Champagne?” Theresa stuttered scared of Stephani body language.

“You may Bow.. you are in the presence of Royalty...” 

“What. I mean...excuse me?” 

“I can’t start a meal until you bow to me, honestly this is why I have my bodyguard I would whisper to her and then she would  tell you.”  Stephani rolled her eyes and flipped the menu.

“How...should I bow?” Theresa attempted to bow feeling eyes on her.

“The Moment is gone please bring me Full moon beer, I prefer from the tap if you have it..”Stephani sighed heavily as she held her temple and waved Theresa away with her free hand.

Clearly, things were not going according to plan, now her muscle was in the back of the kitchen peeling potatoes and if the hostess was making it clear she knew or at least had an idea Stephani had lied in the invitation.  On the upside, she had no proof so bringing attention to her would actually cause more problems for the Chef in the end. As long as she didn’t call any more attention to herself.  She flipped the menu over and again she felt her heart explode with excitement. 12-course meal and the first dish was an  Hors D'Oeuvres of goat cheese crostini with fig-olive tapenade. The thin slices of toasted bread cradled the white creamy goat cheese. Stephani could smell the fresh olive and crushed pepper tickle her nose and had to restrain herself from shoving both little flavor boats in her mouth. Slowly she lifted the tapenade and sniffed it. Closed her eyes and inhaled the fragrance of the olives, butter, and figs.

Each course was delicious and everytime they brought a new dish out Stephani cried tears of joy. " I swear I think I'm cured of my depression."

Stephani cried as she stuffed the toasted bread in her mouth. She closed her eyes as she imagined how the bread was toasted and season.

" Miss I been sitting here for the last 10 minutes while you chewed on a piece of bread." The tall man dressed in white finally spoke.

" Yes..and you can tell the head chef that the food is to die for..." Stephani mumbled slowly opened her eyes. The blood slowly turned into ice.

" Chef.. I wanted to congratulate you on a successful soft opening..." Stephani tried to stay in character but the cold stare that Chef gave her made it quite difficult.

" After that misunderstanding there was some rectification and apologies..."

" you mean I stayed after hours and cleaning up while you got drunk with Old man Slowen.."

"Like I said ended on a good note..." Stephani said as she sat on the table next to the fireplace.

[writing-prompt-s]

Why did you give the last of your food to that poorly disguised mimic? You were finally at peace with letting go, but now this odd thing won’t leave you alone and is even turning itself into various items in an attempt to aid you.

[seraderpity]

“YOU KNOW ITS A MIMIC RIGHT!?” River screamed as Stephani looked thru her bag for something that the clearly chest with fangs and tongue that stuck out sat on the floor.

“ Yes…I see the fangs but look at the poor dear, I’ll just give him some food and maybe throw a gold coin in there and he’ll be fine.” Stephani never had the heart to let anyone die of hunger, even if it was considered a monster by most definition. River in the other hand didn’t care who lived or died as long as she could bring Stephani back home safe to which it was a job on its own since Stephani always stopped to help anyone in the slightest need. Like the time they were stuck in one town because she had offered to help to prepare for a festival and then stayed after the festival to put everything down.

“ I can hear your mumbling over there, the town needed me…and admit it you loved watching me dance in that revealing dress..” She teased as she closed her bag.

“ I..i..i was just overheated by all the lifting…” River blushed heavily as she turned around to avoid contact.

She placed the bits of stale bread,dried meats and leftover cheese in front of the mimic. The mimic realizing it was being watched went still and formed back to the gold and silver chest opened its mouth to reveal nothing.

“ No wonder you haven’t caught anything! Who would be interested in an empty gold chest…specially one that failed to hide its ferrous teeth!” Stephani giggled as she made fangs with her two pointer fingers.

The mimic opened and closed its mouth in a annoyed clicking way letting the latch snap violently in a tantrum.

“ Calm down little one.. I bring you food and 5 pieces of gold so you can catch someone, oh and here I got this from a nice Kobold who I saved, it’s a iece of wood that stinks of really good cheese. ” She placed the block of wood near the mimic it reaked and yet made River and Stephani mouth water. “ That should at least attract a rat or two into your mouth..”

The mimic stuck out its tongue and grabbed the food, coins and wooden block and placed it in its insides. It made a sound that later River said it reminded her of a content cat if that cat was made out of wood and had a tendency to kill the ones that feed them. “ Soo…a cat..” Stephani giggled without missing a beat.

[seraderpity]

River and Stephani arrived to city where Stephani had signed up for a singing contest between missions. No matter what city they went they was always a contest of who was the prettiest dancer, or quickest at shooping an apple off someone head.

The prizes weren’t that fantastical but they prevented them from starving each night. 3rd place was always a night at the cheapest in and a hot meal. No one ever left this silly competitions upset, because in the end the city knew that no matter who won the people would have a show.

“ Ohh a lute contest! Look River a dance contest!” Stephani gasped as each contest and show they had on the board in city hall.

“ Conejo please focus on the ones that offer a night at an inn I really want to sleep on a bed tonight…” River cried as she rubbed her shoulder from the bruises of fighting the pests at the farmers empty storage room where they stayed the night.

“ I know I know…Farmer Joe didn’t know he had an infestation of large horned bottles in his space room…at least he made us breakfast for clearing his room from them.”

Stephani without taking her eyes off the bulletin board found River’s hand and squeezed it. River may be Ranger out of the two and lived most of her life in the Forrest she still was always worried about their next place to rest. “We will sleep in soft beds tonight, no matter what.” She promised as she tore a piece of paper.

