he still smells like filth and exertion, blood and bloodlust all the same when you find him where the horses unload, at the tail end of a skirmish. before you can say a word, he whispers, “i’m fine” and his back is still turned, as if he’s ashamed at how he appears now, like some kind of ghastly revenant, still shaking off the grotesque stench of titan and other soldiers’ combined desperation.
“i know,” you reply.
“so don’t fuss-“ levi pauses once he sees your palm outstretched before him, and his tired eyes flit back to your direct, demanding gaze.
“return it to me.”
his mouth opens initially to betray confusion, but then he remembers it, the thing he’s been holding close to his chest for hours - a pocketful of herbs he finds useless but are both pungent and soothing at once. they’re shoved into a small satchel, small enough to hang from his neck by a thin cord.
not a drop of blood has touched it; it is pristine. nor has the fabric torn or frayed… it is just as intact as the very moment you handed it to him.
“are you really asking for your good luck charm back?”
and yet he places it carefully into your palm.
you smile, shoving it back into your pocket.
“you took care of it, as expected.”
and then, you suddenly have a handkerchief, as if by magic, a sleight of hand, and it presses against his cheek, damp with clean, soapy water. his hand immediately covers yours keeping your hand and the cloth in place.
“you have other soldiers to take care of,” he reminds you.
“they’re stable and i will get back to them, but no one else was holding on to something important to me.”
he considers this for a moment, then snorts, slipping the handkerchief out of your hand finally to wipe grime off his face and neck more earnestly.
“you’ve made your point.”
you smile, patting your pocket. “i sure have,” you turn on your heels and return to your post.
it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free
❈ content: ~4k words, ex-boyfriend!eren x female reader. jealousy, f!receiving oral, sexual content, explicit language. re-posted for new blog. 18+
It’s been a while since I last did something like this.
‘This’ being the no-strings-attached, casual sex thing. That little fact was all you could focus on at the moment. You weren’t sure if you were doing this right, if your hands were too stiff or your palms too clammy. Did you use too much tongue when you kissed, or would he prefer it if you used more? Could you effortlessly slip from your jeans in this position, or would you make an awkward show of it?
Then, after he shoved his hand down your front, you only thought of how frigid his fingers felt as they carved their way to your heat.
Above everything else, you wanted to know how long it’d take to get off—if you would even get off—and for him to leave.
He had a name, by the way. It was Tyler.
And look, Tyler was a nice guy. At the very least, he’d proven himself nice enough over the last three hours you’d known of his existence. But if it were up to you, you would be alone right now. Maybe you’d be fast asleep, or maybe you’d be three-quarters deep into a second bottle of wine. Who knows? Either sounded nice, really.
That was Plan A for your Saturday night in. But what actually happened was far different, not even Plan B or Plan C. You couldn’t have planned for your best friends to barge into your apartment, force you into the shower, and drag you out to the bars with one goal in mind: to hook-up with someone.
For the love of god, please just fuck someone else, they begged. As if it were really that easy, you said to them, but they were right. It really was that easy. Of course, that didn’t mean you were looking for anything more than a one-night stand, and you certainly weren’t hoping Tyler would stick around for coffee and eggs in the morning.
Tyler. Right. Back to Tyler.
You ran your fingers along his belt and let them rest teasingly against the buckle. You asked him, “Do you have a condom on you?”
His hand twitched like he was eager to prove he’d come prepared. Something about that disappointed you—that he, much like you, went out for one reason only. Tyler would have slept with anyone tonight. It just so happened that ‘anyone’ turned out to be you. If not you, then it would have been the next girl he spoke to, surely, or the one after her.
You dwelled for much longer than you should have. You let the thought fester until it was no longer a thought at all, but a churning in your stomach. The same sick feeling you’d get after spinning too long on a carnival ride. Instead, you found yourself seated in a stranger’s lap, bearing it all for him in just your underwear, quiet, blinking, waiting to see if he knew how to open a condom.
