Dispatches From The Sewa Side

Full cope, no scope

[sewasideispainless]

Which makes you feel less hollow inside?

The Wolves Are The Only Ones Left Alive (outline)

Masterclass In Misery (color)

Voting ended onJul 15, 2023

[sewasideispainless]

[sewasideispainless]

[sewasideispainless]

Absence In K Maj.

In your absence, Angels burn their wings Screaming themselves to death Every saint scraped and seen Walking the streets with needles in their arms And a 40 of malt liquor clutched in their hands, shaking Their coin jars hoping for cents of clarity Or just another ending

[radiolightning]

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

[meanwolfs-remade-deactivated201]

i will reblog this everytime it shows up because any of my followers could have a bad night right now

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

All these links, besides the first, are broken. So here’s some more.

Here’s an emergency compliment

Here you can play 2048

Here’s a playlist of Bob ross

Here’s a website to watch movie’s and shows for free

Here’s a website to watch documentaries for free

Here you can to nothing for two minutes

Here you can break something. It’s good for anger

Here’s a button to press to make everything okay

Here’s a site to cut something up (TRIGGER WARNING)

Here’s a site that makes you a website depending on a song you choose

Here’s a gay comic. It’s adorable

Here you can spend Bill Gate’s money

Here you can draw your own island

Here you can learn about patterns website’s use

Here you can get your life stats

Here you can listen to the Tucker Zone (Headphones needed)

Here you can see how fast you’re moving

Here you can see the progress of time

Here you can see the future of the universe 

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

Want some more? 

Here’s the butterfly project

Here’s a snickerdoodle mug cake

Here’s a link to some free audiobooks

Here’s something to read when you feel like a burden

Here’s a secret

Here’s my playlist of some sea shanties 

Here’s another secret

Here’s a link to some cool websites 

Here’s a blog that gives you recipes for when you’re low on spoons

Here’s some Brony Headcanon’s

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

Some more? I’ve got plenty

Here’s 100,000 stars

Here you can control the weather (TW FLASHING IMAGES)

Here you can weave silk

Here you can make a castle of your own

Here you can make a kaleidoscope drawing

Here you can explore recursion

Here you can play a jelly block game

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

I’m back with some more! 

Here you can draw with pasta

Here you can draw logo’s from memory

Here you can play this is sand, here you draw cool sand designs

Here you can play The Organ Trail

Here’s a customizable white noise website

Here you can simulate gravity

Here you can create your own guardian of the galaxy

Here you can make your own galaxy

Here’s a website you can get some support at.

[becausewhatiam-iswhatimnot]

to find later

[addiewho]

Here you can split circles into smaller and smaller pieces (I found this really satisfying)

Here you can have images of people point to where your pointer is

Here you can paint someone’s nails

Here you can grow a garden across your screen (Audio included)

Here you can try out all kinds of mind illusions (Trigger Warning: Flashing Lights)

Here you can see how many miles you have scrolled

Here you can watch a website load forever, although you might be getting enough of this on Tumblr mobile

Here’s a rickroll

Here you can remind yourself that you’re awesome.

Here you can throw trash into a dustbin only for it to bounce right back out (Audio included)

Here you can make sand dunes using sand (Audio included)

And here you can generate more cool websites like these

[boy-in-the-stars]

pinning thissss

[fiddlepickdouglas]

And yet more!!!

Here you can listen to a gentle rainstorm

Here you can make snowflakes

Here is a Line Rider feature film with relaxing music

Here is the entire script to the Princess Bride (many don’t need it but it’s fun to read anyway)

Here is an abbreviated script for the entirety of Book 1 of A:TLA that I made out of anger at the film that definitely doesn’t exist

Here is a playlist of the top 10 most relaxing songs ranked according to science

Here’s a site where you can make a dude beatbox with fun animations

[nyxsomnia7]

I’m fully aware I will need this at some point.

[sewasideispainless]

Reblogging for personal use

[sewasideispainless]

THE ADDICTION OF ANYTHING-IS-POSSIBLE THROUGH THE BLOODY HAZE OF BROKEN YESTERDAYS

Varicose vain

and full of poison

I need the light like warmth

Another false sensation

Fingertips and papercuts

Bleed warm ink onto page

Drips onto the kitchen floor

Insanity

I need your drugged ink

Your DMTs and HIVs

Acid dipped marijuana quills

Filled up with your subtle poison

Papercuts and ink poisoning

And it’s oh so easy to get infected

With your skin removed and your soul laid bare

Sinewy muscles twist and stretch, oiling the human machine

The ink spills and the infestation begins

My word and soul black ink tattooing on the folds of the mind

Filling up your arms and backs with my caustic thrills

Leaving permanent marks on the soul

So bring me your tortured artists and your blind,deaf,mute muses

Walking through the seas of broken glass display cases

The pain is bright and real

We are all infected

[sewasideispainless]

The Museum Of Dead Memories

I take a walk through the museum of dead memories

I greet me at the door

The me I was back when you were still around

Before that part of me got drowned

I approach the silverware of regrets exhibit

Starting at the spoons of silence and working my way all the way down to That Fork That Always Bothered Me, you know, the one with two tines as sharp as death

