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Requests are open! seventypercentvodka it's my main username and the url of my main blog. If you only care about my fics and oc's they will be all here. Including headcanons that I will probably reblog from my main.

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

So... i did the thing.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The idea and most of the summary is by @chiptrillino. Hope you like it!

Summary

After the invasion of the north failed horribly, Lieutenant Jee is left alone and fed up with the war. He decides to take his savings and deflect to the earth kingdom to end his misery. Somehow he ends up adopting three stabby teenagers and a toddler instead. He may have never wanted kids of his own but these ones at least don't spit fire, and he has a pretty good handle now on aggressive shouty ones with anger issues and trauma.

or; jee doesn't know what to do with his life because the fire nation screwed him over and over and he has a chance of a new start, just like these three kids. AU

It's here! So far i have only organized the reblogs into a chapter and fixed basic misspellings. But this will be a multi chapter fic and hopefully i will update soon!

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Need a fic where Sakura Naruto and Sasuke became friends because they were left to their own devices by the village and need to catch their dinner

It's well stablished Naruto would have starved without that one ramen stand, Sasuke could have just be overwhelmed cause everytime he wants to grocery shop some old lady tried to pinch his cheeks and everyone always looks at them with pity or disdain so they decide to try their luck hunting and foraging. Sakura too could join this either cause his merchant parents left her alone too long or cause they're starving her so she will remain petite and easy to marry off...

I imagine they would do this individually and kinda ran into each other and share tips after a while

Naruto would be by far the best at catching them with his knowledge of traps, Sakura would know the most about edible plants and would quickly learn to skin the animals and Sasuke would feel inferior at first just tending to the fire but would quickly become the best chef ever kinda out of spite

And when they become team 7 and Kakashi makes them wait a little too long they would just start catching and preparing lunch/ dinner. Kakashi is just forced to declare them a hunting squad and they thrive

[wiiwheel]

Everyone is bloomscrolling in my beautiful internet garden

[fagdyke-fckry]

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿 || || 🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷

🌿🪻🌿🪻🌿🪻 || || 🌷🌿🌷🌿🌷🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺 || || 🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿

🌺🌿🌺🌿🌺🌿 || || 🌿🌼🌿🌼🌿🌼

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿 || || 🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹

🌿🌻🌿🌻🌿🌻 || || 🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹🌿

[fromhersoul]

[hauntedhunted]

kiss this babey

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

"Let's get cherished by mamas"

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Kakashi in a nicer world

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Finally decided to attempt reading Dreaming of sunshine (you know a fic is good when it has an ao3 tag, as a fandom!) so.i braved the uncharted waters of fanfiction net for the first time in years. Which was okay ig but also at the beginning the lovely author credits some fics as inspiration and I was like cool those sound nice let me look them up, and they were comparatively short so I decided to read them but forgot that fanfictionnet doesn't let you know if the fics complete or not so I thought I was reading short fics but instead I have read at least 3, 10k long, and at least 10 years old, unfinished stories and I want to cry I have been so spoiled in AO3 I didn't appreciate it enough. Also I'm a fucking addict so I need to check out each author recs and it's a constant rabbit hole of disappointment 😞😞😞 because this fics are awesome!! They build the fandom but these authors are a just a little bit too much like myself and I want to cry

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

I haven't seen anyone complain about this so here we go

It has always pissed me of how no one blamed the Hokage of the conclusion to Hinata's kidnapping

There are a million things he's guilty of but I haven't seen this take yet

Sure I understand a war wouldn't have been good for Konoha, but those guys came over for peace talks so we can assume they should be at least as invested as Konoha in the no war situation

Still, even if was the one dude working solo who kidnapped Hinata and not the whole Kumo delegation, how much of a bitchboy do you have to be to agree to kill one of your Shinobi because the outside faction whined about it??

This dude kidnapped a 4 year old girl with a bloodline ability, and when he was righteously executed by her newly widowed father. Hiruzen in his infinite wisdom, decided to allow this foreign nin!! To demand the life of a clan head from a founding clan??

Sure to make matters worse it wasn't Hinata's father but Neji's who was killed. But Kumo asked for a Clan Head's life in exchange for their deceased criminal's and Hiruzen just went

Yep seems fair, do what you want (???) like??

Where is Danzo when you need it Jesus Christ, at least he would have killed the whole delegation

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Thinking about the sannin and how they all have long luscious hair, which I know is a symbol of their status, strong enough to survive an obvious liability etc etc

but even as fresh genin they are portrayed with long hair, so all I can think about rn is them going out of the village for an easy C-rank and the three of them are disguised as Hiruzen granddaughters scorting their granpa through town

They would be so cute I love them so much 🤩

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

I'm in a Naruto mood once again an the latest headcannon is that the Hyuga aren't just stereotypical asian and that's why they all look the same. There's just an unreasonable number of twins and triplets in that clan. It gives more reason to exist to the branches, and I just think it's hilarious to have the normal number of children per pregnancy to be 2.5

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Also the Hyuuga hace a majority of women being born into the clan and the Nara have a majority of men. And we are talking big disparity like 70-30

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Im perfectly cozy, huddled up on bed, pillows on point complete silence and darkness... Had a good day too.

