Idk if this is a controversial headcanon or not, but I can't imagine Small Shane Hollander being shy and anxious.
He strikes me as the type of kid who really didn't give a single fuck. Not a one. He was doing his own thing and having fun and being good at it, and whether he had friends or not really wasn't a concern for him because it's not like he wanted to hang out with other gross stupid kids. He was a haughty nonchalant child who didn't even register any kind of bullying attempt from fucking Jimmy, bc who cares about Jimmy?
Any kind of feeling of inadequacy came after puberty when other kids started being slightly more interesting and complex and he became the younger kid on his teams instead of just one more of the lot. When hockey practice actually started to need some team synergy and the dynamics changed on him.
But before that, that kid wasn't shy, and he was having a wonderful time
Ilya Rozanov on the other hand...
Ilya Rozanov on the other hand always tried to blend into the background. He knows that is where it is safe. The voice of his mother speaks to him saying "he cannot hurt us if he cannot see us." A young Ilya Rozanov has spent his young life being told again and again children should be seen and not heard.
And when the other kids are laughing and joking? Too loud he has to distance from them or be seen by authority and he knows the judgment that will be passed. Childish mischief? getting in trouble with Coach or a teacher? With the punishment waiting at home and the risk of disappointing his family an icy anxiety creeping up his spine he shudders away.
So no a young Ilya Rozanov was not always the loud social charmer he grew into.
But that changed the longer he stayed on the ice. At first it was a way to bond with his mama. She would take him out and they would skate together in their own little world. Alone and safe happy in a way he rarely can remember from his childhood.
Skating was never enough. When his father leaned of their excursions he had Ilya put into hockey. A man's sport. Maybe this will build some character in his soft eldest son.
Finally figuring out a way he can prove his worth he puts his all into hockey, his mama takes him to every practice and is there for every match. More than just the team matches she's there when he runs drills alone, always alone, practicing for hours. He knows he has to be the best. If he's not the best then he is nothing. He sees the older kids and the professionals, they all talk about the captain. So that's what he has to be.
To be the captain they need to respect you. And they cannot respect you if they don't know you. Or at least a version of you. He learns what parts of himself he can use to get himself where he needs to be. Being named captain was maybe the first time he can ever remember being enough for his father.
When he lost his mother he was more alone than ever and he knew hockey would be a way out. He was good at this. He knew that this was his ticket and he could make himself anything he needed to be in order to make that happen. He can be quiet he can be loud he can be serious and he can smile for the camera. More more more always needing to give more for everyone in his life.
And he finally was able to take a little of his life back for himself.