And twice as painful. The one that reminds me that we're all meat just waiting for our diner. A Diner's Club card with no spending limit, an all you can eat feast. A leftover can of Fancy Feast in the cupboard, I can still feel Ruby's fur on windy days. The coffee maker is permanently empty, never again to wake me to the sound and smell of a fresh brew my body can no longer handle. I approach the refrigerator of cold comforts, finding That Milkshake I Drank After I Lost My Wisdom, Teeth various and sundry, some baby most permanent, in a bowl soaking in the milk of kindness, the serial cereal. I hear a pop and the toaster of temptation ejects a charred piece of paper telling me I'm cordially invited to a pool party in The Bathtub That I Can Never Visit Again, the Fountain Of Youth, The Hot Springs Of Healing

My breakfast complete, I continue on to the Bedroom With Blacked Out Windows, I can't stand the darkness outside at night, but the darkness inside is strangely comforting, keeping the Wendigos Of My Downfall at bay, outside with the January Ghoul, amid the flowers blooming out of season, al-affective, disordered but beautiful, a panoply of colours exploding across my mind like an atom bomb of beautiful madness and soulful delirium, forming the forbidden rainbow, the one my family always said was a promise of love, just apparently not from them, for me, for what, I am. I'm grateful that memory is dead as I approach the closet to get clothed in my delusions of the day, brushing the skeletons out of the way, I see the fasteners that made me bleed, leather and metal swinging through the air, and open an umbrella in the house, giving me a lifetime of bad luck, an infinite rainstorm in my head

[sewasideispainless]

PRIZE ME

I'm gettin ready for the weekend

You only want me when I'm Living Dead

Cock back your shotgun

Point it at the pain in my head

You only want me when I'm Living Dead

You only haunt me when I lose my head

On the darkest nights I still recall what you said

You only love me when I'm off my head

So here I stand again

Brain in my hands, hands in my brain

Stick my fingers in and SQUISH more insane

Losing song lyrics with every push

"I only like it when it rains"

Hahaha.... SQUOOSH

I'll lobotomize me

If you swear to fuck you'll prize me

Your lies they hypnotize me

I'll kill anyone you want, surprise me

And sympathize me

Swear to God you'll prize me

I'm begging you to prize me

I'm on my knees please prize me

So prize me

I'll die please

PLEASE KILL ME

MY BRAIN LEAKS

I CAN'T SPEAK

FUCK

[sewasideispainless]

This is my outcry from the battlements

Where I fight my private war

Against nothing

The arrows pierce my flesh and I'm bleeding now

Blood pouring from every atom displaced when you were ripped from my stillbeating heart

By a darkness that stretches across aeons

Across space

Across time

The darkness leaks from my eyes

Devouring all I am

I raise my sword and turn it on myself

Trying desperately to carve the pain out from the inside

To save that small quiet voice

Some small scrap of who I am

Who I was

Who I'm meant to be

The bloody darkness forming a sea that stretches across the rest of my life

War at sea

I know this is a fool's errand

A war of attrition

A losing battle

You levitate when your feet touch water

Just having to trust that the next step won't be the sinking one

The drowning one

The one where you slip under and the blood and darkness fills your lungs

I take a step into the void

Now another step

Just having to trust that I won't go under

And that if I do

You'll throw me a line

Designed

To preserve my life

Until I'm ready

To fly

[sewasideispainless]

Walk into my flesh, love

And feed me in my dreaming

I'm twitching and I'm screaming.

Flesh crawling with worms and memories.

It might not be a nightmare, but it's sad and it's melancholy and my face is melting.

Stalk the byways of my orchard

Pulling eyes down off the grapevine

And taking a bite,

vitreous fluid dripping down your chin like concord grape juice

or your thick black tears,

mascara stain'd and all alone.

You wake to the sound of nothing,

which is the unsound,

not a sound,

and also the worst kind of sound,

making a wasp nest in the thicket of your brain.

Buzzing, buzzing, EVER FUCKING BUZZING.

I am a murder laid out on a slab in the center of a highway,

a carcrash, not a carcrash, a carcass, and a warning.

A warming sort of swarming,

the wasps now exploding out my eyesockets,

a pocket of pus beginning to leak out of my soul,

a hole.

In everything.

Everything hollow, everything full,

you're a child again and they're telling you stories of wonders untold to get your head to rest after a nightmare.

But their head is the death of your first love

and it's screaming, screaming, ever screaming,

showering maggots onto you with every volley of sound.

Go to sleep,

I love you with every inch of the open wound that stretches across every inch of my festering soul,

a scalpel taken to memories of your face, revealing it as naught but a cruel tableau.

You only exist in pictures now,

because your head is a corpse

and mine is the end of all things.

[sewasideispainless]

Caffeinated Cataclysm

Caffeinated Cataclysm

You make my brain whirl

But I'm just a ceramic vase

Full of crick cracks from all the times you knocked me off the shelf

Only the shelf, it turns out, is my sense of self

And the cracks may be more or less from me trying to hold on too tight

Fingerprints leading into spiderweb fractures

Creeping across the last time I saw you smile

And profess your love

In blues and reds as rich as blood

From see you laters to I love you buds

Storms sometimes lead to scattered showers after they're through

Soaking through my chrysalis put up to put through the changes

Put up your hands, this is a stick up

I'll be taking your sense of self

Try it on like an ill fitting costume to go with my wings

Remember the chrysalis, I'm going through some changes

Your cocoon made of hardwood, mine of flesh and bone

The ocean separating your skin from my skin

Is it possible for fish to drown in the inky black sea that divides my life from yours

Add 6 feet and drop, subtract 4 because we're only human

Divide by all the times you left me here, breathing in salty air and breathing out colors

Oil paint dripping from my lips as the art you knocked out of me touches canvas

The drips creating flowers and nothingness

All of us want to be angels

But my chrysalis is still too tough

For my wings to spread

Without breaking