Still I'm looking at the ceiling and want to scream and trash in place.

I don't know why, I'm not even particularly mad.

I just need to scrape my skin off, pop my skeleton off like legos and go through one of those pasta machines that make the dough nice and flat

Maybe I could do a hot cycle in the washer and dryer too just in case

[lizardlicks]

Throw away fic idea: someone gifts Fire Lord Zuko with a pair of baby waterfowl turtles (coronation? birthday? wedding??). They start out so dang cute, imprint on Zuko and everything, but they grow at an alarming rate. By the time they're twice as big as the resident turtle ducks, palace staff has figured out these are not, in fact, turtle ducks, but snapping turtle swans.

[lizardlicks]

Okay, so the way I see it is that swans have a lot of symbolism and significance, right? They're long-lived, they mate for life, they're supposed to be the embodiment of elegance and grace, so a gift of a pair to a monarch was probably intended to be a great compliment or a gesture of a symbolic wish/blessing for [specific meaning depending on the gifting occasion]. It's just that whoever sent them probably didn't think the logistics through?

You know what, this reads like a King Kuei move. One royal's present to another made with lots of consideration for the message and absolutely NO clue, not a single one, about animal husbandry or behavior. The man kept a pet bear, but do you think he's the one who cleaned up after Bosco? No, of fucking course not.

He inadvertently sends the new fire lord a pair of murder birds.

[dawnsiren]

You also have to consider an equally hilarious prospect

The fact that, as I understand it, live wild geese (wooden in modern times tho) are traditionally given to the bride’s mother by the groom before Korean weddings as a promise that he’ll be love and care for/be faithful to her daughter, since geese also mate for life. And the Fire Nation’s wedding garb is already Korean-inspired.

Through cross cultural misunderstandings this could easily come across as a very messy attempt to propose marriage to… someone. Nobody in the Fire Nation is quite sure if it’s Zuko being proposed to and they gave HIM the geese due to Ursa not being around or if it’s a proposal for Azula since Zuko’s unmarried and legally probably responsible for her/her marriage.

[lizardlicks]

Oh my god that is fucking adorable tho??

Zuko: Im not saying yes, Im just saying we should consider the offer

Azula: Yes, but which of us is the offer for though, Zuzu?

Zuko, hugging his new favorite pet: we should consider...

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

Okay but who is asking tho?

Do we stick with king kuei and he's asking for Azula's hand in marriage because she is technically still the empress of the earth kingdom and it's easier for him to marry her than go through the deposition paperwork (this also has the benefit of Azula doing all the royal duties while Kuei reads books in the background and naps with his bear or whatever)

Is Mei proposing a lavender marriage?

Did Toph just thought murder birds were hilarious, but after being filled in on the details is completely on board with marring one of them for the perks?

Did Zoka get too deep in research and forgot to add a note clarifying his gift?

Did Aang fuck up and thought turtle ducks (which Zuko loves) and Turtle swans were the same? Did he thought the turtle swans were similar but better?

So many possibilities

[plushworldz]

trust i got yall fr 💯💯💯

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

I'm in a Naruto mood once again an the latest headcannon is that the Hyuga aren't just stereotypical asian and that's why they all look the same. There's just an unreasonable number of twins and triplets in that clan. It gives more reason to exist to the branches, and I just think it's hilarious to have the normal number of children per pregnancy to be 2.5

[charlesoberonn]

Anxiety: You're almost 30 and haven't published a single book. You wasted your chance to become a successful author!

Me: Stan Lee created Spider-Man at age 40. George R. R. Martin wrote A Game of Thrones at age 48.

Anxiety: Oh fuck nvm you do you, king.

[charlesoberonn]

:) 👍

[charlesoberonn]

Cormac McCarthy wrote No Country For Old Men at age 72.

[bouncybirdy]

Gene Roddenberry created Star Trek at 45.

Frank Herbert wrote Dune at 45.

Katherine Applegate and her husband Michael Grant co-wrote the first Animorphs book at 40 and 42, respectively.

R. L. Stine wrote the first Goosebumps book at 49.

William Hanna and Joseph Barbera created The Flintstones at 50 and 49, respectively.

Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe at 58.

Bram Stoker wrote Dracula at 50.

Laura Ingalls wrote the first Little House On the Prairie book at 64.

[lor-overcomplicates-everything]

Terry Prachett made books from 36 to 66 (if my math is right) and he would have kept making books until he died. Which, unfortunately, is what happened.

[dear-mybeloved-deactivated20251]

Me thinking that I'm funny was probably the first problem

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

I have this AU where Kakashi is a teen dad (it could be some Danzó bullshit or just a horny feral wolf child behavior before condoms were invented)

And it ends up with Kakashi having a baby a few months before Naruto's born. So Kushina, belly getting bigger by the minute, teaches Kakashi to take care of his newborn, they deal with nappies, colics, maybe she even breastfeed them.