Frustrated (at either him or yourself, you weren’t quite sure) you snatched it from his hands. Just as quickly as you ripped the wrapper, you dropped it, startling from the thud of someone at your front door.
No, not just at the door, but opening the door. You didn’t actually believe it until you whipped around to find the old, creaky thing swinging wide open.
You leapt from Tyler, cowering behind whatever pillow was within reach in a vain attempt at covering yourself. But in a single blink, your terror rearranged itself into something else entirely. Pure and utter annoyance.
You exhaled, hard and so full of grievance that it tinged your every syllable. “What the actual fuck, Eren?”
Beside you, Tyler cursed, “Jesus Christ,” under his breath. His exhale was one of relief, having realized this wasn’t a random break-in, and the two of you wouldn’t wind up on the nightly news.
“Oh, shit. Sorry,” Eren said, but clearly didn’t mean. His tone was flat, like always, and he made no effort to fix his mistake. He didn’t leave or cover his eyes—hell, he didn’t even try to avert them to give you the chance to make yourself decent. He just went and made himself comfortable, leaning up against the wall like he still had any right over the place.
A deathly silent second passed before Tyler apparently had enough, erupting, “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?”
The poor guy was rightfully confused and probably owed an explanation. Before you could get to that, however, Eren did what he did best and made the situation worse.
He answered for you, saying, “Her boyfriend.”
“Ex,” you quickly amended before Tyler could get the wrong idea—if it wasn’t too late already. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”
“And yet I still have the keys to her apartment,” Eren butted in. He was even-toned, even-tempered, speaking only to Tyler as he spun the set around his finger. “Kinda weird, don’t you think?”
“We broke up two weeks ago. I haven’t had the time to get them back,” you muttered.
The anger you harbored now sheathed you like a set of armor. And much like armor, it could be chipped away, bit by bit, to reveal your soft inner—that wretched feeling of embarrassment. It crept up your spine and singed your cheeks. You could even hear it in your voice as you snapped at Eren, “Why are you even here, anyway?”
“You weren’t answering my calls,” he replied, all nonchalant, shifting his weight from one foot to his other.
You crossed your arms like it meant anything. “That’s no reason to come over unannounced.”
“I needed to get something.”
“Really?” you balked. You shouldn’t have been surprised, but did he really take you for such an idiot? Even after all this time? Did he truly believe that answer would suffice in a moment like this?
“You came all this way on a Saturday night at,” you grabbed your phone off the armrest and checked the time, “12:47 in the morning just to get something? Don’t you have anything better to do?”
Eren’s shrug was as half-assed as his excuse, not that you expected more from him. That was a part of the reason you broke up, after all.
“Alright,” Tyler announced. He pulled his shirt over his head and rose to his feet. “This is getting too fucking weird. I’m out.”
You didn’t know why, but you reached out for him. You didn’t do it because you particularly wanted him to stay, you knew that much. It was more like you did it because you couldn’t lose like this. Not in front of Eren.
“Wait! Tyler—”
“No. Just—no,” Tyler said with a shake of his head. He lacked anything better to say, or maybe you didn’t deserve it, but you got the message loud and clear when told you, “You clearly have some,” his eyes flitted from you to Eren, “things you need to work out.”
Eren ignored the dig, remaining silent as he watched Tyler scramble to put on his shoes. He snorted a laugh when the door slammed shut and it was just the two of you. Again. Like old times. Ugh.
“Great. That’s just great,” you huffed. “You’ve successfully ruined my night. Are you happy?”
“It was ruined before I came over,” Eren quipped.
When you chose not to respond—which took a great deal of strength, might you add—you couldn’t tell what Eren would do next. He could poke and poke some more until he picked the fight he’d obviously come looking for. Or he could finally grow up and stop beating the dead horse that was your past relationship.
“So,” Eren began. He pushed himself off the wall and invited himself a few steps further into your apartment, hiding his hands in his pockets as he spoke. “What was this supposed to be? A rebound? Are you finally living out your little rebellious phase?”
Here we go again.
“Oh, fuck off.”
