day 1, year 1: taako and kravitz propose to each other simultaneously during teamsweetflips wedding. carey says it’s gay solidarity, but killian says it’s “really weird and insensitive because that guy wanted to reap noelle’s soul, remember that babe? babe, remember?”
day 2, year 1: barry almost proposes to lup while at denny’s, but doesn’t want her to think he’s copying her brother.
day 8, year 1: while building a very nice wooden rc car, magnus cuts his thumb off. too ashamed to ask merle for help, he super glues it back on.
day 9, year 1: lup and barry elope.
day 20, year 1: taako begins hunting the globe for his sister. not because he’s worried or anything. he just has to make sure she knows he’s having the superior wedding.
day 21, year 1: to lure lup and barry back home, magnus hires an orchestra to alternate between saint-saëns’s “the swan” and britney spear’s “work, bitch”
day 47, year 1: still no sign of blupjeans. lucretia begins distributing fraudulent coupons for fantasy home depot, hoping that barry will fall into her BOGO lawnmower trap.
day 53, year 1: taako begins stress baking.
day 55, year 1: boy detective turned college professor angus mcdonald begins distributing massive amounts of desserts to his students.
day 56, year 1: offering to take a massive drive across faerûn to search for lup and barry, hurley joins the hunt.
day 60, year 1: magnus’s thumb begins to rot.
day 69, year 1: nice.
day 294, year 1: taako pops into the astral plane to vent to his fiancé.
day 294, (one minute later), year 1: taako discovers kravitz, lup, and barry eating fantasy panera bread outside the eternal stockade.
day 295, year 1: the raven queen instates a new policy forcing all reapers to attend communication classes. blupjeans apologize, and barry cries into a bowl tortellini alfredo.
day 307, year 1: taako and kravitz get married.
day 17, year 2: on holiday break, angus returns home to see kravitz and taako arguing about the merits of fantasy f scott fitzgerald’s novel “the great gatsby”. he decides to spend his two weeks off at magnus’s house.
day 18, year 2: kravitz and taako divorce.
day 23, year 2: magnus now permanently wears lemon scented gloves.
day 28, year 2: sloane visits, asking if any of them have seen hurley. taako tells her to “ask kravitz, since he’s always right about everything.”
day 57, year 2: kravitz and taako remarry inside a chili’s.
day 58, year 2: kravitz and taako divorce, citing the reason as “chili’s stank”.
day 75, year 2: hurley returns from her wild, cross continent journey. she and sloane kiss on top of the hood of one their battlewagons. they’re in love, and it’s beautiful. they might not be an elf and a halfling, anymore, but they’re here and they’re together. ‘and this?’ hurley tells sloane, and plucks a petal from her bark skin. ‘this feels like living.’
day 76, year 2: kravitz and taako marry for a third time. lup vows to no longer attend their weddings after she finds a severed thumb in the punch bowl.
day 98, year 3: after a heated cooking moment in which kravitz mixed up pepper and paprika, taako files for divorce.
day 102, year 3: kravitz proposes to taako, who accepts gleefully.
day 9, year 4: divorce.
day 72, year 4: remarriage. merle and davenport get a houseboat, and ban taako from entering.
day 2, year 5: kravitz asks for a “mutual separation”. the raven queen decides to give her taako her eternal blessing to “any future marriages or couplings, please stop fucking asking me for my subordinate’s hand in marriage”
day 17, year 5: proposal. remarriage. fantasy instagram photoshoot. magnus cries, not just because the wedding is beautiful, but also because rot is eating his arm from the inside.
day 314, year 6: divorce becomes illegal in faerûn.
dededos
dailybridgerton
baratheonpilled
kianamaiart