This is so even better if you think about how he was Kushina's bodyguard during the pregnancy, so now instead of lurking in a tree, he stays in the apartment with her all the time giving place to a lot of sweet quality time and bonding. And so by the time Kushina's due date is near she practically adopted that baby. She only asks that he stays around and doesn't disappear in ANBU like he was planning, just check in with them often, be an older brother figure to the babes, that's all she wants.

He of course agrees, he's not even 15 yet and there's no one he would trust to take care of that baby more than Minato and Kushina. They will be raised as the twin children of the Hokage that's the best gift he could give his baby a clean state from the Hatake family dishonor.

But then Kushina dies, and Minato dies. And he was named next of kin on Kushina's will...

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

For real can you imagine?

Kakashi 14 and Three quarters sudden parent to a wolf baby, who suddenly lost his mother his pack. And to a fox Jinchuriki who's temperament is lovely and sunny but is a sympathetic crier and is always starving...

[seventypercentvodka-writes]

I have this AU where Kakashi is a teen dad (it could be some Danzó bullshit or just a horny feral wolf child behavior before condoms were invented)

And it ends up with Kakashi having a baby a few months before Naruto's born. So Kushina, belly getting bigger by the minute, teaches Kakashi to take care of his newborn, they deal with nappies, colics, maybe she even breastfeed them.

This is so even better if you think about how he was Kushina's bodyguard during the pregnancy, so now instead of lurking in a tree, he stays in the apartment with her all the time giving place to a lot of sweet quality time and bonding. And so by the time Kushina's due date is near she practically adopted that baby. She only asks that he stays around and doesn't disappear in ANBU like he was planning, just check in with them often, be an older brother figure to the babes, that's all she wants.

He of course agrees, he's not even 15 yet and there's no one he would trust to take care of that baby more than Minato and Kushina. They will be raised as the twin children of the Hokage that's the best gift he could give his baby a clean state from the Hatake family dishonor.

But then Kushina dies, and Minato dies. And he was named next of kin on Kushina's will...

[badwolfkaily]

This.

[strongwomenunited]

I don’t know about others but the only reason I put both is so that whichever someone clicks on, they will find my fic. So if there is supposed to be rules, I guarantee you that no writer knows these ones. We can barely get people to comment, you think we’re going to specifically choose & or / ? Hell no.

[beatrice-otter]

I’ve been in fandom for twenty years, and “/” means romance and “&” means no romance was literally one of the first things I learned. It dates back to Star Trek fanfiction of the 70s. I’m boggled by the fact that anyone who’s been reading fic on AO3 for more than like five minutes wouldn’t know that, and I’m curious as to what fanfic community you come out of.

I don’t think that tagging with both is actually going to get your fic in front of more readers. People looking for romance often exclude the “&” tag if there are too many gen fics tagged with both. People looking for gen often exclude the “/” tag if there are too many fics with both. So rather than putting your fic in front of twice the people, you are in fact more likely to get your target audience ignoring your fic because it has a tag they don’t want.

Also, by overtagging you are more likely to annoy potential readers away from your fic than entice them. A fic tagged both & and / better have both romance and a ton of platonic interaction between the two characters, like a slow burn romance friends-to-lovers arc. If it isn’t, I’m going to be very unhappy because the author lied to me with the tags to try and trick me into reading a fic with deceptive advertising.

When I’m in a fandom and see tagging where some of the tags don’t really apply and are just there to get it in front of more eyes, I’m going to assume one of two things. Either the author is a newb who doesn’t know anything, or the author is purposefully spamming the tags because they don’t care about lying to their potential audience and think that “spray and pray” is an effective tactic. In the first case, their writing probably will not be very good, so why bother reading their fic. In the second case, the fact that I can’t trust the tags to be accurate means I’m not going to read it to see if it’s interesting even if it has a tag I like. Chances are, that tag isn’t actually in the fic anyway, and even if it is, by spam-tagging the author is making the archive harder to use for everybody. Why would I reward bad behavior with attention? No. Far better to mute the author and move on.

[mylordshesacactus]

More to the point--and no, I will never stop harping on this, because we have GOT to stop leaving our strongest points in the drawer--it doesn't matter if you heard of this convention before joining AO3 or not, because it's in AO3's tagging FAQ.

[id: the "How do I tag a romantic or platonic relationship?" section of the tagging FAQ here.]

"But Jo," you may argue, because you're wrong. "There's no way to find that without digging through site FAQ menus, and that's really inaccessible!"

sure

except

that when you go to post a new fic, and you go to put in those relationship tags, you see this

[id: the Relationships field]

and that tooltip, the one THERE TO EXPLAIN HOW THE FIELD WORKS, links to the Relationships segment of the tag FAQ, which explicitly lays this shit out.

I don't care if you don't know fandom history. I don't care if you've never heard a goddamn word about the spirk shippers. I don't care if you've never been exposed to fandom culture in your life. It is, frankly, not fair to expect those things of everyone.

What is entirely fair to expect is that you will READ THE INSTRUCTIONS PRINTED NEXT TO THE FUCKING BOX, actually. Forget fandom conventions. It genuinely doesn't matter whether you agree with or respect fandom conventions. This is a site policy. This is explicitly how tagging on AO3, specifically, works.