Seraphmin's Trash Can

If I look like I have no idea what I'm doing that's because I dont || She/They/He || Queer as in fuck you || 25

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

I am against Leo XIV because I think a USAmerican Pope makes the chances of an antipope in my lifetime less likely

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

I am big enough to admit that I was completely wrong about this. Just utterly off base

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[mollyjames]

There's a lot going on right now...

[mollyjames]

patreon.com/mollyjames

[thelensart]

Just needs some fuel

[homunculus-argument]

Sometimes when doing business with my publisher or accounting, I wonder how much having me as a client is like having sheep. Like you've got this dumbass fucking thing that naturally produces the goods that make up a good chunk of your income, but in order to keep it going you've got to make sure that I don't swallow anything weird and die. And it's just profitable enough to be worth the headache.

Like yeah I have no concept of how to turn fleece into money and money into food, but you have no other options of how to get fleece so you're stuck with me. You can send me an e-mail all you want but just because I get the notification doesn't mean I'll remember it 30 seconds from now. You gotta call me to make sure that I read the e-mail.

I also wish that I was not like this.

[hi-im-kaybee]

jerma: listen... i just really like strawberries and bananas! (suppressed giggle) it's not- it's not weird to like fruit. to enjoy a yummy strawberry on a summer's day! (looks at chat) "strawberries are weird and gross". what?! huh?!? listen to yourself!! what are you even saying?!?

the game he's playing: [grinding corpses to viscera in an abandoned hospital]

[pisces-comet]

northernlion: Do. Do you ever think about those half-time events where they give away free tuition to whichever college student could sink a basketball into the hoop? How fucked up would it be if you were the person who didn't sink in a basketball and your only thought while an entire stadium is applauding your classmate is "If I'd only sunk one more ball in I wouldn't have had crippling debt"? They got college students out here in the damn hunger games and what? (reads chat) "...hey NL it's just for fun you know what fun is right". you're morally bankrupt. and you will never see the light of heaven. motherfucker. (shouting) AT LEAST IF THEY WERE KILLING EACH OTHER FOR SPORT WE COULD BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON THERE!!! (adjust headphones) Anyway...

the game he's playing: [pastel emoji matching game]

[peoplegettingreallymadatghosts]

anon seeks to evade World War Three by escaping to beyond the Ice Wall

[notaaronsroommate]

this shit rules. I hope they succeed, because the podcasts and video essays and memoirs that come out of a fully staffed neonazi mission to escape the draft by finding the other side of the flat earth icewall will be SO good. like can you fucking IMAGINE the smells that are gonna be created on that vessel? Someone is going to create a shrine to an obscure mass shooter in the bowels of that ship like it's fucking bioshock and someone else whose on the femboy cumcannon vitamin mix is going to ritualistically desecrate said shrine by jizzing on it crazy style. Someone is going to disappear off the ship entirely. Someone is going to try to get the boat unstuck by using vril energy.

[peoplegettingreallymadatghosts]

You envisage such a beautiful scene

[gothiccharmschool]

Fifty years ago today, Interview with the Vampire was released. That means I must share the most unhinged cover art the book has ever had, and yes I have it in my collection.

[charl0ttan]

a friend recently made an off the cuff joke about secondhand smoking. how she has to use her second hand because her first is occupied with pleasuring herself. im so mad. im so so mad its really good its so so good. im in deep awe and i wish i had thought of that. i wish i could do that

[egregore-engine]

Alien: I see. So, your kind inhale cancerous toxins because the effects of temporary poisoning are experienced as pleasurable by some of your species?

Me: yes, in various forms, but you have to understand that the primary reason I and others in our species participate in this particular ritual is to ritually invoke erotic mating behaviors by using a phallic symbol to communicate our readiness to copulate and our laxness with traditional contending ritual doctrines discouraging mating.

Alien: Ah, so this goes back to that Freud guy you talked about before.

Me: on some level. He had some less advanced analytical technologies but they were typical of his era.

Alien: I see. And this is a “heterosexual” behavior?

Me: actually the ritual itself is sexuality agnostic. By invoking primary images of sexuality, we’re able to utilize these symbols outside of their conventional contexts, by making symbolic references to them.

Alien: are these references like the references you mentioned in rust programming of memory pointers?

Me: yeah, you got it! and therein lies the eroticism of programming the machine. It’s why the machine is related to sexually by many humans.

Alien: fascinating.

Me: humans also use this ritual to find willing mates by prompting other humans to ask us if they can participate in the ritual with us. But this isn’t always the case, and that ambiguity —

Alien: creates tension in the uncertainty. It’s all play again, I see.

Me: precisely.

Alien: can I bum a smoke off you?

Me: ;)

Alien: ;)

[aces-and-anime]

Me: I’m a trans man, I am transitioning

18th century Monk: My dear boy, we are all transitioning - from birth to death

[translatingpostsintolatin]

Ego: Transsexualis vir sum, transeo

XVIII centennii Monachus: Puer mi care, omnes transimus - a partu ad mortem

[aces-and-anime]

Thank you so much, 18th Century monk

[orcboxer]

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

[cyalaterbyeyall-deactivated2025]

well that was fucking stupid

[sci-the-superb]

[vibraph0ny]

Everyone's all "ohhh 2026 bring back physical media" until I start talking illuminated manuscripts and then suddenly we're not on the same page anymore

[memorizingthedigitsofpi]

I made an illuminated manuscript skin for AO3? So im doing my part!

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who hasn't been held in a decade: oh I'm pretty low maintenance, yeah honestly I think I'd find that overwhelming or something, can I just hold your hand instead? If that's okay of course?

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who feels ill at the notion of taking up space: yeah I can stand. Yeah honestly it's no biggie I like standing. Do you mind if I lean here? It's okay to say no.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would rather die than be considered selfish: I'm really sorry to ask I'm probably just being annoying but could I ask for another pillow? Yeah there isn't one in the room. Yeah no worries I can just bunch up some towels if needed.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who's most outlandish and fantastical fantasies are a coffee date and seeing a movie with someone: oh I don't get out much. Yeah I don't really like being around people. I'm pretty much an introvert. Or something like that yeah.

[alurkerlieshere]

Woman who would break down screaming and crying if someone showed even a hint of affection in person, who would fall apart at the seams if you held her still and asked her if she was okay, woman who if allowed too would wrap herself around you and sob and weep until she became severely dehydrated: oh yeah sorry I spaced out for a second there. Yeah I'm doing alright.

[peco-pech]

海が見たい 人を愛したい！

I want to see the ocean, I want to love people.

(This art is inspired by a chorus. )