but like, the differences show waaaaaay before they even get to the pool, that's the final decision in this sequence
and both are here for the same and yet totally polar reasons, in two very different and eerily parallel character arcs
to directly copy from my previous post, bc i can't find it but i have the draft...
vax comes here out of desperation. he's here because of a deal he made after his only family died, and he doesn't know what to expect, but he'll do anything to keep vex from getting hurt. but he's here on the raven queen's command, he comes here during the day, with friends, and the temple's there to greet him. while the experience spooks him, it's overall a positive one.
percy comes here out of desperation. he's here because of a deal he made after his whole family died, and deep down he knows it's too late, but he'll do anything to keep even a single other person from getting hurt because of him. percy shows up at night, alone, and the entire scene feels like something lifted out of a horror movie.
they're both lost and looking for guidance. both have a tendency to turn towards gods for that. but the difference is what vax hears is what he needed to, it reaffirms his position in the world that was on very shaky ground for a while there, and he feels like he has a direction after it, which is what he so desperately needed here. i think a good half of vox machina see the raven queen as a terrible influence on vax's life bc of how things ended but like. that wasn't her fault and she helped him a lot
and percy? percy's faith shatters. like, that's it, that's the moment, right there! sure, he hasn't been a devout worshipper up to this point by any means, but he's respected gods exist in this world and generally aren't evil. he grew up in a pretty religious town and like... when he went looking for help in taking back whitestone the first friend he tried to find was the priest of pelor. in fact, father reynal, the owners of two magic shops, and the people who lived in the castle were the only friends percy mentioned, he was a nerdy kid but like he had a lot of respect for pelor, and he's always been open to working with gods.
and he does, here! like this is definitely one of percy's lowest points, he just learned ripley bought up a fuckton of gunpowder and he knows she's his biggest mistake and he's terrified and in a huge pit of self loathing because he's aware he's caused thousands of deaths in the world and will probably cause more without meaning to and wants to know if there's any possible way it can all be fixed, so he goes to a god for help
(and, to his credit, like... he's doing his best to trust her and when the raven queen tells him to have faith and step into the pool he does, he tries, up until the point it starts hitting on all that massive trauma he's never dealt with like the death and the drowning and then he has a panic attack)
but her advice is not something that's helpful for him. she sees from the perspective of an ancient being who killed her predecessor to fight for ascension, not a terrified 23 year old who feels like he broke the world
she can help vax, because vax needs purpose, vax is lost and aimless and confused but so willing to trust, vax who needs to believe there's a plan in place for everything. vax leaves here with the revelation that everything he's done, every mistake he thought he made or bad thing he went through, they were leading him here, to the people he loves most, so they were all worth it. he's happy knowing there was a plan in place, because it gives everything meaning. (keyleth even tries to argue he shouldn't trust her, bc keyleth thinks like percy here, but they're on two entirely different wavelengths, like if you watch that they just talk past each other, but pike gets it)
and percy, what is percy supposed to do with a grand plan? if all this was predetermined, then that means some grand being decided his life had to be destroyed, everyone he ever knew murdered, and worse, he'd be the one to inflict ten times that on the world. how are you supposed to have any hope for the future, knowing that?
(i think there is a way and i don't think the raven queen was necessarily malicious here, i could write a whole other post on her motivations, but the fact remains it's not what percy needed to hear right now because he was not capable of imagining a hopeful future in this state)
and he asks. he outright asks, "did it choose me because i was broken, or did it break me?", he asks over and over "can i fix this?"
was this always destined, is there any hope, what can i do? (and god the way he just quietly adds "i like to fix things" on the end of that kills me)
and she tells him he was always broken. she also tells him in vague words that there's a possibility for this to be fixed, but it's almost a dare, it's definitely not a comfort and honestly to percy is just a confirmation that there was nothing he could have done about this. it's hard to imagine productive solutions to a problem when a god tells you you've been broken your whole life.
and percy takes that, and goes "fine then, if all of you are so determined to ruin my life, i don't have to like or listen to you", and he never trusts a god again. they've stopped being kind benevolent all powerful beings, they're just powerful. they have the power to ruin lives and percy's going to treat them like any other powerful being, they're not worthy of respect just for that
this rears its head especially in the finale, when vax is okay with this ending, but the raven queen straight up has to paralyse percy to stop him physically fighting her, he is done with her idea of fair and her idea of perfection
and i'm just fascinated by the fact that the raven queen didn't change personality at all in this episode, but vax went from seeing her as a threat to seeing her as a mentor, and percy went from seeing her as a mentor to seeing her as a threat
anyway this episode drives me fucking INSANE
stormborns
titsay
romaincrisis
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