You gathered your shirt, not the shirt you’d worn out earlier, but the stretched-out tee you’d left tossed over the back of your couch. The one you’d spent the last four days rolling around and rotting away in. You popped your head through the collar only to see Eren even closer than before, looking at you like he wanted something.
“Well, get on with it,” you urged with a dismissive wave of your hand. “Go find whatever you so badly need and get out already.” And get your laugh in, knowing I’ll be alone in bed tonight, again. You bit your tongue on that last part, confident that he’d actually take you up on your offer.
Eren clicked his tongue at you in a sort of reprimand. And if that wasn’t enough to set you off, then it was the obscenely honeyed way he cooed your name that absolutely infuriated you.
With a subtle tilt of his head, he asked, “What happened to my sweet girl? Didn’t you miss me?”
You felt your eye twitch. “No.”
“Not even a little?”
“Not even a little,” you repeated, slow and stern.
Eren stared a second longer, searching for any signs of your bluff. He only found Tyler’s tossed aside condom, half-opened, nearly ready for use.
His eyes narrowed in scrutiny, but not before you caught how they darkened to this deep, velvety shade of green. There and gone in a flash, you didn’t see it again. He was careful not to make the same mistake twice. His expression went passive once more, stoic yet easy, just like the words he hummed.
“Then I guess we’re gonna have to do this the hard way.”
“Do what the hard way?” You laughed in bitter disbelief at his audacity. “If you’re going to be difficult—which I’m sure you will be—then just tell me what it is you want, and I’ll go get it for you.”
“I’m afraid it’s not that simple, dollface.” The look he gave you—you knew exactly where this was headed. “See, the thing is…” You anticipated it when he came in close, so painstakingly slow, and you didn’t flinch once. Even as he planted his hands on either side of your legs, caging you to the couch, you didn’t move. “I’m here for you, and I’m not leaving unless it’s with you under my arm.”
You wanted to laugh in his stupid, smug face, at his stupid guy-gets-the-girl-back movie line, but your throat had gone dry. You barely managed it, almost choking on the word, when you bit, “Smooth.” You sat up higher this time when you said, “Did you really think that would work? That you could come crawling back and we’d be together again, just like that?”
“I was planning on doing a little more than crawling.”
Your brows knitted together as you tried to guess what he meant by that. You had a few guesses, but you couldn’t recall a single one after he leaned in. Your mind blanked as he brought his face mere centimeters from yours, his gaze melting into something soft and sweet. The very corners of his mouth curled into a closed-mouth smile, and you let him tuck some loose hair behind your ear.
“There she is,” he whispered to you. He closed in on your neck, his lips ghosting but not touching, brushing over your racing pulse point. When you didn’t stop him—doing quite the opposite actually, falling limp in the cushions—he warmly murmured, “There’s my girl.”
You inhaled through your nose, sharp, trying your best to collect yourself, but it turned out to be your downfall. The scent of him, Eren, your ex love, tickled your nose and reached the very depths of your lungs. Warm but not sweet, almost—
“You smell like smoke,” you said. It lacked any conviction, sounding more like an observation than the complaint you’d intended.
Without missing a beat, in a smushed mumble in the dip behind your ear, Eren asked, “You want me to quit?”
You’d heard that before. You distinctly remembered him telling you he’d already quit, but you never actually believed that.
When you sighed, it wasn’t with reluctance but a feeling you weren’t willing to name. A feeling that no longer resided in the lowest part of you but had spread, alive beneath your skin. Fizzy and tingling, like a live wire daring to be touched. It was hot like anger, and you could call it that—perhaps that was what you wanted it to be. But to say it now would be a big, fat lie, wouldn’t it?
So you didn’t put up a fight. You didn’t argue with him but permitted him to kiss down the side of your throat, even though you shouldn’t have.
It was harmless at first. Eren dappled a few pecks across your skin, like little tastes of you to stave off his appetite. But as his hunger swelled, his mouth became greedy, taking your neck like he wanted to reclaim what was once his. With his hand cupping your jaw to keep you there and pliant for him—as if you wouldn’t have stayed without it.
