I am a Real Hu-man With Real Hu-man Limbs

This is a blog that has things and stuff.

[karnalesbian]

i could definitely beat the shit out of master chief seeing as i'm a lesbian and he's not a lesbian

[parmashaun]

[karnalesbian]

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

the staccato trumpet trills from the end of TANK! but they just keep going

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP-brp-brp-brp-brp-BRP

[rose-blumen]

Visit Original Link

I have been prepared for this moment for like 2 months

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

holy shit i am in tears

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[rhube]

I just remembered that this was a thing that was HILARIOUS in 2006 and apparently that was ten years ago now.

Old people: join with me in remembering how funny we found this on LiveJournal.

Young people: look at this lolrus, it’s so happy, it has a bucket.

And then they stealed away the bucket and we realised we had fucked up a perfectly good elephant seal and given it anxiety.

[pipistrellus]

listen this vintage meme is high quality and i will hear nothing said against it

[rhube]

20 years. I am not happy about this.

[demonicsymphony]

I’m delighted at the bucket reappearing but dismayed at the passage of time

[luminouspica]

Happy 20 years to Lolrus and his bucket!

[punkitt-is-here]

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

[totally-cis-offical]

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

[moon-of-curses]

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

[jaypilled]

are those my only options

[lindleland]

disco elysium dialogue tree

[catchymemes]

[mustachioedwalrus]

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

He’s right. Ten dollars for that much cheese, buying it is the only correct decision.

[anaridgrassland]

HANG ON IT GETS BETTER!!!

I just went to her tiktok to see if there was ever an update to the cheese situation (she reposted the video a year later saying they still had half of it) and said they just shredded the last of it recently.

HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN!!!!! 🤣

[noadventureshere221b]

They censored the store name. I get it but damn. I wanna know.

[big-smiling-monkey]

Find the name of that store before they go out of business for some inexplicable reason

[sourdough-seal]

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

[orbitalmirror]

"how did you get into writing" girl i've been tormented by the visions since i was eight years old

[blondebrainpowered]

[dnd-knightt]

Show of the year actually

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[aniseandspearmint]

"I love you. ...That was for the potatoes, not for you."

[potato-murderer]

I am now in debt to someone I have never met before

[potatofacts]

If you did this to a human they wouldn’t like it but potatoes aren’t even remotely scared of this

[targetedknowledge]

[modlich-303]

[afurioushawk]

Hard scientific truths for people whose interest in science peaked in 5th Grade:

Pluto is not a planet

Fish as a distinct biological category don't exist

All birds are dinosaurs

Pterosaurs and Plesiosaurs are not dinosaurs

Chickens did not evolve from T. rex just like humans didn't evolve from chimpanzees

All snakes are lizards

All apes, including humans, are monkeys

Evolution is about doing the bare minimum necessary to survive in order to reproduce, not about evolving towards any "advanced" ideal

[afurioushawk]

Humans are not "more evolved" than other species.

We're in the minority of mammals that can't even produce our own vitamin C thanks to a mutation passed down from a distant ancestor whose access to fruits meant the mutation didn't kill them.

[syzygy-yzygy]

So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.

I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.

[syzygy-yzygy]

@aspengrown this is the rawest possible addition to this post thank you

[mylordshesacactus]

and also:

cat love as in I am small and scared and all of my instincts and my experience and your vast power say you're a threat but I am choosing to trust in your kindness despite my fear. you could kill me with one hand but I know you won't.

cat love as in I can tell you are upset and I don't understand why so I will sit stiffly beside you and awkwardly provide the only reassurance I know how to give. I am uncomfortable with every single moment of this but it is what you would do for me.

cat love as in I am small and powerless but I will curl up back to back with you and stand guard while you sleep and I will mean it with every fiber of my being.

my cat Nepenthe was a former stray behavior case at risk of euthanasia because she kept mauling potential adopters. on her second week in my apartment--having already attacked me multiple times without provocation, I will add, I wasn't special, she needed genuine help--she slinked out of the bedroom yowling at me. when I went to check on her she kept walking back and forth until I followed her, where she insistently paced between my feet and her hidey-hole in the back of my dresser, increasingly distressed. about three seconds after she gave up and hid, an absolutely torrential rain front hit. she didn't understand yet that we couldn't get wet inside. she'd been trying to warn me.

she didn't know me yet, but she knew I hadn't yelled at her when she hurt me. she knew I hadn't tried to hurt her back. she didn't understand why she was attacking me; those episodes probably scared her more than me. she knew I "shared" food with her, and that I asked before touching her. and she went out of her way to bring me into her safe space, to protect her friend.

cat love as stiff hesitant uncertain acts of service that are devastating in their sincerity, as well.

[naamahdarling]

I'm sorry, I had a response to add on, but now I'm crying over your cat. Oh my god.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

cat love as stiff hesitant uncertain acts of service that are devastating in their sincerity, as well.

He had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.

Isabel Allende, from The House of The Spirits

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[mollymerula]

we need to normalize a tradition where nonpartnering aros are like "hey, i'm officially never getting married, please come to this party and give me whatever kitchenware you would have bought me for a wedding"

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[argentcochon]

[probuccalfat]

i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.