They walked for a few blocks and then heard the crowd cheer in the distance.

“ What contest did you decide on?” It was never clear what the contest would be to the crowd, sometimes it was who played the best guitar solo, to who could striptease the best to a crowd. River tried to guess by the crowd and size.

“ Mostly young men with instruments…clearly a pan play off…what’s the prize?” River looked over Stephanis shoulder. The excitement was overflowing on her face as she smiled and showed her the paper.

“BREAM with rice and hot miso soup..you know like the one in Ghana in that little shop near the fortune tellers house?!”

“ But what about sleeping in a nice inn?” River whined as she understood the love for Bream. Even now her stomach growled for the seasoned fish.

“ Don’t worry. First prize has the meal and a nice room to stay in.” Stephani said as she signed her name on the paper to be a contestant..

“ Ok…well you are the bard here…I’ll just hold your things and watch you.” She took the large pack and sat down on the front row next to a tiefling and Gnome both holding pan flutes made out of wood.

Stepani sat down next to the other contestants and pulled out her wooden pan flute that she hung on her hip. Practicing a few notes she felt confident to get first prize. Each time the crowd cheered she touched her pan flute for reassurance. When it came to her turn her pan flute felt different. It was gold and had small little fangs on the edges.“ YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME…no it’s fine..it’s fine…” Stephani took a deep breath and hoped the mimic played along.

In a surprise turn of events she played her heart out as with each note she felt the crowd roar with excitement. This in turn made her twirl and dance as she played the other contestants seeing her add dance moves started to mimic her in hopes to get the crowd to pay attention to them but this only made it where they dropped their instruments. Soon it was only her and the tiefling with the silver pan flute left on stage. Stephani thanked her patreon goddess as she did her last flip and landed gracefully standing on the metal stool on the middle of the stage. The crowd went wild as they threw coins and flowers. The servants of the contest collected the coins and placed them in a clear jar for the crowd to see how much they had given to Stephani.

“It seems we have a clear winner folks, contestant number 9, Stephani!” They announced as they gave the jar of coins to her.

Stephani quickly placed the gold pan flute back in her belt where the mimic quickly turned into a small gold hoop with spikes.

[seraderpity]

Stephani walked to the judge and received the two vouchers for a room and a hot meal at the Shinzo Inn. Most of the other musicians smiled and shook hands with her, " Wow I wasn't expecting that last flip! Have you been practicing in your travels?" One of the bards with long braids asked her.

" OH, you know inspiration just hit like always.." Stephani giggled as she waved River to come over with their luggage and left before there were any more questions from the other contestants.

The inn was a quiet blue building with red flowers creeping on the side of the wall, it was said that the owner loved cooking and usually changed the menu to go with what was in season instead of what was always cheapest to make in bulk. This made where getting a room in the inn harder if you didn’t know about the contest that the city had every week. Some suspected that it was a Mayor who decided this to bring in more starved artists into the city to have a chance to try the new dishes Old Man Sloewn would cook.  Stephani had become a devoted fan the minute she took a bite of his Bessie with a blanket, consisting of bread, cheese, grilled onions, ground season meat, and a bottom bun. Stephani had exclaimed that her depression was cured and then played on her harp for 4 hours straight telling the owner that this was the least she could do to pay him back for the months she had recovered after having that meal. 

The building had not changed much over there years the inside of the inn was a cream-colored orange, and the floor was a simple oak flooring to match the chairs and tables in the dining area. Alma, the bartender, and part-time innkeeper was always wiping down the table as she waited for customers to come in. “Ahh If it isn’t our favorite Bard! Welcome back, Lady Silver!” Alma teased her as she did a ridiculous bow at Stephani.

“You just won’t let that go... it’s not my fault that Old man Sloewn made it hard to make reservations.” Stephani laughed as she placed her bags down. River always thought her laughter sounded like pearls falling on a silk pillow, she shook her head as she realized Alma was talking and making eye contact with her.

“YES.. contest...sorry I wasn’t listening..” River blinked as she felt her blood leave her body and her neck stiffen up. Alma smiled softly, her brown hair was wrapped in a lazy bun and her hazel eyes watched River for a few seconds longer than necessary.  “I was asking if you won another contest to stay at the inn again. If so Chef Sloewn has already seen to it to have your room ready as well as to have a special treat ready for your arrival.” There was a loud crash in the kitchen and a tall man dressed in grey walked out screaming in what sounded like french to his staff. His voice rang across the room but even then you could tell he wasn’t truly angry more like disappointed. 

“J'attends de vous que vous cuisiniez la lotte avec l'amour que vous aviez pour votre mère et non la haine que vous avez pour votre belle-mère....Oh..The Silver charm has returned.” Chef Sloewn chidded at Stephani like a tired mother. His eyes softened and he quickly wipped his hands on his apron to carefully move one strange of hair from Stephani nose.

“Chef Sloewn has actually timed your visits to the city to where he makes your favorite dishes on the day you are in town. I don’t even know how he does it.” Alma’s eyes laughed quickly at her Boss. Chef Sloewn’s eyes glared at Alma for a second before redirecting his attention back to Stephani.

“I don’t do anything, Good fortune has shined down on me ever since I bought this Inn from the previous owner. Now I see you have one of the contest vouches from the Pan playing contest I submitted. I regret to inform you that I don’t have eel today but if you stay and play tomorrow night I’ll cover your meal and another night at the inn.” Stephanis eyes widen like plates as she realized what this meant. “ Do you have a new recipe you want to try on me before you ..” The Chef smiled slightly and looked at his apron, “Perhaps...”