That hand slid higher up your face. He pinched your cheeks together, your mouth a pucker, and angled your face to look straight at his.
He’s jealous, you thought. He wouldn’t show it, but you knew him better than that. You could feel it radiating from him in waves of heat, hear it emanating in his voice as he said, “You can’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about this.”
Eren placed his hand atop your knee. It was innocent enough until he pulled one leg apart from the other, spreading you to trail up your inner thigh.
“No—” you lied, but it left you in a warble. It sold you out much like the whole-body shiver that took hold of you. He knew what you wanted then, and before you could even think to protest, Eren’s lips captured yours in a kiss.
Soft, you remarked in a gasp of a thought. His kiss felt soft in a way you didn’t know you remembered, in a way you didn’t anticipate, even in the least. As soft as the tips of his fingers, tracing the crease of your thigh, tickling past the band of your underwear…
Eren grinned into the kiss, his lips pulling against yours. He rubbed over the seat of your panties, and even that was enough for his fingers to stick against the damp fabric.
“See? I knew she missed me.”
There was a second where you wanted to curl up and die from humiliation, then another second where you swore you’d take him with you. But whatever you planned on doing, he interrupted it, dropping to his knees in front of you, still beaming that smile back up at you, because he knew your love language was his face buried between your thighs.
Eren’s hands slid up and around your ass. He yanked you forward, lower onto the couch and closer to him. Bunching your shirt high on your chest, he tugged it over your head in a tangle and threw it in some forgotten corner of the room. All the while, you sat wordlessly, gawking, wanting him to do what he wanted with you.
He perched tall on his knees, holding you by your waist as he lifted you from the cushion to meet his mouth. His lips pressed against your sternum first, then he dragged hot breath and kisses down to your navel, stopping every so often to graze his teeth along every delicate curve like he had to stop himself from stealing a bite from you.
Your breathing picked up. Tight breaths and throaty whimpers escaped you with every too-long kiss, every suck of his lips, every bite. Lower and lower, and in his wake, little marks he could later say made you his uncontested.
“I missed you, too,” he said. He wasn’t talking to your pussy this time but you, despite the way he mouthed over it. His heady breath broke over the thin fabric of your underwear and sent your entire body into a swelter.
“You’ve been the only thing on my mind. All I can think about.” Eren didn’t say it as a confession, but as if it were fact. As confidently as he’d tell you that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. “Only you, baby. Only you.”
He licked a moan from you, needy and drawn-out, and couldn’t prevent his own, “Fuck,” from slipping through his teeth. Little more than a hiss, and entirely accidental, it told you how desperate he was for a taste, considering your panties were still in place, keeping his tongue from you.
Eren’s hands pushed back on your thighs. You held them out of his way willingly, watching slack-jawed as he pressed down on your clit. He thumbed at it through your underwear with soft flicks, up and down.
Your hips wiggled and bucked. You couldn’t stop them, you wanted more, more, more. But when you tried to slip from your panties, Eren’s hand latched onto your own to stop it.
“Was he the only one?” he asked you. He kept on thumbing, kept playing with you so toyingly.
Your neck curled in ecstasy, in anticipation. Your eyes fluttered shut as you only thought of him and the feeling of his fingers running along with your clit in between.
The last thing you wanted was to give him the satisfaction of an answer. He didn’t deserve it. He deserved to be kept up at night, wondering if you were getting it better from someone else, someone that wasn’t him.
But you were at his mercy now, wrapped around his finger, and he knew it, too.
“Ah!”
The pathetic yelp that sprung out of you surprised you, but not as much as the quick tug Eren gave your nipple when you didn’t answer. Already sensitive, you could feel the sting he left behind as he pressed, “Was he?”
Eren rolled your perked nipple in his fingers. His other hand still kept busy between your legs, exactly where you wanted them. Up and down, up and down. Just as steady as ever. It made your head spin.
He pinched your nipple again, and you weren’t thinking about how depraved you sounded when you gasped, “Yes!”
