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HOLY FOOK I HIT A THOUSAND FOLLOWERS!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!

Magnus: I hate everyone in this room

Jace: even Alec?

Magnus: I said every one Angle Boy, not every ten

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild

Jace: hey Alexander, you still gay?

Alec, absolutely fed up: No. I forgot to pay my gay bills this month, so they cut me off.

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild

Interviewer: Consul Alec, how would you describe your parabatai?

Alec: he’s like that 0.01 percent of the germs that wouldn’t die of a sanitizer

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A FANART OF THIS WE NEED IT

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humour

Will Herondale at some point, probably

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #will herondale #jem carstairs #tessa gray #cecily herondale #gabriel lightworm #sophie collins #gideon lightwood

Simon: what are you going to do, stab me?

Jace:

Simon: actually, no, don’t answer that

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild #simon lewis

What should I read first? Ghosts of the shadow market or Chain of Gold?

Definitely ghosts of the shadow market!

Jace, on his fourteenth tequila shot: if coconuts have fur and give milk why don’t we classify them as mammals?

Clary and Simon: holy shit

Alec: wot da phaq

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild #simon lewis

Police: you have the right to remain silent

Jace: but do I have the ability?

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild

Simon: what’s something that makes you feel better?

Jace: thinking about clary, being with clary, just clary.

Simon: what’s something that makes you feel better?

Alec: oh, coke

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild #simon lewis #my sincerest apologies to alec #i know you’re a responsible guy #just be an edgelord for my meme

Clary: I wish someone would write a poem about me

Alec: roses are red, violets are kinda blue, life is short and so are you

Clary: why-

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild

Clary: hey Alec do you know sign language?

Alec: yeah

Alec: *flips clary off*

Alec: this means fuck you

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild #the last hours #the wicked powers #the eldest curses

Will: why does everyone always assume I’m doing something stupid?

Jen: to save time

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #will herondale #jem carstairs #tessa gray #cecily lightwood #gabriel lightworm #gideon lightwood #sophie collins

Alec: are you seeing anyone right now?

Jace: no, not really, why?

Alec: well I think seeing a therapist would be good for you

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace herondale #clary fairchild #the last hours #the wicked powers #the eldest curses

the-last-hours-shrine-deactivat

Matthew: Why are we lying on the floor?

James: You fainted after Thomas told you he was dating Alastair

James: So I decided to lie next to you so people would think we were just chilling

Thomas, walking up: Yes, because the middle of the London Institute is a great place to be ‘just chilling’

stxr-thxif

dru: i keep cursing in ice cream flavors and julian has told me to stop

dru: update: i still haven’t stopped

ty: how do you curse in ice cream flavors?

dru: what the mint chocolate chip did you say to me punk? i’ll your rocky road then punch the ever loving strawberry cheesecake out of you

kit: that was beautiful

Soo some Jordelia headcannons that no one asked for but I'm gonna post because my last headcannon post got famous (yeah I'm vain that way)

The first thing that pops into my mind for some reason is JAMIE AND LUCIE FIGHTING OVER CORDELIA. You cannot convince me that this doesn't happen.

"Let me have Cordelia Jamie you never leave her alone!" "She's my WIFE!"

"SHE'S MY PARABATAI!"

Cordelia is just done with their nonsense smh. (shh- shaking HER head).

Jamie absolutely hating British cuisine after marriage and thinking wow why did I ever like this bland-ass, tasteless crap? Because now they eat Persian food everyday. And the Merry Thieves come over for dinner everyday. And Will and Tessa show up too because "IT'S GOOD FOOD TESSA YOU'RE A SUCKER FOR TASTY FREAKIN' FOOD TOO AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"Will, for god's sake, it's not appropriate to eat at your in-laws' everyday!" But she goes anyway because Sona's Boz Ghormeh is irresistible.

Sona taking Jamie's side in every argument. That's final and y'all know it.

Alastair taking Cordelia's side in every argument, but he does it subtly and vehemently denies it when Cordelia addresses him about it.

If the argument escalates beyond control, Cordelia whips out Cortanna and threatens to stab Jamie.

Needless to say, Cordelia wins every argument.

She makes up for it later tho, she's as intense in bed as she's in an argument. (Like we didn't know that)

Both Jamie and Cordelia are simps for each other. Cue the constant teasing.

"You better be back before dinnertime" is how they say goodbye before dangerous missions.

Jamie being extremely affectionate in public. And rubbing it in Will's face. Because "guess what I have a wife now and I'm gonna kiss her this is a payback for all those years of gross kissing Luce and I endured"

"Daisy, my Daisy!"

Constant Layla Majnu references.

I mean constant.

So basically just Jordelia being iconic people and an iconic couple.

#cassandra clare #the mortal instruments #the dark artifices #the infernal devices #shadow world #shadowhunter chronicles #the last hours #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #mathew fairchild #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #tessa gray #will herondale #headcanon

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