Through heavy eyelids, you saw him smiling up at you with the kind of pride that made your heart swell and pussy clench around nothing. The pride of having ruined you for anyone else, because no one else would do.
“Good.” He rewarded you by shimming your panties down your legs and letting them fall to the rug below. Then, he settled himself back between your thighs comfortably.
“Where do you want me? Here?” he asked, licking a broad stripe through you, collecting your arousal on his tongue, punctuating his question by swirling his tongue around your clit. “Tell me what you want, baby—who you want to make you feel good.”
Eren pulled back the slightest bit, just far enough that a string of saliva can drip past his lips, pooling and dribbling down your cunt. His finger caught it, and he used its pad to spread his spit everywhere.
“God,” you panted, completely awed by the man before you whether you liked it or not, nails digging into the taut fabric of your sofa.
“No, not him.” He smiled wryly. If you had it in you, you would have wanted to slap the cheeky look off his face.
Of course, you didn’t have it in you right then, so you, with blind devotion, called out for him. “You.”
“Say my name,” he said “I wanna hear it from your pretty mouth.”
Such a pretty mouth. Pretty lips, too. You didn’t get the chance to say his name before Eren lifted a hand out to touch them. His fingers traced along your pouty bottom lip and tried to push past your lips. When you let him in, just enough to taste yourself on his fingertips, he had to stifle a groan.
“You’re it for me. You know that, right?” He spoke low, his voice like gravel, his timbre teeming with his desire. He pressed down on your tongue like a depressor, and your lips suctioned around his knuckles needily. All you could do then was bobble your head in a nod as he told you, “You’re my girl.”
With that, Eren popped his fingers from your mouth, then immediately dove down. He pinned you to the couch by your hips before burying his face into your cunt, lapping at your entrance, nosing over your swollen clit. Kissing your pussy like he would your lips, with the same fervor as a heated makeout session in the backseat of a car, roaming hands and all.
“Oh—oh! Eren!”
Hearing his name was like throwing kerosine on an open flame. He growled into your cunt, the vibrations of it coursing through you as you chanted his name.
“Oh my god,” you cried out. Throwing your head back, you had to bite your hand to muffle your pleads. Keep going, right there, don’t stop. All said on rushed breaths, sputtered between your moans. And for once in his goddamn life, Eren listened.
He knew your body almost as well as his own. He knew when you wanted him to speed up, flicking the very tip of his tongue against you, and when it would become too much and leave you teary-eyed. How you liked to have his fingers in tandem with his tongue, taking two of them curled just right against that spot you loved deep inside you, farther than you could reach on your own. Slowly at first, with thoughtful drags of his fingers until, he was fucking you with them, over and over, licking around where he split you.
“Mmm, Eren.” It was too much, it was just enough. You cycled through the feelings until the only words you could form were, “I’m gonna come.”
Your legs thrashed a little as you fought the instinct to slam them shut around his head. Though there was a part of you that thought he might not mind it all that much. As you rolled your hips against his mouth, he gripped your ass tighter. He kept you moving, rocking against him, as the strength in your thighs began to falter. He wouldn’t let you go, not this time. Even if you begged for it.
Maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t let him go, either. You couldn’t help but think it as you kept him there, squeezed between your thighs, as your orgasm took hold of you.
Between your sobs, you made out his grunts, “That’s it, baby,” and “Let me have it. Let it all out,” as he snatched your wrist and racked your fingers through his hair.
He wanted you to pull on it, to be rough with him, use him. And that was exactly what you did until you were through with him. Until you were a twitchy, blubbery mess that had gone limp and lazy in his arms.
As spent as you felt, he was nowhere near finished with you yet. You could see it as plain as day on his face, cheeks properly pink from the seal of your thighs, his grin slippery-wet.
Eren kissed your pussy, chuckling to himself when you flinched. “C’mon, pretty girl.” When he stood, he scooped you up with him, with your arms flopped around his shoulders. “Let me take you back to our bed, and I’ll do that over and over for you, as much as you want.” You leaned back to look at him, and he poke the very tip of your nose. “Until there’s no thoughts of anyone else in that pretty, little head of yours.”
I tried using the perspective tool in procreate, and idk if it's just my brain or that I didn't set it up right but Iiiiii hate that thing lol. I think we're gonna just go back to wingin' it (ba-dum-tsh) from now on.
my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits
vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.
I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.
Doesn't really want to be in a gang much. He loves the fighting side- he'll throw hands for the fun of it but he finds the meetings dull and boring and to be honest, he thinks most of gang life is posturing anyways. A bunch of guys in a metaphorical dick measuring contest.
But he'd never let anyone hear him say that.
He loves music. He loves his girlfriend. He loves chowing down a steak and he loves training- fighting aside. He could do amateur boxing he thinks, in another world where becoming famous wouldn't be a burden. He loves taking his girlfriend out and he pretends he's annoyed when she asks for a selfie or takes a picture and says there's this new place she wants to try but he hopes she knows that his annoyance is just a facade. He'd kill to experience those days out with her more than once. He replays them often and ran throws a pillow at him to pull him from his daydreams.
He thinks about that life he won't have often. He won't get married (he knows this) and he thinks often of breaking it off with you. He tells himself he's holding on a little while longer , just to enjoy it. He won't be a famous DJ or boxer - hell he'll be tied to this gang life forever.
In another life, maybe things could be different .
You don't know how it started, but whenever Sae tried to get close to you, your cat would scratch him. Your cat had always been very calm and docile, easily accepting affection, but with Sae, she seemed possessed.
The mood could be perfect—you and Sae cuddling and chatting about your day—but your cat would always jump right in between you.
After staying at your place for just a week, Sae already had about ten cat scratches on him.
However, since dating you practically meant adopting the cat too, there wasn't much he could do about it.
Had Sae ever tried to pet her? Yes, because you asked him to, but she would leap away or swat at his hand.
Had Sae ever tried to feed her? Yes, but the cat would just knock the food away.
Their relationship was truly unique. Sae would look at the cat with pure disdain, and she would scratch him back. It was a relationship built entirely on mutual hatred.
He didn't know what her deal was, but he was certain of one thing: she was the most protective cat he had ever seen. She seemed to view you almost like a kitten and wanted to shield you from him. The reason? Who knows.
You were sitting next to Sae, watching a movie. The atmosphere was cozy; your hands were intertwined, and you were sharing a bucket of popcorn. Moments like this were your favorite—times when you could just sit quietly and be affectionate with each other, undisturbed.
But... you had forgotten about the little demon in the house.
In the middle of the movie, Sae planted a light kiss on your cheek, making you blush happily and smile softly while keeping your eyes on the screen. Just then, you heard a loud purring sound—almost like a protest against the way Sae was clinging to you. (Mind you, he only had one arm draped over your shoulder.)
You shrugged, figuring you’d already done everything for your cat. You’d fed her, given her water, and spent the whole day petting and spoiling her; she had seemed completely content. But the moment she saw Sae close to you, her day was ruined.
You jumped in surprise when you saw your cat—who had been all the way across the room—launch herself in a massive leap, landing right in Sae’s face and scratching him again.
Afterward, she landed in your lap, asking for affection with soft purrs. Was the moment ruined? Yes, but after a few months, the little cat started to accept Sae.
It was a relief to see her curl up in his lap, showing no signs of aggression. Sae started buying cute things for her, and they became... friends, I guess.
Genuinely the easiest form of protest is boycotting and it’s more available than ever it’s never been easier to pirate or shoplift or just buy a fucking alternative youre not going to die if you don’t get your overpriced treats
Seeing how folks react to unhoused people when you've been unhoused is so interesting. Oh, is that person living on the street being "rude"? Hm. I wonder why the person who hasn't been able to eat or shower or lay their head down on anything other than concrete isn't being very nice. I wonder why the person reduced to eating out of trash cans and who can't get anyone to speak to them like a human being is snippy. Huh. I wonder what's eating at them, wow.
